I feel so awkward!

I shouldn't have, but I can't help it, thought Youngji in her mind as she look at her reflection on the half body-size mirror in the room that prepared for her. We always act like a sibling, it'll be super awkward to act like a lover to someone you think as a sibling doesn't it? Can he do it? Can I do it? 

"Ah~, Wang Jackson..," mumbling Youngji as she fix something in her sweater. "chincha... ttokae-ne (you are really.... still the same)." Perhaps, it won't be as awkward as I thought it would be, thought her again. At least, if his behaviour still as same as when we both close, she can always follow his pace. 

"Gwenchana, Heo Youngji," said Youngji to herself. "You and Jackson is close friend anyway, it shouldn't be a problem for both of you to get close again eventhough you're been apart, right? It's not like he hate you or else," continued her as she start to convince herself.

After a while, she is kind of forget her concern about how she should behave toward her 'long lost friend', and start to focus on something trivial like her clothes. She's been given a plain white silk shirt that she wear under a wool beige sweater. The sweater seems over her size because the end of it is almost cover half of her thigh and make her white short pants disappear, as if she don't wearing anything under the sweater. She rather questioning though, why would they give her a short pants despite a cold weather as this time around, but as she notice they would do all of the photoshoot indoor, she decide to let it go and just wear it. Well, at least they gave a socks to warm my feet, thought Youngji as she sweep her eyes around to look for the mention socks.

The photographer's assistant, Younhi unnie, was give her the socks earlier along with the several sets of clothes, unnie give her one set, which is what she's wear right now, and hang the rest on the wall behind her to be wear later. She honesty want to peek under the black cover just to see what kind of the rest of 'her' clothes would be, but she manage to hold herself from the temptation.

Youngji drag her attention from the mirror when she heard knock on her door and before she manage to say a word, the door knob already turn and the door open. Youngji turn around and find Jisun unnie, another Minami's unnie assistant, peeking her head through the door, she's smile and open the door wider as she walk inside. 

"Ah, you already finished change your clothes I see," said Jisun unnie brightly. 

"Nde, byeonhwa haesu isse--yo (Yes, I already changed my clothes)," said Youngji as she unconsciously put her hands together and bow down a little toward her. 

"Then, come and sit down here," said Jisun unnie as she grab a chair and put it right in front of a huge desk mirror. "I tie your hair into ponytail," continued unnie as she turn on the lamp that circling the mirror and make her almost blind for its brightness. Youngji squinted her eyes for while until it get used to before she move and sit down on the chair. 

"Are you changed your hair color?" asked Jisun unnie as she start to grab her hair slowly and start to comb it. "I remember you have blonde hair last month, or is it, two months ago?" continued her, Jisun unnie stop for a while as if she try to remember but she's give up fast and continue to comb her hair and start to pull it together.

"Nde (Yes), unnie, I was blonde last month," said Youngji as she smile widely. "I don't think it suit me though, so I wouldn't want my hair to turn blonde again anytime soon."

"Hmm, no matter what color is, it will suit you because you have this flawless skin that I would kill for," said Jisun unnie as her eyes start to focus to tie up her hair. "but, I think this black color is really suit you more than any other color," continued her as she turn to see Youngji's reflection on the mirror and raise her hand again to fix her bangs.

"Ah, kamsahamnida (thank you)," answer Youngji as she smile because of the compliment. "I like my hair back to black too, unnie."

And then, just the moment she about to say something, the door of the room start to turn and crack open, follow by some lean figure who come inside without a warning, Youngji recognize the figure right away as the photographer, Minami unnie, who still look beautiful even with rather huge belly.

"Junbiga deos-yeo (Are you ready?)" asked the photographer with smile in her face, which make her seems more approachable than before, as if the person who 'scolded' Jackson earlier, just because he asked some trivial things, is someone else but her.

Youngji blink and can't help to reply the smile. "Nde (Yes), junbiga deos-yeo sseoyo (Yes, I am ready)," answer her brightly.

"Jamsiman-yo (wait a seconds), unnie," said Jisun unnie from behind her as she make a last touch to her ponytail and stare at her reflection once again to see the result. Jisun unnie nod as satisfaction and turn to glance at her boss emphasize that she's done.  

"Hmm," mumbling the photographer as Youngji start to stand up from the chair and give her a better look of her appearance. Minami unnie look at her as if she evaluate her appearance from head to toe before she suddenly said to Jisun unnie behind her, "Jisun-ah, I want her eyes have a brighter color, do you have light brown lenses? And put some make up on her but make it thin, I want to keep the white skin and put some pale lipstick, maybe light pink or color will do and...," Minami unnie stop as she sweep her eyes once more and said, "ah, make her hair wavy but not too curly and give her a slipper or something to keep her socks clean." continued her as the photographer turn so stare at her in the eyes.

"Algeumsseumnida (I understand)," answer Jisun unnie as she nod to her boss's command. "I'll get the lenses for her," said her again and turn away and walk fast to the door, in the seconds, she already disappear and leave both her and the photographer. She's keep standing as Minami unnie start to move to lean her body on the desk in front of her. Before she realize, the photographer has already crossed her arms around her huge belly and look at her. 

As an artists and idol, it's natural for her to be stared at, it's happened a lot, in return she learn how to handle those staring and try to be normal or at least she can pretend to be. However, the way the photographer in front of her staring at her so different and so intense. There's no excitement nor hatred in her eyes, just simply staring as if she trying to determine what kind of person she is or sort of. She can't help to feel nervous under the photographer's staring, she put both her hands together infront of her unconsciously, hoping it could decrease her nervousness.  

Youngji little bit confused and don't know where to look as Minami unnie keep staring at her until she suddenly speak up, "Are you...," unnie stop for a while before she continue. "..by any chance have a boyfriend?" asked unnie which make her surprise by her question. 

"Nde? eobs....eobs-eo yo...(Eh? N.. no I don't have...)," answer Youngji as quick as she can to respond such a question although she confused why would the photographer even ask that to her.

"Hmm," muttered unnie as she start to her huge belly as if she didn't realize she's done so. "but you do fall in love, right?" 

She taken by surprised by her question which make her frozen and blinked several times, she even need several seconds to digest before she manage to react to it, "Ah, ji..jigeum-yo (Ah,.. y..you mean right now)?" asked Youngji carefully. "I don't..."

"No, I mean have you ever... fall in love," said the photographer again. "Just like I mention earlier, I want you and Kayee (re:Kayi) to act as a lover not a sibling, you do know what it means, right?" 

"Kai?"

"Ah, it's just the way I call Jackson," explained the photographer as she make gesture with her hand, emphasize that it's not a big deal. "It's sound similar to my father's surname, so I kinda like it." Youngji blink her eyes as she sure that Minami unnie surname is Song when unnie continue to say, "I used my grandmother's instead of my father's." 

"Ah, I see," answer Youngji as the photographer didn't say anything else to explain that statement of her.

"Well, don't tell him I call him that, anyway," said her as she turn the conversation back to the topic. "So, I do want you to act like lover but I don't want a cheap act smudging my camera, so, it would even better if you have the experience, because if I can see you faking it, so does the people who will see my work."

Ah, I see.. so that's why she ask those questions, thought Youngji in her mind. Why wouldn't she just tell me from the start? continued her as she wondering about the purpose of unnie's question, but she know that she don't have a guts to ask her, so, she's going to keep shut. 

"Yeolshim-hi... (I will work hard....)," said Youngji as she nod her head and look at the photographer carefully.

"No, I don't want you to work it out," cut Minami suddenly. "I want it to be as natural as possible, if it's possible."

"Cho-neun (I).... ," Youngji blink her sparkle eyes several times as the hesitation start to crawl in her mind.

"You can't?" 

"A..anie-yo (N..no I'm not)," denied her quick. "Hal-su isseoyo (I can)!" 

"Oh, Good," muttered the photographer almost to herself. "...so, you had boyfriend before then? You said you can do it because you had the experience before, right?" asked the photographer again. 

"No, no, I never have boyfriend before, unnie, " denies her as she waving her hands quickly. "I just..... Was one-sided love good enough?"

She saw clearly when the photographer fall to silent and look interested, "One-sided love?" asked her. "You mean you're have one sided love? Right now?"

"Anie-yo, sigan... jeon-e... (No, (I had it)...sometimes... ago..)," said her slowly. "He was... someone I know for long but he's only saw me as a little sister," explained Youngji unconsciously which rather surprise her, because this is the first time she met the photographer and she already rattle about herself to her as if it's natural to do so.

"Aahh...Okay..., well, I guess one sided love is good enough, at least you know the feeling and as long as you can show me how to express it, it'll be fine," said Minami as she look rather satisfied. "But.. you can do it with Kayee, right?" asked her again to the girl in front of her.

"I'll try my best," answer the girl. "Since we are friends, I think it will be easy," continued her as she try to smile but Minami can see that she's nervous.

"Ouch," mumbling Minami as she heard the girl say the word 'friend' and 'easy' in one sentence. "He's going to work harder." continued her as muttered it more to herself.

"Nde (I beg your pardon)?" asked Youngji as she can hear the photographer say something but she can't catch it clearly.

"Nothing," said Minami as she straighten her body from leaning on the desk when the door is creak open and she saw Jisun behind it. "Ah, you got the lenses?"

"Yes, unnie," said Jisun as she show box of contact lense in her hand.

"Hmm, good," said her before she turn to see the girl again, who still standing there politely with her both hands tied. "Well, since you said yourself that both you and Kayee.. I mean Jackson, are friends, I will expect that you can be as casual as he is, he probably don't need to act casual since he already is, so I need you to counterbalance him so it will appear natural. Can you do it?"

"Nde (Yes, I can)," said the girl as she look determine which make her tsked. Poor Kayee! he's still have a long way to go, thought Minami as she can't help to smirk when remember the look on Jackson's face when she said they both will become as a 'lover' instead of sibling. He such a kid! I told him to learn how to hide his emotion, but I guess he still can't do it.

"Okay, then, we will start your solo photoshoot as soon as you finish wearing the lenses, Jisun will help you with that," said the photographer. "See you in the set," continued her as Youngji follow her walk toward the door and leave her with Jisun unnie who already prepare to put the lenses on her.

***

"Jackson, your turn will come in few minutes," said someone from the door which make him turn to see whose talking when he found Younhi noona peeking her head inside his changing room. "You better go to the set now." 

"Arrasseo-yo, noona, gal-kkeyo (Okay, noona, I'm going)," said Jackson as he stand up from the couch that he's been sitting on and start to walk toward the door.

Noona is waiting for him outside the room and accompany him to the set which apparently just rather far enough from his changing room. Younhi noona make right turn and take him enter a hall. There are a sound coming out from there as if bunch of people swarming inside the hall, until he realize that it appear as it sound as he watched excitedly as several of Minami noona's crew walk back and forth carrying a indoor lamp and equipments and the other surround something which looks like a monitor.

Jackson frown when he saw her from the screen which placed beside the people who busily checking on something on the monitor. He turn to the left and walk closer to the screen to see more clearly. 

As his closer to the screen, he realize that it just a photo, bunch of it, as it keep changing from one to another. Someone has tied her hair tightly just like she used to in the past, he remember a lot because he want to pull her hair sometimes whenever it's swung, the difference was only the color, black is strangely suit her, he saw her with different kind of color now and then, but in his opinion black is brighten up her flawless white skin and make her ageless, as if she still the same as the first time we met 5 years ago, thought Jackson as he sweep his eyes to her picture on the screen. 

"Youngji-ah, look to my camera as if you look at the one you love," said someone from his right which make him turn around. 

He found her there.

Sitting on a fake window sill, while a bright light from behind the window shining on her like a fake sun. She has raise one of her feet and put her chin onto her knee as she staring somewhere in front of her. 

"I don't see love, Youngji-ah," said someone who he recognize as Mina noona's voice, but he can't see where it come from, but he couldn't careless as what more interest him is noona's order. How can someone see love? thought him as he furrowed and can't help thinking that noona sometimes can be absurd.

"Ah, keu-chi (that's it)," shout noona again which now make him curious. He turn to see the screen again, hoping that the 'love' that noona's demand is display in her picture there. "One more time!" shout noona again but Jackson's attention already freeze to the screen.

He fall to silent as he watch her picture staring back at him with weird sparkle in her eyes, there's tenderness in the way she look at the camera, and.... longing? Jackson clenched his fists as the question of who is she been thinking when she look at the camera like this has crossed his mind and lit his anger somehow. 

The picture keep changing as Mina noona taking her picture more, he watch it with mixed feeling as the more he watch the picture the more he dislike it, moreover when he realize that noona shoot her legs which wearing white short pants and pair of socks, although she wearing something like oversize beige sweater, it didn't change the fact that he dislike how she display her legs like that. 

God! What is she wearing? shout Jackson as he grit his teeth unconsciously.

"Jackson," shout someone from a far which make him turn around, he found Younhi noona as she walk toward him. "Unnie said your turn is after her session with Youngji, so you better stay close." continued her as she informed about his turn. 

"Noona," said Jackson as his eyes keep on staring at her who now has titled her head to the side, giving an access to anyone who can to her white neck while staring at the camera. "Why is she wearing that? Doesn't she feel cold or something?" continued him as he turn to see Younhi noona who follow his staring to her. 

"Ah, Youngji? Why? She's looks comfy to me though," said Younhi noona as she furrowed her eyebrows. "Beside she's cover herself with blanket if she's not in the middle of the shoot." 

"But still....," Jackson stop as he realize that he sound ridiculous now, and know he probably will dig his own grave if he say something further, he turn to Younhi unnie and smile widely. "Ah, nevermind, Youngji is strong kid anyway, she probably don't feel a thing in this cold weather."

Younhi squinted her eyes as she feel something strange with the man in front of her, one time he sound so concern and in just matter of second he acted like he didn't care. "Okay, if you say so, afterall, you're the only one who know her better around here."

"Ah, chincha (really)?" exclaimed him surprise. "You or Minami noona never work with her before?" 

"Mm, as long as I remember this is the first time we ever work with her," answer Younhi noona as nod her head and turn her face again to look at her. "Someone told me that we've been trying to get her pictorial for our magazine since long time before, but she was so busy back then." continued noona again as she explain it to him briefly.

"Keuro-kuna (I see), yeah, she's been busy these past few years," muttered Jackson, as he revealed unconsciously, the fact that he's been 'following' her activities now and then. But, fortunately, Younhi noona didn't seems suspect anything as if it's natural for him to know her activities.

"Okay, we're finished with your portion," said someone who sound like Minami noona which makes Jackson turn his eyes to see where it from. "Where's Kayee?" 

Jackson can't help to smile when he heard Minami noona called him by his birthname, it feel almost like they get closer. At first, he didn't realize that noona was always called him by those name, at least, not in front of him, but one time he overheard it and ask why would noona called him by his birthname, but she's didn't explained more and just stop calling him like that again, until now.

"I'm here, noona," shout Jackson brightly, make a loud about his own presence, which make Minami noona turn around to look for him.

"Yaa, you're here," said Minami as soon as she turn around and realize Jackson's presen