POSTED LOVE

IV

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Soojung and Taemin were making out on Taemin’s motorcycle. Beer cans littered the floor, along with used cigarettes. She was on his lap as they continued their messy lip-lock, their hands on each other’s bodies.

In all honesty, Jongin and Soojung never even got past chaste kisses. There may have been a few times Soojung wanted to use her tongue, but Jongin didn’t like the idea; he liked normal kisses just fine. It’s not like he was against heated make-out sessions, it’s just that he much preferred kissing with the lips. Maybe he would have considered french kissing once or twice, but the thing was, they weren’t even “officially” together yet, so he thought he could wait until that happened before succumbing to Soojung’s wishes.

But obviously, all thoughts of making her his girlfriend was flushed down the drain the moment he saw Soojung and Taemin kissing like no tomorrow.

Jongin had never known heartbreak before. 

Sure he didn’t love her yet, but he did really like her. He had never cared for someone like this, and he even gave her his first kiss. He thought they had something special, and that it had the potential to grow into something much more beautiful. He genuinely cared for her, and sometimes thought of a future with her.

He was hurt to see her like this. With someone else that wasn’t him. He could still remember how Soojung told him he was handsome, how they shared little kisses that made his heart flutter. Her smile was the morning sun, and her eyes like shining stars. Was he the only one who took this somewhat-relationship seriously? Was he the only one who wanted to take it further? Was he the only one who really cared?

“S-soojung?” Jongin called out, voice trembling.

The bouquet of flowers was still in his hand; the card he wrote heavy in his grasp.  

He needed to know; he needed to hear her say she was committing a mistake. Jongin wanted Soojung to say that these three months meant something to her, and that she was ready to have Jongin hold her hand every day; to say she was finally his and only his. That this, what she’s doing with Taemin, was all a misunderstanding.

Soojung and Taemin stopped kissing at the sound of Jongin’s voice. They both looked at him, without even regret or remorse in their eyes for being caught the way they were.

“Do you know him?” Taemin asked Soojung. He recognized Jongin from the dance club, but that was all he knew.

 Jongin bit his lip as he nervously awaited Soojung’s response. He waited for her to get up, so they could leave together and forget this thing ever happened. So they could go back to normal, and maybe, there would still be a chance for things to work out between them.

Soojung eyed the flowers and the card, then she looked Jongin in the eyes.

“No, I don’t know him. Maybe he’s from the dance club or something.”

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Jongin cried a river and skipped school the entire day. Junmyeon and Minseok heard what happened, but couldn’t just leave school because of commitments and responsibilities. Sehun, on the other hand, gladly skipped school and brought Jongin to an ice cream shop.

After Soojung had mentioned that she didn’t know Jongin, the tanned male was confused, sad, angry, and broken all at the same time. To make things worse, Soojung and Taemin continued making out like no one was there.

Jongin fled from the scene, heart heavy, bouquet thrown in the trash, and card ripped into shreds.

Sehun tried to his best to comfort him, and it was so terribly hard to see Jongin this way. He knew that girl was bad news right from the start, but he wasn’t able to prevent this from happening; he couldn’t save Jongin. The tanned male told him it wasn’t his fault.

“I… should have secured her before any of this happened,” Jongin sighed.

“Actually, I think your pacing was right. You didn’t rush the relationship and took your time to get to know her better, before considering making a commitment,” Sehun rubbed the other’s back soothingly.

“But Sehun… I lost her. I was waiting for the right moment, and on the way, she went to somebody else… have I… not been enough?”

“Now Jongin, you know this isn’t your fault. Don’t blame yourself.”

“… If only I took that cigar she was offering… maybe she wouldn’t have left me if I started smoking too.”

“Jongin, you know what that stuff does to people. Trust me, you made the right choice. So don’t worry about this anymore, okay? You’ll be alright. You’re going to find someone new, and things will turn out well. It’ll be okay… you’ll be okay. ”

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“How do you mend a broken heart?”- Anonymous

It was the first question he’d ever written to D.O. in the last three months.

The next day, Jongin tried texting and calling Soojung to confront her about what happened with Taemin. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he couldn’t forget about her. She was his first something after all, whatever she was; she was for certain, more than a friend at least. Jongin didn’t sleep a wink last night wondering if he’d have joined Taemin in the dark side, if that would have changed anything. It kept bothering him, he was new to this after all—to liking someone. He couldn’t help but blame his inexperience.

When Jongin went to drop his question in the Ask Box, he found it wasn’t there.

He asked the student council, and it turns out D.O. won’t be taking queries for a while as he was busy with academic requirements.

When Soojung didn’t pick up her phone, Jongin decided he would go to her class and talk with her personally. He had only been there once or twice before, briefly too; Soojung and he always separated to go to their own classes since it was far apart.

Making his way to the other end of the corridor, he finally saw the room in sight. Just as he was nearing the class, Soojung walked out together with two of her friends. They didn’t notice Jongin, as they were facing the opposite direction from him.

He quickened his steps, reaching out a hand to place it on her shoulder.

He was about to call out to her, but then, Soojung began to speak.

“F***, I can’t believe that guy. Seriously, Taemin and I were making out, then Jongin came and made the whole mood awkward for about five minutes. The guy even had flowers and a card.”

“Isn’t he one of your play things?”

“Yeah, but he’s been getting boring. It’s been three months already, and we haven’t even gone past chaste kissing. The guy’s such a baby; his face is such a waste.”

“Maybe he wanted to wait until guys became official or something. Some guys are like that, from what I’ve heard.”

“Eww. Did he really think I was attached to him that way? I just needed someone to use so I could avoid creepers and stalkers during break and on my way home. Taemin’s more my style; I’m finally letting out my rebellious chic demeanor. Playing a good girl gets old; it’s time I break the innocent and sweet persona.”

“Wait, so he never found out that you were seeing three other guys when you were with him?”

“Yeah, I mean, our classes are far from each other. I made sure I chose guys who he rarely got to see. Nickhun’s class is a floor below, Myungsoo’s class is a floor above, and Joon is in our class. It was full proof, Jessica unni taught me all her tactics.”

“Wow, cool. You’re an authentic player, Soojung!”

“So what are you going to do about Jongin?”

“Well, it’s kind of awkward now. I think I’ll just ignore him and pretend I don’t know him.”

Jongin returned with his questions every day, hoping the Ask Box would be back. Hoping that D.O. could give him an answer, like he usually did. Even though his friends offered all their comfort and sympathetic words, Jongin wanted D.O.’s. The guy had been giving him the best advice all this time, and he wouldn’t settle for anyone else. But the Ask Box was never brought out, even until the end of the year.

Just when Jongin really needed it.

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The tanned male struggled with his broken heart, and he eventually quit the dance club because he couldn’t stand seeing Soojung and Taemin together. True to her word, Soojung walked around school like Jongin never existed; like nothing ever happened between them. She would pass by him at the main hall sometimes, not even sparing a glance. By this time, rumors had spread and apparently, she and Taemin have done more than just kissing. Much much more.

Soon, more questions formed in Jongin’s head: Why did he deserve this? Why did she play with his heart? Was he not good enough to be loved? Was he not worthy? If he got his feelings played so easily, would anyone learn to love him? Could he trust someone with his heart again?

How could she even do that to him? That b****! Was she a s*** or something!? A freakin’ w****!? F*** her!

Do… broken hearts ever get fixed?

Or does putting the pieces back together result in an uglier version of the original? Cracks, tears, and scratches visible?

Was it even worth fixing?

The blames came by like a hurricane, all of it self-inflicted. Jongin was sad for a whole week, and angry the next. He was in between those two emotions, and he couldn’t seem to make up his mind. His parents found out the situation through his friends, and they tried their best to cheer him up. Everyone did. But it was an internal conflict that only Jongin himself could solve.

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On a Wednesday afternoon, Jongin happened to pass by Wu Yifan; one of the boys in school who turned from good to bad because of Taemin’s influence. He used to be president of the computer club, but was now a thug. The guy seemed like he was heading somewhere, and suddenly Jongin’s old curiosity rose up, so he followed the guy.

Yifan entered an alley just outside the school, a few blocks ahead. Jongin saw that there were others there as well: Huang Zitao, the boy who was formerly in charge of the school’s garden, but was now some black-belter. And Jonghyun, respectful and polite valedictorian of his class, now a rich bad boy who was into some shady business.

No one knew what. Jongin was about to find out.

“Hey kid. Want to get high?”

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Author's note:

Eyo! Fourth chapter is up :)

Also, good news! Kyungsoo shall be in the next chapter! (I'm sorry for making you guys wait, ahahaha)

Comments are appreciated! And a big thank you to the upvoters!  

KkamJongMin1314, luchia1199, Jasmineflo, chewybangbang, soolover, heart4u, gaianerd, kaisoo_brownies

You guys made me so happy :) 

Also thanking nicoleeemusic98 for correcting me in this chapter! I almost put Junmyeon in Jonghyun's role, forgetting the guy was already friends with Jongin :p Thank you for correcting me!

If you guys see any errors at all, don't hesitate to let me know so I can fix it :) Thanks for reading!

Laters~