Confusion and Doubt

Seung Hyun barely slept the night after his trip with Sandy. He tossed and his bed, kicking the blanket off of him. He ruffled his hair in frustration. His mind would go back to that moment when he kissed her. How could he be so selfish? He kissed her and yet he longed for someone else. It’s his mind playing tricks on him. He knew that it was Sandy he was with but her resemblance to Dara just made him miss his dead girlfriend even more.  Or was he starting to have feelings for Sandy too.

He raked his hand through his hair. One thing is for certain he made Sandy feel bad and he has to apologize to her no matter what. He closed his eyes hoping that he could finally go to sleep.

The next day he tried calling Sandy. She agreed to meet him for dinner.

They sat quietly across from each other. She busied herself with cooking samgyupsal over the grill.

“I’m sorry about last night,” Seung Hyun said.

“Hmmm,” she shook her head. “I understand, I remind you so much of my sister because we look alike. We’re twins after all. I also know that you probably miss her so badly,” she said trying to sound cheerful.

“You are still two different people. It’s wrong of me to mistake you for your sister. I think you’re a wonderful person. You don’t deserve to be mistaken for someone else,” he told her.

“It doesn’t really matter. You can pretend that she’s me if it comforts you in some way,” she muttered as she started cutting the pork.

“I won’t do that. You are you and Dara is someone else. You’re two unique individuals and you don’t have to play the part of your sister to get along with me or my friends. We like you Sandy for who you are, not just because you’re Dara’s twin,” he said.

“If you say so but enough of that, here have some,” she said as she put meat on his rice.

Seung Hyun put some meat for her too. They enjoyed having dinner together they talked about what he’s been busy with and her plans while she’s in Korea.

“My brother is visiting next week. He’s probably going to convince me to go back home,” Sandy said. “They’re worried sick that I might do something crazy again.”

“Like hurting yourself,” Seung Hyun asked. He was trying to sound casual but the look on his face betrayed him.

Sandy showed her scarred wrist. “You noticed. I guess I can’t really hide it. These were from when I was younger. I haven’t done anything stupid in a long while,” she tried to reassure him. “I think I’ve grown a back bone already. I don’t easily self-destruct now as I did before.”

“Just remember that you’re not alone. I’m here for you if you need a friend,” he assured her. He meant what he said. He wanted to protect her from hurting herself. It’s not just because she’s Dara’s sister but because she’s a genuinely nice person.

“Thank you I’m glad to hear that. I wish I could stay here much longer. I want to know you guys more. Maybe I can learn something about myself too,” she said.

“So what have you been up to while you’re here?” He asked.

“My cousin lets me work in her flower shop and I’m enjoying myself a lot. It’s kind of comforting to be surrounded by beautiful things and happy people,” she replied. “The other day I made a flower arrangement for a proposal. I love how the guy gave us a lot of details about what his girlfriend wants.”

Seung Hyun smiled at the thought of her doing the flower arrangement. He was happy that she’s adjusting well and that she’s having a good time with what she’s doing.

The two would meet almost every day. Sandy is quite thankful to have gained a friend in Seung Hyun. And all the time spent with him and his friends are like treasures she will be keeping even when she goes back to her old life.  

“Why don’t you just stay here?” Bom said earnestly as she holds Sandy’s hand. “You can stay in my apartment. We’ll help you find a permanent job or you can go back to studying or both.”

“I haven’t decided on anything yet. For now I’m happy that I can spend some time with you all,” Sandy replied.

“Hyung will be sad again once you leave,” Seungri said. “It would be like losing Dara-noona all over again.”

Chaerin elbowed Seungri. The latter could only wince in pain.

“I’m sure he’s going to be missing you Sandy,” Chae corrected him.

“It’s ok. I’m her twin after all. I’m just happy that my being here somehow comforts you guys. I know you miss my sister and I’m grateful for all the kindness you showed me. I know part of it is because I’m her sister and she’s a very important person to you guys.”

“We really like you too Sandy-unni. It’s not just because of Dara-unni. We love her but you’re a good friend to us too,” Minzy said as she gave Sandy a hug.

“And you just don’t know how you’ve helped change Seung Hyun’s mood. He barely even meets us but since you came here. He’s been spending more time with us. He also smiles a lot lately. He looks happier,” Bom said.

Sandy couldn’t help but smile. She’s grateful for their kindness too her and she can’t help but be more affectionate to them. She’s glad to have met wonderful people while in the quest of learning more about her twin and maybe it’s a little bonus that she’s learning to love herself.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A week later

"Oppa!" Sandy called out to her older brother who just arrived at the airport. 

Her brother waved at her and motioned her to meet him at the exit. She ran and went there to greet him.

"Sandy I missed you!" Her brother said and gave her a hug.

"I missed you too oppa," she exclaimed. "How are appa and eomma?"

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