Chapter 9

' So, Daddy.' I teased, kissing Sooyoung as I walked him up my front porch steps. We were holding hands, and I was laughing out loud. We were both on top of the worlds, giggly and tipsy and drunk on thought of being parents to a son.

'What do you want for dinner?'

'Dinner?' he asked, raising his eyebrows.

'Yup,' I said. ' I called Mom and Jungsu and told them We were having a boy, and they said they'd love if you stayed for a dinner to celebrate.'

I pulled him over to a porch swing and sat us both down, throwing my legs over his lap. I felt like i was floating on cloud nine. I just wanted to kiss Sooyoung and kiss him and kiss him again until our baby was born. I was dizzy with love and happiness.

Sooyoung kissed me on the lips, soft and slow, and I soaked up every second of this bliss. He kissed my belly, and whispered something to our son that I couldn't hear.

'What did you say to him?' I asked, giggling as I toyed with his hair.

'I told him he had the best, most beautiful mother in the world.'

We kissed again, and then sat in silence, each of us lost in our own love.

'So,' I said, after a few minutes. 'Dinner?'

Sooyoung looked pained.

'Sorry babe, I'd love to. But I can't.'

' What? Why?'

Sooyoung laid a hand on my cheek.

'I have to pack,' he said.

'Pack?' I asked. ' Where are you going?'

'College. . .' he said. 'In L.A.'

Just like that, my heart dropped.

'What?'

'Babe, you know school starts for me in a week.'

I was dizzy with shock.

'You're....you're going?' I asked, my throat numb.

'Of course, I've been signed up since last October, why wouldn't---'

'Choi Sooyoung! What do you mean?Are you saying you're just going to leave me in the delivery room, ALONE,while you're in school?'

'Sica,baby, I have to go to college. It's not optional. You know that.'

'Yes, it most certainly is optional! I had to give up on college when I got pregnant. You did half the work, so you can give it up too!'

'No, Sica, I can't. What do you want me to support this baby with a job at a drive thru and my good intentions? I'm going to need a degree if we're going to raise our son right and be in the picture!'

'A degree that's going to take at least four years to get! What's the good of you being 'in the picture' if it's only for a month or two each year?! I don't want my son getting to know his daddy when he skypes him and I sure don't want the first time he's there for him to be when he goes to kindergarden!'

'But there's summers, and Christmas break, and spring break...'

'And that's what? Two months? Three? Out of a year? Being there a quarter of the time isn't going to cut it Sooyoung!'

' You don't get it, do you?! I can't NOT go!'

We were both yelling now, our happy mood gone.

'Sooyoung! Just go to community college or something!'

Sooyoung leaped off the swing and storm down my front steps.

'Forget it Sica, 'he called. 'I've already paid and I'm going. I have to pack.'

I watched him pull out of my driveway, tears gushing down my face.

*****

I could have sat on that swing crying all night. I probably would have, too, if a pair of headlights hadn't swiveled in my face and pulled to a stop in front of my house. I sat up and tried to compose myself, wiping tears from my face and attempting to fix my make up while a figure got out of the car, slammed the driver's door, and walked calmly up the steps to my house. In the dark, I couldn't tell who it was.

'Jessica?' A voice called as the figure stepped on the top step. Instantly, I recognized the voice.

'Yuri?'

Yuri's figure came into the porch light as he climbed the top step. He came over to me automatically.

'Jess, are you crying?' He asked. 'What's the matter?'

He sat down on the swing beside me.

'Nothing,' I lied, realizing this was the first time Yuri had said a word to me since we broke up, eighteen weeks, or four and a half months, ago. 'Hormones.'

Yuri looked me in the eyes. He could always see straight through me.

'Jess,' he said slowly and sternly. 'What happened?'

I sighed.

'It's Sooyoung. He's going to college in a week apparently, and I just can't do this whole pregnancy and parenting thing without him.'

I studied Yuri's face, trying to get a feel for what he was thinking, but it was no use. Even thouh we dated for six months, I could never tell what Yuri was thinking behind his mask.

' I worried about that when I heard you were back together,' He finally

said.

' He's a good guy, Yuri,really. I'm just scared. he's not ready.'

There was a pause.

'That's why I came here.' Yuri said. 'Because I'm ready.'

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