CHAPTER 19     The main reason why I decided to go out with Fany is so that I can stage a lot of opportunities for the little dateless (Not anymore since she technically went out with Fany yesterday right?^^ Success!!!) monkey (My new nickname for her)so that she can hang with and get closer to “my girlfriend”, and… I think it’s working.   They seem so comfortable nowadays, I wouldn’t doubt it if Fany already has feelings for Taeng and she just doesn’t know it yet…   Little monkey’s not that hard to love.       “Why… Why aren’t you answering?” Fany was trying to steady her voice, but it all came out trembling and scared.   I actually hate myself for pushing Fany in a corner like this but…   “… I’ll tell you, but… before that can I ask you something as well?”   She didn’t respond and kept her head low, but I’ll continue just the same. I started this, might as well keep at it til the end.     “Why do you always talk about Taeng when you’re with me? You… might not notice it yourself but… you might like Taeng you know?”   “If so… it’s alright, I don’t mind.”   “Or do you already know and are thinking about it?”   Fany still wasn’t meeting my gaze, but still I gave her a warm smile. I made sure to speak with her tenderly because I didn’t know how I can lay the cards down without hurting her. I really felt that she liked Taeng, and I’d be blind to just shrug it off and not notice.   Even if it was the girl I also liked.   I guess… I’m also a er for cute, kind and innocent girls huh Taeng?   “Why don’t you go see her? Then you can find out yourself. And… if during those intances you still are confused, you can call me, and I’ll listen to you again Fany. I’ll support whatever decision you make. That’s my answer.”   “You know my number right?”   “Eh” and finally she looks up at me, but I only see guilt in her eyes. She then reclaimed her previous position and shook her head sideways vigorously.   “You don’t remember? How about Taeng’s?”   “…”   “I see… you remember it right?   You already have the answer right?”   I stood up, smiled at her for the last time and left our table, letting my girlfriend figure her feelings out herself. When I did, I suddenly felt that I was too unfair with Fany and her feelings. I was only thinking about Taeng and myself and never onced considered her, what she wanted. I like Fany too. Truthfuly I do. But being with her felt like stealing from Taeng… Something that I absolutely feel disgust on…   And at the end of the day, Fany is Fany, and Taeng is Taeng, I can lose someone I like, a girlfriend, a lover but I can never replace Taeng; my one and only friend.   And when you’ve faced the world with no one by your side fighting, believing and being true to you except that one person, you’d understand what I mean.       XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX       At the President’s Office in Seoul Public High School:     “Hmn… well it’s a fight between students, and no one was seriously hurt so I’ll let you go this time.” Mr. Kim Kyung Wook, the school’s head mentioned languidly in his prominent brown leather chair which makes him look more frail and sickly than he actually is.   I kept my body in a 90 degrees bow not lifting it, in fear of meeting the gaze of the uninterested president and piercing eyes of the scary dean of discipline. “Thank you so much!” I said, nervousness prominent in the tone of my voice forming an incoherent ball of gratitude for not being punished for punching another student in school.   After a few moments of silence, I exited the room quietly excusing myself from the two temporary justices of my future.       Conversation when Taeyeon left…     “President! Why didn’t you suspend that student from school?!!”   “It’s not that serious, more like a catfight between two female teens. We’ve seen a lot of these cases and handled it similarly did we not?”   “Well, let me inform you Sir that in this “case” the “cat” that got scratched was none other than Im Yoona, the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Gil Seung Im. Anyways, I don’t think it should be left as it is, Think Sir, it might not be of the best interest of the school.”   … …           “The train bound for … is approaching, please stay behind the yellow line…”   I… I hit a person for the first time… a girl at that… even if I didn’t really mean to and just acted based on an eruption of emotions…   Am I not purehearted anymore?   I don’t really mind but…   Because of this do I still have the right to ask for Sica to stay?     “the doors are on your left… you may transfer to line number…”   Sigh…   So many happenings in a day… maybe I can head home and call Yuri for a meet up…? But before that let me nap inside this train for a bit, my head’s too cluttered I can’t thin-   And before I can even close the lids of my eyes and rest them for a few seconds, I saw in front of me just entering the train carriage was an equally shocked Fany…   God. The fates are really playing with me and my Dookong heart today.   “Hi-”   And in a second tears burst from Fany’chocolate orbs, while she covers to muffle out the increasily loud sobs.   “H…Hey… What’s happening Fany?”   “Hick… sorry TaeTae… I’m so sorry…”   “Wha-? Whatever that is, don’t worry Fany, it’s okay. Did something happen?”   “I… I was with Yuri a while ago… Hick Hick”   “With Yuri?”   And like bait on a fishing hook, I felt being reeled back further and further into this big tangled mess all over again.       XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX       When Yuri stood up from her seat in the burger joint, I didn’t know what to do… half of me wanted to grabbed her wrist, her shirt or any part of her to keep her from leaving and just ask, BEG her to stay with me on this nauseating hell of a ride, but the rest was just in a big jumble of emotions I ended up not doing anything, sitting stunned across the now empty space in front of me…   I stared at air, turning it into mist then into rain. Tears fell softly creating tracks of liquid from my eyes, and when I couldn’t help it but sob my heart out I switly stood from the seat and ran.   The chilling air cutting through my face turned my tears into snow as block after block I let my legs carry me as far as I could, to places that won’t remind me of Yuri and Taeyeon or anyone that’s pulling my heart and stretching it from east to west like this.   Yuri was actually right.   And it pains me to know that she saw through me, as I tried avoiding the conflicting feelings that have began brewing inside of me ever since dating Yuri has felt nothing but a complete farce, clouding my heart with loneliness and with TaeTae conveniently filling up the void in multiple occasions.   …