The performance was magical. Luhan didn’t have any other words to describe it. He miraculously remember what he had to chant, how he had to move and when to do it. Every time Yifan came in to the set to play his part, Luhan always felt like his heart stopped. He went blank every time he saw Yifan played his part, he was like being put into an auto-pilot mode because he didn’t mess up anything while drooling at Yifan. Well, Bli Putu did said that the dancer were all put into some kind of half-tranced condition in this play, because they have to sing the whole performance and if it wasn’t done then they’d probably get exhausted halfway through the show. But still, he felt proud of himself. When the show finally end, Luhan followed the other to the dressing room, feeling content at the loud cheering the audience was giving them. Luhan knew the applause were probably addressed to the main dancers, but he was a part of this team anyway. He hugged all the Kecak dancers around him, as well as Bli Putu and Bli Wayan and a couple of other main dancers. When he saw Yifan, Luhan didn’t hesitate to run to him and jump to his embrace.

               “Fan! We didit we didit we didit we didit!!!!” he said with his arms around Yifan’s neck.

               Yifan hugged Luhan’s slim waist tightly, letting the older man burry his face on Yifan’s broad shoulder, screaming and letting go all of his excitement. He remembered his feelings from his first performances. Just like Luhan, he was not the main dancer back then. He was just one of the 35 Kecak dancer, but it was very satisfying. It made him teared up, which probably what Luhan was doing now. He could feel Luhan starting to sniff, so he pulled back from the hug, looking at Luhan.

               “Hey, why are you crying?”

               Luhan didn’t answer. He bit his lower lips in attempt to stifle his sob. Shaking his head, Luhan tried to smile to Yifan. “Just..”

             “Hm?”

            “I never thought..”

“Really?” Yifan didn’t wait for Luhan to finish his sentence and went straight to teasing.

“I just..”

               When Luhan stop talking and pinched Yifan’s flat stomach instead, the taller male roared a laugh. It was fun teasing Luhan like this. Yifan knows Luhan has such a carefree personality, but somehow whenever he was around Yifan the other was never completely happy or having fun. There’s always some kind of a depressed aura whenever he was around Yifan that the younger just can’t understand. Is he that depressing? Is he not funny enough? Is he not fun enough to talk to? So when Luhan looked free of depression even when he spent the night performing with Yifan, Yifan felt happy.

               After changing their costumes into casual clothes, Yifan asked Luhan to come eat dinner with him. He took Luhan to a seaside restaurant with one of the best night view in Kuta. It was a bit more crowded than other are, but tonight is about celebrating. And Kuta is the best place to celebrate. Yifan took Luhan to one restaurant his friend owned, and they got a beautiful spot Yifan had asked his friend to reserve it special for him. They enjoyed the seafood, and after finishing dessert, they just sat there, enjoying their champagne while listening the sound of wave clashing. Luhan closed his eyes, inhaling the breeze of the sea. Yifan decided to do the same. This is very weird. The last two weeks had been a blast, he enjoyed every second he spent with Luhan. He showed every inch of Bali that he knows to Luhan, and it didn’t seem that two weeks was long enough. He still wanted to be with Luhan. He didn’t want Luhan to go back to Beijing. What’s weirder was, in this past two week he spent with Luhan, not once did he ever think about Song Qian. He didn’t even care that she didn’t reply the texts he sent, nor any of his e-mail. Yifan had Song Qian’s phone number, and it seems like she prefers texting and calling Yifan better than changing emails with him now.

               Yifan sighed, trying not to think too much and just enjoy tonight with Luhan. He’s going back to Beijing the day after tomorrow, and Yifan wanted to make the best of his last days with Luhan. That’s when he heard Luhan hummed a song through his mouth. A very familiar song. He opened his eyes and whipped his head to Luhan’s direction in shock hearing the smooth voice singing the tune he knows.

“Forever you my girl, forever be my world hm hm hm … I'll never break your heart, no, so baby don't let go~”

               Yifan didn’t know the words for Qian – or “Qian” – never share the lyrics in her letters, so he only knew the tune of the song. He knows it by heart. He looked at Luhan with wide eyes, not believing what he’s hearing. By instinct, Yifan hummed along with Luhan. Humming the tune he knows by heart, locking his eyes at Luhan who still has his eyes closed. That was the tune he composed. Suddenly it all became clear to Yifan why Luhan was more familiar to him than Song Qian ever was.

               Hearing a low and deep voice humming along with his singing, Luhan stopped. He felt like he just got struck by a lightning. He was afraid to open his eyes, so he kept his eyes close. He thought of what he should say to Yifan to explain what he just did. He felt like kicking his own for doing such a mistake. How could he lose control? How could he slipped and sung that tune in front of Yifan? How could he—

               “Don’t even try, Luhan,” Luhan heard Yifan said. There was anger obvious in the tone he’s talking with. “Don’t say that Song Qian told you about this. Don’t say you heard this tune from Song Qian.”

               Luhan kept silent. He had no self-defense. He’s caught red handed. There’s no way out. Yifan kept looking at the other man who was still closing his eyes, squeezing it shut but Yifan could see fresh tears are forming in the corner of Luhan’s eyes.

               “Luhan?”

               The younger man didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to say. The only thing his brain could think of was ‘get outta here, Luhan, just get outta here!’. So he did the first impulsive action he could’ve think of, he rose up from his seat and turned around, walking away from their dinner table.

               “No, no, Luhan!” Yifan followed him suit. In no time the older is standing beside Luhan who hasn’t even took two steps away from their table, his hands holding Luhan’s wrist. “Don’t you dare walk away from me.”

               “No, Yifan, you can’t. I didn’t mean to.. You.. this is—“

               “This is the truth, Lu!” Yifan said in a whispered scream. “I should’ve known. I should have known.”

               Luhan could only close his eyes again. The melancholy music the restaurant was playing is not helping. It only made him feel sadder than he already has.

               “You like kungpao chicken so much, Song Qian doesn’t. You were the researcher from Beijing University. Song Qian was never interested in anthropology, let alone ethnomusicology. She couldn’t even pronounce the word correctly! The book you read, For One More Day, Mitch Albom, was your favourite while Qian couldn’t even differentiate a book and a magazine! And then the song you just sang.. I know that tune by heart, Han. And Song Qian doesn’t even continue the tune every time I hummed it.. I.. oh my God, I should’ve known!! Damn it! Luhan!!”

               Yifan’s other hand that wasn’t holding Luhan’s slap the edge of their table. Luhan squeezed his eyes shut, afraid of the rage his best friend will show, but he was ready. He knows that this is all his fault. It was all his idea, to deceive Yifan like that. He’s ready to accept the risk, losing his friendship with the younger man. Even though it will hurt like hell, he’s ready. Just when Luhan thought Yifan was going to slap him and hit him and throw him to the sea in front of them, he heard Yifan ask in a small voice.

               “It was.. it was you all this time, Xiao Lu?”

               Luhan did not answer. The result was Yifan growling, pulling Luhan’s arm rather harshly to force him to look at the taller.

               “Tell me, Luhan, was it you all along? Was it all real? Were you in love with me all this time?”

               Luhan slowly open his eyes, focusing on Yifan’s chest in front of him that was heaving heavily. Luhan can feel Yifan’s heavy breath on his forehead, knowing that the other is standing so close to him. Weakly, Luhan nod.

               “It is? It was? It was you all along? It was you who wro