Worlds Apart by writerFairy

Class B review

 

 

 

1)Story Title: 6/10

 

The title is okay but it doesn’t have great impact simply because it is common. Then, when I read the story, I honestly think the title is not that appropriate since they all live in the same world. But it is also somehow acceptable since Suho was raised in the world he doesn’t really belong and is apart from those people the same as him.

 

 

2)Description: 11/15

 

Your description is simple but it made me a bit curious which is good. However, I don’t see a clear connection between your story title and the description. And I somehow didn’t feel any angst or drama in it.

 

 

3)Foreword: -/-

I don’t think it needs to be rated.

 

 

4)Grammar, Spelling and Punctuation: 15/30

 

I hope this isn’t offending. You have a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes and that made me a bit confused whenever I’m reading. All I can tell you is that not all words that sound the same have the same spelling. If you aren’t sure, check a dictionary. Your wrong spellings lead to grammar mistakes. I hope you’ll be careful next time. There’s always time for improvement. The best advice that I can give you is to read books.

 

 

5)Layout and Typography: 10/10

 

I like your layout especially the title of every chapter. It’s simple but really nice.

 

 

6) Narrative Elements: 30/35

 

-Characters-

I like your characters. What you wrote in the description is really shown by your characters. They’re also consistent on what their attitudes are. Congratulations for that.

 

-Conflict-

You execute the conflicts well. However, there are some parts that are a bit confusing. Like the alpha and omega thing. I was just a bit surprised on how it came in the story. It suddenly popped out. No introductions.

 

-Flow of Events-

I like your flow of events. Smooth and I didn’t find lots of irrelevant scenes. There may be some confusing scenes because of the one I said in the conflicts part and some grammar problems but it will be alright.

 

-Settings-

I can feel the mood of the scene. It’s good. But I suggest you add more descriptions on the places so that we, readers, can imagine it clearly.

 

 

7) Narrative Delivery: 23/25

 

You write nicely. Or I can say your story is really nice. I like your twists and your characters really fit. Everything is going good. But like as what I’ve said earlier, some are confusing. I suggest you make an introduction to new things before really putting them in.

 

 

8) Overall Taste of the Story: 10/10

 

I really enjoyed despite all the flaws. I’m hooked in your story. I’m not a fan of werewolves but I like your story. Good job and good luck!

 

Total: 105/135 = 77.8%

Reviewer: Shayri