DISPATCH REVEALED JUNG EUNJI VISITED GYNECOLOGIST SEVELAR TIMES!

[+23,067/ -2,009] I lost my words, no, I cannot. My idols, my life time idols, why? WHY? HYUNG – NOONA, WAE? [+19,445/ -1,998] SCREW LIFE! WAKE UP PEOPLE! I DOESN’T MATTER HOW HARD YOU SUPPORT YOUR IDOLS THEY WILL ALWAYS BETRAY YOU! [+17,889/ - 1,879] Oh gosh, people?! What’s wrong with having baby? They’re adult, they’ve been dating for years, and they’ve announced the wedding too, so what’s wrong if the baby is coming already?! It’s not a fault! Seriously, you guys have to stop butting someone else’s life! [+17,775/ -1,843] I’m a Panda and I know Eunji is not pregnant. Please visit Acube site, they’ve released the statement! Please stop spreading false rumor! [+15,939/ -1,662] Not a fan of both, but I sincerely congratulate them! Welcome to reality, people!

***

 

Walking back and forth with some pieces of papers I made sure I had remembered all the sentences on my hand. I had been learning it since, um, last night. This might unsettling but at least I had been preparing. No, I wasn’t nervous, even when I admitted I needed a gallon of water. I wasn’t nervous, yes, I needed to keep telling myself. It was important, this spell, so I wouldn’t forget my line. Oh my God, I wasn’t nerv …

“Ji,”

“I’M NOT NERVOUS, OH MY GOD!”

I turned around to belatedly find out that I was too obvious, nearly everyone had their eyes widened, surely noticed now how nervous I was.

“You’re nervous, we can see that,”

And Bomi just made it clear.

I heaved deep, maybe some oxygen would help, wait, what’s wrong with this place? It seemed we had been staying in place with lack of oxygen. Uh, now, I didn’t just need water but oxygen too.

“Take a breath, Ji. You can face this,” Chorong eonni added.

“I’m taking breath right now, yet I cannot, what’s wrong with this place?” I heaved another deep breathe, my head swung down, so weak that my eyes followed by closing so tight. I did try to heave deep, “I shouldn’t have done this.”

“What?” I could hear Bomi asking. “Just be calm, everything will be fine, babe,” she came to take my body into her hug.

I wished it was warm, but it wasn’t, or maybe I had some fever or something similar, I felt like my body was a ball of ice, it was so cold, and I was still thirsty.

“Here eonni,” leaning my chin on Bomi’s shoulder I looked up, meeting my dongsaeng’s eyes. My lips automatically reciprocated her smile, she swung light a bottle of water as if she could read me, or maybe everyone did even before I realized it, then I let my hand took the bottle from hers. Bomi loosened to give me space for drinking.

“You’ll be fine eonni,” Hayoung added, still standing in front of me. I didn’t want to disappoint her therefore I made sure I gave her a petite thank you smile.

“No of us expects you’ll be the first one,” Chorong eonni said casually on her couch, earning a nod from the other, I soothed her a weak smile as I gave Hayoung back the water.

“Well, I did,” Naeun followed, “somehow I believe Eunji eonni would be the first one,” she just earned our attention, “what? Is it just me?”

“I thought it will be you though,” Bomi chuckled lightly for the words Namjoo just said.

“I agree,” Bomi said.

“Me?”

“Yeah, look at how your boyfriend treats you, and how you treat him back. I don’t know, you two give me vibe,” Namjoo added, “also, it’s been like million times you say you want it, isn’t that enough?”

“Did I?”

I couldn’t help but giving a nod. And a chuckle.

“I think it’s just yesterday you clung onto us saying how bad you want to be me,” yeah, it’s me who’s saying.

“Right, Naeun-ah, perhaps, do you, no, are you in some kind of preparation, or planning, or anything it be? To think about it, it’s been quite often you clinging about this topic, wait, why I somehow feel like it’s getting true?” Bomi and I, we just exchanged look, her eyes squinted suspiciously.

“N-no of course not,”

“You’re stuttering eonni,” Hayoung noted.

And next we chuckled, together, I clung my arm on my best friend’s arm as I began to lean on her shoulder again.

“Oh please guys, this gets me desperate, just when I have no boyfriend everyone likes to get married.”

The chuckle went into a laugh, and I followed. I felt grateful just now, thank to them the thing that suffocated me earlier slowly faded, not 100% though, yet it made different, a big different. We continued talking and teasing the visual about her wish of being a bride soon, and seeing how red her blush right now we could tell she truly wished it would come soon.

Oh right, it was true, I was getting married, no, not today, we still had some months, I hadn’t even prepared anything. I didn’t know it turned out like this when just yesterday we announced my plan to take the knot, though then because of stupid photographs we gathered here now, preparing for my battle. I didn’t know those pictures would go viral and, I’m sorry I needed to take breath, I meant it should have been seen like nothing when we released our statement, but then the massive of comments screwed it.

9 AM sharp, my personal manager and I would leave this building heading to six places, yes I had counted it, six or, maybe seven. The first one was the main office of LG which thankfully wasn’t far from here, secondly we would head to ELLE Seoul office and followed by Vogue main building since both of them were in Seoul, then we had to go to Incheon where my producer would have filming. And after that we would meet the writers of my movie in certain Japanese restaurant outskirt of the city in the evening, and the last place hadn’t been decided yet. Someone said they would call us later, I didn’t expect much though. And the mission was to explain what had exactly happened, and simply to apologize even when with the full sanity I wasn’t in fault.

I wasn’t complaining, there was always possibility we would face something like this in our career, and knowing well I wouldn’t blame anyone even those stupid photographers who learnt excellently how to improvise.

I believed I could handle this, it was hard, I knew, however I had my faith. But, it was … I was truly tired, I shouldn’t say this. Again, I wasn’t complaining, but maybe I was affected too much by his absence. He wasn’t here, yeah, he wasn’t.

“Oh, honey, you need more water,” Bomi said, asking Hayoung for the bottle I’d drunk before.

“Thanks,” I said before getting my throat some treatment.

“Do you think he’ll manage to come?” Namjoo asked.

I looked up to the younger, and my smile fell. Right, she had reason, I could see that. And we all knew we didn’t need answer. This was maybe why I preferred to hear some stupid faked encouragement rather than giving a certain real depressing answer.

“You’ll be fine, Eunji,” Chorong eonni helped.

“I know,”

I know. It would be fine, we had been through so long, of course it would be fine. I was an actor, of course I could handle this, it didn’t mean I would fake things, no, it wasn’t on the plan, it’s just, at least I knew how to handle expression and things, also I had met something scarier than this. I remembered the first time we caught dating and we ended up admitting it, I thought it was way more than this. He was so nervous at that time, it was stupid if I could tell because actually I was way more than nervous. I was trembling, scared of things that I would face, the career that we had built, the massive hate that we would gain, however then, when I saw how messed up Yoseob oppa on that café, I knew I shouldn’t worsen thing.

The moment I stood a feet away from him, I realized there and then that this oppa would be my leader, so he needed to be strong and I should remind him how strong he was. And thankfully things got better after.

But he wasn’t here, could I? Can I? Right, I shouldn’t think I wasn’t capable, no, I was strong as well. I was … oh my God! It came again.

The memory when I had to face another massive of hate because of Seungyoon and my late midnight taken photo came again. I was so weak at that time, and stupid, and weak, stupidly weak. I tried to stand up even when I thought I couldn’t, however then, again he was the one who pulled me up. There was always him around, that made me strong. I wondered whether I would finish today mission as well as I did with him before, or not. I didn’t know.

“Eunji-ya let’s go,” I could hear my manager’s voice, as I opened my eyes I could see people have been standing, ready to send me together.

“Good luck, bestie,” Bomi gave me one last tight hug, and now it felt a little bit warm, at least, compared to before.

“Thanks,”

“Eonni, you’ll be fine,” Maknae said with sincerity. I chuckled lightly then, couldn’t count anymore how many times they said it.

“Thank you agi-ya,”

I walked towards my leader, as if she waited for me, her smile lifted softly, “so,” she patted my arm, “be confident and win it,”

“I will.”

 

Sitting in our van, I tightened my grip on my papers. These pieces of theories would be help, I repeated my spell. I made it all night long, trying to be fully earnest yet logical, it was my weapon in this battle.

Though still, I felt there was a big hole because of his absence, I couldn’t help but taking my phone, abandoning my weapon for awhile. I lifted it enough on my eye level, once the screen on I met his super wide smile. Mine had just formed, petite though. I bet he was smiling like this now, or maybe much wider than this. Meeting his fans was always the most things he craved, we all knew it.

Oh, actually he hadn’t known about this, or maybe about those pictures too. I asked Dongwoon oppa last night, and they seemed oblivious about this. It was just last night, and exploded right after. I couldn’t reach him last night, so I decided to call Dongwoon, when I was sure they knew nothing, I told him to keep this thing away from Yoseob oppa, yes, at least until their concert finished, it was their twelfth anniversary after all, I couldn’t screw his mind.

I could handle this.

Can I?

 

Head down, I bowed to the director promotion of LG. I never talked to this person before, we never really had a real encounter, we met only two times, first when Yoseob oppa and I signed for being the main ambassador for LG newest smartphone, if I counted it had been almost two years we had been working for this company. It seemed that they liked us, both public and this company, our contract would actually end next month, and seeing how things became like this I doubt this old man would ask us for another year. Anyway, the second time was now and no one expected that an apology would be the first topic we would share.

“We’re really sorry,” I said, “we have posted our statement right after those pictures were released. And we will clean the misunderstanding soon, Director Jung,”

The person in front of me nodded lightly while eyes focused on his table. Seeing a fifty something man in suit recalled me of my father. Despite the fact that Appa was a soldier, I loved him the most when he was in suit. Well, Yoseob oppa in suit too was captivating. Neat and simply handsome. Unconsciously, a petite curl formed on my lips.

Stay focus, Jung Eunji!

“I honestly don’t like working with insincere people,” in his deep voice he began speaking, “People say that it’s a shotgun marriage, we don’t like this idea, but I need to know, is it true, Jung Eunji-ssi?”

Our gaze met when he said my name, and it without even trying had sent shiver to me. Maybe because he had experience, maybe he was angry, or maybe he intently scared me that I felt down just by listening to his voice.

“No, it’s not true, Director Jung. We have been planning this marriage since last year.”

“Then, why your side didn’t warn us anything?”

“About the marriage?” I could handle this, yes. I just had to remember my sentence. “We’re really sorry, we thought because our contract would end soon, we,” I could handle this, oh God! “Actually, we’ve been waiting.”

His eyes squinted.

“Yes, we have been waiting until the promotion ends before we release the news. And even though our contract would last next month, we have basically finished our promotion a month ago.”

“It’s not the answer I seek, Jung Eunji-ssi.”

Of course. I took a deep breath, preparing myself to face anything this man would give.

“I’m talking about the loss we receive because you didn’t warn us, Jung Ahgassi,”

“We’re really sorry,” I couldn’t handle this. My head swung down lightly, making another bow.

For the next ten minutes I couldn’t exchange look with this director, my strength fall, weakened, and I couldn’t think. He spoke about the possibility of stock falling, sale decreasing, and things. It’s funny remembering that I had actually prepared for this. But then, maybe meeting a high rank people was never easy for me. His voice, his gaze, his words, his gesture all weakened me.

I heard