I N N E R C I R C L E

PART I I I

C R I M S O N

_______________________________________________

10.

“You’re still having those symtomps?” Jinwoo worriedly asked when handing me his handkerchief.


“Eh, I’ll be fine.” I took it from his hand and quickly applied to my nose while tilting my head back. “I must have eaten too much sodium last night. That ramen was bomb though.”


“That was the most scientific explanation I’ve ever heard from you. Nice try but that finding was not empirical.” Jinwoo softly chuckled, but he didn’t look convinced.


“You used to have nosebleeds too didn’t you?” I ran my hand in the cold water, trying to clean the bloodmark on my right sleeve. “Damn why did I wear white today.”


“It was one time only back then when we won W.I.N.” Jinwoo sighed; his hands were still slightly on my back as if he was afraid I would trip. “But you have been having this for how long? We are having our performance today too, you sure you’re okay?”


“Nah, I’m alright. This is the first time in months.” I lied.


“I’m gonna take you to the police to detect your lies, then to a doctor later on.” Jinwoo put his no-nonsense face on and I gave up.


“Wooya, really, stop worrying.” I muttered. The stubborn bloodmark faded, leaving only a slight hint of redness. I decided to roll my sleeves up, noticing that Jinwoo has become strangely silent.
“What’s happening, why ain’t you saying anything? Let it go, I said I’m okay.”


“No…” Jinwoo stuttered a bit. “It was just, you haven’t called me that in a while.”


“Mm.” I didn’t say anything and put the handkerchief into the running water instead, trying to wash it. Jinwoo stopped me:


“Leave it, we don’t have time for that.”


“That’s yours though. You sure about it?”


“Where are you gonna keep it? In your front pocket? It will make you look like you just wet your pants.” Jinwoo’s joke made me burst out laughing.


“Dude, you’re funny. How come you never show that on camera. Drop that innocent act of yours.” Jinwoo just shrugged at my comment.


“Acting dumb is your one job. I’m the visual line.”


“Dude that hurts. I choreographed too.” I jokingly protested.


“What you ain’t gettin’ paid for ain’t your job.” He patted me playfully on my shoulder.


“Ouch! Hyung, one of these days someone is gonna expose your sass and you’re gonna regret it.”


“Then I will be the one with both look and intelligence. Could settle for less.” Jinwoo winked at me.


“Kim Jinwoo the sassy prince charming of WINNER. This sounds so wrong.” I chuckled.


“Bitter dumb rapper whose dance is for free is such a poor juxtaposition.” Jinwoo’s comeback got meaner by the seconds, and we both laughed.


“You know, Seunghoonie.” He gently smiled at me. “I’m glad we got to this point.”


“Me too, Wooya. Me too.” I grabbed his right shoulder tightly but be extra careful not to pull him into a hug. Jinwoo noticed my gesture and sneered. “Come on, we’re beyond this now.”


“Well you never know. I got that effect on people.”


“Go pour that in your lads coz I ain’t one.” He swiped my hands of his shoulder at once and gave me the side eye that perhaps aside from me no one has ever witnessed. I patted his head:


“You’re the one what got away, okay. Now let’s go back before gossips are out that we’re in the bathroom together for a long time.”


“The deed is done, sweetheart. The deed is done.” Jinwoo laughed as he led the way out. I rolled the half-wet handkerchief and put it into my coat as I followed his steps. The stage and the crowd awaited us beyond this door and I walked straight into the illuminating light. The hankerchief in my pocket dripped cold water against my chest.

 

* * *

Two weeks ago, Mino told me, “We gotta stop doing this.”


We were sitting on our bed – Mino finished putting on his shirt as he said those words, and I was laying there in the dark, thinking of things to say. Or not to say, as a matter of fact. A thousand things came across my mind. I wasn’t prepared for this – or rather, I have not thought of this scenario. It might very well happen one day, yet strangely, that future always seemed so far away that I have never bothered to form it into a thought. Why now? What happened? I wanted to ask, but instead, all I said was one simple sentence:


“Thought you’d never said.”


Mino looked upset. He turned around to face me. The look on his face somehow pained me than I imagined. I didn’t know whatelse to say. What is there to say - things like this don’t generally last. But itdid, for quite a while, didn’t it