CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE: Confession

Fifteen hours later, they made it through customs at LAX airport. Taeyeon carried both of their duffel bags since Jessica's arm was still healing. Sandwiches were fine, but luggage would be a pain, surely.

"You're dumb," Jessica said. "I have, like, another hand I can use."

"Maybe I wanna make a good impression on your parents."

"You think they'll fall for that?"

"We'll see, won't we?"

"Ha. Idiot." Jessica smacked her on the arm.

They made their way up the ramp and exited the building to the pickup area. Jessica pulled out her cell phone. She had been admittedly surprised when she could turn it on after charging in Narita since she had not used it for so long. "Hey, mom."

"SOOYEON!" 

Jessica pulled her phone away from her ear and rolled her eyes. Taeyeon smirked.

"Mom, we're here."

"WE'RE WAITING AT CARLS' JUNIOR. WE'RE TURNING OUT OF THE PARKING LOT RIGHT NOW. GO, DAD!"

"Really, mom, Carls' when In N' Out is right there? Oh, right, because you've had it for the past so many months!"

"OH HONEY, WE CAN GET BURGERS TO GO FROM IN N' OUT BEFORE WE HIT THE FREEWAY."

"Thanks, mom. And you don't have to shout. See you soon."

Jessica pocketed her phone with a tremendous sigh.

"Someone's mom is turnt up," Taeyeon said. "I've never seen you like that. Are you secretly as expressive as your mom?"

"Expressive? You want expressive?" 

Before Taeyeon could react, Jessica pecked her on the lips. She stared at Jessica wide-eyed and looked over her shoulder. Nobody was looking at them funny. So this was America. She broke into a smile.

Los Angeles itself . The LAX International Airport was cold, dry and industrial. There were three hundred cars crammed into two lanes for pick up, while a low concrete ceiling hung over them. Across the passenger pick up lanes were islands for commercial pickups, where large buses like Flyaway and Airport Limosuine blumbered through. The smell of gasoline was nauseating.

Jessica's parents eventually arived in their nine-year old Hyundai. Mrs. Jung flew out of the passenger seat and flung her arms around Jessica as she burst into tears. Taeyeon stood to the side, very much aware that it was her fault that Mrs. Jung was so hysterical to see one daughter return home.

Mr. Jung hovered awkwardly until he decided that his wife was not going to let go of his daughter any time soon. He turned to Taeyeon. She bowed slightly as he took the bags from her.

"How was the flight?" Mr. Jung asked. He was clearly a Seoul native who had been in America for a long time, and was now more used to speaking in English. His accent was polished by city life but slowed down by English's strong pronunciation ticks.

"It was fine," she replied. "Thanks for letting me stay in your house."

"It's no trouble at all. We should be thanking you instead for bringing Sooyeon back to us safely."

"I didn't do anything."

"Don't listen to her. She sure did," Jessica said. "Mom, dad, this is Taeyeon. Like I said on the phone, I was on attachment with her team for most of my tour."

Taeyeon blinked and nodded along. It was understandable that Jessica would not want her parents to know that she had been a lot more danger being with Taeyeon outside in some gangster army outfit for a signficant chunk of that time. Speaking of which, she should probably pay YG a visit when she returned to Korea. Specifically, their weapons warehouse.

"-Tiffany was with you for a while, right? She passed messages through her Times' editor to us whenever she submitted articles."

"Yep," Jessica said. "Tiff was-"

Besides, she wanted to see how Sunny was doing. As much as she disliked the handicapped control freak, she hoped that Sunny had recovered from ingesting the nanorobots by now. Maybe she could get Dr. Seo to take a look. Even though Dr. Seo was not a real doctor doctor, she was pretty much the benevolent dictator of all things Chimera. Taeyeon felt a little bad about burdening the doctor with Sunny, because she was already cut up about having developed Chimera. For the sake of scientific progress, she had killed a roomful of people, paralyzed Hyoyeon, changed the lives of three others without their consent, and won the war. Sunny and Dr. Seo both had terrible lives.

A hispanic man wearing a reflective safety vest walked over to them and said some things to them. He looked irritated. The Jungs said some things back and went into the car. Taeyeon followed Jessica into the backseat.

"And that's how she became my girlfriend."

Mrs. Jung twisted around to get a good look at Taeyeon, who gulped. , I need to pay attention. She caught Mr. Jung looking at her through the rearview mirror. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Jung."

"It's good to see you too. Tiffany wrote another article on your team a few weeks ago. She had a whole series at the beginning of Sooyeon's tour about your platoon, did you know that? Anyway, so she published another piece recently about the end of the war. She said a few of you were badly injured, and you weren't interviewed. Are you okay now?"

"Yes, it wasn't too bad." It was pretty terrible but one of your daughters is dead and the other is still injured. Meanwhile, I'm completely ing healthy. "I'm fine now. Thanks for asking."

"It was pretty terrible, mom. It was a good thing she has the genetic enhancement stuff."

"Technology is so amazing these days. Well, I'm glad you're here with us, Taeyeon. Thank you for your service. Without you, Sooyeon would still be in that horrible war."

"I... it's nice of you to say that."

"Aren't you going back to in Korea after just one week? What will you two do?"

"I told her she can stay however long she wants with us. So maybe Taeyeon will stay longer," Jessica said. "If not, I was thinking, that I'd sign up for another tour in Korea. It's not going to be dangerous since there's no fighting. The cap said that we've committed to helping Korea for another year. I'll stay home for a month or two, then go over for one tour, and we'll see where we go from there."

"Another tour so soon?"

"I'm going to be home doing nothing for at least four whole weeks, mom."

"We should discuss this more later."

Jessica sighed. "Sure."

Taeyeon leaned back on the headrest, holding in her own sigh. She looked out at the road. They were joining the freeway. She thought that they had talked about getting burgers earlier, but she did not mind because she did not think that she would be able to stomach the food.

The freeway was tremendous. Six wide lanes filled bumper to bumper with SUVs. It was as if everyone in this country lived like a celebrity.

"The 405 is always like this. Once we reach the 10, it'll be better," Jessica said.

Taeyeon nodded. Dusty buildings on either side of the freeway were crammed together and low to the ground. It felt like the busiest section of her hometown multiplied by a million times.

It took two and a half hours to get to Jessica’s hometown in Pomona. She told the Jungs to just speak English around her, but they said it was fine. The Jungs were being too nice. Jessica pointed to a random exit on the way. “That’s Diamond Bar. Tiffany's dad lives there. She used to live on my street.”

Taeyeon looked. For such a fancy name, it did not look any different from the other towns they passed. Pomona did not look any different either, but once they got off the freeway and turned into the actual residential district, it was quite beautiful. She felt like they were driving through postcard American suburbs, with green trees and solid houses.

They turned a corner and pushed further into the town. The shops became emptier and uglier. Jessica house was one of the many on a narrow street. The yards here were patchy and the cars were dull.

“The place used to look nicer, but we’ve had to save water because of the drought,” Jessica said.

Still, the houses needed repainting. This made Taeyeon feel better, because then Jessica’s family wasn’t that much different from her own.

“You’re so quiet,” Jessica said. “It’s cute. But, really, we usually speak in Korean at home, so just relax. Remember that time you asked me how my Hangul got so good and I said it was because of my mom? Treat it like your place. We’ll wash up, take a nap, then go out for dinner in the evening.”

Taeyeon followed Jessica into the house. She was shown the kitchen, living room and backyard. The bedrooms were on the second floor. Both floors were carpeted. Soojung’s bedroom door was closed. It loomed over Taeyeon as they passed through the corridor. Her gaze paused over the potrait of a young woman with straight, blond hair and a hesitant smile. She had not remembered what Soojung looked like, and could not recognize her, but this had to be her.

Jessica's room was plastered with movie posters, and there was a bookshelf filled with novels. Taeyeon tried to memorize the small, easy smile on Jessica's face.

"Do you want to shower first?"

"Uh."

"Yeah?"

"Could I talk to you and your parents? I have something important to say."

"Sure, just say whatever when we go for dinner later."

"It's... I don't think it can wait, if that's okay with your parents. It's about Soojung."

Jessica blinked, her eyes instantly overbright. Taeyeon swallowed. 

"What is this about?"

"I think it's better if I tell everyone at one go."

"Okay... Meet us at the living room."

"Thanks." 

She went downstairs. There were photographs everywhere of the two daughters of this house growing up. There were little frames standing on the piano mantle. The sisters did not look alike, and yet they were so clearly siblings. She sat at the dining table. The carpet under her bare feet was obviously synthetic.

She heard the voices above get louder as Jessica and her parents left their rooms and descended the stairs. She stood when they walked in.

"You don't have to stand up," Mrs. Jung said.

Taeyeon nodded. When the three of them were seated at the table, she bowed low and held it. Before they could tell her to straighten up or whatever it was that nice, once-perfect families did, she raised her head and took a seat. "I don't have any right to ask this, but please listen to what I have to say, because you should know the truth."

Jessica said, "Taeyeon, what is this about?"

"Soojung wasn't shot by some deserter who lost control," she said. "You were lied to. She died because of me."

"What are you saying?" Mr. Jung asked. Taeyeon averted her eyes.

"Before Tiffany wrote those articles about my team, our genetic enhancement program was confidential. I was on a mission when I was hit by a makeshift grenade and got critically injured. My team was sent to an aid station that Soojung was posted to. She wasn't supposed to be there, but the floor I was on was shorthanded, and she was kind enough to insist on staying there. She saw my legs heal themselves faster than they should. That's all she found out, but the Captain commanding the aid station ordered me to take her out because she had become my responsibility. I should have helped her escape right then."

She looked at Jessica. They both knew that she had defected from the military to save herself. In fact, Jessica disregarded her own safety to help Taeyeon leave. She had not done the same for Soojung.

"But... it seemed like a good idea if we could temporarily hide her until the information became public. It didn't seem like that would take long since our team was doing well out in the open. People would notice us soon enough. That was a stupid idea, I realize that now. The Captain agreed with us when we asked, but after Chimera went public, I found that he had shot her himself. I am so sorry. I should have gotten her out. I know there is nothing I can do to make up for what happened. If I had a gun, I'd let you shoot me-"

"Stop talking, Taeyeon," Jessica said.

"I'm very sorry." She took the white envelope out of her back pocket and submitted it across the table. "Please accept this."

No one spoke for a while. Mr. and Mrs. Jung were weeping.

"So you always knew what happened to my sister?" Jessica asked.

She almost lost her voice when she saw the look on Jessica's face. "No. I realized who Krystal was only after you told me how she died."

"Is that any better?"

"No, of course not."

"Why didn't you tell me immediately?"

"Because of the situation at the time, I wanted to make sure you got back home. I didn't think you'd let me do that if you knew. I'm sorry."

Jessica said nothing. Her parents just kept crying.

Mr. Jung struggled to compose himself even though he was leaking tears more silently than his wife. Mrs. Jung sniffled, her voice breaking up. "Thank you... for telling us the truth, Taeyeon. Did Soojung at least know that she was in danger?"

"Yes and no. She agreed to be held in a penitentiary in Cheonan for the time being. She trusted us."

They lapsed into silence again. She kept as still as she could. She could not look away from Jessica. She had expected Jessica's eyes to be dull and cold, but they were sharp as flints.

"Get out."

Taeyeon nodded. She stood up and stepped back. She lowered to her knees and bowed again. Then she rose and walked out into the hallway. She put on her shoes, and turned the lock on the main door.

She heard a chair fall over with a thump on the carpet in the living room, and Jessica came running out. Jessica shut the open door and locked it. "'Get out', you melodramatic idiot, means going to my room and staying there until I feel like seeing you again."

"You don't have to keep me here. I understand."

"You understand jack ."

Jessica grabbed her wrist and dragged her to the stairs and up to the second floor. Taeyeon stumbled down the corridor, past Soojung's door again, to Jessica's bedroom. Jessica whirled on her.

"Who gave you the right to decide when to tell me about my own sister's death?"

"I'm so sorry."

Jessica did not respond. Her eyes were still blazing. Taeyeon could not tell what she was thinking. 

"I... went to find the Captain before we left Korea. He's dead."

"You killed him?"

"No, he died sometime before."

"Were you going to kill him?"

"Yes."

"You-"

Taeyeon did not want to hear her say it. Hyoyeon's words still hurt. She wished she had left the house quicker. She could still leave now. Jessica would not be able to stop her. No. You're not going anywhere.

"At first," she said. "When I knew, I was afraid that you would leave if I told you. And then, I don't know if it was from telling myself hard enough, but it became about bringing you home to your parents. They'd lost enough."

"Were any of the feelings I thought you had for me even real?"

"All of it was. You know me, I can't fake things like that."

"I thought I knew you," Jessica said. "And I didn't know this until now."

"I'm sorry. I was too scared to tell you."

Jessica looked to the side, her stare hardening. Then her head snapped up and she grabbed Taeyeon's wrist again and pulled her into the attached bathroom. There was a door on the other side. Opening it, the bedroom here was thick with stale air. The duvet on the bed was neatly tucked and untouched. Taeyeon did not want to be in this room.

"You owe Krys an apology. Not because you think you're the reason why she's... she's not here, but because she hasn't been mourned for properly. We were all under this delusion that she died in a freak accident. It's been eleven months, Taeyeon. Eleven ing months. It doesn't matter you didn't know that she was my sister most of that time. The moment you found out, you should have told me like a decent ing human being."

She nodded and swallowed hard.

"Meanwhile, I am going to go downstairs to be there for my parents. You better not leave. You better be here."

"I will. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Jessica left through the entrance, taking some effort to yank the door open before shutting it quietly.

Taeyeon stood. She looked around. Photographs with friends on a corkboard. Handmade trinkets on another shelf. A stereo and a stack of CDs. A heavy-looking laptop with volunteer effort decals on the cover. A cushion on the bed appeared to have been hand knit in some third-world country. Kid crayon drawings lined the walls.

She rolled out Soojung's chair lightly and sat down on it, twisting about. She leaned her head back on thin air and closed her eyes. She opened them again and looked at the ceiling, slumping down to the back rest.

"You're so full of ."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing. I'm still angry that you kept this from me for so long," Jessica said. "But we don't blame you for my sister's death. We're not even going to tell the Navy about this. We want them to get an apology from South Korea, but you'd get implicated."

"Don't worry about me."

"Shut up. We're not going to tell anyone."

"You don't have to do that. If it weren't for me, your sister wouldn't be dead right now."

"I told you to shut up! Don't you dare talk about Krys like that." Jessica shuddered, tears slipping down her face. She latched onto the front of Taeyeon's shirt and sobbed into her hands. Taeyeon moved close and put her arms around her.

"You were right, at the time, I would have ditched you."

Taeyeon stayed silent, rubbing Jessica's back with one hand.

"And maybe you're right. Maybe I wouldn't be alive right now. I most definitely wouldn't be home yet. I have the feeling that if you got to do this again, you'd still keep the truth from me."

She hesitated, then nodded honestly.

Jessica drew away. "Seriously. When Tiffany says that someone is a , I should listen to her. And why the hell did you give us so much money. After a certain point, it doesn't look like it's for condolences anymore."

"That's all it was supposed to be."

"Whatever. I had to explain to mom and dad how that was probably the case with you, but not before they had to explain to me why the hell would you give us money... as if my sister can be paid for in dollars. Fortunately for you, I've learnt your customs, and they know now that my girlfriend goes all or nothing. Your ploy to get in their good books is working," Jessica said. 

Taeyeon offered a weak smile.

"Take a shower and get some rest. We'll order delivery tonight. You can pay for it and keep the rest of your ridiculous life savings."

A/N: Looks like it's time to end soon... Thanks for the comments/upvotes last chapter! How was this one?