Donghae rolled over and looked at the illuminated numbers of his clock staring back at him. He'd tried to sleep, but to no avail. His mind was racing and was full of 'what ifs'. He'd never been this nervous on game day, but the pressure was on. The naysayers doubted him. The papers, the ones who supported their rivals, thought he was done for. They said there was nothing left and he had already past his teenage prime. They had won three straight games, all on the road and they were the league target. Everyone was gunning to take them down and it will start tonight at seven p.m. under the lights. 

Jessica, Tiffany and the rest of the girls would be there to meet them as they come out of the tunnel. Their pom-poms will be shaking. Their mouths will be cheering as they rushed by. Donghae would come out last. He always had. He needed that one moment of peace before he stepped out onto the field and see the bright lights shining down on him. He needed that solitude that he felt when he looked at the thousands of fans who were gathered on a Friday night to watch them battle it out with their opponent. 

What Donghae didn't look for were the scouts. He didn't want to see them. He didn't want to know that they were sitting in the stands with their notepads writing furiously about everything that he did wrong. 

It was three in the morning on game day. Donghae should be sleeping, but it avoids him even though he needed it. He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, his bare feet touching the cold hardwood floor. He did not know how to shut off the voices inside his head, but staying here was not the answer. He put on the t-shirt he had threw on the chair last night and his sweatpants and slip on his New Balance. 

The window in his bedroom moved up easily and the early morning air caused his skin to pebble. This was not the first time he had snuck out and would not be the last, but after the first time he was afraid the noise would alert his father, so he oiled it. Donghae did not know what his father would do if he caught him and to be honest, he was not willing to find out. But he needed to see her. He needed to feel her, and hold her against him. She would calm his nerves and ease the anxiousness that was building. 

Donghae shimmied down the rose trellis and took off in a dead sprint towards her house, which was three blocks away. The run was what he needed. He would be nice and tired when he crawl in through her window. Sleep would not elude him once he had Jessica pressed tightly against his chest. 

He did not knock or even worry about waking her parents when he opened her window. She leaves it unlocked for him each night. The first time they were caught he thought her dad was going to shoot him. He should have. Donghae could not imagine what w