Dara

My mom is making pancakes for breakfast on Monday morning. “What are you still doing home?” I ask.

“I’ve got some employees opening the store.” She smiles warmly, that sweet smile that always made me feel better when I had to stay home sick in grade school. “It’ll be nice see you and Sanghyun and get you off to school for a change.”

“Have you or Dad talked to Jiyong?” I ask for about the trillionth time since yesterday. Both of my parents have been acting strange since my dad came home from work yesterday. He locked himself in his office with my mom for hours. The two of them have seemed on edge since then, and I can’t figure out why.

Jiyong told me he was going to Seunghyun’s place, right before he told me he loved me. I wish he was here so he could assure me everything will be okay between us, but I know he needed to get away and figure things out in his own head.

The problem is, I never eased his biggest fear. He needs to know I’m not going to suddenly give up on him or give up on us. I wish I could have talked to him before school today, but that didn’t happen. He hasn’t been back since he dropped me off early Sunday morning.

I watch my mom as she vigorously mixes the pancake batter faster in her bowl. “I’m not sure.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I don’t want to talk about it.”

I walk over and put my hand on her arm, stopping her from mixing. “What’s going on, Mom? You have to tell me.” I swallow, hard. I won’t stand back and have the boy I love live in misery because he loves me back. It’s not worth it. I would give him up if it meant making him happy. “I need to know.”

When she looks at me, her eyes are watery. Something is definitely up. “Your father said he’s taking care of it. I’ve trusted him for the past twenty years. I’m not going to stop now.”

“Does it have to do with Jiyong? Does it have to do with him getting beat up? Is he in danger?”

My mom puts her hand on my cheek. “Dara, honey, go to school. I’m sorry I’m a little tense this morning. It will all be over soon.”

“What’s going to be over, Mom?” I ask in a panic. “Just t-t-tell me.”

She stands back, obviously contemplating the consequences of spilling whatever secret she’s holding. “Your father said he’s handling it. He had a long talk with Yoochun and Changmin yesterday, his buddies from the military who work in the DEA’s office.”

“I feel sick,” I say.

“It will be fine, Dara. Now get ready for school, and don’t say one word about this to anyone.”

“Is breakfast ready?” my brother asks as he walks in the kitchen.

My mom goes back to mixing. “Almost. We’re having whole-wheat pancakes.”

Sanghyun gives her his famous pouty face, the one nobody in our house can resist. I wonder if that look will ever get old. Knowing my brother, he’ll still be using it when he’s fifty. “Can you put chocolate chips in them? Pleeeeease.”

My mom sighs, then kisses his big cheeks. “Okay, but put on your shoes so you’re not late for the bus.”

As she ladles the batter into the hot pan, I walk into my dad’s office. I know it’s terrible of me, and it’s totally inappropriate, but I sit in front of my dad’s computer and browse his history. First on the Internet and then in each of his document folders. If there’s some clue to what’s going on, I need to know. And since nobody will tell me, I have no choice but to snoop around and investigate, myself.

Unfortunately for my dad, but fortunately for me, he didn’t erase his history. I pull up everything he’s worked on in the past twenty-four hours. I look at a letter he wrote to his boss about introducing a new curriculum, an outline of the test he’s working on for his class, and a spreadsheet wi