After yesterday, I didn't really know what Mrs.Lee really felt. After hearing me out she had just remained silent and laid the vase of flowers next to Taemin before kissing his forehead. The last thing she said to me was just a polite good bye. Everything after had just been me being welcomed by the silence of the room. I only wish I had gotten an approval, or at least some sign from her that would have given me hope. That was the one thing I wanted most from Mrs.Lee, even if I knew I shouldn't be having the chance to marry such a wonderful man. Everything here didn't feel right. I felt as if me being given a chance was like trying to breathe underwater; it would all be in vain. I didn't have faith in myself, even when I wanted more than anything to love him again like I should have. I felt as if there would be something that wouldn't let me.

Of course I would have cleared any more misunderstandings by then, but would that really not affect Taemin? Would he actually be willing to be with me, knowing I had disregarded his feelings for me because I was scared before? Would his mother approve of leaving Taemin in my hands again? I can no longer keep count on my fingers to how many times I've found myself thinking so negatively about the many possiblities that could happen if he were to wake up again. Maybe I wouldn't have been like this if I had just seen him again. If this spirit of his had come back to me and just looked at me with those cute brown eyes maybe I wouldn't be so pessimistic about every little thing. But he hasn't been here. It was like he was never here, but the scar on my arm keeps telling me otherwise. It gives me that tiny piece of hope that I know no man in their right mind would hold onto. Deep down where I've buried my sanity, it tells me to stop leading myself on like this. It's telling me to save myself while I still can.

But being the stubborn man I am, I only push that thought aside as I make my way to our house. I remove those logical thoughts from myself in order to continue living on with my life while I wait for Taemin to wake up again, or to see him come to me again as his spirit. Without even realizing it, I felt that my clothes were wet, along with my hair which stuck to the sides of my cheek. Just a few minutes ago they were hanging like my head had been as I looked at the floor. I guess I was just so immersed in thoughts that I didn't even notice the rain which started to come down. I looked up to see the sky, only to be greeted with stars that lit up the dark night. "Oh-..it's already night." I said quietly. I had forgotten that I stayed with Taemin until visiting hours were over. I still thought it was at least the afternoon. Then again, time always seemed to fly by when I was with Taemin.

I remember that's the one thing about him that left me knowing for a fact I had fallen for him. When I was with him, there was no such thing as time. The only thing I saw was him. His smile, his laugh and his beautiful personality. He was always so kind, always putting others before himself. But for once, after I had done the biggest mistake of my life, he had acted on his own will and cried. He tried to commit suicide because he couldn't stand being away from me. People would call it selfish, but I only saw it as selfless. The selfish thing that he could have done was steal me away from Yuri. He knew well enough he could have even seduced me out of it if he tried, but he didn't. Because he preferred my happiness over his own. My happiness was something he was happier with rather than his own, but because of how painful it all was he had to resort to doing that. I was a fool to hide my own feelings, but I'm not going to be like that anymore.

I've cleared it off with Yuri, and now I've cleared it off with his mother. There really wasn't much for me to do anymore. Nothing was left but for me to be patient, and that was what I was going to do if it meant I'd be with him. What scares me most is how painful each day will get. The thought of how long I might have to wait makes me wonder if I would still have my sanity, because having been without anyone but myself to keep me calm has made me unsure if I'm delusioning myself any more than I already am. But I think in truth, I would rather delusion myself with thinking Taemin is right besides me than having to see reality as alone in the house. I guess that would be what I'd prefer over pure loneliness.

My footsteps stopped as soon as I reached the front door of our house. My head lifted and my breaths drew back. The keys which I fished out of my pocket were now unlocking the door and before I knew it I was inside, staring at the couch that remained to be untouched and stitched as it was before. "I'm home." I said softly and walked myself to the bathroom to take a shower. I didn't want to get sick and not be able to visit Taemin. After that I had gone to the bedroom which I had also patched up. It's been a while since I've checked on things, but I now see that ever since I've been able to patch everything up nothing has been touched. Is it because Taemin no longer comes here? Or maybe it was me all along breaking those things. I shook my head at the thought and looked at Taemin's bed. I have never really once slept on it. I only slept on mine because I was afraid of somehow tainting his bed. But sleeping on my bed I could still smell his sweet scent from the other side. Oh how I wanted to just go to his bed and lay down on it.

It was always so tempting. Before I used to never give thought to it, but now that I noticed my own need to want a deeper whiff of Taemin's natural scent the yearn only grew more. I sat on my bed and looked at his. My self-control seemed to become shorter as time continued and I could feel myself gulp. I don't really know why sleeping on his bed seemed like doing the forbidden, but I just didn't feel worth touching him. However, with how weak I am towards anything that has to do with Taemin, I balled my fists while my legs had a mind of their own and brought me so close to his bed that my knees were most likely only milimeters away from touching it. The nails started to dig into my palms, and I only looked desperately at the bed before me which I had fixed long before while wearing gloves. I remember even just touching it was not allowed for myself.

"I.." I didn't know what I was going to say. Maybe it was going to be a permission to ask, but even if it was it refused to leave the tip of my tongue. My body had already made up it's mind. My brain might have disagreed but my heart and my body won over. I sat down on the bed and brushed my hand on top of the soft sheet. I slowly put my legs up on it as well, and then had let myself lay down fully on my back. Next to my arm was a pillow Taemin always cuddled with. I remember it so clearly because it had been the pillow he had taken from my bed so I would sleep with him. It was nothing dirty really, he just liked the warmth we shared. Now that I thought about it..I slept with Taemin before anyone else. And I mean that in the least dirty way.

I remember it like it was yesterday. Taemin would hug this pillow so tightly and would cuddle into my arms, letting my chin rest on his head while both my pillow and him remained protected in my embrace. I would find him sleeping with a smile on his face, not to mention I would have one that was probably much wider stayed on my lips. There were such good times we had had, but the most that I'd treasure would have to be the nights where we would just stay in bed together and stare into one another's eyes with no words spoken whatsoever. We would be able to stay like that for who knows how long, but they felt like seconds. We never kissed because I was in a relationship. I didn't start to question my heart until I realized that I felt guilty when I was with Yuri rather than feeling guilty when I was with Taemin.

When I was with him, I felt at ease. It felt perfect and just the most amazing time I could have ever had in my life. But when I was with Yuri I always felt uncomfortable. I felt like I was cheating on Taemin with her, which confused the living hell out of me. But the months passed and I knew more and more that I loved Taemin and not her. Deep inside, those thoughts remained hidden somewhere, blinded with the the forceful thoughts of loving Yuri. I had never even slept on the bed with her until we got married. We still haven't even had , but Taemin had given me a once when we were drunk. I don't think he remembers, but I remembered it well because he had taken my ity. I hadn't taken his at all, I was too scared to do so.

Warmth filled my cheeks at the thought of that memory, but I soon forgot it while I took the pillow which I let Taemin purposely take. I hugged it into my arms like I would to him, and once I had sniffed it there were immediate tears at my eyes. His scent was so strong on this. It smelled like it had just been with him a few mintues ago, but I doubt that. His smell was always so strong, and I loved it. Him just passing by me to get a cup of water had me following him like a little puppy so I could hug him. My arms felt like magnets to him, and even when I was in a relationship with Yuri then, I felt more than comfortable having my hands all over him. I didn't feel wrong kissing his forehead or his cheeks, or his knuckles. I didn't feel guilty dreaming of him at night and falling asleep next to him. There were no such feelings of guilt in me when I was with him. You could have called me the happiest guy on Earth, because I really was.

It was all the opposite when I was with Yuri. I kept myself from her. I didn't like it when she tried to hold my hand or kiss me. It was always awkward between us, but I somehow blinded myself with that thinking she was the one I was to marry. The fear in me had just been that strong-to the point of where I not only betrayed myself, but everyone else as well. I had no mercy back then, only the thought of keeping an image was in my head. But that image was clearly broken by the foolish decisions I had made. I was practically placing my hand in front of a starving lion. And now that reality has given me a bite of what I had done, I pulled my hand back out, expecting it to come back in one piece when clearly it has been bitten off. The order that I so wanted to keep was disturbed and taken away from me because of the choices I made with a blindfold.

Everything that I so wanted to happen, was thought of with blindness. I assumed everyone would be happy. I assumed Taemin would be the most proud of all the others, but it was all the opposite. I was beaten up by the three who had helped me with my wedding, letting me clearly know what I've done. Taemin's attempted suicide was already like a knife in my chest, but reality wasn't nice enough to stop there. They had to bring in my friends' angered cries, his mother's sorrow, and my ex wife's fury. Everything is coming to me one by one with no mercy. And I knew more than anyone I deserved that.

The pillow I held seemed to be pushed closer to my chest to keep me from crying. I didn't want to stain his bed with my worthless tears. I had forced myself upright to keep from letting my tears fall on the clean sheets. But just then, something warm had touched my cheek and wiped away a tear that had managed to escape. With a small flinch I turned to my right instantly, seeing the one person I had been waiting for this whole time. "T-Taemin.." I whispered. The translucent figure before me seemed to glow in the somewhat dark room.

"Hello." He floated to sit in front of me before bringing both of his hands to me to lift my face higher. I was probably a mess. "You're not okay.."

I leaned to his touch and tried to put my hand on his face as well, but just like the little girl said I couldn't touch him. Only he could touch me. "Where have you been.." I whispered, still trying to touch his face.

He blinked and looked down. "I was searching."

"For what?" I asked in genuine curiousness.

"Answers.."

He looked up at me and leaned closer. Without even giving me a minute to process what was happening, he placed his lips on mine for a few seconds and pulled away. "Why did you..do that?" I asked, warmth filling my cheeks slightly because his grew a soft pink.

"I don't know. It was an impulse." He wiped my cheek again from a tear, "Like second nature."

I closed my eyes to feel more of his touch. "I missed you so much.."

"I know..I missed you too."

"What were you searching for?"

He remained quiet. There seemed to be something that he didn't want to tell me, but in the end he did. "How I almost died.." He said softly, "I was looking for how I almost died. Once I find that..I'll be able to go back."

My eyes widened, "Go back where? Don't leave me again please."

He smiled that gorgeous smile. "I'm going back so I can be with you."

"W-What do you mean?"

"It's complicated. You've done your part already..now you just have to wait for me. I just need to find out what had happened, and your name."

"My name?"

He nodded. "They said when you become like this, you tend to forget the name of the one who caused this to you if you knew them before. But once you figure that out, everything else will come by naturally and everything would be back to the way it was."

"How long will that take?"

He smiled softly. "However long it does take."

I frowned unintentionally and buried my face in my palms. "God-I miss you so much Taemin." My voice began to quiver. "But you don't even remember my name."

I felt his warmth wrap around me. Then small kisses were being pressed on my cheek which I loved so much. "I don't remember your name, but I know who you are to me. Isn't that enough?" I looked up from my hands and saw him with such reassurance filled in his orbs. "I'm here." He whispered. "I'm always here." He leaned to me and kissed me with that blushing face of his which I couldn't hold with my own two hands. I didn't feel much from him but there was warmth. There really was no texture, just warm air pressing very gently on my lips. But even I cherished that more than anything else in the world. Once he had broken the kiss he looked at me. "When I get my body back, it will be like this never happened. The me in the hospital bed won't know what you did or how you've been feeling in the time that flew by while being in a coma. Taemin won't know you broke everything off for him like I do."

"Y-You know?"

"Of couse I do." He said softly. "I could feel every feeling you have. The sadness, the pain, the loneliness. I feel it all. Even the guilt when you told her the truth. But Taemin won't know. He will wake up and start where you guys had left off."

I didn't mind that. At least by then Taemin still knew of my true feelings. He knew I too loved him back. Oh if only he can come back soon. "Can't I tell you what happened? I can tell you my name and tell you how you ended up in a coma..woudn't it be easier that way?"

"It doesn't work that way. Remember you tried to tell me something before but you only ended up stuttering? That's just gonna happen again. You can't tell me no matter how much you try, because I have to be the one to find my way back."

"But..But I need you."

"I know..which is why I'm here." Quietly, he made me lay down. He laid down with me and said, "Hug the pillow like you did before. This time, I'll be the one you're hugging."

I was reluctant, but as soon as I obeyed him I felt as if I was hugging a body. I looked down and sure enough it was him. He seemed to look less translucent while he cuddled in my embrace. I didn't think as I kissed his forehead, but I didn't care if I looked stupid. I felt like I was kissing nothing, but from the brightness that appeared on his cheeks, I knew I didn't just do nothing. "Please come back to me soon.." I said quietly.

"I will.."

And for once in my life, I felt like I could believe someone one hundred percent.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
A/n: You like it? I hope you do. I tried my best on this. To keep you guys updated, I've been getting a bit better. I'm sure soon enough I'll fully recover, but even through that I'll do my best in updating this story. This sequel is almost over, sorry for how short it was but it is only sequel to a one-shot ^.^ I don't know how many chapters more but I'm sure it'll be soon when it reaches it's end. Please continue to support me (: And thank you for giving me sarang! Love you all. Happy reading my lovelies~ (Excuse any errors)