Lu Han hums happily as he puts a baby bib on the person in front of him, ruffling the other’s hair for effect before taking a step back to admire his work. He’s wearing his soccer uniform and cleats and he really should be outside on the field practicing with his teammates since he’s the captain, but he has more important matters to attend to which consists of the person in front of him and the baby bib he bought the day before just for this specific occasion.   The basketball team pays him no mind, already used to Lu Han barging into their basketball practices and taking their captain away or another one of their teammates to do whatever he pleases. But right now, Yifan is standing behind him in his own basketball uniform with his arms crossed and frowning in disapproval, because what the hell is his boyfriend doing?   “Yixing, my friend,” Lu Han declares proudly, staring down at his best friend who’s looking up at him with the most confused face either of them has ever seen in a long time, “You are now my son.”   Yifan whips his head in the direction of his boyfriend. “Since when did we have a kid?”   “Since when was I the kid?” Yixing questions with a disapproving frown on his face. He tugs at the bib hooked around his neck until it comes free and turns it in his hands to see a picture of a blue bunny on the front. “A bunny?”   Lu Han waves off his boyfriend, moving forward to re-strap the bib onto his friend. “Since you started dating me, we’ve always had kids.” He smiles cutely as he settles the fabric back around his friend’s neck. “And you remind me of a bunny, Xing.”   “But I don’t–”   “Where was I when we had these kids?” Yifan asks in disbelief, “I did not agree to any such things.”   “Things?” Lu Han retorts back, eyebrows furrowing in his anger as he turns to face his boyfriend. “Kids are people. They are not items.”   “Do I really look–”   Yifan rolls his eyes. “Okay,” he says slowly, “I did not agree to obtaining any such children. Where was I when you decided this?”   “Wait,” Yixing suddenly interrupts, raising his hand in the air, “Do you not want me? I’m hurt, Fanfan.”   “Yifan!” Lu Han suddenly hisses and Yifan’s eyes widen considerably as the former freaking coddles their best friend as he pretends to cry on his shoulder. He’s on the receiving end of a nasty glare and he tries to sigh subtly at the anger directed towards him. “Don’t say that in front of our child, and don’t sigh at this!”   Now, Yifan only has two options. He can either salvage whatever bizarre situation he has gotten himself into. Or he can simply walk away and warm up with the rest of his teammates.   He chooses the former, simply because Lu Han is gorgeous as and he’d be an idiot to ruin their relationship because he’s going through some weird… thing he can barely comprehend right now.   He gives them a soft smile, walking up to them and gently putting his hand on Yixing’s head. “Of course I want you, Xing. You’d be the perfect son for us.” He hears sniffles and he visibly flinches when Yixing looks up at him with big, brown eyes. And then he knocks him on the side of the head. Lightly. “Stop that, and get to practice.”   Yixing immediately jumps at the opportunity, about to fight his way out of Lu Han’s hold when the elder’s arms just tighten around him more. He whines. “Lu-ge. Captain’s orders.”   “My son will not be playing basketball,” Lu Han suddenly declares, and Yifan feels like he’s going to get whiplash soon, “My son will be playing soccer.”   “But I’m already on the team!”   “But he’s already on the team!”   Yifan and Yixing look to each other before the former tries and helps his teammate out of his boyfriend’s hold. “Lu,” Yifan breathes out, and he forgets how strong Lu Han can actually be, “My son will be playing basketball. And that’s final.”   “Like hell it’s not,” Lu Han breathes back, tugging Yixing back to him. Yixing feels used. “I’m the father between us, and I demand my son to focus his talents in soccer.”   “Don’t curse in front of our child,” Yifan reprimands with a scowl on his face, “And I’m the father, if anything. My height guarantees me as father.”   “You guys know I’m not actually your son,” Yixing struggles to say in between tugs, “Right?”   “Don’t tell me what to do. Height has nothing to do with maternal or paternal roles in a relationship.”   “Guys,” Yixing breathes out, the bib cutti