“Um…” Is the only thing that leaves my mouth as Chanyeol stands in front of me, looking down at me with what almost looks like disappointment. I’m trying to think what to say to him. I should just tell him the truth. Lay asked me out for drinks. It’s not like he won’t find out anyway. But I find myself struggling to actually say the words. Why am I struggling to tell him? God help me if I know. But before I am given the chance to come up with some kind of excuse to leave, one is created for me.

“Lia!” I look around and see Helen gesturing for me to join her.

“Sorry.” I say to Chanyeol, offering him a small nod in apology before running off to Helen.

“How’s the recording going?” She asks me. I was so absorbed in my own little life dramas that I had completely forgotten I was here to do a job.

“Oh. It’s going great,” I lie, “got loads of great shots so far.”

“Good. Get a few more shots and then we need to head back to the office.” I nod at Helen and turn around. I see Chanyeol talking to one of the stage hands and I quickly run off before he tries to talk to me again. I’m still not reading for any of the conversations he will undoubtedly want to have. Instead I head backstage and find most of the others in the lounge area, waiting to be called. I film them for a while as they talk amongst themselves, making sure to get some uncomfortably close up shots of Xiumin, just to annoy him. And before I know it I’m being called back to the office, and I almost feel disappointed having to leave them behind.

I spend all night looking at my phone. I’m constantly checking the signal is right, that it’s not on silent, turning it on and off again, making sure it’s fully charged. It doesn’t take long before Eun Mi notices.

“Are you expecting a call?” She asks me. I look up at her, trying not to look startled.

“What makes you think that?” I say to her, forcing myself to sound casual, but it comes out a little too pinched and Eun Mi noticed this as well. That girl picks up on everything. She’d probably hear a mouse fart from across the room.

“What’s going on? What are you hiding?” I silently curse myself for not having the resolve that I pretend I have.

“Nothing!” That was too forced as well. Eun Mi narrows her eyes.

“Lia, I can smell the lies on you like bad cologne. Spill, now.” For a moment I consider telling her the truth. I’m waiting to hear from Lay, that gorgeous boy from Exo, the band that I told her I wasn’t interested in. I had made such a big deal about my hanging out with them being nothing, and now, here I was, waiting to hear from one of them about going on a possible date. That’s certainly not nothing. She’ll think I’ve been lying to her, that this was my idea all along. Okay, no. She wouldn’t think that. But it would upset her. She would feel like I’ve been dishonest to her, that my intentions weren’t what I told her they were. I still don’t know when that happened. I was supposed to detest them, that’s the impression I have given her. I was annoyed about being into this world that I never wanted a part in. She was the one who liked them. She was the one who should be getting to hang out with them and go on dates with them. Not me. It’s not fair. And that’s why I can’t tell her the truth.

“I’m sorry. I’m waiting for a call from work.” Which is sort of true. “I have been worrying about it all evening and didn’t want to bother you with my work stuff,” still partially true.

“Lia, we’re roommates, best friends. If you can’t complain to me about work stuff, then who can you complain to?”

“My pillow.” I utter. I pull my legs up to my chest and hug them. I feel terrible for lying to my friend, but I’m worried that the truth would hurt her more. And besides, it’s just drinks for Christ’s sake. It’s not like I’m meeting up for some sordid affair. We’re not going to rip each other’s clothes off at the first available opportunity. At least… I don’t think we will. My cheeks begin to pink and the thought, before Eun Mi snaps me out of my daze.

“Look, if you want to talk about it, I’m here, okay? And if you don’t want to… I’m still here. Shall we order a pizza or something? Will cheese and garlic bread help?” I nod. Cheese and garlic bread is always the answer. She smiles at me and then goes off to make the call. As soon as she is gone, my phone buzzes and I almost fall off the couch in shoc