Yifan Oppa,

Today I saw a movie with my mom and my sister. As I was buying our tickets you suddenly crossed my mind and my trail of thoughts about you being with began. I see myself excitedly walking towards you as you meet my gaze. You patiently wait for me near the ticket both. You give that half shy smile of yours that's totally adorable and you know that when i see you do it makes me giddy. The time I reach you and after I said my greetings, a simple hi with a genuine smile, you take my hand and entangle your fingers with mine. You lead me inside the cinema to starts watching a movie.

I really like watching movies a lot and though I have my favourite and preferred genre I’d still love to watch with you any movie you like. May it be something I may or may not like. You lead me into our seats and as we wait for the movie to start we’d ask how we have been since the last time we saw each other. You tell me all the adventures you and your friends did and so do I. In between my words I say how much I missed you and you’d joke that how could I not, but I know that you missed me as much.

We watch the movie objectively and as usual there are times when I catch you staring at me instead of watching. Those were the times when you are amused of how I get so much into the movie. It feels strange and irritable at times when you stare but I like how you pay attention to me. When I lean back I love it at times when you just naturally pull my head to lean on your shoulders. I’d overreact and give you a peck on the cheeks when I just feel like it.

After the movie I tell you everything regarding my thoughts about the movie and sometimes we argue about how different our perceptions are but either one of us will accept defeat in the end. At times when you feel bad that I accept my defeat you’d buy me anything sweet and I’d give in. You know how I am so addicted to anything sweet and I’ll just hit your arm lightly as you take me to eat. I’ll hold your hand and lean to your side as we walk. I’d be so nice to have this movie dates with you in the future and my ambitious self is really looking forward to it.

My trail of happy thoughts suddenly shattered when I saw something in the internet that I should not find bothering but I did. Well I think it’s really my fault I am in this dilemma.  I was so scared and at the same time it was because of my pride.

As I was writing this letter to you, I got a reply from Sehun oppa. I sent him a message one day because I learned we had the same interest. I was surprised that we’re having this long conversation right now, even though it’s just via chat. Unlike the two of us, Sehun oppa and I never spoke to each other; we recognize each other as familiar faces along the hallway when he was still studying here. I was so amused as how our conversation went. I hope it won’t be the last. It was so rare to meet someone who had the same interest with me and be accommodating as we discuss about it.  When I see him I would really try hard to greet him and not like I usually do to people I chat with. I usually do not talk to them and wait for them to talk to me which I think a trait I really have to work on. I would probably greet him with a warm smile and maybe stat babbling about our latest updates regarding the shows we watch or artists that we like.  

You are good friends with him and I know you like one artist that we are interested in but not as severe as us. We are kind of stalkers when it comes to this stuff and I know you find it very weird.  I was hoping that may be someday I’ll have this kind of conversation with you instead. Even though you wouldn’t be as interested as I am I hope you’d be by my side and support me. It may be also having arguments with you regarding this, maybe at that time I won’t mind because all that matters is our interaction at that moment. How you would care what I think about something.

My evil manipulative self wants me to be really good friends with Sehun oppa to get through to you but I know that’s not right. I also want to be close to you in my own way and not use others it’s just not right. Sehun oppa is a really nice guy and I also want to be good friends with him. I wouldn’t risk a possible good friendship just because I was so desperate to get to you. Well I hope I won’t. I tend to be out of control sometimes that I do not realize I do similar things like those but now I am being more cautious and patient. I think and I hope so.

Well it’s already getting late and I have an early class tomorrow. I just realized I need to sort out what I am going to wear for tomorrow in case I see you and I hope I do. Oh what do I do with how I feel for you, you awesome being!

Shinhye,

September 22, 2014

12:48 am

Author’s Note:

Shinhye’s character is somewhat not your usual character in most stories; many might find her character here very odd. She may be all over the place at times and not the very good girl a leading lady in a story would be. I’d like to think that Shinhye here is just an ordinary girl who could empathize with ordinary girls experiencing unrequited love- liking someone who is far beyond her reach. She’s just like every girl who has the capabilities to think of bad things and choices in life. You might find her very impulsive, sensitive and emotional. She thinks a lot and sometimes she can be self- centered. I’d like to know how you guys think.