`05
Nostalgia
"Why aren't you eating? Is the food terrible?"
"Huh?" I raised a dumbfounded face from the plate of spaghetti and stopped twirling it with the fork.
Insoo leaned in slightly after he put down his fork and spoon. He asked, "Yui, are you okay? You looked out of place. Are you unwell, perhaps?"
I shook my head and smiled as genuine as possible to convince him I was 'okay', whatever that word means to him. But I was sure that his definition of the word differed from mine at the moment. "I'm okay. Sorry, I just got lost in my thoughts." I resumed eating with no appetite.
After the shooting, my mind kept replaying the events that happened earlier that I no longer have the spirit to enjoy the date with Insoo. What happened at the set was that we kissed, Doojoon and I. It was part of the movie and I knew it would happen but it gave me a mental breakdown after the scene was shot.
Worse, we had to redo it about three times. I was extremely nervous because one, who kisses their ex after they've broke up? Two, my heart was racing like horses and three, it was too much too bear with my wreck of a feeling. I put up a facade that I was fine with the kiss, laughing it off and joked about it while we were shooting so that no one really noticed my real emotions.
While preparing for what was the last and perfect take for the scene, before we both get into our position, Doojoon muttered words that tugged my heart. "Yui-ah, don't be nervous and hesitate, alright? Just do it like we normally do.
"Do it like we normally do. I mentally scoffed when it echoed in my mind. Because that normal ended long time ago in case he wasn't aware of it. "Have you eaten here before?"
Insoo asked as a mean to fill up the silence and getting the conservation going. We were having dinner at a restaurant which is frequently visited by couples in the industry because the restaurant had special services to accommodate people like us. It was a hot spot for celebrities going out on dates. It's existence is a blessing for keeping us far from the eyes of gossip hungry netizens.
The real intention behind the question was wanting to know whether I had dated anyone before. I held my fork mid air and retorts back, "What do you think?"
Insoo eyed me and chuckled, "I'm guessing you have. Well, I admit I have."
I nodded, impressed that he admitted. "Once. Just once."
It was in the beginning of my relationship with Doojoon when we eat out here before having our usual meet ups at Yoseob's cafe late at night. I still remembered that particular night. There was another celebrity couple in the house and we were extremely aware of each others presence that we kept stealing glances, afraid our secret would be exposed.
Insoo had the conversation going on until dinner ended, steering me away from the evil thoughts of that person for which I was grateful. If it wasn’t for him and the date, I would be at home, curled up in a ball and replayed the scene over and over again.
“Yui,” Insoo spoke, pulling out his iPhone from his pocket, “can we exchange numbers?” He handed out his phone towards me and I quickly reached out for mine in my handbag.
“Sure, here you go.” I said with a smile and we exchanged numbers. He was the only date so far that has reached this point. He was delighted that I agreed so he followed up with another question, “let’s meet up again sometime? You’re a wonderful person and I want to get to know more about you.”
I blushed slightly and waved him off, “I’m not that exciting to be with but of course, just give me a call anytime.”
//////////
“And...cut! That’s a wrap, everyone! Thank you for your hard work!” The director yelled at the same time the movie slate clapped.
The last scene of the day includes all four of the main casts, Hyojoo, Insung, Doojoon and I. We bowed and thanked each other and the staffs for their energy spent that day. A glance at my watch showed both the long and short hand pointed at 12.
“Wow, Insung oppa, that was very impressive!” I made two thumbs up to the senior actor next to me and he patted me on the head. “You’re not so bad so yourself, kid,” he said.
“How about me? No praise for me?” Doojoon raised his brows as he eyed the three of us for someone to compliment him. Insung ignored him by whistling and Hyojoo just shrugged.
I had no choice but to say something. “Oppa, you’re Yoon Doojoon. One of the pioneer of acting-dol, of course you’re acting is great.”
He smirked arrogantly and we laughed when he adjusted his collar, “Well, thank you for reminding how great I am. I’ll treat you for lunch someday.”
Not wanting to spoil the chill ambient, I jokingly said, “Yes, yes you should.”
Hyojoo slung both her arms around Doojoon and I, pulling us close to her although she had difficulty matching her height with the boy. “Let’s go, kids! We don’t want to be late for our first production party.”
“By the way,” she turned her head to both of us, then back to Insung who just shook his head at her, “don’t these two look good together as a couple?”
“Eonni...” I whined. She was fond of Doojoon and I and like myself, she likes to ship people together but thankfully, she didn’t tried to set me up with Doojoon or else it would be a disaster.
“Noona, come on... We’re hungry.” Doojoon said.
Insung snickered and gestured to us both. “Hyojoo, stop torturing them already or they’ll die of embarrassment.”
Hyojoo and I hopped in Insung’s car after I dismissed my manager whom I taught wouldn’t be necessary to tag along while Doojoon drove his own car. The party was held at a restaurant that was booked by the director of the film and the four of us sat at the end of the table with the head of each team. We communicated with just the four of us since the rest was going about about their field of specialties that we had no room to chirp in.
I sat next to Doojoon because I wasn’t fast enough to grab a seat next to either Insung or Hyojoo.
“Are you two seeing someone these days? Like dating?” Insung asked in between chewing his food. Typical conversation among colleagues or friends never missed out on sharing about love life.
“No,” Doojoon and I answered simultaneously. We glanced at each other without saying any word.
“But Yui, didn’t you say you were seeing that idol guy?” Hyojoo recalled that time I told her I had a date with Insoo, the main vocal of idol group Myname.
I laughed off at her question, “It was just once. A friend of mine set us up.”
“So Eun and Jaerim?” Doojoon snickered. He knew how the couple was like because I told him before; when he asked me whether I had went to a blind date and even witnessed them trying to hook Yoseob up with someone.
I chuckled, glad that he remembered. “They have their unique ways of setting up dates.”
“Do you like the guy?” His question taken me aback. It was a serious question judging by the tone he used and he held his gaze on me. What was his definition of ‘like’ anyway? As in the the romantic way or the non-romantic ways ?
“What?”
“Insoo, I mean. Do you like him?”
“I,” I gulped and turned my attention from him, “we’ve exchanged numbers. Yeah, he’s a nice guy. We’re getting to know each other and have an upcoming date planned ahead.”
Doojoon nodded and gulped down a shot of Soju. He stayed silent while the conversation went on. I kept glancing his way when he continued gulping down five shots of Soju. He hates alcohol and he has low tolerance over it. It was weird to see him gulped five glasses and soon it would be his sixth.
I stopped him by placing a hand on his arm. “Oppa, are you okay?”
He waved me off and grinned foolishly. “I’m fine, I’m just drunk. Yeah, drunk.”
I snatched the glass from his hand and set it down on the table. “That’s enough, oppa.” He didn’t protested because he was tipsy and his mind was probably floating around as he stared at the empty glass. Why did you dismissed your manager when you wanted get drunk? I thought. I had to drive him home because I was the only sober person out of the four of us and the only one who knew his place.
When the party ended with most of the crew drunk, since there was no shooting the next day, I asked for his keys. I assisted him into the car because he can barely even walk and drove him to his apartment. Luckily he has no over the top drunk habit except for singing, so the whole ride to his place was filled with his slurry emotional singing.
I thought to myself as I lead him to his apartment, why am I doing this? I shouldn’t be caring about him and wrapping my arms around his. I even cursed at myself for remembering his lock password which I should’ve forgotten and he should’ve changed it.
“Oh, Yui.” He points his finger at me after I sat him down on his bed. “What are you doing here?”
He was out of it and I brushed him off. I strode over to the kitchen, filled up a glass of water, then return to his side. “Oppa, drink up.”
He emptied the glass of water without pausing and later collapsed on his bed. I stood by the bed, watching him. What was on his mind that he had to resort to drinking? And because of that, I’m here again. I took in my surrounding. His spacious room lacked decorations except for a photo of Beast hanged on his wall and everything was exactly the same as I remembered. His eyes were shut close so my work was done. I grabbed my phone and dialed a number, praying silently that the recipient was still awake.
“Hello,” the person answered.
“Yoseob oppa, it’s Yui. Did I interrupt your sleep?”
Yoseob replied from the other side, “Oh, no no. I’m playing video games currently. Why? Something wrong?”
“I’m sorry, oppa. But can you please send me home? I’m at Doojoon’s place and I need a ride. He’s out of it.”
Yoseob was surprised when I told him I was at his best friend’s place but he agreed to pick me up. I also told him to get his friend a hangover soup the next morning. As I turned my heels to exit the room, a hand grabbed my arm securely.
“Yui, don’t leave. I miss you.”
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