I looked at tiffany who seems so absorbed in her and nichkhun’s talk. Sooyoung and kyungho seems in a round of eating contest, and when Ilooked at yoona and saw a glint of shy whenever seunggi whispered something and giggled. Meanwhile  the man next to me was being busy with his tab, sometimes he received a call from his phone, company right-man maybe, I dunno.

“can you talk or atleast sounds something to me please” I said without looked at him, I twirled the wine glass on my hand boredly. I’ve been playing with my food for almost 10 minutes. He was about to said something when suddenly..

“hei!” a warm greeted by a familiar voice. I looked up and saw another dazzling man waved his hand on us. Sooyoung waved back.

“donghaeoppa!!” she shrieked. At her sudden name, tiffany and taeyeon looked at me in instant. I looked cluelessly at their signed-glance. ‘what?’ I mouthed at them. Tiffany sighed and taeyeon shook her head.

“Hi..long time no see, sooyeon” donghae finally said. Sooyeon.Its been a long time. But my heart nearly moved with his voice. No..not even react.
“yeah, longtime no see. Donghae ssi..” I answered flatly, sooyoung bursted into a giggled when she heard me calling him as’donghae-ssi’

“yah.. ‘-ssi’ sounds awkward enough” donghae protested, I just smiled politely at him.

“oppa, what are you doing here?” taeyeon asked. Donghae stood coolly snucked his hand on his pockets.
“why? I can’t visit my own party?” he said.
“what-wait? Your party?” tiffany confirmed.Donghae simply nodded.
“I am the one who held this gathering party..“ he explained.Tiffany and sooyoung ‘oh’ing him as reaction. I checked kris still, he busied with his phone. I sighed, I can’t take it anymore..

“kris Let—“
“ Jessica.. how have you been?” but that ‘fish’ cut me in. fish? I laughed at his nickname..well its been a long time.
“Im? Fine of course..how about you oppa?” I asked. Well at least I can have a proper conversation tonight, I still hoped kris though, but now seems like my ex- was another good choice.

“I’m ? broken of course..” he said so softly, made yoona choked at his answered. I widened my eyes. What was he trying to say? Kris looked up and finally meet eyes with donghae. But it just a simple eye contact before his phone rang again and he stood up to leave the seat.

I bit my lips in annoyed. He didn’t even anxious about donghae oppa. Hey, for your information I and donghae were a lover before. He was my firstlove. He was a sunbae in my school. He was captain in basketball. And we dated for 4 years. And it was a beautiful relationship before  kris come.. Donghae accused me for cheated with kris but the truth was the other around. Donghae was cheated on me with another girl, sandara I remembered.

“why? Did sandara cheated on you oppa?” I said dryly, taeyeon choked on my bold words. Maybe being with kris make me life bolder.

Donghae chuckled.
“no.. it was you” he said, I raised my eyebrow. “.. you make me broken heart. Where is your man going?” he asked.

No one dare to speak in this conversation. All of my bestfriends and their lover were shut up.

“why?” I asked. Not interested.
“he seems didn’t  care about you.. even when your ex are hitting on you” donghae bolder than me. Damn this fish. But its true though, why’d kris seems unconcerned with me.

Was that true he love me?

Normally a man will guarded up whenever his girlfriend’s  ex- was hitting his girl, right? Or it was just my imagination?

“why’d you ask.. guys enjoy the party, I will search for kris..” I said, getting uncomfortable with donghae sudden appearance. I felt bad though for kris.. He was always y priority eventhough it seems like I’m not his priority, seeing this circumstances.

I squeezed between two waitress and finally get out of the room after passed the long quite corridor.

“—its so sudden but we need to go Mr.wu” I heard a man voice called him, I peeked from the wall and saw kris with his concerned face holding a phone. He didn’t say a thing. He just stared blankly I bet he even didn’t know what his secretary kept telling him.

I studied his face. He definitely lost interest in this party. His mind was somewhere else.

Why did this feel so… hurt?
Am I being childish?

“—we didn’t have anyother choice if we want to get the land from them but this only meeting” his secretary explained. I retreated my back from the wall and walked back to the room. I know the answer.

This is me or that land right? He definitely would leave me again.
but what did I expect from him? Its not like this was the firsttime.

He would running to the room and said goodbye to us. And he did that.

Kris walked back to the room and stopped next to me. I was keeping my pokerface when he stood and tapped my back.
“Jessi.. seems like I—“ he said but I raised my hand and stopped him. I gulped down my entire glass of wine which is surprised all my bestfriend and kris himself.

I’m not drinking typical.
but the only thing I could do to rebel was only wine.

“what the use of you if I feel like I’m all alone..” I muttered, but made sure for him to grasped all my words. I poured another full glass of wine and drank one shot. Kris eyes widened and tried to grabbed the glass, but I finished the wine first.

“yah—are you cra—“ tiffany tried to scold me but taeyeon held her back.

“you know kris.. what saddening thing the most is not because you have no one around you but, you have someone who make you feel you are alone, so whats the point of being here. Go” I said.

Honestly just two glass—well – full wine made my head felt lighter. Kris was just stood there confused about my behavior , I thought.

“its nice if you go with him sica yah..” sooyoung said, tried to came up with conclusion. But how I hope they would understand me better than kicked me back to him.
“no thanks, I am party girl.. don’t kicked me until the party end” I stubbornly said and earned sighed from sooyoung.

Even if I went with him, there will nothing could change,  I would definitely ignored again.

Another man jogged toward the table and I can sense that he stopped right behind kris. I didn’t even bother to guess it was Mr.park.

“excuse me..” he said first for interrupting the conversation. “Mr.Wu..” he simply called his name with so many message between his tone.

“I’m sorry but I need something urgent to do. I need to get out from this as soon as possible, could you take care of Jessica, I will send my man to take her back so Please take care of her when I’m not around” H e finally said.

I guess that project was more important than me.

I bit my lips when he whispered “I’m sorry jess, I need to go for a while” he said and jogged out with his secretary after gave us a light bow.

I let out a shaky breath after he gone from the room.

“sica yah.. you okay?” tiffany finally realized the reason of my childish behavior  earlier. I felt my eyes hotter and decided to poured another glass of wine and stood up.

“I’m fine, don’t concern about me, as you heard, he will send me a driver to bring me back.. its okay atleast I’m not going home by cab” I said and left with my wine.

“unnie! Where are you going?” yoona called back but I couldn’t turn my head to them or they will realized my watery eyes. I just waved back without turned my head and leave the room.

..