Everything felt quiet with two members missing. And that was strange itself, Myungsoo thought, since technically two of the three quietest members were gone. He sat on Sungjong’s bed with a heavy sigh and leaned his head back against the wall, squinting against the bright sunlight that poured in through the windows. Sungjong’s teddy bear sat next to him, with a mournful expression that seemed to mirror Myungsoo’s feelings.

It had been a week now since Sungjong and Hoya had ran away, and each day that passed by tore at Myungsoo’s insides. Was Hoya okay? Was Sungjong able to get Hoya to a hospital? Were they safe? How were they sleeping? Would the police find them? Too many unanswered questions that hounded Myungsoo’s thoughts even in his dreams.

Nightmares of Hoya gasping in a pool of blood, of Sungjong screaming and being dragged to prison, of the police beating Sungjong up mercilessly...Myungsoo always woke up in a cold sweat and a scream stuck in his throat. He tried not to make a sound, but more than once, he’d jerk up to find Dongwoo patting his back gently or Sungyeol, who now slept with them, pulling him into a tight hug.

Quiet. Too quiet.

Myungsoo sighed and pulled the teddy bear towards him, engulfing it in a tight hug. Infinite had been practically locked in the house for the week, with the police constantly at their doorstep. They had a performance the next day though, and as much as Myungsoo dreaded the looks of distaste he knew they’d receive, it was at least a brief moment of freedom – even if it was just a charity event.

Infinite had done nothing but practice all week. It seemed to help take the members’s minds off Sungjong and Hoya at least. When they were not practicing, they all slept, as though by sleeping, they could take the worry off their minds.

The only member who didn’t sleep was Sunggyu. He sat in the living room with his laptop, seeming to type and read from it endless. Myungsoo managed to sneak a look at the screen once, and found it to be full of law jargon. It seemed like Sunggyu was familiarising himself with Korean’s juridical system. 

“We need to know what we’re up against and how we can protect ourselves,” was Sunggyu’s only reply when Myungsoo questioned him. 

Woohyun occasionally sat up with Sunggyu and tried to read up too, though he almost always fell asleep on Sunggyu’s shoulder, the monotony of the law too boring for him. Myungsoo had tried to do the same too but he eventually ended up sleeping in Sunggyu’s lap and needed to be half carried to his bedroom by Sungyeol.

“What do I do?” muttered Myungsoo, hugging the teddy bear tighter. He missed Sungjong’s presence, even more than he missed Sungjong’s bright smiles, which had grown too absent in the recent weeks.

He could help but feel useless. Sunggyu had a plan, he knew, but the leader had refused the share his plan with the others, and Myungsoo wished that he could help more than show random camera models that hadn’t impressed Sunggyu anyway.

He started as a police car went by, sirens blasting away, and didn’t relax until the car was well away from the road. Just as he was about to drift off to sleep, a raised voice jerked him back up

“Kids, kids, kids!”

Myungsoo hastened to answer Sunggyu’s yell, hearing the other members rush to the living room too. He got there in time to see Sunggyu turn his laptop around the face them.

“Read it,” Sunggyu said with a note of disbelief in his voice.

Myungsoo knelt behind Woohyun and read the article on the screen, feeling his eyebrows raise higher with each word.

“Shinhwa’s Kim Dongwan pledges support to Infinite.

Writing in his blog, the actor and Shinhwa member of eighteen years speaks out against the backlash Korean idol group Infinite has faced since the disclosing of maknae’s, Lee Sungjong’s, uality.

He wrote considerably less than his previous posts, but condensed his opinion succinctly:

“Our children are the future of tomorrow, and they must be protected from bigoted opinions. By turning your back on Lee Sungjong simply because he contains a different type of love within him, you have shown the children just how much they can be hurt for wanting to be who they really are.

I am disappointed both by the Korean entertainment industry and the Korean police system, who are now hunting for Lee Sungjong as though they’re pitiless hounds on a fox’s trail. Even going so far to wound Lee Howon, who was simply putting his dongsaeng’s needs above his. Though I do not, of course, have the full information, I believe that the claim against Lee Sungjong is false. And it hurts my heart that our country seem to take great pleasure in hurting those who do not adhere to its standards.

Lee Sungjong is a son, hyung, dongsaeng and friend, and is loved by many people. He has always been a good hoobae to me, like all of Infinite. The tide of hatred that turned against Infinite truly sickens me.

I am impressed by the continuance of the other Infinite members’ support to Lee Sungjong. They have truly had his back from day one, and I see a lot of the same strong bonds Shinhwa has, paralleled in Infinite.

I hope that Sungjong will return to his court trial and be cleared of all charges. I hope that Infinite will continue to do well in the future. And above all, I hope that Korea would change its toxic mentality against the LGBT community, who may even reside in your home.

The silence that fell was for once, one of amazement.

“Wow,” Sungyeol finally voiced out. “This is huge.”

Myungsoo could only nod his head in agreement. Shinhwa! The sunbaenim that they all idolised more than anyone else, supported them. It brought warmth to his chest and a faint glow of pride as he re-read the article’s lines.

“This could potentially turn more people to our side,” Woohyun said in a hushed voice. “Shinhwa sunbaenim...they’re huge! And they’re adults too!”

“We’re adults,” Dongwoo said, laughingly shoving at Woohyun.

“No, you know, they’re adults adults! They could help gain us some leverage in the variety shows and stuff!”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Sunggyu cut in. He took the laptop back and his expression settled again into one of concentration. “Shinhwa sunbaenim don’t owe us anything. And we need to get Sungjong off the charges first.”

“I wish Sungjong would call us,” Myungsoo said, scooting over to back hug Dongwoo. “So that we can know more about Hoya and whether they’re eating okay.”

“They can’t,” Dongwoo said, an uncharacteristic grimness crossing his face. “The police have the phones monitored. And our mail checked.” He sighed heavily. “But I’m so worried about Hoya too...His father called this morning.”

“Again?” Myungsoo asked. Hoya’s father had nearly screamed Sunggyu’s ear off the first time he called, seven days ago.   Since then, he called every morning to interrogate them on Hoya’s whereabouts. Myungsoo made sure to leave the room each time the phone rang so that he didn’t have to hear the sheer worry and anger in the man’s voice.

“Yeah,” Woohyun sighed. “I answered this time. He really doesn’t believe that we don’t know anything.”

Myungsoo gingerly patted Woohyun’s back. “Let’s just see if there’s any news tomorrow.”

“Back to practice,” Sunggyu said, getting up. “Come on.”

And wincing as his bones and muscles ached in protest, Myungsoo got up and followed.

The charity event was a relatively large one – with the likes of even Super Junior and 2NE1 attending. MYungsoo avoided looking up as walked on the red carpet with the other members. He just hated the scathing looks he knew he and the other members would receive.

And the questions began the moment they posed for the photos. Myungsoo followed Sunggyu’s advice and kept his lips sealed.

“Do you have any idea where Sungjong and Hoya-shi are right now?”

“What are your thoughts on Hoya-shi possibly bleeding out?”

“Sunggyu-shi, do you regret telling Sungjong-shi to run?”

“Myungsoo-shi, what are your thoughts on being presented your award tonight?”

Of course. Though this was a charity show, it was also giving out random awards to celebrities, and he received the email a few days ago informing him that he was awarded with “Best Looking Male Idol”. Remembering that brought a blush to Myungsoo’s cheeks. Why did he just get nominated for such shallow things? Surely, Sungyeol or Sungjong were both just as good looking? Why didn’t people go on about their looks instead of focusing on him all the time?

It wasn’t that he disliked the attention. But sometimes, it felt as though the curvature of his nose brought people more happiness than his words or talents.

The backroom of the stage was surprisingly empty, with most of the other celebrities already sat at their designated tables. There weren’t any specific cubicles for each group, so Infinite found some space in the vast hall to start the preparations for the stage. They were next to BTS, who to Myungsoo’s surprise and pleasure, bowed and greeted them as sunbaenims with wide smiles.

Myungsoo hung back as the rest of the group got stuck in into costume changing and practising. He leaned against a chair, wondering if he had some time to sleep before having to go up, when a voice sounded near his ear, making him jump.

“How’re things going?”

A quick glance to the side revealed it to be Haha, dressed in a suit to play his role of a MC for the charity event.

Myungsoo looked behind him but found to his surprise that there were no members behind him. Haha was talking to him? They’d barely exchanged a word with each other, even during the Running Man episode where they’d been teamed up.

“Things are going okay, hyung,” Myungsoo said quietly. “We’re trying to figure out how to get rid of the charges against Sungjong. Sunggyu hyung is stressing out over it.”

Haha nodded and passed him a small card, his shifty actions almost making him look like a drug dealer on the corner street.

“Take care,” was all Haha said before quickly disappearing into the crowd of people.

Myungsoo’s frown deepened as he turned the card over to find that it was a lawyer’s business card. On the back was a short message. “One of the best lawyers in the country. Running man’s team will take care of the expenses.”

Myungsoo hastened to show Sunggyu, taking pleasure in the widening of the leader’s eyes and the relief in Sunggyu’s shoulders. Sunggyu didn’t smile though, which hurt. Myungsoo couldn’t remember the last time Sunggyu smiled.

“This is great,” Sunggyu said. “But we don’t know if it’s enough.” His mobile phone rang and his expression instantly changed as he checked who it was. “I’ll talk to you later, Myungsoo.”

Myungsoo watched Sunggyu head away to the changing cubicles with narrowed eyes. Since when did Sunggyu have to move away when answering calls? Did he know something about Sungjong? Were they in contact?

It took a moment of deliberation but it wasn’t too hard to decide and Myungsoo was on Sunggyu’s tail within seconds.

It came useful sometimes -  to be almost invisible, Myungsoo decided as he followed Sunggyu into a deserted corridor. Sunggyu entered a changing room but the door was left slightly ajar and Myungsoo found himself able to peer through the tiny gap and see Sunggyu speaking into the phone with a strange smirk on his face which raised the hairs on the back of Myungsoo’s neck.

“Ah, hyung,” Sunggyu said with the almost cute wheedle-like tone he usually used with older men. “I told you I’d keep you updated in case we find out anything, right? Seriously, the hasn’t contacted us at all.”

Myungsoo’s stomach turned, and for a second he almost felt as though he would throw up.

“Why would I hide anything from the great Inspector Xioumin?” Sunggyu laughed and it was the exact same way he laughed around Hyungdon or Jinho. “Really hyung, I’ll call you the first chance I get anything. Howon’s father called again today. It looks like his idiot of a son hasn’t contacted him either. Might be dead for all we know.”

Myungsoo clutched the door’s handle tightly, confusion overwhelming him too much to even be angry. What the hell?

The door creaked slightly and Sunggyu spun around with wide eyes. Myungsoo managed to duck away just in time and within seconds, he was sprinting away from the changing room, weaving through cameramen and ignoring questions flung towards him. His heart wouldn’t stop racing.

The stage went well, though it didn’t feel the same without Sungjong and Hoya. They lacked the fire that had driven them during the last awards ceremony. But they did well anyway, going by the loud applause they received at the end.

After getting changed quickly, they seated themselves at the ceremony’s dinner tables, just in front of the stage. Myungsoo sat next to Sunggyu, hoping to gain some sort of hint about the conversation he overheard. But Sunggyu’s face was completely impassive, though he sent Myungsoo a quizzical look when the younger stared at him for too long.

Myungsoo didn’t know what to think. Why would Sunggyu be associating with the horrible police officer? Why would he throw Sungjong and Hoya under the bus like that? Myungsoo didn’t even have the appetite to eat.

He stared at the large screen fixed discreetly above the audience’s heads. It was set on the news channel, occasionally interrupted by advertising. Myungsoo stared at it, wishing for some good news for once.

Sistar, F(X), MBLAQ all performed before the prize giving began, and Myungsoo felt a coil of dread twist in his stomach as Park Myungsoo and Jang Dongmin came up as the MCs. They presented a variety of different prizes before finally reaching the prize Myungsoo had his name for.

“Ah, our Infinite,” Dongmin said with a wide smile. “The group without a scandal so far simply exploded this year, didn’t they?”

“Exploded right out of the closet?” Park Myungsoo laughed.

Myungsoo narrowed his eyes as scattered laughter broke out from around them. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Woohyun’s hand on the table clench into a fist. Dongwoo had the expression of a wounded puppy, while Sungyeol and Sunggyu kept their faces blank, though Myungsoo could see the anger simmering in their eyes.

“Who would have thought huh? That there was a girl in the group all along?” Dongmin grinned. “I knew there was a reason why my heart beat so fast when I looked at him.”

It was almost laughable how wrong their jokes were, but that wasn’t the reason the audience laughed, Myungsoo could see. They laughed purely because they found the idea of a gay idol hilarious. Myungsoo gritted his teeth as the two MCs made another barrage of jokes about Sungjong and one about Hoya trying to act the knight in shining armour, before finally calling on Myungsoo to receive his prize.

Myungsoo walked up to the stage, bowing rigidly as he accepted the prize. He could hear the blood rushing in his ears as he stared at the audience with distaste. All those who had laughed at the so called jokes cruelly aimed to degrade Sungjong’s reputation even more...

“Thank you all for this award, especially to our Insprits, who always stands by me and the other members.” Myungsoo waited for the cheering to die down before continuing. “We are hurting tonight because two of our members are not with us. We truly believe that the charges against our maknae are false.”

Murmurs began in the audience. Myungsoo coloured slightly as he realised that what sounded cool in his head probably didn’t translate to cool when saying it after receiving a handsomeness award. But he’d already started, he might as well finish.

“There’ve been many mean spirited jokes tonight,” Myungsoo said quietly. “I hope that those who criticise can find it within them to reflect on their bigotry because – “ Myungsoo’s voice cracked, and he flushed as some sniggered. “Because Sungjong doesn’t deserve it...I’m not angry. I’m just – “ His voice grew thick but he pushed himself to go through, “ I’m just sad.”

He looked towards the tables housing Super Junior, Big Bang and a number of other idols. “Because Sungjongie – he really looks up to you all. He loves all of you. If he’s watching this now, it must hurt him so much that the people he idolises...are laughing at him like this.”

Myungsoo could feel the tears pooling at the base of his eye. He bit his lower lip as the faces of the audience stared back at him blankly. What was he doing? Why was he embarrassing himself like this?

He looked to where the members were sat and relief bloomed in his chest to see most of them smiling at him fondly. Woohyun rolled his eyes and made a gesture of his hand to wave him over. Come back here, pabo.

Myungsoo sniffed. “Ah, yes...sorry...Thank you.”

Only the Inspirits sitting at the far right side clapped and cheered, and Myungsoo wondered whether his face had gone completely red as he bowed quickly and hurried back to his seat. Whispers reached his ears but he ignored it until another gasp echoed around the large hall, prompting him to stop and look at where everyone else was looking.

He stared at the news screen above the audience stands, and an incredulous laugh burst out of him.

The news title was bolded at the bottom of the screen. “An Inspirit receives a subtle picture through her mailbox, which she posted online.”

The picture mentioned filled the tv’s screen. A close up of Sungjong and Hoya. Hoya with a cast and a bandage supporting his wounded arm. He was grinning and had his uninjured arm around Sungjong’s shoulders. Sungjong looked worrying skinnier, but almost content and at peace as he smiled at the camera. They seemed to be lying on a blue bed, going by the dark blue background, but nothing else could be derived from the photo.

They were okay, Myungsoo thought with a sigh. They were okay and more than that, they were healthy and looked safe and comfortable.

It was more than he could ever expect and he couldn’t hold back the tears of relief that streamed down his face. He quickly looked back at the members, eager to see their reactions. Woohyun, Dongwoo and Sungyeol looked close to tears themselves, gripping each other’s arm or hand tightly.

Myungsoo shifted his gaze to Sunggyu and felt his heart sink to see the leader’s eyes narrowed and his face solemn.

As though this wasn’t good news.

As though he hated the two boys on the screen.

Myungsoo bit his lip hard, almost expecting blood to fill his mouth.

If Infinite couldn’t trust their leader, then what even was Infinite anymore?

I’m back! Don’t even ask about exams *shudders*.

Please, please, please share your opinions and comment! I feel like readers are starting to lose interest =( There four chapters left till the story ends! Thank you to all those who've commented so far! 

Next chapter: Sunggyu: Wherein trust is found and lost and abused.