Chapter 5

Kyuhyun groaned in annoyance, that freaking ringing sound so clear that it was bursting his non sensitive eardrums, feeling as if it was vibrating in his ear alone, shrill and sickening and why wouldn’t that goddamn thing stop?

He had stupidly prayed after the first loud annoying sound that it would stop but that didn’t seem to be the case, his body dragged out of sleep, though he was admittedly probably on the way already, rather disappointed that he was not asleep enough not to have heard it in the first place. He really wished that his ears were just as lazy as his mind was, but right then it seemed as if that was the only thing that he could perceive, lazily trying to ground his ear into the mattress and the pillow so that he wouldn’t have to deal with that damn annoying sound!

His plan failed though since it didn’t stop in the least, forcing him to actually take action and not just ignore it, figuring that maybe he could just find it and throw it against a wall or something and that would be the end of that.

Convincing his body to move though was much harder than he anticipated, another blurring ring as he lazily grabbed about the mattress, trying to get his hands on the stupid device that is very weak brain had happily identified to him as a cellular phone. Maybe it was an alarm or maybe it was a call, he didn’t know and honestly was much too drunk on sleep to try and figure that one out, just reaching around like a blind man, feeling everything as he grabbed at it, finally his hands falling on the device.

He wasn’t actually that happy to find it either, the dumb thing ringing in his hand, sending vibrations up his hand and Kyuhyun really was just on autopilot, familiar with this very thing, often being awoken by a phone call at ridiculous hours of the morning by his manager reminding him that he had a schedule and more often than not that the manager was already on the way to get him so he had better get a move on.

Somewhere in his mind he figured it was his manager calling to do the same, aware in the part of his mind still mostly asleep that he had to be somewhere that morning, but sleep seemed to be calling to him, wondering if to just end the call.

His manager never took kindly to that.

Better not piss him off, especially not since he was in charge of Kyuhyun’s luggage and after the few times that Kangin had gotten on the wrong side of Yongseon hyung and found himself without a toothbrush and underwear, they all knew better.

Their mangers were nice men, but they were best not to be trifled with if it could be helped.

There weren’t many people Kyuhyun would even contemplate answering the phone at what he could only assume was an ungodly hour, but he would do so for Junghoon hyung or suffer the consequences.

With that settled, Kyuhyun sleepily swiped the answer option with his eyes closed and mind far away in the last remnants of dreamland, still running on bear instinct and nothing else, not even glancing at the device as he dragged it to his ear, nearly entirely asleep, just supposing he could grunt a few times and that would be enough for Junghoon, who he was pretty sure was assigned to him that week, which meant that he definitely made the right choice in answering.

“Hello” He muttered voice hoarse with sleep and barely audible.

“Hyunggggg let me sleeppppp” Kyuhyun whined on instinct, hoping the sleepy aeygo would get Junghoon off his back for a little while.

“Huh?” the voice seemed to say.

“Hyung? Yesungie hyung?” A voice asked with a glaring question mark that could be heard through the phone, but Kyuhyun was still a little too dazed to notice

“Huhhh?” Kyuhyun asked rather dumbly, mind still groggy and figuring that he was hearing gibberish since he wasn’t really listening all too well, surprised that he was not hearing a fond but stern “Kyuhyun ah” said to him, which was odd, since he was nearly sure that he was hearing someone else’s name, which would mean that he had dumbly made himself awake to answer a wrong number, annoying starting to build, close to just hanging up.

“Hyung?? Is that you? Yesungie hyung” the voice answered with a question of its own quickly and Kyuhyun’s eyes opened wide instantly.

Wait.

Kyuhyun bolting upright to try to get his brain to work and his mind to process what was happening before he started to panic, bits and pieces coming back to him quickly, just as he looked at the phone in his hand, biting back the curse from his lips but doing nothing to stop it on his mind.

Oh .

Yesung’s phone.

Perfect.

“Yesungie hyung? Jongwoonie hyung??”

Kyuhyun was frozen, mouth hanging open in shock and not knowing what to do.

It was then that Yesung burst into the room or so it seemed to Kyuhyun, the older man making frantic gestures as he approached the bed, which Kyuhyun realized was him trying to say not to answer the phone, which was clearly too late, everything happening in a split second but feeling like a lifetime to Kyuhyun.

“Hmmm…..no…I’m not…it’s not…” GGGRRRRRRRRRR

Kyuhyun tried to speak but stopped quickly, instinct to answer but realizing that he had just made things a million times worst since he was much better off pretending that it was a wrong number and just hanging up.

 Jongjin, that was who the voice belonged to.

He could recognize it now much to his horror, his heart in his mouth and feeling as if he were dying, nervous and worried and wanting to kick himself in the head for his mistake, the phone set to answer calls without the security code, somehow or the other having the luck to answer Yesung’s phone when his brother was calling rather than just one of the members or Yesung’s friends.

If this wasn’t awkward already, Yesung was there giving him frantic gestures and worried eyes and Kyuhyun just wanted to hang up, but he supposed that may actually open more questions and Yesung was right to murder him for this one.

Yesung seem looked pale and flustered at the same time and Kyuhyun just wanted to just hang up and then beg Yesung not to kill him. Before he could do that however Jongjin spoke again.

“Wait” Jongjin said as if he came to a great realization and Kyuhyun wanted to die instantly.

Yesung seemed to be the same way, mouthing words to him a little frantically but Kyuhyun didn’t really know what to do, still wanting to just disconnect the call but from what he could make out Yesung seemed to be dissuading such an action, Kyuhyun making pained expressions, not knowing how he would get through this.

“Kyuhyun ah? Is that you?” Jongjin asked with some hesitancy and Kyuhyun swore he died instantly.

He nearly dropped the phone, Yesung clearly seeing his loss of mind, coming closer to try to get him to pay attention, but not sure what he could do then, Kyuhyun feeling light headed.

Until Yesung gave him a look of desperation and in that second he didn’t even know where it came from, but a burst of energy shot through him and he felt this blinding need to protect the person he loved, dragging his courage from where ever it was hiding.

He needed to keep it together, not just for his own sake but Yesung’s and the wellbeing of their relationship. This was his fault and he had to fix it. He wouldn’t do so by just falling apart and making things more obvious to Jongjin, who unlike Yesung was far from oblivious and was quite smart. He already had his suspicions and Kyuhyun was not minded to add to them if he could help it.

Answering Yesung’s phone now was a mistake, but he could fix it.

He could.

Right?

Oh God please let me be right.

“Yeah. It’s me, Kyuhyun” Kyuhyun said.

He supposed that he better sound less guilty and terrified least he made things worst. He needed to think things through, to deal with this with the comfortable wit and charms that he was famous for having for so long.

He could do this.

Once he didn’t look at Yesung, who was basically frozen, eyes wide and trying not to make an even bigger fuss, but damn! This was so stressful. Kyuhyun had just accepted that he was the one on the phone, which for Kyuhyun as well took more courage than he thought was possible.

He couldn’t screw this up!!

Silent deep breathes. In. Out. In. Out.

“Hello Jongjin hyung” Kyuhyun acknowledged with calm though his stomach was twisted in knots and he was just shocked that he had not choked on the words and broke down into a panicked mess.

He supposed he was only able to do it since he wanted to put on a strong façade in front of Yesung. The older man was looking extremely concerned, Kyuhyun having to put up a hand to hold him off, supposing it would be more awkward for him if Yesung approached. He was never able to think straight with Yesung around and for sure now he would have a problem if he came close.

He just needed to keep his eyes on him, to remember why he had to be strong and to handle the problem with strength and courage.

“Oh….hey Kyuhyunnie” Jongjin spoke, but his voice was tense, Kyuhyun practically seeing the wheels in his head turning, sure a question was coming and he wasn’t even close to being able to answer it just as yet.

Think Kyuhyun! Think!!

“Why do you have Yesungie hyung’s phone?” Jongjin asked straight to the point, another feature that was different from Yesung.

He was much more willing to deal with an issue immediately and not beat around the brush. His tone was polite and not accusatory, but Kyuhyun could certainly tell that there was a question being asked that he needed to answer, words between words, from the tone alone.

Kyuhyun was waiting for this question. Sure it would come. Jongjin was smart and sensible. There was no way that question wouldn’t come and Kyuhyun really didn’t have the time to think of a real answer, so had to pray that his brain didn’t fail him.

He had to take care of this. Yesung was depending on him!

With what he hoped was a reassuring look to the worried man standing a little distance away watching intently, Kyuhyun turned away, staring straight at the wall.

“Ahh…Yesungie hyung forgot his phone when he came over last night to check on Hae hyung . I had it here to give back to him when I saw him” Kyuhyun lied flawlessly or so he hoped anyway.

He tried to keep his voice steady and his tone easy and light, not as if he had the weight of it on his shoulders and if he didn’t fear for his very existence, his hands clenched until they were white, trying to get through this as best as he could. He had just basically thought of that excuse whilst it was coming from his mouth and wasn’t sure if it was the best thing to say, but it seemed logical and believable to him, so he hoped Jongjin would accept it.

That was when he chanced a glance at Yesung, who finally looked a little relieved, nodding his head and encouraging Kyuhyun to continue.

“Ahhh” Jongjin hummed in what Kyuhyun hoped was understanding, but with Jongjin he knew he had to take the point home.

“You know how he is” Kyuhyun faked a laugh, trying to sound like his normal teasing self, Yesung biting back a scoff from across the room.

“I am shocked he doesn’t forget himself with the way he acts” Kyuhyun laughed for real this time, Yesung making a face at him for his comments, but Jongjin was laughing on the line and he figured it was for the best.

 It was not as if he was lying either.

So damn forgetful.

“Unfortunately I have a lot of experience with Hyung’s forgetfulness” Jongjin laughed, which made Kyuhyun relax, the tone of Jongjin’s voice light and whilst Kyuhyun figured he would still have his suspicions, he was not coming directly to a conclusion for now, leaving at suspicions and no damning proof, so for now it was safe or so he hoped anyway.

“Anyway , I’m sorry for waking you” Jongjin apologized sincerely, Kyuhyun just grateful that it seemed that the conversation was winding down.

“Oh no, it no problem” Kyuhyun said easily, relaxing a little for real now, slumping against the bed head, his energy draining, just trying to end the conversation properly, Yesung at his side, dead quiet but reaching for him, a hand on his head to comfort him.

“Sorry again” Jongjin said once more warmly, which was good to help Kyuhyun’s mind settle.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. I’ll just have my revenge on Hyung. It is his fault to begin with” Kyuhyun laughed lowly, even as Yesung tugged the roots of his hair in warning, but it was good to have Jongjin laughing on the other end.

It felt good for a split second to just talk to Jongjin about the person they both loved, wondering if it would be like that once he was finally told the truth, but for now, this was the only pleasant part of the entire ordeal.

“You do that” Jongjin encouraged and Kyuhyun laughed once more, the situation very playful and fun, even if Kyuhyun was just grateful he had not just lost his soul.

“I won’t keep you any longer. Sorry again” Jongjin spoke once again with regret, and Kyuhyun was really just glad that the conversation was coming to an end, not sure how much he could handle. It was going alright, but his heart was still thumping in his chest and he just wanted to release the breath he seemed to still be holding on to.

“Goodbye” Jongjin greeted, waiting for Kyuhyun to do the same before he hung.

Thank God!!

Kyuhyun immediately let himself slide completely onto the mattress, all his energy depleted, releasing a heavy relieved tired sigh, as he closed his eyes, patting his chest to get his heart beat to slow down just a little.

“Kyuhyun ah-“ Yesung began, his voice relieved as well, but still tight from the anxiety that seemed to have been coiling around his lungs and throat, having so much to say but not even sure where to begin, needing to comfort Kyuhyun, the younger man looking paler than usual which was even closer to white, Kyuhyun looking as if he ran a marathon, dead tired and spent, the strength it took to get through that without dying the same amount he expended on his debut stage.

Whatever else he would have managed to say however was put on hold when the house phone rang, both Yesung and Kyuhyun jumping at such, Kyuhyun’s eyes widening, almost as if he were experiencing PTSD, which in an exceedingly mild way was probably similar, the last few minutes of his life really taking him to a whole new level of stress.

Before he could even get his heart to settle, the phone rang again, drawing them out of their fear induced stupor to a more panic driven one, Yesung’s eyes bulging before he came to a decision, mumbling that he would be right back before he turned and bolted to the door, likely going to get the phone before it continued to ring and caused them any more stress.

Kyuhyun wanted to tell him to be careful with what he said but his mouth couldn’t open, his mind a little shaken and then terrified that Jongjin, who he assumed was the one calling, would hear his yelling and that would be even more troublesome, so kept his mouth shut.

Yesung had heard his lie, so hopefully would match what he said.

He groaned low in his throat when he heard Yesung answer the phone, by then just lying nearly spread eagle on the bed that was not his, now that he had the chance to recollect the whole thing, the sheets sleeping like Yesung and now himself, patterned and unlike the ones he had at the dorm, the sun barely filtering into the room, so if he had to guess , he would suppose that it was just a little after six in the morning, the light faint but pleasant enough, eyes glancing around the room but not really able to take in the décor, still much more concerned with just settling his racing heart and thanking the heavens for getting him through that one unscathed.

Or so he hoped anyway.

If Jongjin really was as suspicious as Yesung had said, then that little terrifying episode would just lead to even more suspicion. At least, he didn’t ruin everything though and make things even harder to deal with, he comforted himself.

He was an idiot for not paying attention to who’s phone that he answered in the first place. He was just so sleepy and warm that he didn’t even realize that he wasn’t in the dorms, his mind too far away to show caution. When they were in the dorms, Yesung usually kept his phone on the bedside table or more on his side, and was such a light sleeper that even if it rang in the mornings, so it had never been a problem until now.

In this house something was bound to go wrong.

Sigh.

Why did he come here again?

Because you love Yesung and wanted to see him so badly?

Well…..there was that.

Kyuhyun closed his eyes and heaved a sigh, carefully listening to Yesung match his story in the other room, claiming that he had visited the dorms after he last spoke to Jongjin and had left his phone there, Kyuhyun just glad that he got the words to sound fairly nonchalant.

 Yesung was never the best liar, which was an adorable quality most of the time, especially since it was so hard for him to lie to Kyuhyun about anything, but in tense situations like the one they were facing, Kyuhyun couldn’t help but wish that he was better at it. For now though, he seemed to be getting by, especially when the conversation seemed to switch to whatever that Jongjin was looking for Yesung at 6 o’ clock in the morning to discuss.

Kyuhyun zoned out by then, just trying to settle his heart and mind, though he obviously was not that successful, his mind playing back the entire conversation, analysing each line that was said and especially careful to consider the tone of the words exchanged.

Yesung was right. Jongjin was definitely suspicious, but he didn’t think that the older man had realized that Kyuhyun was asleep in his brother’s bed at their home after he had spent the night there showering him in deep kisses and a roaming hand.

 It was awkward to even think about for him, much less what it could have been if Jongjin had been more stringent on his questioning. Kyuhyun supposed that realistically Jongjin really didn’t have any reason to go that far. He doubted that Jongjin was conscious of Kyuhyun’s relationship with Yesung enough to even consider that Kyuhyun was sleeping in Yesung’s bed.

If he did though, Kyuhyun was sure they would be dead.

They would have to come clean eventually. They both knew that they would, except if they broke up and decided to bury the whole thing, but Kyuhyun prayed with every fibre of his body that such a thing never happened. He wanted a real future with Yesung, or as best as was possible with someone in his position and for that to happen, one day they would have to admit to it.

 Yesung had been quiet on the issue since that last time that they had dealt with things like that. From that time, Yesung had admitted that he wasn’t ready and Kyuhyun was just the same. There was no real shame in it. They had a lot to lose and they were both afraid of how things would go, especially since they both had so much they wanted to do. Kyuhyun still had to serve in the army and things like that. It would all happen in due time. As anxious as Kyuhyun was, he wasn’t in such a rush that he forgot what could happen if they were rash.

He and Yesung were in agreement under that point.

It was  not just because they were both unwilling to spill the truth that Kyuhyun felt as if he were knifed in the gut, but more in line with the fact that Kyuhyun wanted the reveal to be heartfelt and sincere and genuine. He wanted to get on his knees and beg their parents to please accept it and let them have their happiness together. He didn’t want to get caught in a situation where their families, especially Yesung’s, saw them as disrespectful and reckless. He wanted there to be honour in that moment, not shame and embarrassment and an inability to look them in the eye. He doubted he would be able to do that even if it were in a better setting, the fear would kill him, but even so he would like the option.

He wanted it to be on their terms not by some ridiculous mishap. It also didn’t help that Kyuhyun was positive that Yesung would think it was his entire fault and then be hesitant to acknowledge their relationship. Kyuhyun had thought long and hard about this and despite what Yesung liked to claim, Kyuhyun knew him better than he knew himself. Kyuhyun hoped that Yesung would always stand by their relationship, but wasn’t sure they were at a point where he could be certain of that.

So much to worry about.

Sigh.

At least he didn’t think Jongjin had figured it out, and whilst Kyuhyun was sure that the older man would remain suspicious, it ended well or so he thought anyway.

This was so damn hard.

SIGH.