I hadn’t let my eyes off her during the whole night. She had moved around the whole night, which indicated that she had a nightmare. Something I couldn’t do anything about. I could only watch as droplets of sweat ran down her forehead, and then onto her bed. I wanted to reach out my hand and wake her up. To tell her that everything would be okay.

But it wouldn’t. I knew that much.

She woke up when her alarm clock sounded, it was time for school. If she only knew that I had been fallowing her for almost a year. I wonder what her reaction would be. All the things I’d seen. No, I haven’t peaked on her when she changed. I’ve only watched out for her from afar, I never showed myself for her.

But it was finally time now. She needed to let go of the past.

I noticed how she shut the alarm off and sat up while rubbing her tired eyes. I smiled when seeing how cute she was. Her hair was all ruffled up and she looked a bit grumpy, just like she always would when she arrived at school ever morning.

I miss it. High school, how we would spend out mornings shattering about what had happened after we got home, that of course if we hadn’t already told one another over the phone or mail. I miss how carefree we where at that time. How we just took the day as it arrived.

The future was something so far away. Yet it wasn’t.

Because that future was abruptly ended that day, the day you turned nineteenth, the day that started with laughter and smiles, and ended with tears and sadness. “Noori?” her voice was hesitant and I could hear the underlying pain in her voice. I brushed-off all emotional feelings that could destroy my true intentions with being here. I had to keep my own emotions in control, because I didn’t want to re-live the hell that I went through one year ago.

I stepped out from the darkness and proceeded towards her bed, with light steps. A human being couldn’t hear me approaching. Her facial features were relaxed and she smiled slightly as I sat down next to her. Somehow, pain struck my heart yet again by just looking at her. A shiver ran down my spine as I felt her fingers trace my arm before she laced her hand into mine.

I debated with myself, whatever I should tell her. That I only had four days left before my strength would disappear, and thus also my powers to make myself visible to the ones I want to.

“You need to get going” I told her as I slipped away and made myself stand next to the bed, as I stared back at her. A frown had appeared and she just looked at me with a sad expression. I knew exactly what she wanted. Skip school. But I only shook my head in reply and told her that she needed to go to school. And that I wouldn’t go anywhere.

It wasn’t a complete lie, I weren’t going anywhere today. So I wasn’t really lying to her.

She had practically begged me to not disappear once she went inside the bathroom, I promised. As of now, that was probably the only promise I could keep, at least right now. In a few days, I wouldn’t even be able to keep that.

Once she returned I took notice that she had applied make-up. Why? To look pretty in front of me, if that was the case then she wouldn’t need make-up. She looked the best without.

I blushed slightly when she traced her finger along my cheek, down towards my lips. In haste I pulled away and faced the other way, before I told her to get finished, because she needed to get going before she would turn up late. I already knew she didn’t care about that. She never had, and even though I wanted to keep her for myself, here, tightly in my embrace. But she had already skipped school for several months. Due to the after match of the injuries she got, plus the sorrow that wouldn’t leave her heart.

She had blamed herself for what happened to me, when it should be the other way around. I should be the one blaming myself, which I already did. If I weren’t in such a hurry to get home so that I could give her my last birthday surprise, then nothing would had happened.

I was stupid to believe that the future was tomorrow, when in fact. The future was today. What you do today, leads you into the future. If I had just kissed you when I should’ve, then this wouldn’t have happened.

“I’m sorry” my head was lowered, as I begged for forgiveness.

I couldn’t see her reaction. But I could definitely hear it. She had started crying. I hurried to her side and enveloped her in a tight hug. “Don’t do that” she cried into my chest and I pitied her right now. She was hugging and begging for comfort from someone that wasn’t even alive, someone that shouldn’t even exist in this world.

And as I where her back, I felt it. My heart weakened and my hand went right through her. A cold rush of fear hit me and I understood exactly what was happening. My time was running out. Luckily for me, she hadn’t seen it, which gave me a few more hours, max a day to tell her.

“P-promise to never leave me” she stuttered and my body literally froze. How could I promise such a thing? Because in the end. I would never be able to keep it.