Sunggyu couldn’t remember ever feeling so embarrassed as he was dragged through the backstage corridor. It was just at the time where all the idols were heading towards the final stage, and Sunggyu felt his cheeks colour at being roughly manhandled in front of them. He tried to slow down his pace and pull his arm out of Jungsu’s grip but though well into his forties; the manager was well built and simply tightened his hold on Sunggyu’s arm before walking faster.  

He tried to avoid their eyes as best as he could despite the voice in his head repeating like a mantra, “You have nothing to be ashamed of. You have nothing to be ashamed of.” Nevertheless, Sunggyu heard the sniggers behind his back and it brought the voice to a halt.

Some, mostly the girls, sent him sympathetic glances, but most seemed to look at him with the same venom they had looked at Sungjong. Shindong turned away as he walked but Heechul glared fiercely Jungsu manager and seemed about to intervene when his leader drew him away with a pointed gaze. Nevertheless, it made Sunggyu’s heart lighten just slightly to see that he had someone still on his side.

They eventually reached the managers’ car and if Sunggyu hadn’t felt so upset at his earlier humiliation, he would have been grateful at the lack of reporters waiting. Jungsu got into the car’s backseat with him while the other  managers got into the front. Sunggyu fastened his seatbelt, feeling his arm throb where the other manager had gripped him. He tried not to frown at Jungsu, reminding himself that any impoliteness would only result in making things worse for Infinite.

The ride to SM’s Headquarters was devoid of talk. Sunggyu closed his eyes and pretended to fall asleep, unwilling to engage in any conversation with Jungsu. He heard Jungsu snort disdainfully before choosing to play with his phone.

Sunggyu half expected to hear Sungyeol’s childish shrieks as he pranked another member, or Sungjong’s outraged yell when Woohyun yet again, or even Dongwoo’s babbling. But everything remained deadly silent, reminding Sunggyu of the quiet that always came before the storm.

He wondered if the ride home for his dongsaengs was just as quiet.

Sungjong was gay and if Sunggyu was honest, deep down he’d already known that. It was his job as the leader to be observant after all, and he’d seen it. He’d seen the innocent wistfulness in Sungjong’s gaze when he looked at Myungsoo, his utter disinterest in y girls...There’d been plenty of signs, and Sunggyu cursed himself for not speaking to Sungjong about this. For not making sure that no signs of it would ever get to the public.

His stomach churned with nerves at the thought of meeting SM’s CEO and likely his entire group of lackeys too. His CEO Jungyeop wouldn’t be there, Sunggyu knew. Jungsu had lied but Younjun, only that day returning from a holiday, hadn’t known that Jungyeop was having an important stomach operation in America that would put him out of commission for weeks.

Which meant that the role of Woolim’s CEO now naturally fell to Sunggyu, and right now, the title felt like a tight band around his throat.

He tried to think of a plan. How was he going to deal with SM’s CEO? How could he convince the man of Infinite’s potential, of Sungjong’s importance to the team? But his thoughts swirled around his head uselessly and by the time they were pulling in at SM’s Headquarters an hour later, Sunggyu felt like a lamb going in for the slaughter. He got out of the car, surprised to see that the sky had darkened with stars already winking down at him. 

“Come on,” Jungsu said. He led the way through a confusing mix of corridor before eventually arriving at a dark grey door labelled “SM CEO – Kim Parksoo”. Jungsu knocked and upon hearing a consenting noise from inside, he opened the door and ushered Sunggyu in.

The CEO’s room was very large and as usual, had the nice modern decorations with a glass wall behind the CEO’s desk. Sunggyu had been right about the CEO’s lackeys being there. They sat, smartly suited, at desks arranged on boths sides of the CEO, almost forming a “U” arrangement.

Sunggyu felt like almost laughing at the layout. It was like he was a prisoner being sent for the gallows in front of a panel of judges. Nevertheless, he bowed deeply from the waist and took his standing position in front of the CEO.

SM’s CEO was around the same age as Jungyeop, with broad shoulders and a surprisingly rugged handsome face. But he’d always remindeded Sunggyu of a snake with his sly, hard eyes and coiled smile that could turn into snarl at any second. It always made Sunggyu lean closer to Jungyeop every time they had a meeting together.

“Well, Sunggyu,” Parksoo sighed exaggerately. “This is a bad turn of matters, isn’t it?”

Sunggyu kept his head down. Don’t backtalk, don’t backtalk, don’t backtalk...

 “An Infinite member. Gay,” Parksoo  shook his head. “I knew that it was a risk to merge with Woolim. They pick up just any rubbish from the streets.”

A sharp pain erupted in Sunggyu’s palm and he realised that he was clenching his fists so tightly that his nails would definitely leave marked indents. The image of Sungjong laughing as he made the other members breakfast flitted through Sunggyu’s head. Rubbish?

“Not you, of course, Sunggyu.” Parksoo smiled but Sunggyu noticed it didn’t reach his eyes. “You know, you’re a good Leader. I can see why Jungyeop puts his trust in you. You’re a man with a fixed goal in his head, and will do whatever it takes to achieve that goal. Right?”

Sunggyu frowned at the floor. “Whatever it takes...” What exactly did Parksoo mean by that?

A man to Parksoo’s side began talking. “Anyway, sasagnim. We haven’t decided when it would be best to reveal it to the press.”

“The quicker, the better,” Parksoo said, sipping at his tea. “Each second the boy remains there, makes the stain on the whole team even darker.”

“And what about their fans, sasagnim?” Another man spoke up from the other side. “What do we inform them.”

“The usual,” Parksoo said with a shrug. “He decided to leave on his own to reflect on his past mistakes. He apologises for being a and will try to change his ways.”

Sunggyu raised his head sharply, trembles flitting down his spine at the implications of what Parksoo said.

“You’re talking about Sungjong leaving Infinite?” Sunggyu asked loudly.

Parksoo frowned. “Well, of course. What else can we do with this scandal?”

“But Sungjong doesn’t want to leave,” Sunggyu said. The queasy feeling in his gut grew and for a second he thought he might throw up. “He can’t leave.”

Parksoo sighed and put his pen down. “Sunggyu, I thought I just only made this clear. He need to go.”

“No,” Sunggyu replied, trying to keep his voice from rising. “You can’t do that. Sungjong is a part of Infinite.”

Parksoo’s grip around the pen tightened so hard that Sunggyu could see the veins in his hand stand out and his knuckles whiten. All traces of affability were wiped from the man’s face, and when he spoke, his words were laced with an undercurrent of darkness. “The gets kicked out. There is no discussion on this matter.”

Sunggyu paused. His heart hammered fast in his ribcage, like a bird trying to break free from this whole damnable situation. He stared at Parksoo who hard eyes stared back at him, daring him to make a decision. For the barest of second, he considered giving in. His shoulders slumped and his back bent. Wouldn’t that be easier? Wouldn’t he be able to escape all the anger and hate directed towards him, towards Infinite as a whole, if he could just let Sungjong go?

Then Sungjong’s face flashed into his mind. Smiling while chatting with Myungsoo as he did the dishes after dinner. Laughing with Dongwoo at Hoya’s rubbish jokes. Scowling at Woohyun and Sungyeol as flour covered his clothes after yet another prank. Crying as the managers scolded him, crying as Infinite won yet another award, crying as he hugged Sunggyu with words of gratitude spilling from his mouth.

Sungjongie.

Infinite’s maknae.

His youngest dongsaeng.

Of course…

Sunggyu shut his eyes and took a deep breath, stiffening his back and tensing his shoulders in preparation of the weight he knew was about to fall on them. Opening his eyes, he gazed directly at Parksoo.

“No. Sungjong stays in Infinite. That’s my final decision.”

Something flew past his head – the pen, Sunggyu could only presume as the sound of a loud crash filled the room. Parksoo had uploaded his table onto the floor, scattering stationery and pieces of paper everywhere as he breathed heavily, the veins in his head engorged. Eyes fixed on Sunggyu, he stalked forwards.

“You damn brat,” he hissed. “Say that again.”

Sunggyu’d never quite realised how tall or broad Parksoo was, and he tried not to back away as the man came closer. There was nothing but pure rage in the crevices of the CEO’s face, and with only Jungsu behind, Sunggyu was cornered. The voice in his head screamed for him to run, but he knew he couldn’t. This had to be settled now.

“Jungyeop CEO is out of commission right now, which means that decisions fall to me,” said Sunggyu, trying to sound assertive.  “Sungjong will stay in Infinite and Woolim will try to damp down the press coverage over this matter.” He looked into Parksoo’s and injected a pleading tone into his voice. “Please try to understand, Infinite is nothing without seven. There needs to be all of us to – “

Pain exploded in the right side of his face, sending him straight to the ground. Dazed, Sunggyu tried to stand but the strength had been sapped from his arms and his knees buckled under the slightest weight. He tasted a coppery tang in his mouth and saw the spots of red adorning the cream carpet. He didn’t move for a few seconds as his mind tried to understand what had just happened. He’d been hit. Parksoo had just backhanded him and Sunggyu wasn’t sure whether he felt more angry or surprised.

Something moved from the corner of his eyes and before he could react, a foot slammed into his side. Sunggyu managed a hoarse, strangled yell as all his breath was driven out of him and he was forced onto his back . Through his blurry vision, he managed to see Parksoo sigh and smoothen his hair and blazer before resting his feet on Sunggyu’s chest.

“You listen here.” Parksoo spoke in a monotone as though he was in a regular board meeting. “I don’t like faggots and I don’t like loss of profits. That girly staying on Infinite is going to bring about a severe loss. Nothing SM couldn’t deal with, but nevertheless…it’s still a fall in our income and in Woolim’s income, of course. You’re a smart boy. Can’t you see that getting rid of him would be in the best interest of everyone?”

Sunggyu’s abdomen hurt so much, even more with the light pressure Parksoo was putting on it with his feet. His mouth felt swollen and his cheek wouldn’t stop stinging. The pain seemed to engulf him and tears prickled at his eyes.

No.

Sunggyu represented every Infinite member, which meant that their strengths –Woohyun’s passion, Dongwoo’s optimism, Hoya’s endurance, Sungyeol’s lightness, Myungsoo’s heart and Sungjong’s love -  their strengths were his too. He was their leader, and he could be brave enough for this.

He bit his lip, refusing to show an ounce of weakness to the despicable CEO, to the rows of suited money hungry bullies sat in the room and smirking at his pain, to Jungsoo who was disinterestedly chewing gum by the door.

“Sungjong stays with us,” he managed to force out, blood speckling Parksoo’s shoe as he spoke.

The CEO’s face hardened again. He reached down and threaded a hand through Sunggyu’s hair. Face scrunched up with pain, Sunggyu was shakily forced to his feet before he was slammed into the nearest wall. Hands wound around his neck and started squeezing, causing Sunggyu to choke and gasp for breath. He clawed at Parksoo’s hands but the man was too strong and with each passing second, Sunggyu could feel his energy depleting. Spots of light danced in front of his vision, seeming to taunt him about his own weakness.

“GET OFF HIM!”

Parksoo’s hands were wrenched off his neck, and Sunggyu found a new, firm yet gentler pair of hands supporting him as he bend his back to cough.

“WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?”

Relief swept through Sunggyu and he leaned more against the tall body holding him. He knew that voice, despite rarely having heard it sound so angry, and a glance up showed him right. Infinite’s manager, Geonam, glared so furiously at the CEO that it was a wonder that Parksoo didn’t combust right there and then.

Parksoo adjusted his tie calmly. “We had a difference of opinion.”

“So you beat him up?” snarled Geonam. “So you were going to kill him?”

Parksoo snorted disdainfully. “I don’t need to speak to you.” He levelled a glower at Sunggyu. “If Sungjong is not off the team by the end of this week, I will be taking special measures.”

Sunggyu didn’t trust himself to reply without sounding pained. Every part of his body ached. He looked back to the floor and waited for Geonam to take him out.

“Jungyeop sasagnim will hear about this,” Geonam said, hate thrumming in his voice.

“I know that Jungyeop is indisposed for at least a month,” said Parksoo. “You won’t tell anybody.”

“Hyung,” Sunggyu whispered before Geonam could retort, “please can we just go?”

Geonam clamped his mouth shut and half carried Sunggyu, using his shoulder to slam into Jungsoo on the way out. Sunggyu was glad that it was already reaching near midnight, which meant that the corridors were mostly empty. He sagged against Geonam as they made their way towards the car, only half listening to the manager’s steam of mumblings.

“ – I knew something was wrong when Youngjun told me that Jungyeol would see you with Parksoo. I tried to get in touch with SM’s receptionist but they wouldn’t answer my calls, and you had your phone off, so I raced down here as fast as I could but…Sunggyu-ah, are you okay?”

“Members,” Sunggyu mumbled as Geonam supported him into the car’s passenger seat. “I just need to see the members.”

Geonam quickly got into the driver’s seat but before he started the engine, he turned to face Sunggyu. “Do we need to go to the hospital?”

“No,” Sunggyu said, glad to find that the bleeding in his mouth had stopped at least. “I just ache – will have bruises for a couple of days. Otherwise, I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, let me just get the first aid kit – “

“Hyung, please. I just want to go home. Really. I’ll get the blood sorted once I’m in my room.”

Geonam hesitated, but probably seeing the stubbornness in Sunggyu’s eyes, he gave in. “You don’t Sungjong to leave the team. That’s why Parksoo beat you.”

Sunggyu sighed and nodded, hating the way his voice broke as he answered. “Yes. I won’t let Sungjongie leave Infinite.”

Geonam stared at him for a few seconds before leaning forward and enveloping him in a hug. Sunggyu stiffened before relaxing into it, finding the adult’s warmth and the gentle hand brushing his hair more comforting than he would ever admit.

“Aigo, our Sunggyu has grown into a man,” Geonam said huskily.

Sunggyu laughed tiredly before pulling back out of the hug and concentrating on fastening his seatbelt.

“Then why do I still feel like a little boy, hyung?”

They reached the high rising flats by 1.30am and it was easy work to bundle Sunggyu inside - especially with the lack of reporters around at that time. Sunggyu sent the manager away once he reached his room’s door.

He paused before opening the door, thoughts of what waited for him swirling in his head. Did the members have a fight about Sungjong’s news? Did they throw things around? Were they all refusing to talk to Sungjong? Would he go in to find Sungjong gone with his things packed up?

Dread coiling in his stomach, he opened the door and went in.

Finding them all sleeping draped around each other like seven years brought a wide smile to his face. He should put more trust in them, he scolded himself. Of course they’d all band together. s’ kindness and compassion had always been one of the reasons he loved them so much.

He went to have a shower and get rid of the blood crusting his chin and neck. A look in the mirror showed bruises around his neck, cheek and abdomen, and Sunggyu rolled his eyes at his reflection, imagining having to explain the marks to the other members the next morning.

Coming back into the living room, he saw Woohyun shiver and hurried to get blankets and pillows for them all, warmth blooming in his chest as he tucked them to sleep. He smoothed Sungjong’s hair behind his ears, smiling as the boy nuzzled sleepily into his hand.

Sunggyu sat on the sofa opposite to watch them for a while, soothing Sungyeol who briefly woke up, before feeling sleep and exhaustion pull at his eyelids.

He tried to keep his eyes open as long as he could so that he could burn the image of them sleeping so peacefully – and safely, with him keeping guard - into his eyes forever, but eventually sleep conquered him too and he fell into a dreamless state where all the pain and pressure seemed to disappear.

Please do leave comments - they always motivate me to work harder and post more chapters! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Next chapter: Woohyun - wherein the meaning of prejudice is harshly taught.