If Junmyeon thought that forgetting was easy, he was wrong. Very wrong.

            He and Soojung strolled along the sides of a lake late at night, but it contained none of the same night magic. He winced at the artificial strawberry flavor of her lip gloss or the watermelon flavor of her gum when their lips connected, remembering the sweet taste of Baekhyun’s lips, warm and slightly chapped against his own. When Soojung laughed, he was painfully reminded of another, brighter laugh, with crinkling eyes and sparkling whites.

            He tried to enjoy himself at the expensive resort, but he was painfully aware of his tight smiles that hurt his muscles. After meeting countless family members at meals, all of them congratulating Junmyeon on his excellent taste and fortune, the newlywed couple flew to Japan. It was a trip Junmyeon had always wanted to take, but never got a chance to do so. Busy work schedules had always gotten in the way, and now he had the chance to finally see the foreign country. At one point, he’d even had a list of all the places that he wanted to visit, all the things he wanted to see during his time there.

            But when Junmyeon got out of the airport and breathed in the outside air, he realized he felt no excitement at all. There was only a deep, deep regret that he couldn’t understand.  

            Junmyeon tried to enjoy himself there, but his patience was wearing thin. He’d stay in their hotel room and watch TV the whole day while Soojung would explore Japan with a tour guide. He didn’t even bother trying to do any work. Every morning, he’d ignore Soojung’s attempts to wake him up. He felt no desire to explore the country he’d been so interested in only a few years ago.

            Late at night, he’d hug her while they stood on the balcony, watching the sun rise. He’d close his eyes and try to memorize her scent, trying to forget another smile hundreds of miles away. He’d whisper empty words of apology into her ears, his heart clenching as he vowed to become a better husband, to fulfill all the hopes the world had for him. But then, she’d turn to him with wide, innocent, forgiving eyes, and he’d suddenly remember seeing someone else, glowing beautifully under the moonlight. She’d lean forward, trying to kiss him, but he’d turn away, pretending he didn’t see the flash of hurt that crossed her face.

            It was their last night in Japan, and once again, Soojung tried to kiss him. Once again, Junmyeon turned away. This time, Soojung leaned against the edge of the balcony beside him, instead of going back inside as she usually did.

            “Will you ever forget her?” Soojung asked quietly.

            Junmyeon sighed wearily and closed his eyes. “I don’t know…” He traced a finger over the sill of the balcony. “I thought I’d be okay, but…”

            “It’s not my fault, is it?”

            Junmyeon turned, shocked. “Never.” He grasped her hand, fitting her long thin fingers between his. “You’re perfect. Don’t ever think otherwise.” He meant those words. She was perfect, inside and out; she was everything he’d thought he’d want in a partner, but…she wasn’t Baekhyun.

            Soojung smiled, and for the first time, Junmyeon saw the tears that glimmered behind her eyes. “But you’ll still leave in the end, won’t you?”

            Junmyeon brushed away the tears that fell, and hugged her close, feeling tears of his own gather in the corner of his eyes. He doesn’t bother saying anything, because what would have come out of his mouth next would have been a lie.

A/N: Thank you for reading!