"Have you always wanted to make music?"

Yixing looked back at him from where they were going over the final touches of the song, "Ever since I was a child," he replied, lips breaking out into a full grin.

Jongdae remained silent. He'd been giving the matter too much thought lately, with all the general annoyance that had seemed to take over his life, besides his persistent inability to sing high notes. Everything had seemed overwhelming for as long as he could remember. And he was so tired.

"Do you still like it, though? Aren't you just... tired of this whole thing?"

The pianist shook his head, dimple still there, "I really love what I do. Can't imagine my life without music in it. What about you?"

He considered telling Yixing that yeah, the same applied to him. That he was utterly happy, living the dream. He just couldn't.

"I... I don't really..." he trailed off. He wasn't even sure what he wanted to say. That after all his hard work, he wasn't sure if this was what he wanted for his life? That he liked it most of the time, but lately he'd been having a horrible time? That he was wasting the opportunity many guys would've died for?

When he raised his eyes, Yixing was calmly studying him. He squirmed under his scrutiny, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

"It's your life, you know," the man finally said, tone serious but gentle, "You should do something that makes you happy. Don't you think?"

"I am happy," Jongdae explained, sighing at how fake it sounded. "At least I thought I was. But this couple of months got me thinking if this was really what I wanted. And I don't know what to do about it."

"Just... think about it," Yixing shrugged, "Figure out what you want in life and start working towards it. You don't have to decide right now."

"Guess so," Jongdae mumbled, turning back to work.

“Is something wrong?” Yixing inquired, penetrating eyes looking right through him, “You can talk to me if you want, you know that, right?”

Jongdae nodded, a lump forming on his throat. He felt everything closing up on him, suffocating him. He couldn't shut up his thoughts, couldn't get out. And suddenly he couldn't breathe, every thought painfully black. He felt like crying and running and hiding for no reason, anxiety attack only subsiding when he felt a warm hand on his.

“Jongdae. Look at me,” Yixing said softly, pulling on his hand until he raised his eyes, “Breathe. We can do this. Just breathe.”

It took several minutes before Jongdae was calm enough to feel embarrassed of his behavior. He attempted a feeble smile at Yixing, who dismissed it with a smile of his own.

"Hey, don't be so hard on yourself, okay?" he said cheerfully, "You have your whole life ahead of you. For now, the songs can wait. Let's go. I'm craving ice cream."

Luckily, things had changed quite drastically after their night at the bar. Not only had their relationship gotten better, but also had their compositions. Yixing's additions to their repertory had lifted a huge weight off their shoulders, allowing them to focus on their upcoming performance. It wasn't easy, though. As much as Jongdae had loved to take his throat problems out of his mind for a couple of weeks, they were still there, and came back full force as soon as he even attempted a high note.

He'd decided to work on it privately, not wanting to worry Yixing without need nor to make a fool of himself. Though, it didn't take long for the man to realize that something was wrong, especially after their talk, questioning Jongdae about it until he'd reluctantly admitted his issue.

Yixing had leaned against the piano, lips pursed in concentration, and considered him for a couple of moments, before finally speaking up.

"Let me see."

"What?"

Yixing rolled his eyes, a smirk playing on his lips, "Just sing for me. Whatever you want."

With a bit of apprehension, Jongdae settled for one of his latest songs, the one he'd been trying to record before the duet deal came up. The song started fairly low, no problem about it. On the high note, though, his voice broke right on cue.

"It's wrong," Yixing commented when the melody died out, "Your breathing, I mean."

"I've been going to singing coaches for years. I think I'd know if my technique had been wrong all along," Jongdae scoffed.

"It's not wrong per se," the pianist rectified, "You're just putting too much pressure on your vocal cords instead of your diaphragm. Here," a moment later he had straightened himself from the piano, coming to stand in front of Jongdae. And really close. When Jongdae felt a hand over his stomach, he was sure he'd died. Or would soon, seeing as he wasn't breathing.

"Do that last part again," Yixing ordered, and it took Jongdae more than a couple of seconds to remember what he was talking about, and even more to remember how to actually sing. Albeit wobbly, he did pretty well, at least until he felt a light tap in his stomach and his concentration flew out of the window.

"See? There you got it," Yixing said with a smile and, upon reading his confusion, he explained "My hand is not moving. If you were breathing properly, you'd be trying to push the air lower, hence moving your stomach. Try again."

With a nod, Jongdae attempted the note once again. Surprisingly, Yixing's advice actually helped. It wasn't nearly as perfect, and his voice still broke, but at least it didn't hurt so bad, and he didn't have such a hard time keeping his tone even.

"Thanks," Jongdae smiled at Yixing after a moment, noticing exactly how close they were. There was a different look in Yixing's eyes, a new, darker one, which had Jongdae's breathing becoming erratic.

With a little hesitation, Yixing leaned down, capturing his lips in the softest of kisses. Jongdae gasped, body frozen in surprise and mind racing. He couldn't catch up. Did this mean that Yixing liked him? Oh god, Yixing was kissing him. That was enough to shake Jongdae out of his momentary stupor. He pressed himself further into the boy, hands coming to Yixing's chest as the pianist wrapped his around his waist. Jongdae felt that he was combusting, not enough oxygen in his lungs, but he couldn't care less. This was Yixing he was kissing. He'd been pushing against his feelings for him way too long, and now they were all struggling to come out at once. He grabbed Yixing's shirt, pulling him closer, and Yixing smiled against his lips, tightening his hold on Jongdae.

The sound of the door being opened just outside of the studio made them jump apart, hearing Chanyeol's deep voice rumble through the walls. And really, if the guy wasn't so nice Jongdae would seriously hate him.

"We brought food!" he grinned as he entered the room, closely followed by Kyungsoo, who leveled Jongdae with a look before narrowing his eyes at him. Meanwhile, Chanyeol had begun setting an improvised table, grin falling slightly as he turned to a still frozen Yixing. "Are you feeling okay XingXing? You're really red."

Yixing's laughter echoed through the room, startling the managers, their confusion growing when Jongdae began snickering too.

"Yeah, I'm feeling fine. Really great."

.oOo.