I wasn’t normal, that’s my first thought when I got understanding of the world. I drank blood while normal people ate food. I was killing normal people for my living. I thought I was a parasite when I was five but my older brother said I wasn’t. We’re just different, that’s all.

We needed to survive. It’s like nature order; the strong preyed on the weak. I trust my brother a lot, he one of the reason I was having a very bright childhood. He would protect me from world cruelest things. At least he tried.

I was seventeen when I met a person that changed my life forever. That time there was no car or motorcycle, I used to go into his place by foot. I didn’t mind, such distance wouldn’t make me tired. He was normal people; he was human. Yet, he was so interesting, so different from others.

I was having my teenager crush and enjoying every moment of it. Eventually, he found out I wasn’t normal. He was shocked at first but he didn’t hate me. He said he would need to time to adjust and he did. He accepted me for who I was. He loved me for what I was as I loved him with all my heart.

Somehow, my parents found out about him. They threatened me to leave him or they would kill him. Vampire, especially pure blood like me couldn’t have any relationship with a human, they said. I was devastated when they locked me up. 

It was weird; they never cared about me or my brother. They’re busy blood-partying with their long-lasting life forever. It was like they didn’t even plan to have me or my brother. Their world only consisted of themselves. I didn’t hate them because even though they’re like that, they’re the one who brought me to this world.

While being locked up, my older brother was my only salvation. He would talk to me and asked what I wanted to say to him. My brother became like a messenger of our words for a while. After my parents convinced I broke my relationship with him, they let me out. I immediately went to his place when I was released.

What I saw shocked the hell out of me. He had aged, he had wife and kids. He didn’t wait for me like he said he would. Comparing myself to him, I was still like a teenager when I fell in love with him. Why? Why I had to be not normal? I hated myself.

I eventually left him; I loved him enough to wish he could live happily in his short life. Human’s life was short compared to mine. That was when I realized how true my parents’ words. They’re trying to protect me. Maybe they cared about me a little.

I tried to move on with my life but I couldn’t forget him. Sometime my brother would comfort me when I drifted to my sadness and loneliness. He was gone, he eventually died and I still couldn’t forget my love for him.

It was a lonely day like always. I was walking around my home, which actually was a castle. My parents put spell so human wouldn’t find it. Then, I saw my brother was talking to my parents. They’re like having a real serious conversation. Curiosity got me and I hid my presence as I listened to their every words.

“I can’t believe Changmin still can’t get over that human,” my mother said.

“I’m sorry, mother,” my brother said,” I am at fault. I was acting like their messenger when Changmin was locked up. It was all a lie; I just wanted to cheer Changmin up. I never actually contacted that human, only once. He was still waiting for Changmin like a fool and I decided to tell him that Changmin had met his other half, a same pure blood like him.”

“No, Yunho. You’re doing it on our order,” my father spoke,” You’re a good son and a good brother. You have no fault in this.”

I couldn’t believe what I just heard. It had to be a lie. My brother would never lie to me. He wouldn’t! I screamed in my head as I ran away. I needed to get out of here. I couldn’t stay in this nightmare anymore.

I ran and ran until I didn’t know what was happening anymore. I picked an abandoned farming tool and cut myself. It was hard because it wasn’t pure silver but I managed to do it. It hurts, this wasn’t a dream. It’s reality. I was living a dream until now. 

Time passed and when I came back to my sense, Yunho hyung was in front of me, asking what was wrong. I didn’t reply, just hid my face behind my knees. He sat next to me.

“Changmin ah, talk to me like you always did. I will help you if you have a problem,” he said.

Liar, I wanted to say to him. Instead I just looked at him on eyes. He was still the same. Those dazzling brown innocent eyes staring at me as his attention were all on me. He loved me and I knew he was protecting me from the cruelest truth. Yunho hyung wasn’t at fault. He was being used by my parents. The one at fault was them.

“Hyung,” I finally spoke,” Can vampire turn into human?”

My question made him shocked. After a few seconds, he shook his head. He told me there’s no history of vampire turned into human. His history knowledge was outstanding and I believed him. At least I would, if only I didn’t know he had been lying to be all the time. He might just not be able to tell me because our parents forbid it. I still didn’t blame him though.

Time passed and I had finally moved on. I began to search for ways to turn myself into human. I didn’t want to live as vampire. I wanted to live as human, experience the same thing my beloved did. I wanted to fall in love, not with a monster, but with a normal person.

I eventually decided to live on my own. I got my own house; it was a simple one deep inside the forest as I continue my experiment. Yunho hyung would sometime visit me but I began to care less about it as I was drowning in my experiment.

It began to be frustrating; I was nowhere near the answer. That’s when a brilliant idea got into my head. I needed to really practice it. I produced drugs and I tried them on the fallen ones; no one would miss them. They’re broken vampire after all. I might even do some good in the world, lessening the people hurt by them.

I knew I could control them because I was pure blood but the experiment was fruitless. Then I realized I should try the drugs on real things to make it worked. I needed pure blood subject. I tried to find a candidate but I couldn’t. Pure blood hid themselves too well.

Then, I remembered two pure bloods that had been lying to me this whole time. They pretended to care about me but they didn’t. If they cared; they wouldn’t turn me into this helpless vampire. They made me like this. Yes, they’re my parents.

I made sure Yunho hyung was visiting other country and then I invited them over to my house. They came and everything went as it was supposed to be. At least before they lost control after I gave them the drugs and then they died tragically.

Devastated, I hid their remains and stayed silent about it. Yunho hyung eventually came back and asked me whether I knew where our parents were. Of course, I lied. He decided to try to find them. Yunho hyung was smart, sometime even smarter than me. It wasn’t long before he discovered what I had been doing in my basement.

It was the first time I saw him angry at me. No, he wanted to murder me. He wanted to kill me. I defensed myself as we fought each other. He kept yelling at me why I did what I did. I didn’t answer him. That was when a thought came into my mind. Yunho hyung was also a pure blood.

I managed to inject him with my drugs a little as we fought. He collapsed on the floor as I ran away. I didn’t want to kill him but I needed to continue my research. I needed to escape, that was the only thing on my mind as I retreated.

Far away, I could hear Yunho hyung screamed in pain. That was the last time I felt anything. My feelings died out after that. I didn’t care about anything or anyone anymore. I was too consumed with turning myself into normal human. I hurt and killed many innocent but I could care less. 

I kept going on the same pace for centuries. Later on, I found out Yunho hyung was chasing me to stop me but I could care less. Then, I discovered the existence of a half; a human and vampire child. It was possible for human and vampire to be together. Finally, there was hope!

Successfully capturing a half for the first time, I did my experiment on his delicately; I couldn’t afford him to die easily. I needed to find out as much as I could. I was almost succeeded when my brother destroyed everything. He let the half escaped and he would pay for that.

I was so devastated, but then I found him again, my beloved. He was young and beautiful as I remembered he was. I called him the instant I saw him, yet, he didn’t recognize me. He was like a whole new person. Some of him stayed the same but the other; it was like I didn’t know him at all.

Yet, after all my effort to capture his heart, he finally said he loved me; it was like centuries ago. Everything repeated itself. He knew I was a vampire but he still loved me. I wouldn’t fail this time. I would achieve my goal and live as human beside him. This was my second chance.

Of course he didn’t know what I had been doing behind his back. I couldn’t let him find out. Once, he begged me to turn him but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t turn him into a monster like me. Yet, I still wanted to be with him. I wouldn’t let anyone stood between me and my love again this time; not even my own brother. There was no turning back now.