When changmin realizes yunho is not kissing back or pushing back, a wave of embarrassment and nausea hits him at once. He got up quickly and sprinted towards the front door and got out of the room as fast as he can slamming the door behind him.

After a quick run towards his car, he got in and starts punching the steering wheel in earnest. ‘ his life, what the hell was he thinking? Kissing.. yunho of all people?’ How is he going to explain that to the older man.

‘Hey hyung, am sorry I made out with your face without your consent?’ Or is he going to say, ‘Hey hyung, sorry I have this weird intense feelings for you and I don’t know that to do with them?’

‘Seriously, his life’.

***

Things went back to the same way they were after the incident, changmin calls it the incident because he doesn’t want to say kiss and remind himself the shame he felt afterwards, the sting of rejection that cut deeper than he would like to admit.

Changmin all about spend the next four weeks ignoring yunho and this time it was mutual. Yunho spends as much time avoiding changmin. After four weeks though, it got too much, the need for the easiness he had with hyung got bigger, he wants the brotherhood they had to be back feelings be damned, he wants the caring, thoughtful and loving hyung back who guides him through the busy hours of their schedule and holds him through his aches and worries.

So changmin began making a plan, the apology plan. Which is going to be executed today, He cooked yunho’s favorite dish, practiced what he wanted to say in front of a mirror for an hour and waits for his hyung to come back to their apartment.

Just on time, he heard a soft click of the door being opened and he straightened up. Standing to his feet with full attention from the couch he was lounging on in the living room.

Like the past weeks spent, yunho just mumbled a greeting and started his way towards the stairs.

Gulping, changmin gathered his courage and spoke, “hyung, can we have a quick talk please?”

Yunho looked back at him, one foot on the beginning of the bottom stair. He sighed and rubbed his eyes with the back of a hand. “changmin, I know what you want to talk about. But I’m not in any shape or form for that ‘talk’ right now. I’m sorry.”

“yunho, please, we are not like we used to and it is killing me. I hate this distance between us. I know it is my fault entirely and I want to fix it so please give me your time. I even made dinner to help on the conversation.” Continued changmin praying his plea will not fall in deaf ears.

 “not tonight, changmin” is the reply he got from his hyung before he continued to walk up the stairs.

***

After that failed conversation, the ignoring each other by choice resumed in full force. Weeks passed and there was still no making up.

It is not for lack of effort on changmin’s part though, he really did try. He tried to explain and apologize multiple times it is just he didn’t get the audience.

So he stopped trying all together. If yunho, gets even more hostile at the attempts of apology he makes then why stress the man, right? If only it was this easy to file away his feelings.

Call it infatuation or a crush or a misguided admiration, it is all he thinks about these days. Lying on his bed after a hard labor of the day. Just wondering what it would be like if yunho returned his kiss back then? If they could get to do more than kissing? how it would go? Where it would lead them?

A shudder escapes changmin at the thought. It is frustrating how emotionally attached he is to the man. Yunho has been with him through thick and thin. They relied on each other for survival. He would do anything for the older man and is sure yunho would do the same for him. So when did these platonic feelings turned into something more?

When he thinks about it, for changmin, they always have held a deeper meaning. The closeness, the lingering touches they share. The long hugs they exchange after the end of a concert or a few days separation. These simple acts have always held a stronger meaning for changmin. He just didn’t realize them until that stupid prank.

Sighing, changmin turned his face into his pillow releasing a silent scream. Life is too damn complicated sometimes, when it doesn’t need to be.

Changmin was going in and out of a sleepy haze, tired of contemplating his feelings for yunho, when he heard a soft knock at his bedroom door. He quickly jumped up and straightness  his clothes, went to the bathroom mirror to check if everything’s in order, no dry drool on his face or messy hair at site.

When he is sure everything is in order he sat back on his bed smiling at his siliness and said “come in”

“hi changmin” came the serious tone followed by yunho’s head piping between the cracked door.

Confused and nervous about what’s to come changmin replied with a slow “Hi …yunho”

Without saying a word, Yunho looked at him for a while making him even more uncomfortable under that scrutiny, tired of the depressing silence and awkwardness, he was about to start with his rehearsed apology when yunho hurriedly said “I’m moving out” and walked away shutting the bedroom door behind him, leaving a stunned changmin at his wake.  

****

A/N: i appologize for the late update. i have been so busy the past year i couldn't bring myself to sit down and wirte. i am stil busy but determined to finish this story i hope it still has readers left :)