Jealousy and anger filled my body when Ha Joon walked up to Na Eun and hugged her. I know I’m dead and everything. But my feelings and emotions aren’t gone. That was probably the only thing I had left after my life, emotions.

“Na Eun, how are you?” Ha Joon’s voice was cheerful and it made me feel uneasy. As if something was bound to happen. That’s when I noticed it. Na Eun had become a lot happier after meeting Ha Joon. Did she like him?

My body heated and I anger boiled inside me. She didn’t love me anymore. Maybe I had been wrong. Maybe she had moved on, and that it was me that hadn’t. I watched how she started to chat happily with Ha Joon, and I could see how girls around us where glaring, they where jealous, just like me.

How could I’ve been so stupid to believe that she would cling onto me. I was dead, and she wasn’t. Of course she would find someone else, but I never thought it would be Ha Joon. Not him. She had never seen him like a boyfriend, only as a friend. Apparently that weren’t the case now.

I slipped away from them, not wanting to hear more about their happy life’s together. But as I reached the door I heard Ha Joon say my name. I stopped and hurried back and placed myself next to Na Eun. I wanted to hear what he was about to say.

“Are you going to Noori’s grave on Friday?” Ha Joon’s sudden change of mood made me feel bad. I saw how Na Eun’s smile faded and was replaced by a sad expression.

An expression I knew so well, she felt remorse about what had happened. She still believed that it was her fault.

It took a few seconds before Na Eun answered, telling that she would go. It pained me to see her so sad and depressed. And Ha Joon, his usual smiling and goofy self wasn’t showing. I know he felt bad after the accident as well. But I hadn’t showed myself before him.

I haven’t showed myself before anyone, except for Na Eun now. But that was only because I believed that she wasn’t letting go of the past. I never had any intention in showing myself for anyone, because I know that it would only bring up sadness and pain into people’s hearts.

“Do you want me to fallow?”

It seemed as if Ha Joon where unsure whatever he should’ve asked that, because he looked somewhat nervous.

“It’s okay; I want to go there alone. It’s something I want to say to him” she replied him back, and I was rather shocked over that she didn’t want him to fallow. Though I wonder what the thing she wants to say is.

She knew that I’m present because otherwise she wouldn’t have said anything.

Ha Joon didn’t say anything further, he just nodded his head a few times before he excused himself, telling that his class where about to start. Na Eun smiled at him before he turned around and walked off, which meant that I had a few minutes to ask her what it was she wanted to say to me.

I crept up closer towards her, so that I where practically standing in front of her face. I leaned in; my face would’ve brushed against hers if it weren’t for that I was invisible, before I whispered in a low husky tone, wondering what she wanted to tell me. For a second she must’ve forgotten about me, because she backed away, startled and somewhat a bit confused.

The bell rang, indicating that the students should be moving towards their homerooms. I cursed loudly, luckily I where the only one who could hear it, maybe a few other ghosts nearby.

I wanted to know what was so special that not even Ha Joon could be around.

So what I did that whole day was to ask her the same question. “What is it that you want to tell me?” but she never replied. She only smiled and continued with what she was doing. I felt uneasy. What if it was something bad?

~~

I was standing in my corner, watching her sleeping. Or what was what I thought she was doing, until she called for me. “Noori?” her voice was pleading, she must’ve had a nightmare again. I changed into a physical form before I stepped out from my hiding spot, and went to sit on the edge of the bed.

“C-can you hold m-me?” she stuttered cutely and I felt how my cheeks flushed. Neither less did I what she told me. Carefully I laid myself down on the bed; her back was facing me, as I placed an arm around her waist and pulled her closer. I breathed in her scent and smiled like a fool. I should’ve done this a long time ago.

“Noori?” she moved around so that she was looking straight at me, our faces where just inches away and I had to fight the urge of kissing her.

“Mm?”

“How does it feel like – being dead?” her eyes trailed away from mine and to be honest, I didn’t know what to answer on that question. I didn’t want her to know how miserable it was, mainly because I didn’t want her to feel pity. “It’s okay, as long as I get to be with you” I wanted to slap myself over how cheesy the last part sounded.

“Honestly?” our eyes meet again and I felt how she moved her hand upwards, before she gently graced my cheek. I closed my eyes and slowly breathed out. I wanted to fully take in this moment to my heart. Once I opened my eyes again I told her to get some sleep. I couldn’t answer her question because then I would tell her a lie.

I couldn’t stand lying to her anymore. I had to tell her tomorrow. That in three days time I wouldn’t be able to do this anymore. I wouldn’t be able to hold her like this.