blinded by pain

I am because we are (Ubuntu) [Permanent Hiatus]
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What are they hearing?

 

Jongin blinks and Tao’s mouth gapes when they find Junmyeon’s disheveled state as they pay him a visit.

 

They hadn’t seen Baekhyun for a while now, and while they were all worried, the boys understood how much more this affected Junmyeon. After all, he was always the first one to think about their well-being. So when Minho informed them that morning to not expect Junmyeon at school, Jongin wasn’t even the least bit surprised and Tao immediately suggested to drop by.

 

The actual state the older was in though, did surprise them.

 

“Junmyeon-hyung, are you… alright?” Jongin approaches the older.

 

They found him in the kitchen, quietly sitting while looking out the window. It was noon and his lunch was served, but it remained untouched. He was fidgeting, clearly troubled while his hands absently toyed with his phone. Anxious.

 

Tao curled his arms around the older, bringing him into a tight embrace while Jongin sat in front of him. They stayed patient until Junmyeon decided to speak.

 

“It’s been three days.” Junmyeon croaks out; the bags under his eyes telling of the lack of sleep he has had. “He hasn’t replied for three days, Jongin.”

 

“Hey now, calm down.” Jongin wraps his hands around Junmyeon’s own and squeezes them. “Shhh…” Tao shushed, rocking their bodies as if lulling a child.

 

It was frightening to see Junmyeon, who was usually so calm and as composed as Minho, to be this utterly frazzled.

 

“Let’s not think about bad things, okay?”

 

Tao nods and adds, “Yeah, maybe he just, you know, forgot? Busy?”

 

Junmyeon adamantly shakes his head. “No. You don’t understand. Ever since we got him a phone he has always, always replied to me. Even when he started… moving… away,” a choke on his words, “he still replied to me. Now it’s been three days.”—

 

“How long has it even been since we last saw him on campus? A week?” Junmyeon in a huge breath, trying to tame his emotions that have been going haywire.

 

It was one thing to watch over Baekhyun from a distance. His shy hellos, the painful smiles he sent that spoke so much of longing. They figured the party must have been overwhelming for him so they figured to give him space. Regretted to have even invited him. So to reject all their invitations unlike before where his attendance was pretty much a given were all fine. They understood. But to completely lose sight of him and even contact? Junmyeon just couldn’t comprehend.

 

“Not even Chanyeol has received anything and I don’t know what to do.” The older rubs his face exasperated. “I’m worried sick. What if something happened?”

 

Jongin bit his lip. He and Tao looked at each other and they too… felt helpless.

 

All of them were worried. No matter how much they suspected Baekhyun, he was still a friend. The rest may not say anything but Jongin knew they all sent at least one message. He knew as well that if Junmyeon was distressed over Baekhyun’s disappearance, Chanyeol was far more.

 

 

 

 

♠♠️♠️

 

 

Contrary to his usual self, it was clear that Chanyeol was looking for someone. That was unusual and caught the attention of many.

 

He let it go the first two days. Baekhyun was still replying at least. A few words were better than none. The next were subtle, a peak here and there, a short visit to Baekhyun's building and department from time to time, hoping to catch even a glimpse of his figure. But now it has turned frantic. Yejin's random message made matters worse.

 

'Please make sure Baekhyun is fine. I'm worried.' She sent one night with no other explanation. Even when he asked why, he received nothing more.

 

Three days of nothing and Chanyeol's usual calm and indifferent demeanor was lost. Hiding his relationship with Baekhyun was now the last in his mind.

 

He first dropped by the café, practically storming in and rattling the customers inside. Chanyeol went on to ask Kyungsoo and his grandfather if they knew of Baekhyun’s whereabouts, but he came up short and even more confused, angry, and worried.

 

Kyungsoo had been just as worried sick as everyone else. He too received nothing from Baekhyun in the last three days. Here though, they learn that the address Baekhyun wrote in his employee data was fake, leaving Kyungsoo especially appalled for not realizing. That's why Baekhyun never invited him over? Did he fail as a friend?

 

Chanyeol’s mind went into pure chaos.

 

He left a dazed Kyungsoo behind soon after and entered the campus as calm as his palpitating heartbeat can manage, but he caught people’s attention the same by how rugged he looked and carrying probably the heaviest tension on his shoulders. Chanyeol was far from his usual unruffled state.

 

Jongdae chanced upon him then and knew immediately it was about Baekhyun.

 

"Did you see him?" He stood in front of Yongguk and his group’s path the moment he found them. Did not even care at the moment who they were or the past they had. He was desperate at this point. Bang Yongguk knew who Baekhyun was, they shared the same major, and most importantly, he was one of the people who knew about him and Baekhyun.

 

Jongdae rushed behind Chanyeol and immediately dialed Minho of the situation.

 

"See who?"

 

"Byun." Chanyeol said Baekhyun's name with no hesitance. The people around them were surprised to hear him utter a name other than his friends.

 

"What's it to you?" One of Yongguk's friends jokes, almost pissing Chanyeol off right then and there Jongdae had to hold him back. He has no time for humor.

 

"Did you see him?" Chanyeol asks again, glaring at the friend who joked and raised his hands in surrender, coupled with mocking laughter in complete amused disbelief of how the usual stoic prince has lost his cool.

 

Yongguk holds eye contact; but his confusion slowly unfolds when he begins to understand the situation and recognizes the look in his eyes as an old time friend. Chanyeol’s eyes spoke nothing but desperate.

 

It was apparent Chanyeol was losing patience. Yongguk’s friends clearly lacked any care nor did they take things seriously fo

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exocholic
[Ubuntu] Hello! Just to let everyone know, a little update on the last chapter, it's already on the works! It looks like it's going to be a very long chapter though. So I may have to see if I'll update with what I currently have or just the whole last chapter in one go. But finally getting there! 😭

Comments

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MyLipsOnEXOs
#1
This fic is definitely the perfect one for winter. If anyone scrolls the comments they’ll see how often I reread this! At this point I would buy a physical copy of it.
Maya1990
#2
Chapter 95: When I saw in the title that it's in permanent huatus I went to the last ch to see where did it stopped and I swear to god I cried .... the pain I felt was REAL, the last 1000 words broke my heart 💔 now I want to read the whole thing knowing very well it will get me depressed
JuliaByun #3
Chapter 95: August 2023 and I still long for this story 🥹 I keep coming back because it demands my attention. I hope you’re doing great and well authornim ❤️❤️
walkinginmoonlight #4
Chapter 95: Ahh sometimes I get reminded of this fic and just how like, lovely it is? It's been years since I've last reread it, but I still remember it fondly, gosh the times when it had just started I still clearly remember. I was just reminded of aff being a thing today and had to try and remember my login.. I cannot remember if I commented on this chapter already but! Even if it's not the complete end, it's half of the end, so we've come pretty far since the beginning 😊 I know updates went from quick to rather slow, but seeing it's been awhile I got a bit worried so checked your twitter, and it's nice to see you're still doing well! Or, seemingly doing well. That you're still around and still enjoying our EXOs~❤️ so I hope you are doing well! And thank you for the very memorable fic 😊
MyLipsOnEXOs
#5
I've lost count of which rereading this is but this shall definitely always be my comfort fic. Whether it's the writing style or the details or the flow or the characters or maybe all of that together, there's just something that has me always coming back.

I read this for the first time in 2018, 5 years later it still holds a special place in my heart. I usually avoid starting new fics that haven't been updated recently, but just like my very first comment on this fic "It's on permanent hiatus but the foreword has me entranced so I will read it", the story is truly entrancing and gosh I'm grateful I read it!
Exofanland #6
Chapter 95: had to reread the last few chap bc its been so long and yes i am still crying my eyes out.
dreaming777
#7
Chapter 95: Hi there, I've left my aff account for so long an happy to see this update!!!! And truthfully I didn't expect I would still bawled my eyes out 😭
uwuness
#8
i keep coming back here just to check if authornim's have an update but no rush authornim, i can still wait :)))))) i'll reread this again because i'm missing this so much~

take care always~
uwuness
#9
i miss this so much 😭
hearteututu #10
Chapter 95: I’m back after many years and this made me cry so much. I really love this story and can still remember every scene vividly. Tysm for this wonderful and heartfelt chapter 💕