"We never see each other any more," Bambam huffed as we walked to the lunch hall. 
I looked at him guiltily. I was being a terrible cousin, a terrible friend and an even worse best friend. 
"I'm not expecting you to apologise. You've been through a lot recently," Bambam said recognising my sadness.  I gave him a weak smile in reply. 

Once we got our lunch, we stood on the sidelines, scanning the lunch hall for a place to sit. Jackson was sat with Yugyeom, Jessica, Mun and Jr. Jackson didn't look very interested, as his two friends spoke to the girls. On the opposite side of the room, Mark, Youngjae, Jb and Daiyu were sitting at a table. Our friendship group was well and truly broken.
"Can we sit with my cousin?" I mumbled. 
Bambam glanced at Jackson's table hesitantly, before looking away and nodding. 
As we made our way to the other table, everyone greeted us. Although I felt a tension rising from the other side of the hall. 
I began eating my pasta, when Daiyu's eyes widened to look behind me. 
'What?' I mouthed, but it was too late.
"Maya, can we talk, properly?" Jackson asked softly. 
Daiyu stared at Jackson in confusion and then glanced back at me, waiting for my reply. 
"There's nothing else for you to say to me," I said to him seriously. 
I scanned his face, it was no longer pleading like before but he seemed frustrated. I didn't know whether he was frustrated with me or himself. 
"Well just think about excepting my apology, I don't expect anything else," he said turning away. 
I looked down at my plate of pasta and pushed it away. 
"Don't lose any sleep over him," Daiyu said reaching for my hand across the table but I pulled away abruptly. 
"I know," I said roughly. 
As much as it hurt me, I was losing sleep over the entire situation. I felt bad for not accepting his apology, I didn't want to see him hurt. But then I had to realise that he'd hurt me just as bad. 

As lunchtime came to an end I sat in class, my eyes following a blonde-haired girl who trailed into the classroom. Blonde?! As I caught a glimpse of her face, I realised It was Jinhee. The petite Korean girl had dyed her hair blonde and from the look on everyone's faces, they were as surprised as I was. Her face looked sullen and moody and her eyes were now sunken, she looked like she hadn't slept in days.  
She noticed that I was on our usual desk. For a moment, it felt like nothing was wrong. It felt like she was going to sit next to me and start friendly conversation as we always did. But that was before all of this  She gave me a cold stare which sent a chill down my spine, before sitting at another empty desk. So she still thought I was to blame, I thought. I wondered if Jackson and Jinhee were talking again. The idea strangely infuriated me. Jackson didn't deserve the attention. Prehaps I didn't want either of them to have the attention. 
"Miss Yoo, I hope you realise that dyed hair is not part of the uniform code of our school," the teacher informed Jinhee.
 The girl shrugged, turning around to give Jackson a cold yet seemingly longing glare. 

I looked over to Bambam who was holding a folded piece of paper, he mouthed that it was from Mark. He was sat at the back of the class, surprisingly next to Jackson, and smiled softly at me when I looked at him. 
I opened the piece of paper with shaking hands, it read: 

You look angrier than Jr. when I ate his last cookie. 

It was pathetic, but the little note made me giggle despite myself. 
Jackson squinted to view the note I was writing in reply to Mark, although he couldn't see due to the distance between our desks. 
I sent the piece of paper over to Bambam to pass to Mark. I asked if he wanted to go for coffee. 
Mark shook his head, and I gave him a pout in reply.
I saw the boy lean over the paper like a child, trying to cover it from Jackson and he scribbled something else onto it before passing it to Bambam. The younger boy rolled his eyes, clearly the role of being a messenger was beginning to get tiring.
What if I don't want to go on a date with you, Maya? was what the message read. 
I stared at it with my mouth agape, remembering him saying something similar in the detention room. 
I wrote a final message explaining that coffee wasn't a date, and he shrugged his shoulders in reply, a hint of a smirk appearing on his face.
I turned back to my work, mortified and my pride slightly dented. 
Bambam eyed my page of work which I was frustratedly scribbling at. "Is it Mark?" 
"It's boys. I think you're the only boy I can put up with," I laughed. 
The younger boy looked at me seriously, "He likes you."
"Who does?" 
"Mark," he whispered, "But he doesn't want to hurt you or Jackson."
I glanced at Mark guiltily, who was doing his work with a tired Jackson slumped next to him. I knew his friendship with Jackson meant a lot to him, and it made my heart want to burst. 
"Well if that's the case, he's teasing me and it's annoying. I feel like I've just got a load false hope," I sighed.
"You tease me all the time," Bambam pointed out. 
"Yeah, but that's because you're like my brother, I care for you and you know I do," I 
The boy shrugged his shoulders with wide eyes, "Maybe he thinks you know he cares for you."
The younger boys words stuck in my mind. They made sense, but it made my heart pound with an overwhelming feeling of hope. 
I passed Mark one more note telling him I understood. 
Bambam was midway passing the note over to Jackson to pass to Mark, when the teacher caught him. 
"Is that note from you?" she asked, coming over to our desk and staring at Bambam.
"It's from me, Miss," I told her. 
"You were giving it to Jackson Wang?"
Jinhee and the rest of the class turned to me, and I felt myself blush in embarrassment. I shook my head, but Jinhee was already looking at me with a mix of disgust and disappointment. 
"It was for me, it's my fault," Mark owned up quietly. 
"Both of you will be joining me in after school detention then," our teacher said, giving us a fake smile and walking to the front of the classroom. . 

Half an hour of detention was over and as the teacher told us this, Mark was already out of the door, his school bag slung over one shoulder. 
I ran over to him as we got outside. 
"Are you avoiding me?" I asked quietly, trying to catch my breath. 
Mark stopped walking so fast and turned to me, "No, why would you think that?"
"You just walked off," I mumbled.
Mark raised an eyebrow, "Why is that a problem. We don't walk home from school together," 
I shrugged, suddenly feeling like a small child. 
"Were you expecting me to walk you home?" Mark laughed lightly. 
"No."
"Well that's too bad, because I'm walking you home now you've stopped me," he said taking my hand lightly and then thinking better of it and dropping his own to the side. 
I looked at his hand regretfully. He was going to hold my hand. 
We began walking home in a silence. 
"You live in the other direction, don't you?" I said beginning to feel guilty for accepting Mark's suggestion. 
"It doesn't matter. It's dark," he said softly.
I squinted my eyes at him, "What does that mean?"
"It'll be safer...for you to walk with someone," he mumbled. 
I looked up at the boy in surprise, who began to pick up his pace to avoid my gaze.
"Is Jackson friends with Jinhee again?" I asked when we were approaching my street. 
Mark shook his head in the darkness, "After Jackson heard everything Jinhee shouted at you, he said doesn't want anything to do with her."
I felt a pang of guilt in my heart, but recognized that this was Jackson's fault, and so the pain in my heart was slowly replaced with a cold feeling of indifference. 
"Are you ever going to forgive him?" Mark asked, looking at me with soft brown eyes. 
I had to look away, "I'll think about it. Only because I want the friendship group back to the way it was. I don't like the way we're so divided because of one thing." Mark nodded, raking a hand through his hair. 
We stopped at the gate by my house in silence. Mark and I were so close to each other that I could feel his breath on my exposed neck. 
"You should come in for some dinner," I suggested, but Mark only shook his head. 
"It's getting really cold, and it's warm in the house. I don't want you to get ill," I explained. 
"Yes eomma," Mark chuckled. 
I looked down at the ground in embarrassment before glancing up at his smirking face. 
"So are you coming in?" I asked hopefully, but Mark shook his head. 
"Don't worry about me," he said softly, bringing  a cold hand up to the side of my face. His thumb rubbed softly back and forth against my cheek. As ridiculous as it sounded, although his hands were freezing cold my cheek felt like it was on fire from his sudden touch. He looked at me through long lashes, before glancing at my lips. He stared up behind me momentarily and dropped his hand gently. I turned to see what he was staring at and could just make out Daiyu's bedroom curtain twitch. I sighed in annoyance. 
"I'll see you at school okay?" he whispered.  
I nodded, too lost for words. 
"And I'm sorry about getting you put in detention today," Mark apologised. 
"What happened to no more apologies?" I laughed.
Mark shrugged, before giving me a smile and walking off. 

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Hi everyone! I hope you're all well. This is a small update. I've been busy with school work recently and I'm very tired, but I appreciate reading your comments and I thank all the new subscribers for subscribing to the story. Lots of love, 

Maria xo