I where yet to tell her, it wasn’t like I hadn’t tried. It was just that the right opportunity hadn’t showed up. I know, lame excuse. But I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want to leave her again. But I already knew that it wasn’t something negotiable.

“Noori?” she reached out her hand into thin air, she was searching for me. I was saving up my strength to when I really needed it. So when she was asleep I would stand in the darkness next to her bed, just watching her. I would only show myself when she called me, just like she precisely had done, asked for me.

I stepped out from my hideout and strode up to her, wondering what she wanted.

“Come with me to school” she jumped out off the bed, and thus causing me to take a step back. I regretted it immediately when I saw her face, she looked hurt by my action. My gaze shifted down and I lowered my head slightly. I shivered when I felt the warmth of her body pressing against mine.

She begged me to fallow her. I hesitated, not because I didn’t want to. But because I couldn’t show myself, what would people say if they saw me, walking and breathing again. They would probably be scared beyond anything else. And I told her that I couldn’t show myself in front of others. To be honest, I haven’t even showed myself for my parents. That was something I just couldn’t, because they had moved on. They had already accepted that their son was dead and that I never would come back.
The only one who hadn’t moved one was Na Eun.

“Please” she fluttered her eyelids a few times and I found myself smiling like a total fool. If she only knew what she was doing to me. I couldn’t hide my anxiety over what possible could happen, neither less I agreed to come with her. Just seconds later I could feel how she planted a kiss on my cheek, before she disappeared towards the bathroom to get ready.

Before we stepped out I told her that once we left the room I wouldn’t be visible, she looked a bit saddened but neither less, she nodded her head and we proceeded out through the door and towards school.

I had mixed feelings about seeing everyone again. Especially Ha Joon, whom I met during kindergarten. He was together with Na Eun my best friends. I could still remember how we used to prank on Na Eun. And how we used to get yelled at from our parents for making Na Eun cry, yet we never stopped. When thinking about it now, I wonder why she stayed at our side, despite that all the tricks we pulled on her. But I’m glad she did. Or else I would’ve never experienced how it was to fall deeply in love.

Since I was invisible that also meant that I didn’t need to pay attention and worry about bumping into people, I could just slid through them. My gaze never slipped away from Na Eun, I was steadily watching her. I didn’t want anything to happen to her again.

Just a month and a half after the accident, when she had been allowed to go home from the hospital she had tried to commit suicide by jumping off a bridge. Of course she had no idea that I had been the one to save her. I guess you may wonder how I could to that.

At that time, my soul was so strong that I could take over one person’s body, even if it was just temporary. I pursued her to not jump. I told her that whatever it was that troubled her she weren’t alone. And that’s when she told me.

That the love of her life had died.

That’s when I understood. That the one she almost committed suicide over was me. I had been so shocked that I had a hard time copying with what was happening. The world around me had started to spin. And before I left, I told her that the one she loved would never leave her side and that she must promise to never do such a thing again. She must’ve thought that the person was weird for telling her something like that. A complete stranger tells you that everything will be okay and that you shouldn’t commit suicide. Of course she didn’t know that I where the one inside that person, and thus controlling every move.

She had faintly nodded her head as I left. And a few minutes later I had returned to her side, as myself, invisible.

She had kept her promise. Or else she would’ve been on my side. To be honest, a couple of days after that I had passed away and fully understood that I would never be able to love her like that again. I had actually wished that she would’ve died. I know, it sounds horrible. Especially from someone that love her so dearly.

But to love a person, is also to sacrifice. Even though her sacrifice would be too great, I was being selfish. But I didn’t want to see it; I wanted her by my side. It had taken me some time to let my enraged feelings to settle. I weren’t angry at Na Eun, but at myself.

After that I understood that nothing good would come out from her being dead, that besides her being by my side forever. I didn’t want her parents and friends to re-live everything. I had seen the pain they had gone through when she was laying on that hospital bed, oscillating between life and death. So no. I couldn’t take her away.

~~

When we finally arrived at my old high school she quietly said my name out loud. And since I couldn’t show myself I whispered into her ear that I was present and that I wouldn’t leave. When I moved away I noticed that she was blushing, which caused me to smirk as I reached out my hand and were about to her cheek. Though, I stopped, I had totally forgotten that I couldn't touch her in this state.

I frowned as I fallowed after her inside the large building that I used to study at. Nothing more than that those who’re born 91 had graduated and that Na Eun was now a junior student. So in a year she would graduate and move on. To what I didn’t know, because we had never talked about that in a serious matter. We had only jokingly said that we would be millionaires and living in some tropical country where the snow never fell.

I stopped in my tracks as soon as I saw Ha Joon. If it weren’t for that I had known him for practically my whole life then I would’ve easily taken him for someone else. He had changed, a lot. His previous geeky self was nowhere to be seen. No glasses, his hair was in the latest fashion and his uniform was more stylish than the other students. He had turned into a pretty boy.