sixty-four
I am because we are (Ubuntu) [Permanent Hiatus]
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We need to talk.
That was the only thing Yura had said on the phone with an unusually serious tone. It would be a lie if Chanyeol said he did not feel alarmed. A mere short phrase with reasons he had yet to find out is quite heavy not to be. He doesn’t even know what to think or how to start thinking when he is given not a single clue. And unfortunately, the lightness he felt after letting go of a vital past is replaced by anxiety.
Thankfully, Yura was at another café that was not too far from where he came from. Get this over and done with the faster the better, he thought.
And here he sits, outside an almost empty café across his sister facing the view of the bustling highway. Restless, like the cars that zoom passed. For every tick of the clock that his sister remains silent, his patience runs thin and tension rises from within.
“So..” He tries to start, urging his sister to speak. “What did you want to talk about?” But the heavy sigh she let out, the defeated expression she currently had, further worries him; a thousand thoughts running through his mind of what it could be.
“Yejin’s parents found out you’re in a new relationship.” Yura finally speaks, voice monotone like she is merely relaying unsurprising information, it isn’t. “It’s a good thing you opt out in introducing his name to our cousins. Who knows what they’ll do with that piece of information.” She watches her brother, but receives nothing but a cold blank stare. The surprise she thought he would have, none.
“I see,” is all Chanyeol says before he looks away back to the busy highway.
Unfazed by her brother’s cold expression, she continues. “They think it’s just temporary. They still believe you’re not over Yejin and this may just be.. a temporary fling.”
“Do mother and dad know?” he says without looking away the passing cars, finding a little comfort from the constant buzz.
“No. Let’s be thankful they’ve been busy overseas.”
At that, Chanyeol lets out a breath he did not know he held in, relieved at the very least. But the anger begins to coil inside him, worry now weighing his chest of the unpredictable future.
“But it will only be a matter of time before they find out.”
It was quiet for a moment, the siblings lost in their own thoughts. But while Chanyeol continued to watch the highway, Yura was watching him.
She can tell that behind her brother’s unfazed expression lies a restless heart brewing with worry. It was shown in the pale color of his closed tight fists. But she can most tell that Chanyeol was harboring anger. It was shown from his eyes alone, fiery and cold. And it amuses her, how her brother had never changed in that aspect. How his eyes always spoke the most. His boisterous personality, the joyful attitude he once held may have all been gone and a part of a past that once was. But the language of his eyes was never lost. It had never disappeared. And she remembers Baekhyun. How the young man was just the same. They speak through their eyes, holding volumes of their feelings than in their words alone.
They were meant for each other. There is no denying that. She thought as a ghost of a smile fleets her lips.
The silence was only interrupted when Chanyeol’s phone began to vibrate on the table. He answers it in an instant the moment he sees Minho’s name on the caller ID.
“Yes?”
Chanyeol?
It takes him a couple of seconds before he realizes that the voice on the other line is not Minho’s. And it takes another few beats before it finally sinks into him who owns it. And his mood instantly brightens.
“Baekhyun?”
H-Hi..
“Hey.” A faint smile pulls on the corner of his lips. This is the first time he is hearing Baekhyun’s voice over the phone. As different as it sounds, it was nonetheless still pleasant to his ears. It sends an immediate comfort to his troubled heart, completely wiping away all the negatives.
It was silent for a few long seconds that felt like a minute or two. They were both not used to hearing each other’s voices on a phone alone. It probably should have been awkward, but it was anything but. In fact, hearing each other’s breathing seemed more than enough.
And Chanyeol huffs out a silent chuckle, stopping himself from smiling like an idiot when he thought of how childish he felt at the moment; like he was some young teenage boy whose heart was bopping to the beat of his laughter ringing within as he spoke to an undying crush. But his faint smile blooms when he hears the TV in the background, Luhan and Sehun’s voices screaming something incoherent, Minho’s deep voice speaking to them, and then Baekhyun’s audible giggles.
“Is everything okay?” He decides to speak first.
Baekhyun doesn’t answer right away, but when he does, his voice was shy and meek. Yet the smile in his voice was apparent that gave Chanyeol the perfect image in his mind – bashful, but radiant.
What time are you.. coming back?
“Soon.”
Okay.
And the silence returns. Welcomed by both whose hearts were beating in glee.
This time, it is Baekhyun who breaks the silence first; muttering in an almost inaudible voice, yet enough for Chanyeol to understand.
Chanyeol?
“Yes, Baekhyun?”
The boys are here. Mimi and Foofoo too..
“I know. I did promise, didn’t I?”
Mmm, they miss you. All of them..
…even the cats.
Not able to hold back Chanyeol lets out a short boisterous laugh. “Oh they do? Then do tell them I miss them too, a lot.”
Okay..
And Chanyeol?
“Yeah?”
I’ll wait for you.
Chanyeol’s heart skips a beat. A short simple phrase, said in a shy pleasant voice, yet held a weight of love he did not fail to feel.
“I know, Baek. I know.”
At the sudden booming sound of Minho’s voice, Chanyeol lets out another laugh.
Yeo, elf ears. Baekhyun’s being all girly and shy—ouch!
“I’ll be back soon.”
Good. Make it fast; Baekhyun misses you, so horribly so—okay okay I’ll shut up jeez, this kid.
Across the table, Yura watched the whole exchange. Yet again given proof of how the hearts of her brother and his new lover were definitely, indeed, meant for each other. It was nothing but a short, innocent phone call. But it was enough telling how Baekhyun has become Chanyeol’s sunshine. Because his eyes that earlier sparked with fire and ice, now sparkled with happiness and delight.
If this were any past circumstance, Yura would have gagged and to bits. Her toes and fingers curling at how cheesy the smile his brother had on at the moment. But this is Park Chanyeol, whose radiant toothy smile and boisterous laughter was taken away by a painful event. The joy he once held absent for the many months that passed. And now it’s all back. Not the way it used to be, but in fact, far better. For this time, it was nothing but genuine.
When the phone call ends, another silence passes between them. Traffic now begins filling the highway as rush hour fast approaches. The horns of cars and public transportation fill the crisp air of the late afternoon. The hustle and bustle of people around coming from work, school, and other else crowds the pathways. And at the descent of the sun, Chanyeol’s smile fades to faint.
Yura finally breaks the silence when she asks a question, something that has been on her mind lately ever since she met Byun Baekhyun. However, unfortunately, it also brings back the cold expression on Chanyeol’s face.
“When do you plan on introducing Baekhyun to mom and dad?”
“Not anytime soon.” Chanyeol answers in a beat of a second.
“Chanyeol, you can’t hide Baekhyun forever. You and I both know that’s impossible--”
“I will not hide him. That is the least of my intentions.” He says in spite, looking back at her with apparent anger. “But he will meet them when he is ready. Only when he is ready.”
Yura clicks her tongue at her brother’s reply. Shaking her head but with a smile clearly amused. She lies back against her chair and folds her arms on her chest, looking directly into her brother’s eyes who looked back with nothing but a straight face.
“You’re really serious about him, aren’t you?” She says. “I have never seen you this serious before. Not even with Yejin whom we were all sure you’d end up with.”
“Look..” sighs Yura when she receives no reply nor reaction. “I know you’re only protecting Baekhyun. But like I said, it is only a matter of time before mom and dad finds out and before everyone else finds out. You can’t simply keep him in the shadows even if you wanted to. Sooner or later, the public is going to be informed that The Park Chanyeol and The Han Yejin have broken up for good. That The Great Merge of the two big families that people awaited will no longer happen.
Wouldn’t it better if you let our parents know first before the rest of the public pries in?”
“Baekhyun will meet them.” There was finality laced in Chanyeol’s voice. “But he will meet them when I say so. For as long as Baekhyun is not ready, he will not.
If they think our relationship is temporary, then so be it. If they think I am not serious, fine. Let them think what they want to think. For now, I don’t want Baekhyun drawn into the mess of this family. If it takes everything in my power to keep him in the shadows, then I will.
If mother was able to control my life before, this time, I will not let her.”
“But if the time comes that they find out, that mother finds out..” Chanyeol looks away back to the highway, eyebrows a furrow of anger as his eyes fleet to the red lights of the cars that pass. “Tell them I will not heed to any of their wants. If they are bothered at the fact that Baekhyun is an average citizen, tell them I don’t care. His middleclass status is the least of my concerns and I will not leave him just because of that.”
Across him, Yura is rendered speechless. But she is not surprised. She is left wordless for the utter seriousness that emanated Chanyeol’s words. At this moment, she is hit by the gravity of how deep her brother’s relationship has become with Byun Baekhyun. Not once has Chanyeol disobeyed their parents, it was only Yura who rebelled against their choices, their mother’s wants. But it seems, this time, Chanyeol is willing to move mountains for his lover.
A smile then plays on her lips after. She sighs, now not in defeat but relief and a sense of pride. How could one simple boy, affect a person so greatly.
♠♠♠
The skies have already darkened, evening has set in. It was a starless night and clouds still loomed up above. The streets were now bustling with heavy traffic, an unfortunate combination of rush hour and the holiday season. Yet it all does not hinder the excitement that coursed through Chanyeol’s body as he drove in silence. He remains patient, tolerant and pushing all the negatives of today aside with only one thought in his mind – Baekhyun is waiting for him.
Growing up in a household with busy parents, Chanyeol only has a few vague memories of what it is like to come home and be greeted by someone waiting. It is always he and his sister who greeted them a welcome home and not the other way around. Of course there was Aunt Yuhjung and Uncle Jangsoo. Their warm welcome was always appreciated. But it was still different. It wasn’t enough. And then he moves to his penthouse and started living independently and away from everyone else. Since then, he has gotten used to coming home to a dark empty space.
Tonight, however, it is different. There is someone waiting. And the thought alone flutters his heart. In his mind swirls a fantasy he imagined only a few times, never had he thought it would come true anytime soon or even ever.
When he opens the front door of his penthouse, his keys tingling loudly on the doorknob, what could be inside that awaits him?
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