Jaejoong wondered how people state that if you’re jealous, you’re not in love. He felt horrified to say that his own feeling was love, since it it was meant to be a beautiful and pure emotion. Yet his love was tainted by the conflicting emotions within him. It felt as if his love was fighting on either side, one for Yunho’s happiness and the other for his own satisfaction.

And here he was, in the driver’s seat of the car watching Yunho’s current source of happiness jump into his arms. How he wished his other side was winning, such a selfish monster indeed.

Jaejoong resisted the urge to roll his eyes, they were teasing each other with kisses and holding each other so close it was sickening. Jaejoong looked away and stared at the dashboard as he turned the ignition off. “Why even bother starting it?” He sighed as he leaned against seat, it would still be a while. He glanced at his book bag and wondered if reading a book would help the time go by faster. Already ten minutes had passed and he stared at the honk symbol on his wheel.

“Don’t tempt me.” He warned, he turned when he saw the door to the passenger side open.

“Who’s tempting you?” Yunho asked as he put on his seatbelt, Jaejoong gulped.

“Fate, and its being cruel.” Jaejoong said as he started the car. Yunho raised an eyebrow.

“I see... Ah!” Jaejoong looked from the corner of his eye to see Yunho waving from the window to the girl. Jaejoong resisted the urge to press on the gas pedal, instead he maintained his composure as he rode from out the campus. “We’ll make it on time right?”

“We would’ve if you weren’t saying goodbye to your girlfriend.” Jaejoong said angrily, Yunho looked down. He was silent until Jaejoong sighed, “Next time, I will leave you, remember that.” An empty threat that was.

Yunho nodded. “I know.” He patted the dashboard. “At least your car’s fixed!” He looked around excitedly.

“Where’s your friend’s house again?” Jaejoong asked.

“Oh, in the next neighborhood.” Jaejoong turned the wheel, Yunho tried to turn in his seat but the seatbelt locked on him. Jaejoong laughed at him.

“Realize that’s your own fault.” Yunho remained still until they reached the house. Jaejoong didn’t need to ask, he could tell about the number of students with red cups in their hand that it was the right place. “Here you go.”

Yunho opened the door but faced him. “How about coming with me?”

“How long you’ve known me?” Yunho smiled.

“Please?” Jaejoong attempted to look away, if he dared to look he knew he would stay. “Please?” His eyes disobeyed and quickly glanced at the innocent expression on his face. He soon found himself alongside him in the party. The things this guy made him do.

“Your friend’s really quiet.” The girl said, Yunho looked back at Jaejoong who was behind him.

“He’s not good around strangers.” He replied, Jaejoong didn’t bother to smile or greet her in return as Yunho knew he would do. And still he pleads Jaejoong to go along, was this guy that much of a fool? He didn’t notice the awkward silence when they tried to involve him in conversation. Or the rolled over eyes when they asked out loud who invited him. Oblivious.

Later that night, Jaejoong was carrying a drunk Yunho from the car into his basement. “He never learns.” Jaejoong scolded, Yunho blinked in and out of consciousness. He was lucky that Yunho’s low limit for alcohol meant he had an excuse to leave early. Jaejoong attempted to place him on the bed when Yunho regained consciousness and pushed him instead on the bed.

“I’m not tired yet.” He said happily as he walked around the room and waved his arms around. “Jaejoong~. Wasn’t that a fun party?”

“Don’t ask me that.” Jaejoong answered as he straightened himself, Yunho laughed loudly.

“That’s right, you like book parties more.” Yunho then plopped himself beside him and ruffled Jaejoong’s hair. “You’re an adorable nerd.”

Jaejoong narrowed his eyes at him. “Never call another guy adorable.” He shoved his hand aside.

“You’re mean.” He leaned against Jaejoong’s arm, “You’re always mean to me.” He trailed off.

The weight got heavier and laid on his arm, Jaejoong turned his head to see Yunho asleep against his shoulder. “You sleep too easily.” He muttered, he breathed in as he placed his hands on his shoulders and gradually moved him to the bed. He watched as Yunho adjusted himself until he fell completely asleep. His frustration subsided, the monster was completely at peace as he gazed on at Yunho’s calm expression.

He even wondered if his love was confused as lust. Yet as he looked at the sleeping figure on his bed, Jaejoong didn’t feel the physical desire. Not that Yunho wasn’t attractive, but there were others he admitted who would’ve caught his attention instead. For once his feelings remained somewhat innocent, he never once took advantage of the numerous times Yunho appeared drunk or asleep.

It seems insignificant, but it was the only thought he was proud of himself for feeling. He took out his sketchbook and resumed drawing, it seemed to be the only outlet for it all.

Yunho chuckled, Jaejoong glanced back to see a smile on his face. “Dreaming about her,” He murmured and grumbled. “Again.” He shook his head as he continued drawing.

Jaejoong sighed, his own distaste for the girl clouded his judgment of her. She seemed nice, looked sweet and people have often said how pretty she was. In the end, it didn’t matter how she made him feel, she made Yunho happy and that was enough. He attempted to convince the stubborn monster of at least that much.