Lights flickered as I entered my apartment. Working for thirteen hours straight sure was very exhausting. I walked towards the kitchen when I found a yellow sticky-note on the island. I took off my blazer and picked it up.

Mr. Kim, I’m sorry I had to leave early. There was something urgent that happened in our house so I needed to come there immediately. Don’t worry though, I made sure to feed the children and bathe them. I also made sure that they’ve completed all their home works. I’ll be back tomorrow morning.

I crumpled the piece of paper and threw it in the bin. I stared at the newly painted door on the left side of the kitchen. It was white before but now it was colour purple with a sign that says ‘Soojung and Yoongie’s room’. I smiled.

I walked towards the door and opened it. Orange light shone upon my two girls, Soojung and Yoona – my twins, sleeping soundly while hugging each other. I was about to kiss them (as usual, every night), when Soojung sprang up and yelled, “Daddy!”

Yoona followed and hollered the same.

“Hush, why are you two still awake?” I asked, pushing the both of them down on the bed. It was already one in the morning and I couldn’t believe they’re still wide awake.  

“Daddy, Yoongie and I couldn’t sleep!” Krystal cried, rubbing her tired eyes. Yoona agreed as she nodded her head, pouting.

I sighed and patted their thighs. “Daddy will pat you to sleep, is that okay?”

The both of them vigorously shook their heads.

I sat on the bed with them and I couldn’t help but to let out another sigh. It’s been six years and I still couldn’t get used to their whines. I still didn’t know what to do to make them follow what I said. It’s frustrating. Defeated, I laid down in between them. “I’m tired, girls. What do you want daddy to do then?”

Soojung gave Yoona a smile and the next thing I knew their limbs were already tangled with mine. “Daddy, can you tell us a story?”

I chuckled as the both of them sent looks to each other. I had no idea what it was, but they’re so cute to watch. I petted their heads and asked, “What story? Cinde – “

“Mommy!”

I froze.

“Where’s mommy, daddy?”

I gulped. I wanted to say something but I felt like I couldn’t move.

“Daddy, tell us about mommy please?”

Would it be the right thing if I tell them about their mother? Six years have passed and she never came back. I didn’t want my children to have false hopes that they would have their mother back, but I also didn’t want to disappoint them and tell them straight that their mother had left us, and she would never come back.

My fists clenched as Soojung and Yoona sat up and stared at me expectantly.

“No,” I said, and I saw their eyes lost their sparks. It disheartened me. “Sleep now, you two.”

Dejected, they looked down and just merely nodded their heads.

I couldn’t bear to look at them so I decided to just leave. I glanced at them for the last time before I turned the lights off and headed to my room.

***

It was the first day of my senior year. If in the teen films the students were grouped together in different cliques, my senior year couldn’t ever be the same. Senior year was the last year in high school and ever since freshman year, the groups never changed. The hot chicks, the jocks, the cheerleaders: they were the most popular groups. However, the not-so-popular groups included the emos, the artists, the chavs, and guess where I was – the nerds, the brainiest ones. Cliché I know.

Ever since kindergarten, it’s my nature to become studious. It wasn’t a problem when I was a kid because in actual fact, I was one of the popular kids before. I was so clever that the teachers and parents wouldn’t stop praising me. It made me feel good so I continued studying hard. However, high school wasn’t the same. It seemed to me that the more air-headed you were, the more popular you would be, and the smarter you were, the more bullies you’ve got.

There were a lot of people who bullied me ever since my first year and nothing had really changed until now. But, really, I didn’t care.

Jessica Jung was my girlfriend. The hottest, prettiest, the most popular student in high school. Yes, you’ve read it right. She’s my girlfriend.

And about what I said about being air-headed, yes I admit, she was one of them. But I never loved her less. Also, Jessica’s quite smart to be honest; she just needed to concentrate a bit.

The both of us started dating ever since first year, and for four years now, I was proud to say we’re still seeing each other. How I managed to get her... I could just say it was difficult. And speaking of her, she finally entered the lecture hall with some of her friends in tow. I couldn’t help but smile at how perfect she was. It was as though she was glowing as she walked towards me, sitting at the spot next to my seat.

I bit my lower lip, afraid that my lips would rip apart soon. “Hi,” I whispered, sliding my hand down to take hers.

She looked at me with blank eyes and pulled her hand away from my grip. “Stop it.” She hissed.

I snickered and didn’t mind what she said. Our relationship was a secret to everyone. Nobody in the school knew about us. She didn’t want anyone else to know about our relationship, and I respected her if that was what she wanted. What‘s important for me was that she’s mine.  For four years we’ve been dating behind everyone’s eyes.

I tried to hold her hand again and she didn’t pull it away this time. I smiled in relief.

However, not a second passed, she pounded her fist on the table and shouted, “You ing ert! Stop touching me!”

My chest tightened as I looked at her. Everybody in the class formed a circle around us but I remained frozen on my seat.

Jessica was fuming, and I didn’t know why. She could’ve just told me quietly not to disturb her and I would definitely comply. I just wanted to hold her hand. It’s not the first time I did that so I couldn’t see what I did wrong.

I wanted to aplogise but even before I could do that, crumpled papers and profanity were thrown at me. Jessica walked away without even looking at me and that was when I felt my tears b in my eyes.

I thought I already lost her.

--

Three weeks have passed and everybody in the school hated me. My bullies became twice the amount and there was not a time in school that I didn’t hear the whole school swearing and gossiping about me.

Kim Taeyeon, that nerd was such a ert!

Did you hear what he did to Jessica Jung?

He’s such an I wanted to beat him into a pulp.

I did not really care about what they thought of me, I only cared about Jessica. She never talked to me once after that... incident.

The bells rang and the school finally ended. I looked at Jessica at the back of the room (the teacher moved her), she was still sleeping. I looked around to make sure nobody was around before I walked towards her and shook her slightly.

“Jessica,” I called but she never even budged. “Sooyeon,”