The sound of my co-workers' chattering around me filled my ears as I took a bite from my lunch. It was lunchtime, for some of the staff anyway which meant I was finally getting a break from the long hours of watching over the slightly foreign corridors, foreign being because they weren't her corridor. I could compare it to being torturous, being unable to just walk into her room to see her or even taking a glance at least.

I remembered catching sight of myself in one of the reflections of the windows on my patrol earlier and pausing for a moment, feeling as if I was a new girl since there was no sight of the one that first walked into this prison months ago. I looked myself up and down and just thought for a moment...even if I never wanted to be like this, I felt oddly content, relieved even. Despite still being reluctant to admit what I already realised, being attracted to a girl, or girls...I accepted it, a lot more than I could have before anyway. I shuffled slightly as my brow furrowed, still studying myself. I hadn't changed in image, I had changed my attitude, my beliefs. I had changed for the better.

Finally after lowering my gaze and turning away from that reflection, I went on my way, unconsciously smiling slightly due to certain flashbacks of a conversation I had had with my...close friend Kim. I found myself thinking about everything she had said and even if it was a small step....she opened up, it got better, she got better. As my footsteps echoed, joining in with the laughter as I passed some of the inmates' rooms, I remember feeling a shiver up my spine as my thoughts flashed to how her touch made me crave for more, how my body somehow ached to be with her's an-

My thoughts were interrupted when I sensed someone sitting beside me, making me jump slightly in surprise. A quick glance proved it to be Yuri and I watched with a slight glare as she unpacked her lunch, hearing her snort at my reaction while eyeing me curiously. She looked cheerful as always.

“So..." She started "You’ve been smiling by yourself for about five minutes. May I know why?” Yuri asked, smirking as she glanced down for a moment in the direction of my neck then met my eyes again. Her smirk seemed to have grown wider after that. “I see you had a nice night.”Suddenly remembering what she could have just seen, I felt shy after the insinuation, also feeling self conscious about being questioned about something so intimate. 

I cleared my throat and attempted to speak only for it to come out in a stuttering mess. “I-I… I did. Um…” I bit my lip, trying to look anywhere else than the smug look I saw on Yuri's face right now but it proved difficult. As soon as we finally looked at each other, her expression softened and I could see she wanted me to talk about it but I however....wasn't one for explaining my life. Previously, I had seeing as I was talking about being normal, being with a man and I was confident with that but talking about having with a woman? That I didn't particularly want to do but I could trust Yuri....right?
Holding in my sigh, I looked around to check nobody was in earshot before leaning close to her, my lips just centimetres from her ear. "I...may have done something with someone I met in a bar" I couldn't help the blush that plagued my cheeks after my little confession. 

When I leaned back to see her face, Yuri’s eyebrows raised suggestively as she looked at me with slight suprise. “Huh" she paused, looking away for a moment as if to take that in "What happened to the innocent bible basher I met not so long ago?” I chuckled nervously, taking another bite from my sandwich as she nudged me playfully. “Details.”

“W-well she was… uh, like..." I rambled, not knowing where to start as my cheeks reddened further. Seeing how her eyes were encouraging me to continue, I did so while trying to rephrase. God it was strange to be talking about these things with a girl, about another girl.

“She was really pretty and I was so awkward." Just reminiscing over those painful interactions at the start of the night with Bora made me cringe "You have no idea..." I mumbled as I held my face in my hands. "Like...she was tanned and curvy and, seductive but… I don’t know, it was so bizarre. I guess one night stands aren't for me" I chuckled.

Yuri was already giggling next to me, her smirk still on her lips. She then looked at me while biting her lip playfully. “I didn’t know you were into girls that matched my description”

It only took a second for my brain to register what she had just said and in my shock I managed to gain the attention of the whole room by jerking my hand and tipping my tray on the ground while Yuri watched on in amusement. Trying to ignore the stifled laughter from both her and our colleagues, I got the mess cleaned up swiftly before sitting back in front of her with my no doubt tomato shaded face.  

“That wasn't what I was implying..." Her face fell for a moment and I feared I'd hurt her feelings but then she laughed. My head tilted in confusion until I realised, she was playing with me. I watched on as she finished pissing herself at my expense with a stern look on my face until her laughter began to die down. 
"Yuri, don’t play with me like that...." I pouted. 

“Oh, I never thought teasing you would be this fun. Don’t worry, I won’t try to seduce you.” She winked while I rolled my eyes and then let out a soft sigh. Despite being a little irked at her behaviour, as soon as I heard her snort I couldn't help a small smile gracing my face. 

Yuri....she's playful that's for sure but despite everything she does to annoy me, she's a good girl. She's comfortable to be around and I know I'd done well in befriending her. In this place.... she and a certain little blonde were the only joy I get out of this place after witnessing the other workers' despicable acts. She and Taeyeon were a way for me to push aside all of the crap I was feeling here.

I proceeded to tell her everything that happened that night, pausing now and again to scoff or roll my eyes at her reactions. It wasn’t until I finished that I got some advice from her, both of us now done with eating and just chatting a bit to kill time before it was time for us to go back to work.

“So, uh...you’re aware about your 'likes' now?” She asked carefully, her tone changing a little. I felt as if she was trying not to offend me or make me misunderstand her words. I smiled softly, sighing as it was still hard for me to say such things so… openly. Again, I knew I felt something for women but saying so was a whole different story. My whole life, I was raised with Christian beliefs and for it to change so fast and so suddenly… I’d need time to get used to it first.

“I guess…?” I replied, whispering so no one would hear me. "I don't know all the terms but....I think I like guys, and girls." My tone got lower as someone passed by our table. I was in Korea after all and myself being a CO and working in an all-female prison...my 'new' uality was not something my surroundings should know if I wanted to keep my job in such conservative country.

Yuri smiled proudly after my reply, taking my hand and squeezing it softly with a smile on her face. "Good girl. And please, don’t feel scared to ask me stuff alright?" She winked while I gave her one of my eyesmiles in return.

“Thanks. Really, thank you. That means a lot"

“No problem Hwang.” I leaned back into my seat after realising my posture had been rigid, with nerves probably. As I closed my eyes and stretched a little, a faint rustling caught my attention and I witnessed Yuri rummaging around in her bag until she brought out two small packets of those gummy worm sweets. She offered one packet to me while she opened hers and proceeded to munch on them like a school kid. 

She reminded me of Taeyeon then because of the kid thing and my mind once again was held captive by the girl in this prison. The girl who no doubt caused all of these problems in my life, but also the girl who despite everything, I was falling for. Absentmindedly I took the packet and stuffed it into my pocket instead of my bag as my thoughts whirled around in my head...that was until Yuri interrupted them again. 

“So....do you want to go out?”

Again shock, thankfully my tray stayed firmly on the table however my eyes and my jaw this time showed my surprise. I began to think of a response until she began laughing again allowing me to exhale slowly.

"Really?" I questioned, slapping her arm in distaste at her jokes.

"Maybe I should rephrase that." She chuckled "Do you want to hang out with me and my cousin tonight? She's cool..." Yuri reassured me. "We arranged a girl's night out to have a break from the stress of work blah blah and plus, everyone needs some fun once in a while. Maybe you want to join?" 

A slight sigh of relief escaped my mouth as she elaborated on her 'going out' idea and I listened intently as she placed a palm on my thigh, keeping my attention focused on her.

"And maybe....you and her could, you know..." I didn't need the wink or the wiggling eyebrows to know what Yuri was implying but she did them anyway, just adding to her suggestion. "She's more into guys but I think you two would get on well"

So, Yuri was really setting me up with a girl, her family in fact. Strange, either she really wanted me in her family or she was keen to make me forget about a certain someone, someone she hadn't mentioned but was obviously prominent somewhere in the back of her mind. Nevertheless, sleeping with a girl is a lot different than being with one; dating. Taking my eyes off of Yuri's for a moment to think about things proved to cause me to spiral into one of those deep confused moments. Taeyeon.

What actually was I to her? We aren't dating, but then again we haven't had for a while....maybe she just wants to be friends again? Not even friends, we were never friends. At least, we had made progress. I wasn't sure how she felt about me but it was obvious to see that I was feeling something deeper for her than she was for me. I-

Yuri's loud clearing of tore me from my thoughts yet again and I saw her eyebrows were raised, expecting my answer. But I couldn't, I couldn't answer. Now that Taeyeon and I had shared that moment, despite how she may feel for me or not feel for me....I felt for her and to sleep with someone or god forbid date someone else, I'd feel like I'd be betraying her. Also her reaction when I told her about my rendezvous with Bora, although I was teasing her I could clearly see that she was jealous. Jealousy proves that there is something right?

“I’m sorry…" I sighed "I would love to but…” My voice cracked as I attempted to keep it from doing that very thing, Yuri noticed immediately so I averted my eyes and bit my lip. I felt her gaze intensify just before I sensed her leaning forward with no doubt a stern look on her face now. 

“Is this about what I think it is?" She's smart, who was I trying to kid? "Or more like who I think it is?” Ashamed. I was ashamed. I was a correctional officer and look at me... I didn't even need to answer her for she already knew and I couldn't have been more obvious if I tried. I also couldn’t get my eyes to meet hers which now were probably giving me a pitiful gaze, full of disappointment
But to my surprise, she whispered again, softly and in a gentle manner. “Don’t let anyone play with your feelings, you hear me?”

I failed to keep my smile from showing, it was in relief because I was afraid I was going to get a lecture again about how I'd be fired because of my irresponsible actions but thankfully that wasn't the case. When Yuri's hand held mine and gave a reassuring squeeze, that smile grew. She felt like a big sister to me, and even if she didn’t reciprocate the smile when I lifted my gaze, her words showed that she was there for me despite everything I had done/ was doing. Just as I opened my mouth to thank her, the smile vanished when I saw the that helped to start it all, Park sitting right in front of me, next to Yuri. If I didn't hate his guts, I would have giggled a little seeing as as soon as he sat down, the sheer weight of him made the metal tables creak and shake a little. Seriously, being overweight in this career? Shouldn't be allowed.

He smirked at the both of us, and I could feel Yuri tense up at his presence.
“Well, what do we have here?" He grinned, seemingly forgetting what had happened between us when I stuck up for Taeyeon in solitary after he had touched her inappropriately. "You're what...BFF’s’ now?” He asked with a mocking smile as he waved a chubby finger between Yuri and I before opening up and chewing a packaged burger he had in his hand, the grease running down into the folds of his second chin. 

When none of us replied, he simply snorted while he rambled on about random while I prayed for break to be over. Yuri and I were sharing distasteful glances to eachother, both in the same boat clearly. We wanted nothing more than to leave.

“Don’t glare at me Kwon." He suddenly said, finally wiping that oil from his chin after he his fingers. "You’re probably just needy right? Being gay and all...." I frowned, he knew? Yuri didn't look surprised however and kept up her glare while he smirked, bits of his lunch stuck in his teeth. "A woman can't fulfill what you need Kwon...you need a nice meaty piece of man" he grinned, pointing down to you know what under the table; gosh he was making me sick. 

“Oh really? Is that so?" She retorted, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Tell me...does celibacy make guys greasy, disgusting s? Because you surely haven’t gotten any in years” 

I really didn't want to laugh, really....okay that was a lie but nevertheless it came out anyway because of Yuri's comment. I knew he was pissed, his expression showed anger but I could see he was trying to suppress it which surprised me because that guy was clearly capable of blowing. I would actually expect a guy like him could hit a woman.

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