I woke up with a sore back, the reason being because I had slept on the couch. I could have chosen to go to my old place with Taemin, but today was the day I would spill everything to my wife. I didn't want to keep anymore secrets from her, and even if this meant hurting a person, I would much rather do it now before it's too late. Then again, tellng her now is probably a bit too late. I took a shower as soon as I shook off my sleepiness, and then made breakfast for the both of us. I'm not doing all this because I'm her husband, or because I want to somehow lessen the pain I'll be giving her soon, but I'm doing all this since I care for her. I do love her, I love her and wish to stay close friends until we're older. But I don't love her in the way she wants me to. All of that kind of love has already been reserved for none other than Taemin.

Saying the truth now might have not been the solution to everything, but it was a start right? Besides hurting her, it could be a benefit to us all. She could go find someone who actually deserves her and will love her much better than I ever would have, and I can finally go to my old place without having to make up excuses. Not only that, but I wouldn't have to hurt her anymore. I was tired of being the bad guy all the time. I want to be able to start fresh, so that when Taemin comes back, I can finally give him what I should have. There were mixed emotions in me as I thought. I was both excited and anxious, but a little more of the second. In any minute now, Yuri could come down stairs to me, wanting an explanation which I knew I would be nothing close to prepared for. However, I did feel excited at the thought of finally being free of these lies. Even if it would be a small amount of happiness I'd be happy with just that.

As I was just about to pour water into the two cups of water laid out on the table, soft sounds of footsteps started to echo within the household.  It was because of that I was notified instantly and had my head facing towards the staircase. And just like the sounds had showed, I saw my wife's feet making their way down the stairs. My breath caught in my throat, and I could only hurriedly finish filling the cups before greeting her. "Good Morning." I said. With one look from her, I could tell her morning was nowhere 'good'. I'm assuming it's because of how I was last night, but I really wouldn't take back anything I said. I only loved Taemin..and I was not even close to lying to myself or everyone else all over again. Like I said before, I was done being the bad guy. I know that even if I did this I would still be seen as the criminal, but I'd rather be seen as one and know I corrected my mistakes. I don't want to remain in regret any longer than this. There was just no more space in my heart to hurt Taemin ever again.

"What is all of this?" She asked me with a hint of biterness in her voice.

"It's breakfast." I answered back, and held out the chair for her to sit on. "I made it for you."

There was doubt in her eyes, and I don't blame her. Despite that she still sat down on the chair and waited for me to take my own seat. Silently, both her and I started to eat. The air was filled with nothingness. Maybe you could say there was anger, but I'd have to say that only came from her. The only anger I had was from last night when she had called Taemin a corpse. "Is it good?"

"Yeah."

"Mm." I hummed and gently moved her cup closer to her.

Then out of nowhere, she just stopped eating and looked at me, making me stop my actions as well. "What do you really want to say to me? I know you didn't make this breakfast because you wanted to, I'm sure there's something more to this, so might as well just come out with it now while I'm expecting the worse to come-"

"I can't be with you anymore.." I said quietly.

Her eyes widened, tears starting to form before they hung desperately on her bottom lids. "Are..you serious?"

"Yes."

"Is that all you're going to tell me? Short answers with not even a single explanation?"

Quietly, I put my fork down and started fiddling with the table cloth, "Wouldn't an explanation only make all of this harder? Or is it something you really want me to say in order for this to be easier for you?"

"Well of course I'd want an explanation."

I sighed at her answer, she really didn't know what she was putting herself in for. "Fine. Three words, I love Taemin. Him and only him. He's the reason why I mourn, the reason why I smile, the reason why I even find happiness in the first place. Ever since we were young, I fell in love with him, but I was too much of a coward to ever tell anyone I was in love with a guy or even admit it to myself. But as soon as I found out he felt the same way I just shut down myself and everyone else around me. Maybe it's because I had an actual chance to make a move, maybe it's because I had no one stopping me from making it official with him that I dated girls to find something to hinderance me from just doing that. I wanted something, just something that would tell me I was not in love with a guy. But as the days passed by, his love for me became more obvious and even his mother started loving the idea of us being together.

"We received no discrimination whatsoever, which was what made me fight even more for a reason to keep me from him. All of that led to me finally dating you. I dated you, and I thought I fell in love. But it just wasn't that. I did fall in love, most definitely I did fall in love with you, just not in the way I fell for Taemin. I fell in love with your personality. I fell in love with how you hated seeing us together which kept me from him, I loved how you were kind to me and treated me so nicely. I just didn't realize I fell in love with the idea of you being my sister more than a lover." 

"I..I just can't imagine myself loving you in that way even if decades were to come. I freaked out back then because of realizing my true feelings for Taemin and proposed to you. But even then I chose to refuse my feelings. Now all of this mess is here, and I'm sitting here telling you I never loved you in that way to begin with because my heart was already with no other except Taemin." I paused for a moment, seeing just how horridly angry she got with each word added to my sentence. "I'm so sorry for everything. I'm sorry for all the lies, and all of the pain I've caused on you. The last thing I wanted was all of these things happening. I still can't stop from mourning because of how Taemin attempted suicide."

"Suicide?" She suddenly said.

"Neh, he..he tried to kill himself because of me. Because he loved me, and I was a ing coward in returning my feelings back to him. He tried to take himself away from this world all because of my doings, and I don't want that to happen ever again. I want to be there for him. When he wakes up, I want to be the first one he sees and tell him everything was okay now. That him and I could live the happily ever after he so deserved. So now I'm telling you what I will tell everyone else in order for this to be settled once and for all."

She remained silent, looking at her lap rather than my eyes. It was surprising that she was quiet, but I didn't try to keep her from that. She needed to think and take this all in. What I was afraid of was her hating me, but then again, if I was in her place I'd hate me too. After at least a good five minutes of thinking, she finally looked up at me. "Get out."

I frowned, knowing that she was going to say this. I guess I was just hoping she'd be sympathetic. "I'm sorry." I said as gently as I could. I wordlessly made my way to the door to put on my shoes which were on the floor. Once I did that, I was just about to leave until she spoke again.

"No. What I mean by get out is pack all of your stuff and leave. I'm going to get our divorce papers and finish everything. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you."

"Yuri..where do you want me to go then?"

"Where you always go!" She shouted. "Go to Taemin since you love him so ing much. Get out and leave, I don't care if you paid for this house, I don't care if by law I'm required to have you here with me, just get the out. You know more than anyone else how ing angry I am. So please leave me alone and just let me end everything between us so we could both just not see once another anymore."

"I..I don't want to lose you as a friend Yuri. You're precious family to me."

She shook her head, looking in disappointed in herself rather than me. "I can't be your friend Minho. I can't stand seeing you anymore. Especially after this."

"I'm sorry.." I didn't know what else to say.

"Just-Just leave." She said, her voice suddenly shaky. 

Ah, I see she didn't want me to see her cry. She always hid that from me. 

"Okay. I'll come back tomorrow and get my stuff, I'm sorry Yuri."

"Shut up." She sniffled. "Don't ing say sorry to me."

"Alright..please..don't hurt yourself over this. I'm not worth any of your tears, I'm sure you'll find someone else who deserves you."

"F-ing idiot."

"Please don't cry over me.." I coaxed.

And as I walked out through the door, I heard her mumble the words I didn't want her to admit, "Well sorry for falling in love with you."

-

I walked about the streets with nothing but a jacket and a scarf protecting me from the ice cold weather. I watched my feet sink into the few inches of snow until they were finally walking on pavement. My head ached, along with my heart that didn't know what else to do but feel in guilt. There really was no regret in what I did, and I wouldn't take back anything I had said from earlier either. I honestly just wish things could have gone better than this, but then again when would I ever deserve something like that to begin with?

Being it handed to me on a plate, or having to work hard for that better ending, I would choose neither. Rather, I'd pick one that would just have Taemin happy. I could care less to what happened to me."Taemin.." I whispered. It seems it was always his name that I find coming out of my mouth when I'm in need the most. "Where are you?..I've missed you so much." I stopped my tracks, letting my head hang low while looking at my shoes. With no other way of knowing I still have my sanity, I lifted up my sleeve and saw that the scar was indeed still there. The snow gently landed on my arm, the white dust slowly melting into droplets of water that somewhat made me feel as if my scar was being kissed. If it hadn't been for the cold weather my red nose would have been mistakened for something else.

But that was something else was what was happening to me. A coward who stood in the middle of the sidewalk, looking at his arm while droplets of liquids besides the snow landed on his arm, that was what was happening to the me right now and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I couldn't stop my sniffles, I couldn't stop the tears, and most of all I couldn't stop my sudden urge to just be with Taemin. I miss him so much. "What more should I do.." I cried softly. "What more can I do to have you back in my arms.." 

Without a second thought, I continued to walk. The cold seemed to become harsher, but it didn't affect my pace in going to the hospital.

I needed to see him. 

-

"Minho?" The nurse at the counter seemed to have recognized me right away. "Are you okay?" 

With a husky voice I answered a yes, still trying to hide the fact that I cried a little earlier.  "Can I please go to his room?"

"Isn't it too early for you to be here?" 

I shook my head. "I just want to see my husband.."

Sympathy filled her orbs and instantly she led me to his room despite knowing I already memorized where it was. I remained silent though, simply following her with stiff legs until I finally entered the designated room. There, she left me so I could be alone with my one and only true love, which I was greatful for because I don't think I would have been able to keep myself together seeing Taemin. My eyes teared, and I could only walk up to him before sitting near him and breaking down. Soft sobs left my lips, "T-Taemin.." I intertwined his soft hand with mine and pressed my quivering lips on his pale forehead. "Where have you been.."

Out of nowhere I felt myself jump because of a sound of a door opening. I turned immediately, seeing none other than Mrs.Lee with flowers in her hands. Just like me, she remained frozen at the sight of Taemin not being alone but rather with probably the last person she would want to see. "Minho?" 

I unintentionally squeezed Taemin's hand a little tighter, "Umma.." 

"Why are you here?" She eyes my hand, "And why are you holding his hand? You should be with your wife."

I frowned. "I'm divorcing.."

"What? Why?" She was always caring, even when angered or hurt by someone, she never failed to be kind with her motherly instincts. No wonder Taemin had grown up to be such a wonderful kid. 

"Because I love Taemin. And this should have been done to begin with." I turned to her fully, still not letting go of Taemin's hand as I bowed my head. "Mrs.Lee, when Taemin wakes up I'm planning on starting over with him. Whether or not you agree with me, please try considering it and my affection for him. I never meant for this to happen, I was just scared of everything and anything and I was a coward for doing all of these mistakes. I know I don't deserve any of this..I know happiness if the last thing I should even be thinking about, but..I just care for him so much. I can't bring myself to let anyone else have him."
 

She was quiet for a few moments, but then spoke. "He felt the same way about you, and yet you let yourself belong with someone else and made my child suffer. You were his best friend Minho, the one person who I trusted my son the most with. Not only that but I only saw him with you and no one else. I guess you didn't see yourself with him at all."

"Mrs.Lee please believe me when I say I will do my all to make him happy again. Please believe me when I say that my heart has belonged to no one else but him. Believe me when I say..that I want to marry your son."

"Why should I?" 

I frowned softly and turned to Taemin. With no other idea or thought in mind, I lifted up his oxygen mask to uncover his lips. Then I kissed his soft knuckles, up to his wrist, his forearm, his shoulder, his neck, his jaw, his cheek, and finally, his faded but beautiful pink lips. After doing this I turned to her and couldn't hold back the tears, "Because I love him with all of my heart."

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A/n: Hello. Well, I'd like to apoloize for the short chapter that I haven't checked for grammar and for my delay of putting this up. I've had really ty weeks so far. So first off, I broke my leg which means I'm in a cast that is aggravating as hell to have because it goes up all the way to my hip. Second, two of my friends died, one of them being my best friend that I'd known since I was 9. My best friend got into a car accident where he was sandwiched and had his guts spilled, and the other was murdered as she was on her way to meet up with family. I'm really sorry I couldn't post this up sooner, I've been having depression and I'm trying my best to get over it by writing even when I'm having writer's block added to my stress. Not to mention school is really hard with all of the upcoming tests and all. So yeah..this is my reason for having such a short, messy chapter and being gone for so long. 

All I'm hoping for right now is a better year. Thank you all for not leaving this story, I really appreciate it and feel like I have something to hold onto when I feel like I'm a bother to my family for being incapable of doing everything. So once again, like I always say, happy reading my lovelies, Annyong.