Since that day Victoria and Donghae almost meet every day, Kai that now all of that become more insecurity. He see her smile widely in front of him because of that he often take her out to take a lunch with him. Kai make an appointment with his friends at the club and when he go there he meet Donghae.

“Hyung it’s been a long time” Kai said and drink his drink.

“Hmmm.. You happy?” Donghae asked and look at him.

“More than happy” Kai smile and Donghae grip his glass tightly.

“Do you think Victoria happy with you? I know you love her but do you think she love you back?” Donghae make a one shoot of his drink.

“I’m sure she is happy enough with me hyung and I know she love me” Kai said his heart is boiling right now, he try to control his emotion.

“You know Kai even though it’s been 4 years I still love her I know it is wrong I’m sorry” Donghae said and Kai finish all of his drink.

“I ask her about her feeling and she said” Kai stand up from his seat.

“I don’t need to hear anything, I’m busy goodbye hyung” Kai leave the club and not even say anything to his friend. He can’t face her so he decided go to Sehun’s apartment.

“Oh what are you doing here?” Sehun asked Kai that go straightly to his room.

“What happen to you? Go home Vic noona must be waiting for you” Sehun said and Kai keep his head low.

“What should I do Sehun, she doesn’t love me in the first place but she has to marry me should I let her go?” Kai close his eyes.

“What the hell are you talking about?!” Sehun yelled at him. Seeing his friend talking about stupid thing make him really want to punch his friend right at his face.

“I think Vic still love Donghae and I make them suffer all this year but I love Victoria and I can’t let her go what should I do?” his tears come out he wipe it, Sehun look at Kai and sigh.

“How come you are so stupid Kim Jongin?! Vic noona love you why you always think she doesn’t!” Sehun shout at him and Kai stand up going out from his apartment.

Kai don’t go home that day, Victoria waiting for him until she fell asleep in the sofa. Victoria call Kai over and over time, but he didn’t pick up, her body doesn’t feel well and she keep feeling nausea since yesterday night. Victoria then cook breakfast for Kai in case he go home and hungry then go out for work. Kai didn’t sleep and go home he go straight to the office and take a shower in there, he can’t think straight and he need to solve everything so he decided to go to Victoria’s office.

“Vic are okay?” Donghae asked Victoria’s face is really palm and she keep on go to the bathroom to throw up.

“I’m okay Hae I’m just a little bit dizzy” Donghae look at her worriedly when she stand up to get her document she almost fell out so Donghae grab her. Kai that just go in see it wrongly and feel so angry at her and grab her roughly.

“We need to talk!” Kai said and take her out.

“Tell me the truth! You still love Donghae right?!!” Kai asked her and Victoria place her hand on her head she feel so dizzy right now but she need to get thing straight because Kai misunderstanding her relationship with Donghae.

“No you know I love you Kai” Victoria said softly and try to touch his face but he prevent it.

“Don’t lie to me!” Kai shout at her and she shocks hear his loud voice. Tears come out from her eyes.

“You don’t believe me Kim Jongin? After this years I spend with you, you still don’t believe me? I give you everything of me to you Kim Jongin” Seeing her like this make his heart melt but he still can’t believe it all he don’t want to hurt her and he think the best way to solve it all is to let her go.

“No!” Kai shout and Donghae punch him right at his face.

“You are too much Kai how come you do that to her!” Donghae grab his collar and look at him angrily.

“I can’t stand seeing it all, I hope you to disappear from my life and I will process our divorce” Kai said carelessly and Victoria widened her eyes when she hear “divorce” from him.

Kai look at Victoria but then he just walk away without looking back.

“Are you okay Vic? I’m sorry” Donghae hug her and she cry a lot after what he do to her.

“He say he don’t want to look at me, he want me to disappear” Victoria crying and she can’t stop it she feel like her heart broke into pieces. She love him so much and he is the last person that she want to spend her day with until she closed her eyes. 

Kai go straightly to their home and when he go in he see the table full of food that made by Victoria. He see the note in the table and read it.

Why you don’t come home? Are you busy? You don’t pick my call L

I make a breakfast for you in case you go home and hungry, not seeing you one day make me longing to see you I miss you so much Kim Jongin. I don’t feel well I’m sorry if the food doesn’t taste well call me if you have time. I love you so much Kim Jongin

XOXO, Victoria

Tears come out from his eyes when he read it, he know he make mistake he doesn’t have to say that to her. He go up and go to their room, he open his watch and open the drawer and found Victoria’s diary in there. He takes it and open the diary.

March 21^st 2011

First page first experience that I will share with this book

My old diary is already full and I think it’s time to burn it, I have another new memory that I will write. Kim Jongin and I already engaged I don’t know but I end up with him. I do star gazing with him today and he kiss me, he also asked me what will be my wish but I don’t tell him. My wish is I want to love Kim Jongin as a man and I hope I will be a good wife for him. In the past I see him as a man once but he don’t even realize it he say he love me since long time ago but I think I am the first one who love him first. I remember at that time I’m still in 15 years old and he is just 12 but he already so handsome so I can’t help it but to fall for him but then Sehun said he like a girl in his class so I give up on him. Kim Jongin even after you ignore me for that girl I can’t forget you but Donghae did it. But you make me yours and I want my heart to beating like in the past. Kim Jongin you can do that right?

Without his know tears come out from his eyes he keep reading her diary and he know Victoria love him. What have he done? He thought he know he make a mistake and he need to clear it all.

Donghae that seeing her face become more pale take her to the hospital, he wait patiently. When she go out he stand up.

“What happen to you?” Donghae asked worriedly.

“I’m pregnant Donghae” Victoria said and cries.

“Why are you crying? You must be happy, Congratulation Vic” Donghae hug her tightly and she can’t talk anything at that time. She is so scared if Kai know it all he will hate her more, he tell her to disappear from his live.

“Is it because of Kai? Vic I know he doesn’t mean it believe me” Donghae said and caress her hair.

On the other side, Kai go into his car and call her but she didn’t pick up so he decided to call Donghae.

“Hyung please tell me where Victoria is, I’m wrong please I need to clear it all” Kai said in desperate tone.

“She is not with me, she go back to your house” Donghae said and Kai hurriedly turn back his car.

“Kim Jongin listen to me, Victoria she have a big news to tell you and I think it’s better if she is the one that tell you about it. Be happy Kai-ah” Donghae hung up the phone and Kai get off from his car and go back inside the house. It almost one hour passed but she doesn’t show up, he then try to call her and she pick up his call.

“Vic where are you?” Kai asked hurriedly.

“I’m sorry, do you know Ms. Victoria?” the one that talking is not Victoria but an old lady.

“Yes… where is Victoria? Why you have my wife phone?”

“Sir your wife got into accident and right now she is in the emergency room in Seoul Hospital” when he hear that he is running to his car and drive there. His tears come out endlessly, he can’t believe it happen.

“Victoria please I beg you hang in there” he speed up and arrived at the hospital, he see a stranger in front of the emergency room and explain everything to him. Then the doctor comes out.

“How’s my wife?” Kai asked and the doctor sighs.

“I’m sorry but I can’t save the baby, the baby age is just two week and really weak. Your wife surgery going on smoothly but she is still in coma” Kai shock when he hear about the baby.

“You mean my wife pregnant?” Kai asked the doctor and the doctor nodded his head.  He can’t believe at what he is doing to her. He kill the baby and if Victoria can’t make it he also kill his wife. Sehun rush from his workplace when he hear what happen to Victoria and when he go there he see Kai crying and hung his head low.

“Kai is Victoria okay?” Sehun asked and patted his back.

“Sehun I kill the baby I kill our baby what should I do?” Kai stand up and hug his best friend, Sehun just stood up in there and tears come out from his eyes. An hour later Victoria’s mom and Kai’s parents come but Victoria still in coma and they can’t do anything but just praying. Kai stay at her side and keep on telling her I’m sorry. 2 weeks passed but Victoria is not wake up yet, Kai look like a live zombie. Sehun and Taemin that see it all become so sad when seeing their best friend look like that. Kai that just come back after take a shower caress his wife cheek and kiss her forehead, he sit beside her bed and look at her.

“Vic can you wake up? I’m sorry I was wrong I need you Vic please wake up I can’t live without you” Kai crying again, for the last two week his tears can’t stop coming out from his eyes then he feel her hand move, he hurriedly call the doctor. The doctor comes to check her condition, she finally open her eyes and the first thing that she said make him frozen at his place.

“How’s my baby doctor?” Victoria asked and look at the doctor.

“It’s still alive right?” Victoria asked the doctor but the doctor keeps silent and gives her a sad look.

“I’m sorry Miss Victoria but we can’t help the baby, I’m really sorry” the doctor bow his head.

“You need more rest Ms. Victoria, you are not fully recovered yet” the doctor leave her and Kai come to her then he hug her.

“I’m sorry Vic please forgives me it’s all my fault” Kai hug her tightly, seeing her sad expression when hear that the baby is dead make his heart broke into pieces. Victoria hugs Kai back.

“Thank you Vic thank you because you are awake” Kai kiss her deeply, he miss her.

“I kill the baby” Victoria softly said but Kai tightened the hug and shook his head.

“No you don’t” Kai said and Victoria crying on his shoulder.

“We can make it again thank you because you don’t leave me” Kai kiss her forehead.

“I Love you Kai please believe me” Victoria said and Kai nodded his head.

-2 years later-

Kai who is just finished all his works go straightly to his home, when he arrived nobody greet him. He go to the kitchen but nobody there then he hear a baby crying and finally he know where his wife is.

“Haneul-ah stop crying mommy here” Victoria carry her baby and move to make her son sleep.

“Oh look who is here Haneul-ah, your daddy home” Victoria look at Kai and smiling.

“Come to daddy Haneul-ah, let me make him sleep” Victoria pass Haneul to her husband and go to the kitchen to make him dinner. Haneul sleep on his arms so he take him to the bed and go out quietly, finally he have time with his wife. He go to the kitchen and hug her from behind, scent her and kiss her because he miss her so much.

“Kim Jongin what are you doing? I’m cooking” Victoria said and Kai doesn’t bother and kiss her neck.

“Eat first okay? We can do it later” Kai pouted and obediently listen to his wife. He finish his dinner quickly and go to hug her.

“Let’s make a sister for Haneul” Kai said and carry his wife, Victoria just giggle and then kiss his lips. He respond to her kiss and when they arrived in their room he take off his shirt and kiss her deeply. Victoria open her dress and Kai hungrily kiss her neck and move to her . He unclasped her bra and kiss her two peak, Victoria moan his name but then their baby Haneul crying. Victoria stand up and wear her dress and run to Haneul’s room.

“Kim Haneul why now?!” Kai groan and go chasing his wife.

“Vic let’s do it quickly it’s hurt” Kai said and Victoria just ignore him.

“Our Haneul must be hungry, let me feed you” Victoria feed her son and Haneul stop crying. Kai look at them boringly.

“Noona you are so mean” Kai pouted and Victoria just glare at him then Kai go nearer.

“Yah Kim Haneul you like it? Are you happy?” Kai poke his son’s cheek then receive a death glare form his wife.

“Kim Jongin! He is eating don’t do that” Victoria nag at him and he pouted his mouth.

“I want to eat too, feed me” Victoria smack his hand that try to grab her other .

“Auch! It’s hurts” Kai said and Victoria just stick out her tounge.

“Look you leave me hanging and this is what I get? You must be ready because after this I will not let you out from our room until morning” Kai said and Victoria just roll out her eyes.

“Vic let’s do it now, he is still a baby so he doesn’t understand” Kai said and ready to take off his short and Victoria smack his head.

“Auch! It hurts, you make my pain double” Kai pouted.

“You ert how come we do it in front of our innocent angel” Victoria give him a glare.

“Haneul-ah your mother is mine okay don’t be a bad boy and steal her from me” Kai smirk.

“You are crazy Kim Jongin he is your son, go out and leave us alone he can’t sleep because you are too noisy” Kai sigh and go out from the room but come back again to give her a peck on the lips.

“I love you and you too little Haneul, daddy and mommy will give you dongsaeng today so eat a lot and sleep tight” Kai kiss his son cheek and wink at Victoria.

“I love you Kim Jongin” Victoria said.

“I know, feed him quickly” Kai go out from the room.

A 9 years old Victoria run and smiling widely in the Kim family’s house, the little Jongin that chase her slip and little Victoria who see that stop running and hurriedly come to the little boy that already crying. She hug the little guy and tapped his head to make him stop crying, when she hear the little boy stop crying she go to take medicine for the little Jongin. Jongin who see Victoria leave him crying again and try to stand up but his ankle hurt and make him sit at the grass again, Victoria that come with a box of medicine rush to him.

“Why you stand up Kim Jongin? Stay still” little Victoria take Jongin and sit him on her lap.

“I thought Qian noona leave me” Jongin pouted and hug her.

“Noona will never leave you alone Jongin” Victoria smile not long Kai’s mom come and see the scene.

“Oh My! What happen to Jongin?” Kai’s mom look at Kai’s wound and smile.

“Oh Vic you already give him ointment, good girl” Kai’s mom said and kiss her cheek.

“I’m going to make you guys lunch be a good kid neh?” Kai’s mom patted both Kai’s and Victoria’s head then go to the kitchen.

“Jongin-ah are you okay now?” Victoria asked and Jongin nodded his head smiling.

“Noona” Jongin call her.

“Why Jongin-ah?” Victoria look at him.

“In the future I want you to be my wife and I will take care of you like what you did to me” Jongin said confidently.

“Jongin that so sweet of you” Victoria said and smile.

“I really mean it noona” Little Jongin said and Victoria just smile.

“What if someone marry me first?” Victoria asked and Jongin who hear her question pouted his lips cutely.

“That’s not going to happen” Kai said and stand up but he yelp because of his injury.

“Just sit down Kim Jongin” Victoria said softly.

“Noona I promise you I will marry you and make you the happiest girl in this world, you are the only one person in this world that I want to marry! I promise” Jongin said and hand out his little finger.