“You did what?”

Chanyeol flinched a little at the tone of voice Junmyeon was using. As soon they arrived home they called everyone to share the information that they had gathered and Chanyeol had been panicking at the look on Junmyeon’s face as Sehun and Jongin kept talking.

When he asked that question on a low tone of voice, Chanyeol felt like bolting from his place on the couch; his hyung was furious.

“So let me get this straight; you three dimwits went to the man’s house, broke in, kicked a door open and found all this information?”

“Yes!” replied Sehun nonchalantly, Chanyeol didn’t dare to say a thing.

“Unbelievable! Unbelievable!” muttered Junmyeon pacing in front of the couch.

“Calm down Junmyeon. They got information which is more than you’ve done!”

And the words coming out of Minseok’s mouth had a freezing effect on everybody in the room: Chanyeol felt Jongin’s body grow stiff next to him and Sehun grabbing his arm, Tao was holding his breath while Yixing’s head had snapped up from its resting place on the other’s folded knees; Jongdae had let his granola bar fell to the floor and Kyungsoo’s eyes were abnormally big. Junmyeon’s eyes swerved to Minseok’s very slowly.

“What are you trying to say?”

“I am saying that I don’t see you do much.” replied Minseok from where he sat on the armchair. “I’ve seen all of us searching for Baekhyun, handing photos to people on the street, talking to all sorts of people but you seem to disappear every single time that one of those things happens. So yes, I am clearly saying that you don’t give a damn about this. Is he that disposable to you? Was it the same with Kris and Luhan?”

Chanyeol felt his mouth open at the other’s words; everyone had been on edge lately but that was a really low blow, especially towards Junmyeon who didn’t deserve them.

“Minseok hyung…” called Jongin

“Don’t Jongin. He can say whatever he wants.”

And with that Junmyeon his heel and left the room. Tao shot a glance in Minseok’s direction before following their leader.

“That was fantastic!” commented Jongdae sarcastically “No, really that was brilliant. I really don’t get why the two of you, of all possible times, are being insufferable. That was unnecessary and frankly, very rude of you. Seriously Minseok, I don’t know what’s gotten into you but please, get your head in the game.”

Minseok was feeling guilty, he hadn’t meant to react that way but they had brought such good news, a clue and a culprit and Junmyeon had come to rain on their parade. The words had just come out of his mouth without him meaning to.

“Minseok hyung, I think, just for the record, that you should know that Junmyeon managed to get all major radio stations and TV channels to pass Baekhyun’s photo, along with the police numbers, asking people to call that number if they know something. He paid from his own pocket and ignored orders from our managers to not let the news of Baekhyun’s disappearance out to public. Everyone is breathing on his neck, threatening to demote him as a leader and he’s feeling guilty as hell that he let this thing happened, in the first place.” stated Kyungsoo softly “And you went really low with the Kris and Luhan bit.”

Minseok tried to open his mouth but Tao burst into the room, he went near Sehun and muttered something in the other’s ear. Sehun looked at him in panic before bolting out of the room, Tao was about to follow him but he was interrupted by Yixing.

“Tao? Is everything alright?”

Tao looked at Yixing, biting his lip, clearly unsure of what answer to give.

“Tao?”

“Junmeyon hyung locked himself in the bathroom. He’s babbling about being a bad leader. He talked about leaving…”

And that was when Jongin flipped; he glared at Minseok and stood up to leave the room.

“Where are you going?” asked Jongdae.

“Where do you think I am going? I’m going to check on Junmyeon of course. Because not only are we dealing with Baekhyun’s kidnap but we also have to deal with Junmeyon breaking up because we are all acting like a bunch of little kids, fighting over the stupidest little things. This was not the kind of attitude I expected from you Minseok hyung. You are the oldest, you should set the example and yet, you are far more concerned in treating Baekhyun like a possession and pointing fingers at everyone. This was our entire fault, we should all point fingers at ourselves, we should have prevented it but we didn’t. This is the moment where we should all work together and we aren’t, we are falling apart and I find myself thinking that it’s actually good that Baekhyun isn’t here. Imagine him seeing us like this.”

As soon as Jongin bolted out of the room, Chanyeol spoke up.

“He’s right you know. This isn’t us.”

“You agree with him because he’s your boyfriend.” spat Minseok.

“And that’s exactly what he was talking about. I don’t want to tell you what to do Minseok but please, for our sake and Baekhyun’s sake, get yourself together.”

Chanyeol abandoned the living room and, soon after, all of them did as well, Minseok being the exception. He sat on the couch, hands covering his eyes. He knew they were all right; he was perfectly aware of it but everything was too much right now and, instead of crying and breaking, Minseok had resorted to snapping at others as a way to release tension. It was wrong but he couldn’t help. He was feeling way too jealous over the fact that Baekhyun had called Sehun, he was jealous over the fact that, before Baekhyun’s kidnap, the maknae had actually grown closer to Baekhyun and he had to admit that lately, he was confused by his own feelings.; the feelings that there was someone capable of shadowing his affections for Baekhyun.

He stood up from where he was and strolled to the entrance of the dorm, bypassing Yixing, who was holding a cup of tea.

“Where are you going?”

“I need to go out for a bit. I need to clear my head and to just sort out every jumbled mess in my head. Is that okay?”

Yixing actually looked surprised at his hyung question. It was extremely considerate from him to warn them before going, which contrasted with how snappy he had been.

“Sure hyung! I hope your stroll lightens up your mind and your heart. Just make sure you come back to us, okay?”

Minseok was truly touched at the kind words and kind smile he was offered. He gave Yixing a one armed hug before leaving the dorms.

“I hope you can find your peace hyung.” whispered Yixing, watching the closed door for a brief moment before going upstairs to give Tao his tea.

When Minseok finally returned to the dorms, it was very late in the evening, to the point where every light was turned off and not a sound was heard. He slipped out of his shoes and threw his jacket on top on the counter at the entry.

After much thinking, he came to the conclusion that dealing with this incident with the anger that he had been feeling was detrimental for him and everyone else; not only was he hurting people and making them resent him but also he wasn’t being himself and it kind of scared him; it scared him that he was losing himself. So, he made the vow to behave and return to normalcy. As Jongin said, they all needed to stick together and focus on getting Baekhyun back. Also, he had made a little mental note to apologize to everyone, especially Junmyeon, who hadn’t deserved the cruel words that he had said in the heat of the moment.

Slowly, he walked through the house, checking on his friends, Tao was sleeping in Yixing’s room, not in the same bed though, since Minseok knew their relationship was still blooming and they were still testing waters. He made sure to pull Tao’s covers up to the younger’s chin, covering him. He also took Yixing’s book from the man’s hands, marking the page where Yixing had presumably stopped and set it on the desk. Then, he went to Jongdae and Kyungsoo. The younger was sleeping peacefully on side of the bed while Jongdae was on the opposite side, snoring slightly, almost falling from the bed: Minseok pushed him gently and Jongdae had grumbled something before cuddling to Kyungsoo’s back, who cooed.

When Minseok passed through Chanyeol’s door, he had to smile; Jongin, who he noted, had a suspicious redness around his eyes, was sleeping on top of Chanyeol’s chest. The two of them were completely entwined in each other and it was such a sweet image that he resisted the urge to flail a little.

Finally, he reached Junmyeon’s room and his heart lurched; Junmyeon was sleeping, tear tracks evident on his face, resting his head upon Sehun’s lap, who was dozing in, fingers moving on Junmyeon’s hair. Once or twice, Junmyeon made a distressed sound and Sehun opened his eyes to shush the other, muttering softly in his ear. Then, he looked up and his eyes met Minseok’s. Gently, he slid Junmyeon’s head from his lap, letting it fall against the pillow. Junmyeon seemed to wake up briefly.

“Sehunnie?”

“Go back to sleep hyung, I’ll be back in a second.”

“Hmm…’kay.”

Sehun Junmyeon’s back a couple of times, making sure the other was asleep, and then he turned to Minseok.

“Let’s have a talk, shall we hyung?”

Minseok nodded and both of then went to the small study and sat side by side on the couch. The silence permeated the air for a long time before Minseok decided to talk.

“How is Junmyeon?”

“Cried himself to sleep, as you saw, but I talked to him, Jongin and Chanyeol too, but I think that the conversation he had with Yixing was the one who convinced him not to do anything stupid. Yixing is a very good listener and a very good adviser.”

“He is…”

“How about you? How are you?”

“I don’t know! I really don’t know. I feel like this is all too much; everything is too much. It’s one blow after another.”

“I understand.” nodded Sehun “However, you have to realize that it’s being too much for everyone else too; we are all tired, we are all feeling defeated and, honestly, having you starting fights with me or Junmyeon at every second is adding more stress to all of us. It’s not helping this already awful situation.”

“I know. I know all of that. I crossed many lines I hoped I didn’t lately and I feel like I don’t recognize myself. There are all these bottled up feeling inside me and now Baekhyun’s gone and I was seriously hoping for an answer but I have none at the moment.”

“I get what you are saying but please, make an effort. We all need to come together as one, as we always said we were going to be, in order to overcome this and bring him back. Do it for us, do it for yourself and do it for Baekhyun, after all he’s your boyfriend, isn’t he?”

At Minseok’s silence, Sehun turned his head to look at the guilt on the other’s face, and gave him an inquisitive stare but Minseok still kept his mouth shut.

“Am I missing something? Just a few days ago you were screaming, at the top of your lungs, that he was your boyfriend.”

“We’re just dating. I called him that once and he almost bit my head off.” Smile Minseok without humor “The thing is I thought that I could love him and give him what he needed but I don’t think I can anymore.”

“Why?”

“Sehun, the truth is I pursued him because I felt he was just like me; the one craving love and attention from someone unreachable. I really thought that maybe we could mend each other and be happy but, who am I lying to? My heart can’t forget that easily and though I do love Baekhyun, I just can give him the kind of love that he wants!”

If Sehun was shocked by Minseok’s words, he didn’t let it show. He stood where he was, looking intently at Minseok’s face.

“Why giving him hope then?”

“Because it also gave me hope; hope that I could finally allow myself be loved.”

“He likes you.”

“Who are you kidding with Sehun? He may like me, but he loves you. He gravitates towards you in a way that I’ve never seen anyone doing. You are his light and every fiber of his being wants you more than life itself. Who did he call when he tried to ask for help? Not me, not his best friend, not even his leader. He called you. He called his Sehunnie. You should be with him. He should be happy next to you.”

“It’s actually hilarious to have this conversation with you because, not even a week ago, I prepared myself to let him go; to let him be with you, because you are the better choice.”

“But the heart wants it wants! He could never be as happy with me as he is when with you. You just need to put pride aside and assume, once and for all, that you love him.”

“I do love him.”

Minseok looked surprised at the calm admittance; when he prepared himself mentally for this conversation, he wasn’t really counting on having the other to admit that he loved Baekhyun. He smiles bitterly at the ground.

“That is good, when we get them back, he will be very happy to hear that and, after you grovel for a bit, I think you’ll be very happy.”

“I think we should let him decide when he comes back to us.”

“The he’ll realize that I am not the better choice.”

“Why not?”

“I love someone else. It’s that simple.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, who?”

“Junmyeon…I’ve liked him for quite a while but he liked or likes Tao; I don’t know.”

“He likes Tao?” asked Sehun completely flabbergasted “No, he doesn’t!”

“They dated!”

“They didn’t. They cuddled and I know that that cuddle turned to more than that once or twice but it was just something physical. Tao doesn’t like Junmyeon hyung in that sense and neither does Junmeyon. And I know since I asked them.” when Minseok gapped at him rather unattractively Sehun made a face “If I knew this would turn out to be a pajama party I would have brought something alcoholic to drink, I’m not sober enough for these types of conversation. But anyway, I would suggest you to talk with Junmyeon and sort everything else. Well, wait for a few days because, right now, Junmyeon is very pissed at you. Eventually, he will fall for your charms.”

They both stayed silent for a long time, mulling over the others they have said and over the words they have listened. It was a lot for both of them to wrap their heads around, despite understanding everything that had been said, both explicit and implicit parts: Sehun had understood that Minseok was admitting that leading Baekhyun on had been a mistake and now, the oldest was trying to encourage him to pursue Baekhyun when he returned; Minseok, on the other side, had understood that, due his fears, he had stopped himself from getting what he wanted and that he may, or may not, have blown it all up.

“I think it’s safe to say that we were both wrong about our ways, up to this moment at least, but are committed to change and to run after what we want: Baekhyun for you, Junmyeon for me; that, of course, after we get him. I think it’s also safe to say that we are going to do our best not to be jealous of each other, either because it will bother me to see you next to Baekhyun, because I still care for him deeply or either way around.”

“Agreed.” nodded Sehun while stretching his arms. “I don’t feel sleepy at all.”

“You should sleep though…”

“I don’t think I can. I am kind of afraid of what I’ll dream. That and knowing that Baekhyun is not here makes it harder.”

Minseok felt pity for their maknae; the younger man had eye bags down to the floor and it was evident, from his posture, that he hadn’t been sleeping much for the past few days; however, he understood very well the fears of the maknae since he too was afraid that bad news, related to Baekhyun, would come. He thought for a while and an idea popped into his head.

“If you are not that sleepy, we can go tcheck those books and other stuff you bought from Doctor Lee’s house. We may find something there.”

“That’s a good idea.”

Minseok was sleepy and wanted nothing more than his bed but seeing the brightness in the maknae’s eyes at the prospect of being helpful and at the thought of being able to find his petite hyung, he braced himself for a sleepless night. It was a way to start mending all he had done in the previous days.

“I’ll go make some coffee then.”

Baekhyun was hunched on the corner of the bathroom, where he had locked himself several minutes ago. He was still in a state that was borderline hysteric and he was still trying to calm himself down, being in the small room with no one but himself brought him, in this case, a sense of security that he needed; if it was a normal day he would have seek his friends presence to comfort him but his friends were not there, so he just had to deal.

After giving him the serum, the doctor had been gone for two hours, give or take, and when he returned Baekhyun was still where he had left him, completely immobile. What scared him the most was the fact that the doctor had, while he was paralyzed, played with him, like a doll, brushing his hair and putting different clips on it, adjusting his clothes and pretending that he was taking tea; and he couldn’t do a single thing, he was bound to deal with all that touching. Despite the fact that the all the touching was not inappropriate, as in not remotely ual, Baekhyun still felt disgusting: there was a man touching his face and arms without his consent and that had made his skin crawl and bile rise to his throat.

When the serum had started to lose its effect, the doctor had left, growing bored of not having a complacent doll anymore. Baekhyun had actually waited for half an hour before all his body was able to move again and, the first thing he did, was slip in the shower and rubbing his skin raw. He had sobbed uncontrollably all the way through and, when he finished, he had to rush to the toilet to throw up. He didn’t know if that was a result of feeling molested or an effect from the serum, either way he was still queasy.

He had slipped a large sweatshirt through his head and put on some boxers, both found on top of his bed, before locking himself in the bathroom, by pushing a cabinet in front of the door. While it wouldn’t do a thing if the doctor wanted him out, it surely would delay him and Baekhyun could kick and scream all he wanted in that amount of time.

He found himself thinking about his band members, his friends, his family. He wished more than ever that somebody would take him away from him; since the day he had been kidnapped, Baekhyun had hold on to the thought that his hyungs and dongsaengs would appear to rescue him, kind of like a fairy tale. It was an idyllic way of thinking and most likely a silly dream but it made everything bearable, so he didn’t mind how childish it seemed, even to his own mind.

His hand twitched, a possible effect from the serum, but he ignored it and closed his puffy, red eyes. Now, it was time to dream, because in his dreams, at least, he could be where he wanted, with whom he wanted and there was no deranged people, looking at him from the corner of his eyes, to hurt him.

So, Baekhyun closed his eyes and let all of his positive thinking and mental pictures of his special people drag him into the sweet land of dreams.

A/N: I'M SORRY! I'm so, so sorry for the delay but seriously I am swamped with work to the point that I've been working overtime, and I haven't got that much time to write at all. But I finished today, even though I'm tired as hell (I work as teacher in a study center and I was asked to help to prep the rooms for study groups because next week we are going to be swamped with teens studying for exams, and I actually had to move furniture around all by my self... I have no arms and no back!) so, if you find more mistakes than usual, there's the reason! 
Anyway, this is a filler chapter, to explain some things and bring some other new ones to the table, per say. I hope you like it, if so let me know! ^^
Have a wonderful day!