I sometimes wonder how many people realize Seunghyun is an introvert. Seungri and I - and even Youngbae - thrive off of being the center of attention. Jiyong constantly refers to us as his favorite drama queens, because we'll steal the stage at any possible moment. But Seunghyun is different: being in a crowd too long exhausts him. I think he likes acting so much because he is able to create a beautiful product for his fans without having to be in a constant, overwhelming throng of people.

Concerts began to take their toll on Seunghyun, especially as we neared our comeback in 2015. Our schedules were so full that we would finish one concert only to leave that night for the next location; none of us got the rest we needed. It began to show for each of us in different ways. Seungri became louder, Youngbae sang less (and yelled more) during songs, Jiyong rarely slept, and my voice began to crack during performances. Seunghyun... His reaction was to take my hand.

In a way, I was able to help Seunghyun the way he had helped me after my accident. He began to look to me as a source of strength and comfort; my hand in his gave him the ability to make it through our endless concerts. It's funny, but those were the moments where, for the first time, I felt like my nickname of the Smiling Angel might actually suit me. Helping my Seunghyun made me feel like I could fly.

I began to watch him during our performances, and whenever his shoulders would sag I would flutter over to be with him. Taking his hand in mine, I would squeeze it and flash him my brightest smile. Every time I did that, he would smile at me and the tension in his beautiful dark eyes would ease. There was a little voice in the back of my head that was convinced that these exchanges meant something more to Seunghyun than just a friendly handhold. I began wondering if every touch meant as much to him as it did to me. 

Could he love me?

But, I never got the chance to confess my feelings.