Dara

“Wake up, baby.”

The sound of Jiyong’s voice and the gentle touch of his fingers on my shoulder makes me stir. My legs are intertwined with his, my head is nestled in the crook of his arm, and memories of what we did a few hours ago are bringing bittersweet feelings to the surface.

I open my eyes. It’s still dark, and we’re both completely under the covers. “Hi,” I say, my voice groggy and tired.

“Hey. We need to go.”
 

“Why? Can’t we just stay here longer?”
 

He clears his throat and rolls away, the movement bringing the cold night air rushing to my skin. “I forgot I’ve got to bring Seunghyun’s car back tonight.”

“Oh,” I say dumbly. “Okay.” It’s obvious he’s freaking out and regretting what we did. I get it. I don’t know what triggered it just now, but I get it.

“Get dressed,” he says, no emotion in his voice.

When he hands me his jacket after we’re both dressed, I don’t take it from him. “I have my raincoat,” I tell him.

“You left it back in the car, Dara. Wear this. It’ll protect you from the rain.”

“I don’t need it,” I say, then walk out into the rain in my dress and bare feet. I need his love. I need his honesty. Handing me his jacket is superficial protection anyway. The jacket is wet, inside and out.

In the car, after he shoves the blankets in the trunk and mumbles something about having to go to the Laundromat to clean them, we drive through the dark, empty streets in silence. The only sound is the rain tapping against the windows. I wish rain wouldn’t remind me of tears so much.

“Are you angry with me?” I ask him as I put my raincoat on so he doesn’t see my arms shaking.

“Nope.”
 

“Then s-s-stop acting like it. Tonight was perfect for me. Please don’t ruin it.”
 

He pulls into my driveway and parks next to my car. The rain is coming down harder now.

“Wait a few minutes until it lets up,” he says as I gather my shoes and purse.
 

“How are you getting back home after you drop off the car?”

“I’ll just crash at my brother’s place,” he says.

I watch the droplets of rain make tracks down the car window, then disappear. I can’t stay here for much longer without getting emotional. “Just so you know, I don’t regret tonight. Not one bit.”

He looks right at me. The outside lights shine on his beautiful, strong face. “Listen, I need to figure things out. Everything is so—”

“Complicated,” I say, finishing his sentence. “Let me m-m-make this easy for you, then. I’m not stupid to think things have changed just b-b-because we had . You made it p-p-perfectly clear from the beginning you weren’t looking for a girlfriend. There, now I uncomplicated everything. You’re free and clear.”

“Dara—”

I can’t stand to hear him tell me what a mistake tonight was, despite my declaration that it didn’t have to mean anything. I get out of the car, but instead of running through the rain, I head straight for my car. I need to be in a place where I can think and cry without anyone hearing me. Right now, my car is my sanctuary. If Jiyong would just drive off, I could cry in peace.

He opens his window and motions for me to open mine. When I do, he tries to say something. His voice barely carries through the sound of the rain coming down hard between us.

I lean out the car window. “What?”

He leans out his window, meeting me halfway. We’re both wet and soaked, but neither of us seems to care. “Don’t run away from me when I need to tell you somethin’ important.”

“What?” I say, hoping he doesn’t notice the tears running down my face, and praying they’re getting mixed up with the rain.

“Tonight was . . . well, it was perfect for me, too. You’ve turned my world upside down. I’ve fallen in love with you, baby, and it scares the in’ outta me. I’ve been shakin’ all night, because I knew it. I’ve tried to deny it, to make you think I wanted you as a fake girlfriend, but that was a lie.”

“I love you, Dara,” he says before his lips move forward and meet mine.

Jiyong

“What are you doin’ here?” Seunghyun asks me when I arrive at his place at five a.m.

“I’m movin’ back in,” I say, pushing past him. At least until SooHyun and I disappear at the end of the month.

“You’re supposed to be at the Parks’.”
 

“I can’t stay there anymore,” I tell him.
 

“Why not?”
 

“I was kind of hopin’ you wouldn’t ask that.”
 

My brother winces as he asks, “Did you do somethin’ illegal?”
 

I shrug. “Maybe in some states. Listen, Seunghyun, I got nowhere else to go. I guess I can always go live on the streets with the other kids whose brothers have kicked ’em out . . .”

“Don’t give me that bull, Jiyong. You know you can’t stay here. Judge’s orders.”

Judge’s orders or not, I can’t take advantage of Park. He’s one of the good guys that I used to think only existed in movies. “I screwed the Professor’s daughter,” I blurt out. “So can I stay here, or not?”

“Please tell me you’re jokin’.”
 

“I can’t. It was Homecoming, Seunghyun. And before you give me a lecture on right and wrong, remember that you screwed Bom for the first time as a bet—on the floor of our cousin’s auto-body shop—on Halloween, no less.”

Seunghyun rubs his temples with his fingers. “You don’t know anythin’ about that night, Jiyong, so don’t act like you do.” He sits on his bed and puts his head in his hands. “I’m sorry for askin’, but I’ve got to know . . . did you use a ?”

“I’m not an idiot.”
 

Seunghyun looks up and a brow.

“Okay,” I say. “I admit I’m an idiot. But I still used a .”

“At least you did one thing right. You can stay tonight,” Seunghyun says as he tosses me a pillow and blanket from the closet.

Seunghyun returned the air mattress, so I have to sleep on the floor. Ten minutes later, when the lights are off and I’m staring up at the shadows on the ceiling, I ask, “When did you first fall for Bom? Did you know it all along, or did somethin’ specific happen?”

He doesn’t answer at first, so I think he’s sleeping. But then a long sigh fills the silence. “It was in Lee’s chemistry class . . . when she told me she hated me. Now stop yappin’ and go to sleep.”

I turn on my side and go over the entire night in my head, starting with the moment I saw Dara with that black dress on. The girl literally took my breath away. “Seunghyun?”

“What?” he asks, annoyed.
 

“I told her I loved her.”

“Did you mean it?”

I wasn’t kiddin’ when I said the girl had turned my life upside down. What kind of girl wears baggy shirts every day, has a gay best friend, stutters when she’s nervous, tapes shower schedules on the bathroom mirror, makes stupid cookie magnets just to piss me off, works on cars like a guy, and gets excited about the challenge of puttin’ on a ? The girl is in’ nuts. “I’m in deep , Seunghyun, ’cause I think I’d like nothin’ better than to wake up with her every morn