There are days he feels completely fine. Like the problem he’s been dealing with is gone forever, like he finally can take a deep breath. But just when he’s about to inhale, the air fills itself with an ugly, thick substance and starts choking him. He feels like crying, being completely helpless, not able to get a hang of just a small part of oxygen. And that is the state he’s in right now. His stomach contracting every time his mind makes him go through millions of thoughts and fears he pushed to the background of his daily life for a while. “Ignoring the problem is never the solution” – someone once said. But sadly, that’s the only way he knows how to deal with it. He can’t have a panic attack in public. He doesn’t need terrified looks or pity. It’s way more difficult to explain it…

He gets up from bed to prepare some calming herbs his mom bought him a few weeks ago. Not that they are helping. It’s just making him sleepy but he drinks it. His mom always checks the box to see if “he’s taking care of himself”.

While standing there, looking down at the counter, a tear falls. Another one after that, and another. In the end he breaks out in tears with nobody to comfort him around, the pot screaming for attention in the background of his sobs. He doesn’t hear it

A sounds of a doorbell pulls him drastically back to reality. He decides not to answer, considering how he looks plus the fact that the tears won’t stop falling. He tries to wipe his face with the sleeve of his stretched blouse, but ends up crying even more.

The unwanted guest starts to bang with his fists on the door, earning a surprised expression from Xiumin. In this one second he suddenly stopped caring, his chest was filled with an incredible amount of frustration as he opens the door and stares murderously at the culprit.

He sees Chanyeol’s irritated face, fatigue vivid in the dark circles under his eyes and a pencil behind his ear. Xiumin thinks he might probably look way better than Chanyeol does right now and he’s not in such a good condition himself.

- What?! – he yells nevertheless, sniffing a little bit and wiping the last tear from his cheek. Chanyeol takes a step back, shocked.
- Are you okay? – he asks gently.
- Do I look like I am? – Xiumin barks back.
- No… you don’t.
- Well then, if you’ll excuse me. – he tries to close the door but he meets an obstacle in form of a big foot on his doorway.
- Hey, seriously, what’s wrong?  - a worried look crawls on the giant’s face, awkwardly standing with one leg squished.
- Nothing I’d like to talk to you about. – Xiumin says tiredly. – Go home, ok?
- Not gonna happen until you tell me what’s wrong.
- …and you want to be a psychologist?
- Yes.
- …
- What?
- You’re gonna be a crappy one.
- Thank you. Now please be so kind and invite me in.
- No.
- Ok, I know that vampire tv series are really popular lately but I’m not gonna your blood out if you invite me in, I can assure you of that. – Chanyeol says matter-of-factly and Xiumin snorts. That was the worst joke he heard in decades.
- HA! You laughed! – Xiumin jumped, scared by the intense reaction of his neighbor, who was now showing his million Won smile, visibly happy that he managed to lead the conversation so “skillfully”.
- You got me there champ. Any more aces up your sleeve? – Chanyeol smiles even wider only to suddenly take on a  serious face.
- You like coffee, right? – he asks.
- Yeah.
- Wanna grab some tomorrow? It’s on me. – Xiumin laughs quietly with intention of closing the door. – I’m not asking you to tell me the story of your life, am I? I just want to relax a little bit in that new coffee shop around the corner. – Chanyeol forms his lips in a little “o” seeing how Xiumin stopped in his tracks, interested. – My friend works there too, you know.
- 2 o’clock. Wait for me downstairs. – The smaller male says before closing the door and turning the key in the lock. Chanyeol stands there for a while not sure what to do now, so he just scratches his head and turns back to his flat whispering a small “Ooookeeey” to himself.

***

I know this is short T T but I'm kind of busy lately T T