Sungjong smiled at his reflection at the mirror, ignoring the playful scoff his makeup artist made. He looked good, though he did say so himself. Their new concept demanded a more bubbly appearance and with his slightly longer caramel hair and bright clothes, he fitted the concept to a boot.

“Hey! What’re you doing staring in the mirror? Hyung looks better you know!”

A hand clamped onto his shoulder as another hand started tickling his stomach. Sungjong shrieked in protest and tried to wriggle away, almost swatting the makeup artist in the face. He couldn’t stop the giggles that bubbled up in him as he tried to dislodge the devilish hands.

“Woohyun ah! Let Sungjong go! You’re going to mess up his make up.”

The Leader’s voice rang out and Sungjong sighed in relief as the pressure on his shoulder disappeared. He swivelled around to glare at his mischievously grinning hyung.

“Aigoo, our Sungjongie’s annoyed,” said Woohyun. He wriggled his fingers threateningly. “Would you like hyung to cheer you up?”

“Ah hyung, leave me alone. I need to finish my makeup!” Sungjong cursed at how Woohyun was always the first to get ready. “Or I’ll tell Sunggyu hyung!”

Woohyun pouted and Sungjong saw him glance over to where their Leader was absorbed in a conversation with Super Junior’s Shindong. Sunggyu was laughing at something Shindong said, his face looking lighter than it ever had during any of their previous comebacks.

Of course, with this being their seventh comeback, the nerves that had constantly hounded them during “Dashidorawa” were long gone. Now they had the support of their ever growing fans, huge businesses and their company’s influence. It was strange to think that a few years ago, they were begging for the chance to even appear on a variety.

“Get ready quickly then! If you force the mirror to see you face any longer – it’ll break!” Woohyun tapped Sungjong’s nose. He seemed about to say more – presumably something that would make Sungjong want to hit him – when Dongwoo’s loud voice resounded throughout the dressing room, prompting Woohyun to go bound over to his usual partner in crime. A few seconds later, Woohyun’s laughter rang out in time with Dongwoo’s. Sungjong shook his head fondly. He sat back in his seat and allowed the artist to continue doing his face.

“Woohyun hyung’s in a good mood,” a deep voice sounded from the chair next to him.

“Aren’t we all?” Sungjong asked and Hoya grinned back. There’d been questions as to whether the new fresh and bubbly concept would suit Hoya, but looking at the boy now, Sungjong had to say it definitely did. Hoya’s hair was stylishly ruffled and he was smiling wide enough to show the dimples in his cheeks. His shoulders were relaxed – finally free of the burden he always seemed to carry before.

Lightness hung in the air. The fact that their music video had already hit a million views despite being released just last midnight, the fact that they could hear the fans chanting their band’s name in the distance, the fact that this was fresh off yet another successful concert tour they did last month. The future looked bright, Sungjong concluded, and he couldn’t wait for their Music Bank stage.

 Just another hour and he’d be singing to the fans alongside his stage brothers.

And was there ever anything that could make him happier?

                                                                                *************

His makeup finished just as Jungryul manager told them to get outside for a mini interview. Sungjong hurried out but was significantly slowed down when Myungsoo enveloped him into a tight back hug. 

“Sleepy,” Myungsoo muttered, leaning his forehead against Sungjong’s shoulder.

“Better not let Gyu hyung catch you yawning,” Sungjong whispered back, dislodging Myungsoo as he bowed to some MBLANQ members walking by. “He’d call us into his room again for another lecture.”

Myungso made a high pitched non committal sound before shaking his head vigorously. Sungjong suppressed a giggle. The sight was endearing, despite Myungsoo’s weirdness, which Sungjong was all too well acquainted to by now.

He was disappointed to see that the interviewer was Kim Gura. The man did not like him, Sungjong was sure. Ever since his girl group dance challenge where he lay down on Gura’s table, the man had never shied away from putting in a cutting comment about him.

“Here we have Infinite!” Gura yelled, putting a familiar arm around Dongwoo’s shoulder.

“Annyohaessayo, we are Infinite!” Sungjong bowed in time with the members, making sure to grin brightly at the camera first. He noticed the other idol boy group standing by the side, presumably already having been interviewed by Gura. “Hunters” was the group’s name. A new group released by SM only a month ago.

“You have a new song today. What’s it about?” Gura asked.

“Our new song is called “Your Smile” and is coming out tomorrow,” Sunggyu started off the introduction energetically. “It’s about us trying to cheer up the person we love and wanting them to smile honestly and brightly! We hope that everyone will show it a lot of love!”

Sungjong found his attention drifting though he made sure to keep his smiling mask firmly in place and nodded every time the other members did. It was rare that he got to speak in group interviews such as these, especially if someone like Gura headed the interview. And as Hoya demonstrated the point dance of the song, Sungjong’s gaze wandered and landed on the new idol group.

Hunters...Sungjong remembered watching the Weekly Idol episode Hunters had appeared in – supposedly the name was to signify that the group was hunting for success and perfection all the time. It was still a strange name, Sungjong mused, though no stranger than the groups made up of random alphabet letters he supposed.

 And looking at the seven Hunter members, fresh faced and thirst for success clear in their eyes...Sungjong could understand the concerns Sunggyu had vocalised a few days ago. The group was on the whole younger, fresher faced and their growing reputation of synchronization did leave a bitter taste in his mouth. Infinite was known for their synchronization. It wouldn’t do for a new group to come and grab their title.

A slight pinch to Sungjong’s side had him straightening his back instantly, though he made sure to retaliate, resulting in Sungyeol’s snigger quickly changing into a sharp gasp.

“Okay, the first challenge!” Gura waved a pack of cards. “Which group can get ten post stick notes from one side to the other using only your mouths.”

Sungjong resisted the urge to roll his eyes. They’d done this before on Weekly Idol – with a nonchalance that had surprised both MCs. But really, what was there to be embarrassed about. They were Infinite. They’d shared blood, sweat and tears together for so many years to get to where they finally were. Passing a card from mouth to mouth was nothing, and Sungjong caught himself from smirking at the discomfort clearly written on Hunters’ faces.

“Ah wait a minute, what will we get if we win?” Sunggyu asked with mock seriousness.

“Hyung, then you get the pride of winning!” Woohyun swatted at Sunggyu’s arm.

“What’s wrong with you, hyung?” Hoya added. “This is a matter of our group’s dignity.”

“Yeah, hyung, how could you think of a prize at a time like this!” Sungjong added, laughing as Sunggyu raised his hands in defeat. The bullied Leader was a concept that the fans never tired of, and truthfully, Sungjong thought he could get used to it for a long time to come.

They subtly arranged themselves in their couples order, with Myungsoo in the middle of Sungyeol and Sungjong at the end of the lineup. Sungjong picked a card from the plate and its middle into his mouth before turning to the side, ready to begin and trying to fight the giggles at the sight of Myungsoo waiting for the card cross eyed. Gura and Sunggyu exchanged some banter before Gura raised the flag up –

“Stop!”

Sungjong let the card in his mouth fall to the ground as he turned to see manager Youngjun racing towards them before coming to a breathless stop.

“Infinite....” he gasped in some air. “You’re performing now.”

Sunggyu stepped forward out of the camera’s range to whisper, “But hyung, we’re supposed to be on after F(X) and they’re not even on yet – “

“Now, Sunggyu!” Youngjun yelled and Sungjong shrunk behind Myungsoo at the coldness in Youngwon’s voice. Though shortly tempered, the manager was usually one of the kindest, with a soft spot towards Sunggyu that the other members usually teased about.

Sunggyu was open mouthed for a full second before he seemed to recover himself. He bowed slightly to the manager and fully towards Gura.

“Sorry Mr Gura, we have to be going now...” Sunggyu jerked his head to the other members before heading towards the staircase leading to the stage, where crew members were waiting with earpieces and mics. They were fitted within half a minute before ascending the stairs leading to the stage.

A prickling started at the back of Sungjong’s neck and on the last step before the stage, he turned to see manager Youngjun staring right at him. Sungjong’s breath caught in his throat, cold sweat suddenly prickling at his skin. He furrowed his eyebrows at the manager, trying to ask an invisible question but the curtains were quickly drawn and Sungjong was suddenly in front of the mass of chanting fans. In – fi – nite! In – fi – nite! In – fi – nite!

Sungjong adjusted his mic with shaking hands, wishing he could have a drink of water to counter the sudden dryness in his mouth. Running on auto instincts, he took his position. The music started. And Sungjong started to dance.

“I know it’s hard,

It feels like the world is crumbling down,

But I’m right here beside you,

So my love smile, please”

But Sungjong couldn’t smile properly, no matter how hard he tried. Youngjun’s face kept pushing the forefront of his mind, building a lump of dread to building heavily in his stomach and causing his voice to falter.

Because in the last eight years that he’d know the manager.

Never before had Sungjong seen him look so utterly horrified.

“I won’t let go of your hand,

I won’t leave you behind,

So my love, don’t frown so hard,

Just smile, please smile”

Was it his fault? Did he do something to put that look of horror on the manager’s face? To schedule Infinite for an earlier performace?

Sungjong found himself wishing that the song would never end, that their stage would never end. That he could keep dancing and singing with the members for infinity. His instincts had never proved him wrong before – when he decided to be a Woolim trainee, when he was told he was joining a group of six boys, when he signed the final contract. No. His instincts had never been wrong before and now, every single one of them was screaming that something bad was going to happen.

 Dongwoo began the last rap, swatting Sungjong’s as he confidently sidled by. It was probably a cue for Sungjong to smile more, but Sungjong couldn’t. And as he passed Sunggyu and Woohyun, he saw that their smiles were fixed too.

So they’d noticed what he’d noticed.

The change had happened gradually but it was definitely there. The fans who’d been roaring at the start of their songs had slowly grown quieter. Some of them were whispering amongst each other, some were reading their phones with shocked eyes, some wearing other idol groups’ logos were starting to laugh derisively. Sungjong caught a fan’s eye and the look of apprehension she sent him made the knot of dread in his gut tighten.

The stage finally ended, and instead of applause, they were greeted with a shocked silence. Sungjong felt tears sting his eyes as he bowed and left with the other members. This was not supposed to be what happened. The new song had been to commemorate fans, get the fans to share in their joy and love. But instead...

 “Infinite, please leave the stage.” A female voice spoke through their earpieces.

Sungjong hesistated. A strange part of him wanted to yank the microphone from Woohyun’s hand and ask the fans what was the matter. But he quelled the urge and followed his hyungs out silently to backstage.

“What was that?” Sungyeol mumbled. “Some of them looked angry at us.”

The butterflies in Sungjong’s stomach had turned to snakes and he felt as though he was going to throw up. Something had happened. Something had happened and it was his fault, though he didn’t have any idea what he’d done.

“Quiet,” said Sunggyu. His face was carefully composed to be blank of emotions. “Walk quickly. Get to our dressing room. Now.”

The urgency in Sunggyu’s voice scared Sungjong somewhat and he quickened his steps. He followed behind Sungyeol, who seemed to sense his fear and pulled him closer to his side.

The openly hostile stares of the backstage crew send alarms off in Sungjong’s head. A Big Bang’s member walked past, giving them a wide berth and ignoring Sunggyu’s quick bow. All around them, Sungjong spied looks of the disbelief and disgust and heard snide mutterings. One of Hunter’s members lounging against the wall sent Sungjong a wide smirk that caused his heart rate to quicken.

After what felt like a lifetime, they reached the dressing room. Inside, the managers were waiting, faces white and pinched. The makeup crew were sat around the room, some playing with their hands, and most with their heads bowed. Sungjong spotted his makeup noona but she refused to meet his eyes.

“Hyung,” Woohyun ventured as Hoya barred the door behind them. “What’s going on?”

Hyoan and Jungryoul managers had their heads bowed and it was Youngjun who silently walked up to Sungjong and handed him a newspaper. Sungjong took hold of it with trembling hands. He didn’t dare look down and instead tried to gain a clue from the manager’s face. He must have looked a pitiable sight. But Youngjun’s face did not soften.

“Read it,” he ordered.

Sungjong swallowed hard and looked down. It took him a while to focus on the words and picture, but he finally read it.

No.

Sungjong stared at the big picture, willing his eyes to be playing tricks on him, willing it all to just be a dream. But it was real. It was all real, from the gasps of the members around him, to the bang of a chair being thrown at the wall by the manager, to the faintness that hit him.

No, no, no, no, no, no –

He stared at the picture of him (a lifetime ago in his high school uniform, years and years ago) gently cradling another boy’s head as they kissed (and he can still remember the warmth of the kiss, the tingling that lasted for hours later). He stared at the heading and really, he should have seen this coming. He should have known that the happiness that always left him so full of wonder would never have lasted. He should have known.

“Infinite’s GAY member Sungjong finally found out!”