Chapter 1

Kyuhyun leaned his head against the headrest tiredly.

His car already parked in the garage of the imposing apartment building, phone in his hands being turned around aimlessly, tired so much so that he felt an ache in his bones, but that last energy drink and boaster he took still left a little in the tank or so he hoped anyway.

He would have been advised against this for sure, better off going home and just sleeping, tired from the travelling and promotions and the freaking country choose right then to be colder than a glacier, the heating in his car on high and probably the reason why he chose not to just walk over to the building just on the other side of the complex.

Or maybe he would have chickened out if he walked.

Probably.

He really wasn’t sure about this to be honest. It was why he was wasting precious time sitting in his car in the garage of Yesung’s apartment building, sitting like a loser inside of his car instead of going upstairs and seeing his boyfriend that was supposed to be waiting for him.

Or so the text message that he had just read for the umpteenth time said to him.

Early, after he had finished what felt like a million years of schedules, from lengthy mini concerts to tedious fansignings and then a live music show performance and the ending live stage at Music Bank, he felt as if he had been run over by a pack of wild dogs, so tired was he.

Also, it didn’t help that today was one of those days that he didn’t win, but then again, he supposed it was an honour to even be nominated with someone as legendary as Toy.

It was truly an honour, but his pride was still a little wounded, having gotten accustomed or rather spoilt more accurately with his numerous victories thus far, his tally putting it at about five or so. It was way more than he anticipated but still grateful all the same, enjoying the solo success even when his body felt as if it were breaking apart.

He supposed that was life and he had no choice but to live it.

Actions had consequences and everything came at a price.

He didn’t like the timing of the solo release, but there was no helping it and it just so happened that the market odds worked in his favour, the time span bare of strong competition and a good ballad after a while of heavy hip hop. It was unfortunate that he had to clash with Toy now, but he had a chance to rule the market for a while and Kyuhyun was the type of man that understood that gratitude was necessary. He was grateful for his opportunities and his chances and he willing to bear its consequence.

It was true what they say; he who wears the crown must bear its weight.

This time the price of solo success was a rough gruelling schedule sent from the Kpop hell that wanted to the life out of him. He had no choice but to endure though. His solo work could not come at Super Junior’s expense, especially since it was already hard enough without Yesung and Sungmin had already caused a bit of a stir, it was best not to provoke their fandom any more than necessary and honestly he really wanted to do right by Super Junior.

He couldn’t in good conscience abandon them, the band that had raised him up in their time of need. It was not in his nature to do so and he was pretty sure he had a tiny boyfriend upstairs that would strangle him if he ever dared.

That being so, as tired as he was, he still had a round of Super Show concerts to attend to the following day with a midday flight to Taiwan and then a musical shoot when he returned. He wasn’t sure that one was a good idea, but the SM executives seemed to think it was a good idea to capitalize on all the positive exposure and he couldn’t see any flaws in their logic.

There was a time for working and a time for resting and now was certainly his time for work.

Somehow or the other  he would find a way to get through it all. It was not the first time that he would have to get through a difficult schedule and he would be content in the knowledge that it was all in the pursuit of his ultimate dream and ambition.

That way, he could in a way enjoy breaking his bones.

 Like what Yunho had Changmin memorize – It’s not work if you are serving your true purpose” .

Changmin despised it and probably Yunho too [but not really or AT ALL] but it was something that he adhered to and shared with Kyuhyun when he thought Kyuhyun would drown under the weight of his work load. He was grateful for a friend like Changmin, even if he was an most of the time.

He was also grateful for a very understanding boyfriend that did not mind that he had had basically next to no time at all for him and when he did manage to spare a couple minutes, it was just a quick text that was written on autopilot. Yesung himself thankfully didn’t seem to mind very much.

Not that He really should either….the things we have put up with. Oh PLEASE

Snarky mind aside, Kyuhyun was still grateful that his boyfriend had been unbelievably supportive and understanding through this entire solo run, which really made things less troublesome than it could have been.

He had nearly choked on his tongue when he saw him waiting for him backstage at Music Bank when he had won. Donghae had hinted at it of course, but at the time he thought that he was just teasing him, which Kyuhyun was ready to break his face for later, after he had thanked him profusely for being there.

He knew Donghae flew to Korea directly instead of flying to Beijing with Leeteuk and Eunhyuk just so that he could be there with him, so he really couldn’t even begin to thank him. He had special affinity for Donghae, something that they both knew and really didn’t help that Donghae was basically Yesung’s child or “jjokkeumani” as he liked to call him and somehow the other he was dragged into that crazy family tree…….and he quite liked it too.

He was really happy that Donghae was there and was thrilled to share that moment with someone that he adored completely, even when Donghae was his normal overly affectionate embarrassing self, nearly choking him to death in his eagerness, but with all things related to Donghae, he found it easy to forgive the older man, since it always came from a good place and really, he was just happy to have him there.

Not so much when he touched his philtrum though since it was distracting and reminded him of Yesung and he didn’t admit it then, but he was a little sad that Yesung had not come to his stages before, but had tried to rationalize it away, reminding himself that Yesung was busy too and that if he came to the broadcast station it would be hard for fans not to want to take pictures of him and it was better that he did not cause a commotion for the pre-recording and maybe he was busy for the live endings?

 Yesung had diligently called him after each performance however and offered his congratulations and sometimes advice on how he thought Kyuhyun could improve. It was nothing pushy or annoying, just mainly him trying to be useful. Kyuhyun took it in stride and found some of it useful indeed.

Wins however were not celebrated as they ought to have been though, not enough kisses honestly, especially since he had to be in Beijing the following days and then he had a day from hell when he returned. Yesung was nice to him and called but he really wanted to be spoilt.

 Time was their enemy though.

That day he got to see him though and it was wonderful to share those moments with him and, also it was good in that it saved Donghae from being tortured for teasing him. Turned out the idiot was just trying to demonstrate that Yesung sent his regards. He couldn’t come and suffocate him on stage like Donghae had done, but if he could have, he would have been right there beside him. He was reserved backstage though since staff were around and Victoria as well, but he had spent some time thereafter with Kyuhyun and he really enjoyed it.

That was exactly a week ago though and since then he had not seen him at all. The best they had managed was a quick phonecall sometime midweek, Kyuhyun forgot which day and a few scattered text messages, though they mainly came from Yesung reminding him to eat or sleep, even though they both probably knew that such a thing was unlikely given Kyuhyun’s current circumstances.

It was why Kyuhyun was so desperate to see him then honestly.

They had gone longer without seeing each other, but during those times Kyuhyun felt closer to him metaphorically than he did now, likely being more personal than anything related to the status of their relationship.

Now that he was so drained and overworked he found himself missing the older man even more, his few minutes of rest in the car on the way to schedules spent in thoughts of him and would it would be like to be with him. It wasn’t pining per se but more in line with his mind and body missing the thing that it had come to associate with comfort and affection.

With that in mind you would think that he would be brisk in heading towards the man that he longed to see, but there was something that kept him rooted to his seat in what was turning out to be a cold garage, having switched off his engine and the last remnants of the heat in the car dissipating as he tried to bribe his courage to come out from where ever it was hiding.

He was a just a little bit…………terrified.

Yesung really had the dumbest ideas sometimes honestly.

What in that idiot’s mind made him think that Kyuhyun would want to come to his home? He had sent Kyuhyun a text earlier asking him if he were free later and if he were to let him know. Kyuhyun wasn’t really free honestly, his body feeling wrecked and overworked and he was best advised to get some much needed sleep but had instantly felt a little invigorated with the idea of seeing his boyfriend after a long time. Thus he naturally claimed that he was after a while when he was free to answer the message and then was then met with excited emoticons and Yesung asking basic questions with regards to time and the likes. Kyuhyun was sorry to inform that he was unlikely to be able to see him any time before twelve, which turned out to be accurate, a glance to the car’s clock letting him know that it was 12:17 am and he was not there as yet. With that settled, Yesung had requested that he come to his home and meet him when he could, stating that he would be waiting for him.

Kyuhyun was flabbergasted.

He never really had to meet Yesung anywhere other than the dorms, since public dates were out of the question, especially with Dispatch out and about prowling and seemingly with an agenda. Yesung and by extension Kyuhyun had no intention of being any one’s meal ticket and had buckled down even more, trying their best to keep out of sight in that regard. Public appearances together were possible of course, but on the off chance that they slipped and fell into the more delicate intimate conduct that seemed to surround them, it seemed better not to tempt fate in that. Kyuhyun hated that honestly, but he was a practical man and had a firm understanding of their reality. There were just some battled that he would lose.

Yesung therefore had shocked him with his request.

Especially since he knew Kyuhyun would be terrified to even go anywhere near his home.

The dorms was “their” home basically. It was the place they could be together without stress and worries, to just bask in each other’s presence and not worry about the outside world. It was not luxurious by any means, the place still small and dusty, though it did help that Kyuhyun had been bold enough to snag the bigger bedroom after Yesung moved out, but it was really not the most exciting place.

Even so, it was theirs and that was good enough for Kyuhyun. He could kiss Yesung and hold him and cuddle him and just be with him, so he had no reason to complain at all.

It was not be the same at Yesung’s house though.

Kyuhyun would die from awkwardness and if he had to speak to Yesung’s family he was sure he would throw up. He could barely look Mrs. Kim in the eye now and had taken great pains in avoiding her and Yesung’s family as best as he could without adding suspicions. It was a hard task since Yesung was always rambling about his mother, overly attached as he was generally and it really did not help that Mrs. Kim and his own mother were such good friends that they often spent time together. If Kyuhyun happened upon her he would greet politely and try to be out of there as quickly as possible.

Mrs. Kim had always been nice to him and with perfect ignorance she continued to be so, but just seeing her made him feel sick and worried and awkward and it was hard to be near her now that he was sure one day he would be begging her to let him spend his life with her very precious son. It really was just too awkward for him to handle, guilty because he had secret to tell and terrified of what her response would be whenever he and Yesung ever had the courage to tell their families.

Mr. Kim was cordial generally but often short on words and Kyuhyun had never really needed to have long interactions with him other than what he would have with everyone else’s family and that was good enough for him. The same feelings applied though, so Kyuhyun was often trembling just to say greetings when they met now and he was sure one day he would faint, so avoided him as well.

He and Jongjin were of good relation but the few seemingly knowing looks Yesung’s brother had sent to him from time to time had him very worried. He had asked Yesung about it before, asked whether or not he had told Jongjin about them, but he had replied in the negative, though he did admit that he believed that Jongjin had his suspicions but was content to hold his tongue for now. With that in mind, Kyuhyun also tried to avoid him when possible, speaking when necessary and honestly just so very busy that he had no time for Yesung, much less anyone else.

With all those considerations in mind Kyuhyun couldn’t possibly see how on earth Yesung could think it was a good idea to make Kyuhyun come to a place that he feared so much. Kyuhyun didn’t even go to the housewarming, saying that he was tired. Yesung didn’t mind, pretty much figuring out why Kyuhyun had stayed away and from his mother’s recounting of the day, Yesung had made himself scarce from her presence as well, so it was mutual generally. Kyuhyun really just couldn’t see how Yesung could think he would want to be there of all places.

Were they home? Could they be home in a little while? Did Yesung want him to meet up with them?

 If so, then he would murder him for not telling him!

He had a million questions but so far had avoided asking them, not wanting to appear panicked even if that was what he probably was. If Yesung wanted to take that step and reacted like a coward then there was no telling what damage could be done, but he really didn’t think he was even close to that point and Yesung really should discuss that with him first!

With Yesung’s warped mind it could be a test of sorts and if he made a scene he would fail miserably and that could have consequences that he would be unable to recover from. It could potentially send their relationship backwards when they were just getting better at that forward movement thing and all. He had gotten so good that he would call Yesung his boyfriend to his face and Yesung would just smile now. Before he would get this strange look in his face. So many changes after that little stumble they had. That could be changed though. It felt like a test that Kyuhyun would fail.

It was all so damn *stressful!

He didn’t want to go, but if he messaged Yesung and said he was going to give up the chance to see him after so long because he was terrified that he would run into his parents whilst he was there. Yesung was anything but nerveless, so he would be likely making a fool of himself for freaking out but really, he just couldn’t help how he felt.

And sitting there in the cold stewing really was not helping anything at all.

He really ought to just it up and get on with it before Yesung got tired of waiting on him and he froze to death because he feel asleep in the cold and died and then Yesung would certainly be very mad at him. He probably wouldn’t even come to his funeral because he would be so pissed up at his coward for a boyfriend.

Sitting there was making him even more insane honestly.

Time to get on with it.

Somehow or the other he managed to psyche himself up enough to get out the car and head towards the elevator five minutes later his first resolve was broken, wondering seriously if he would claim that he was too tired now to come, but eventually dismissing it entirely.  He really needed to see Yesung, even if it was just to drag him outside the apartment or in his bedroom for a few minutes. He didn’t even need a kiss. He could live with just hugging him for a few seconds. Plus it was late, so maybe Yesung’s parents would be asleep or something hopefully.

 In that way he convinced himself to go for it.

Even so, that didn’t stop him from slumping against the elevator walls, mind lost in the possibilities, hands fisted at his side, nervous and itching to escape the elevator and hit the underground floor again, trying his best to keep it together.

By the time the elevator dings Kyuhyun had given himself at least three pep talks as to why he needed to do this and ran at least three simulations in his mind as to how he could speak to Yesung’s mother without breaking into a cold sweat.

Honestly he could pretend to just be a dongsaeng wanting to see Yesung and lie or something. It was not as if Yesung didn’t spend time with his dongsaengs anyway. Yesung always had Donghae over and that was never a problem. He could be just like Donghae!

Except Donghae didn’t crave to kiss Yesung senseless just at the sight of him.

Or at least he had better not!!

He was going to give himself an ulcer if he continued. He could do this. He really could! He was a very strong minded person and had dealt with a lot in his life, even a near brush with death. He could certainly handle a pint sized women that asked everyone if they ate and gave them snacks and affectionate pats to the back and called them “son” whenever she saw them.

He really could!

Which was why he took at least three minutes just staring at the door, hand raised to knock but holding back each time, still crippled by uncertainty and nearly positive that he was not ready to deal with Yesung’s family just about then. He was tired and unprepared and what if his messed up tired mind lost control and he acted inappropriate with Yesung? What if he touched him and hugged him and kissed him because he was so desperate to do it and they got caught? How was he supposed to explain that? He was feeling dizzy again.

He really was going to die. The things Yesung did to him, seriously.

With another pep talk and some rationality being allowed to enter into his mind, reminding himself that Yesung was nearly paranoid when it came to their relationship and would not in any way allow Kyuhyun to expose them that way and that since it was so late, the chances were more in his favour that Yesung’s parents were asleep and would be none the wiser to his presence and the fact that Jongjin would probably be busy with his own things and not be interested at all in why he was there helped calm his mind a little, making it possible to gather his courage.

He managed to finally press the doorbell, doing it twice like a dolt because he was so nervous and then wanting to kick himself in the head for being so stupid. Why did he do that? He could have woken Yesung’s parents with the doorbell.

Why didn’t he just text Yesung and say that he was outside?

Grrrrrr………he was an idiot!

Scratch that.

He was a massive idiot.

Especially since he was so busy banging his head against the door and making more noise stupidly enough that he didn’t even realize that Yesung had come to open the door and had basically stumbled forward, crashing into a surprised Yesung, the smaller man’s eyes going wide when an equally surprised Kyuhyun came tumbling forward, losing his balance and releasing a very unmanly squeak.

That would definitely impress Yesung’s parents….pfffff.

The fact that that was all he thought about as he fell a bit forward should have been worrisome considering that he would likely knock Yesung over as well and cause them both pain and himself more embarrassment.

He was spared from such a gruesome fate however when Yesung managed to grab hold of him, his small hands attaching itself to Kyuhyun’s waist and steadying his lower body, though there was nothing that could be done for his upper body, though Yesung was sensible in holding his ground, allowing Kyuhyun to fall against him. Yesung controlling the velocity, eased his weight significantly, shoulders strong enough to hold onto him, Kyuhyun a little useless honestly, surprised and distracted so not offering much assistance, though he did eventually try to grab onto Yesung’s shoulder to steady himself which was mainly due to instinct rather than actual thought. Only one connected, though it did help, Yesung tightening his hold the control the movement, happening in a flash. Kyuhyun yet again released an embarrassing sound when his chest hits Yesung and arms hug him close, letting his head hit somewhere near Yesung’s shoulder but really it was more against that big head of his, Kyuhyun glad that he didn’t knock his nose and damage it and really glad that they had not fallen to the floor, Yesung holding them both upright and strong, though his legs did tremble a little bit, he held him upright as Kyuhyun breathed, not removing himself even as he was saved.

That was embarrassing but could have really been worse, mind distracted so not freaking out over the fact that they were half way hugging in the doorway to the large apartment, Yesung still for a second before he laughed.

“Who is the clumsy one now huh?” Yesung teased with a knock of his head to Kyuhyun’s and that annoying laughter of his that was filled with mockery but really more amusement than anything else.

He was really not expecting to have Kyuhyun falling all over him, but grateful that he was in a position to catch him and not have to see him get hurt. If the brat had fallen he would have broken his nose on the hard tiled floors.

He wondered briefly what had caused the fall but was mainly just thankfully that there was no harm done other than to his shoulder that had taken the brunt of the weight but had  since made the adjustment so that he didn’t have to be so unsteady anymore, interested in teasing now.

“Still you” Kyuhyun responded cheekily, though he really was in no position to do so.

That little fact seemed to escape his notice however, lips twisting into a smile, not even embarrassed that he basically fallen on his tiny boyfriend, his nose close enough to smell Yesung’s cologne. With that little push forward and soon nuzzling against his shoulder and neck he could feel the tingles caused by the heady scent of that cinnamon coffee mix deep in his stomach casually making its way to his toes, momentarily forgetting that he was supposed to be terrified of the house. He was just so relieved to finally be in Yesung’s arms, the small hands strong and true at his back and funnily enough, it was nice to feel protected once again.

He missed his so much.

“I should have let you fall” Yesung stated with a roll of his eye, something that he seemed to do very often with the brat in his arms. He was always just so damn cheeky honestly, that right then he contemplated letting the brat hit the floor and break his stupid nose.

He was lucky he loved him much honestly.

“Probably” Kyuhyun laughed, accepting that he was a bit of a brat and should have been a little more thankful.

In all honesty though, Yesung was the one that had first and it was unlikely that he would not have responded in kind and that was a fact that they both understood. The teasing they shared was always good naturedly and it was really just the way that they felt comfortable talking to each other.

In fact, the cheeky barbs had nearly allowed Kyuhyun to forget why he had spent so much time being afraid of being in that house. So much so that he was basically hugging Yesung, his hands wrapped around the hand’s chest to steady himself and not actually fall after Yesung had basically caught him, in front of the man’s house, out in the open where they could be seen not only by people in the hallways but Yesung’s family.

“It would have been deserved” Yesung grumbled with a tug of his face, his features scrunching up a little in a show of distaste for Kyuhyun and his bratty behaviour, though that only made Kyuhyun laugh some more.

This action however forced Yesung to take a step backwards, Kyuhyun’s weight increasing as he relaxed a little, the force of which forcing the smaller man backwards to steady himself. The action not troublesome, but enough to finally alert Kyuhyun to his position, which in turn alerted him to his carelessness and the danger that he was permitting, lightning fast in extracting himself immediately from Yesung, taking two steps backwards in fact, wanting to get away from him.

The fear that his boyfriend’s presence had pushed away had refused tenfold, Kyuhyun backing away in instinct, Yesung giving him confused looks but Kyuhyun too nervous and worried to even remember Yesung was there looking at him as if he had lost his mind.

In a way he had of course.

He was immediately paranoid that someone had seen the two of them, taking a step back to frantically look down the hallway, though he knew somewhere in the back of his mind that it was only like a minute he had been there with Yesung and it was frightfully late and most importantly, he had not heard or seen anyone pass by and with basic common sense, it was really useless to look out that way now.

There was no telling him that now though.

He was compelled to do the same to the area behind Yesung, wanting to clear his mind of the prospect of Yesung’s parents being somewhere right there looking at him touching their son with impure intentions, but he was too cowardly to even take a step forward to look, acting like a headless chicken honestly, just without the words, eyes wide as they darted around, hands going to his pocket to comfort himself.

He only came back to reality a bit when Yesung grabbed his wrist, small hand and even tinier fingers that just about held on to his wrist properly, the hand warm as it always was, Kyuhyun’s eyes following the hand that latched on to him until he found Yesung’s eyes, finally realizing that the older man was speaking to him.

“What on earth is going on with you? You look weird now” Yesung commented, a measure of concern, but mostly just confusion, shaking his head at Kyuhyun, dismissing it as Kyuhyun being weird, which was actually pretty common he thought or maybe just tiredness?

He knew he was tired, but the vast parts of his mind that had convinced himself that Kyuhyun as up to spending time with him, so he was more than willing to let it go just for his own selfish reasons. Right about then it was not uncommon for Kyuhyun’s mind to drift and he probably just lost focused momentarily. Kyuhyun met his eyes then and seemed to smile a little when Yesung smiled at him both comfortingly and with amusement.

“N-nothing” Kyuhyun managed a stuttered response and a weak smile, feeling a little put off but not sure how to vocalize it. He had enough time to talk some sense into his mind, recognizing that no one passed in the hallway and he clearly did not see Yesung’s parents anywhere about so far and Yesung didn’t seem that concerned and he was a worrywart, so he really should calm down.

He was so damn uncomfortable and worried though.

Despite that he smiled again, stronger this time, but it looked even weirder, Yesung giving him a critical look, the hand at his wrist squeezing tightly in what was supposed to be comfort, Kyuhyun exhaling and trying to make himself seem less like a frightened child, more successful this time.  Yesung looked at him with those eyes, narrowed and contemplative before he seemed to convince himself that Kyuhyun was fine and he had nothing to worry about.

That prompted a smile from the older man, small twisting of his lips and warmth radiating from him. That was enough to trigger a real smile from Kyuhyun, his heart’s worries easing at the sight of his beloved, which had the effect of really convincing Yesung that there was nothing amiss.

“Come in” Yesung invited as he dropped Kyuhyun’s hand and waved him in, or he did so anyway, it was just that Kyuhyun didn’t budge, not even as Yesung finally dropped his hand and turned to enter into the house properly.

Kyuhyun watched his back for a few milliseconds, not moving, not sure he was brave enough to do this, giving himself a renewed pep talk, reminding himself to act normal and not like a stuttering child that was too cowardly to be in the same room as his boyfriend’s parents. He felt like a teenager again, except now the stakes were much higher and it was a significant change in circumstances obviously, something that his eighteen year old self would never had anticipated.

His hesitancy seemed to catch Yesung’s attention, the older man stopping his steps when he realized that Kyuhyun was not walking behind him, and not really hearing any movement behind him, stopping and turning back to a seemingly dazed Kyuhyun.

“Are you waiting for a second invitation?” Yesung teased a little.

He felt more comfortable speaking like that to Kyuhyun rather than worrying what was wrong with him, especially since he really couldn’t see what it was that could have happened in the last few minutes that would turn his annoyingly cheeky boyfriend into a “lost space kid” in a matter of seconds.

 He contemplated if Kyuhyun was messing with him or genuinely distressed but could see nothing of the sort and was frankly uninterested in thinking further on it. Kyuhyun was probably distracted as he had been since his solo came out and Yesung had not been letting it get to him.

It happened sometimes and he was not going to be a nuisance. He hated when old girlfriends asked him every second what he was thinking so really didn’t want to do that to Kyuhyun. He would seem overbearing and he already found himself to be much too clingy generally. Better as to not crowd Kyuhyun unless something was wrong. Kyuhyun had an active mind. He could have been thinking about a million things, but probably wondering about his seemingly never ending schedule.

It was tough for him, Yesung knew.

It was the reason he waited for Kyuhyun where he stood, hand extended for him to see the added invitation. Kyuhyun gave him a strange panicked looked, but was thankfully soon leaning downwards to take off his shoes, which Yesung now remembered, waiting patiently as Kyuhyun slide his shoes off, adorable in his attempts to store it on the rack nearby properly, taking extra care which Kyuhyun supposed came from the politeness of being in someone else’s home. Yesung wished he would feel comfortable but supposed that was just Kyuhyun. It was not as if he had spent much time here anyway.

Kyuhyun was hesitant but he knew that he would look like an idiot for just standing in the doorway like a coward. Yesung was already noticing something wrong and he didn’t really want to take much further on that point.

Yesung wouldn’t want to date a coward would he?

Would he instil confidence in Yesung that was a man, someone strong enough to stand by him and protect him when they eventually told their parents when he couldn’t even enter his house without breaking into a cold sweat?

It was already hard enough for Yesung to see him as a man that was capable of taking care of him without adding his failings to the mix. If he acted like a scared child he would blow whatever progress was made after their little massive argument so many months ago. Yesung was still reserved but Kyuhyun knew he was trying, giving Kyuhyun a chance. Not to prove himself, as he doubted that Yesung intended for it to be that way, but the mind had a natural way of doing things like that. He would never be satisfied if he still perceived Kyuhyun to be a child and if he acted like a scared kitten that would only be the outcome.

Pull it together Kyuhyun!

You can perform in front of 50 thousand people and with millions watching, this is nothing!

Still he bought as much time as he could with the shoes, ensuring that he was super neat and careful, subconsciously wanting to show Mrs. Kim that even though he was not good daughter-in-law material, he really could be a good person to have in her family, couldn’t he?

He really could.

He was neat and clean………..

No you’re not!

She doesn’t know that!!

Oh really?

Shut up!! You’re not helping!!!

Sigh.

Somehow or the other he swallowed the lump in his throat and took a few steps towards Yesung, just wanting to reach that hand stretched out to him. Part of him knew he should be careful about the touching least he get to comfortable and cause trouble, but there was always comfort and strength in holding Yesung’s hand and that was what he wanted the most right then.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he slipped his hand into Yesung, getting a smile for his bravery, though he doubted that Yesung knew that Kyuhyun was channelling all the bravery that he could ever have manage.

“I am glad that you can make it. I really didn’t think you would have the time. You have been so busy-“  Yesung spoke as he led Kyuhyun into the house, hand lodged in his own, comfortable to have the younger man with him.

He really had wanted to see him for quite a while, but with circumstances as such there was nothing they could do about it realistically. Kyuhyun was busy and he knew what that was like. There are things that had to be done and even if he wanted to, there was nothing that could change it. He had times when he was too busy to see Kyuhyun, busy with the shops or work or with designing and just getting caught up.

Kyuhyun had always been understanding then…………well not really.

The younger man threw a fit from time to time, but in retrospect Yesung could see that sometimes he really did make things harder than it should have been. Now that he was on the other side he better understood how it felt and it really was not enjoyable. He was thankfully better able to go for longer times without seeing Kyuhyun, the more stubborn of the two in that regard.

That is why he considered this invitation to be more for Kyuhyun than himself honestly. Not to be an about it or over confident like Kyuhyun usually was, more than he was more in tune with the needs of the younger man and was sure that Kyuhyun would be much happier if they were able to spend time together. It was not as if he was unwilling himself either; desperate to see Kyuhyun for himself and be sure that he was alright through the strain of his numerous schedules.

He was so caught up in his words that he had failed to realize that Kyuhyun was utterly lost in his own thoughts, not really paying attention to him that much, rambling as he always did until he was interrupted.

“Hyung” Kyuhyun said, steps stilling instantly, unable to really move forward, feeling like a coward badly, but at this point he had really lost the battle.

It seemed as if he had swallowed all his courage and had next to none left.

The wondering would kill him if he didn’t ask and he was already mentally drained enough. He really didn’t need to be plagued with the thought of Yesung’s mother hating him if she came outside for a glass of water and found him holding Yesung’s hand. It was obviously just a simple gesture, but his paranoia was making such a simple thing terrifying. He never thought the feel of Yesung’s hand in his would make him feel sick, but so far that was exactly what was happening and he didn’t want to spend his few spare minutes with the person he loved in such a way.

Better to know exactly where they were so that he could decide what to do, even if it meant retreating with his tail between his legs.

Kyuhyun had stopped walking entirely and it was really when Yesung’s body jerked that he realized that Kyuhyun had spoken, not really hearing him before, finally turning to look at him, giving him a worried glance, especially when Kyuhyun’s voice sounded a little panicked.

Yesung was just about to ask him if he were alright when Kyuhyun spoke again a little frantically.

“Where is everyone Hyung? They’re not home are they?” Kyuhyun asked quickly.

He was rather jumpy to be honest, eyes darting around the room like a caged animal, stupidly gripping Yesung’s hand to get a measure of comfort though part of him was yelling that he would be slaughtered if anyone saw them doing that, which naturally made him release the small thing as if burned, hands going to his coat pocket inside, taking a step backwards even as he looked around still, not really being able to tell if they were home by such a method but unable to stay still.

God! He hated the fact that he was such a coward now, but he really was that terrified.

He felt so goddamn uncomfortable being there and Yesung was just talking as if nothing happened and the stupid bastard chose then to hold his hand when it was Kyuhyun normally begging him for some skinship and he was so cute and Kyuhyun wanted a kiss, but even thinking about that in Mrs. Kim home made him feel sick and what if she saw them?

She would hate him and make Yesung break up with him and he was terrified okay!

He knew it was not progressive thinking, but at this point he really too tired to fight with his fear and insecurity and paranoia and Yesung just had to be an and invite him at that point in time.

 He was a real bastard for possibly testing Kyuhyun when he knew Kyuhyun was tired and frustrated and really just wanted to sink himself in his arms and just get some damn sleep. Yesung was a sadistic bastard for sure and he was really unlucky that Kyuhyun was so in love with him.

Grrrrr….he really didn’t want to be there right about then.

And instead of offering comfort to his clearly panicked boyfriend, the bastard laughed.

Warm and bubbly and adorable and Kyuhyun glared something fierce instantly, face crunching up in barely restrained disgust.

.

Kyuhyun was dying in fright and the bastard just laughed at him.

“Yah!” Kyuhyun scolded a little roughly, voice a little loud and eyes blazing the fires of hell, jaw set in a scary line until he realized that he had just basically yelled in Mrs. Kim’s home and she would think he was a beast that bullied her precious baby and hate him.

Oh Dear God. WEEPS

His hands slapped over his mouth instantly and his expression changed drastically, back to scared puppy, wondering if he really would have no pride left if he just ran away and go home and slept instead of possibly making Yesung’s mother think his even less suitable for her son.

He was already in such a wonderful position, being male and all that as it were, wasn’t he? Grrrrrrrrr

Kyuhyun really was on the verge of running away, figuring that he would just smack Yesung and punch him in the face if he about it later and well, it was smarter to fail this test than to have Mrs. Kim come outside for him and see him in such a messed up state.

He was stopped however.

A/N: Pardon the editing fails. Editing is not my best skill and I am pressed for time.