Ever since the time you met Jonghyun at the age of five in kindergarten, you know bad timing is a part of him.

There was that one time he accidentally opened your door while you were changing when you were both ten.(“WHY DIDN’T YOU LOCK THE DOOR?” “STOP STANDING THERE LIKE A GROSS PERSON!”)

And that other time he walked in on some kid confessing to you when you were both thirteen. (“Let go of me!” “You will not go out with him!” “Who are you, my dad?” “Just shut up.” “YAH!”)

When you opened the door and he walked right into you, the collision sending stars to both visions at fifteen.(“, that hurt…” “You have bad timing, Jjong.”)

And now he was approximately twenty minutes late for a date.

By this time, it’s completely normal and you’ve grown used to it, but sometimes, you wish he would be on time for a date just at least once.

Just once.

The coffee’s grown cold and the coffee cake’s slightly melted when Jonghyun walks into the cafe and plops in the seat across from you with apologies spilling from his mouth.

When you hold up your hand to stop him, he pauses mid-sentence and you give a small smile to let him know that it’s ok.

Like you said, you’re used to his lateness.

But despite his bad timing, the two of you have an enjoyable date and by the way you’ve seen the barista behind the counter look at the two of you, she’s quite envious.

—-

Jonghyun’s always been the lazy one in school with passable grades that slide on the verge of B’s and you’re the studious one with a perfect 4.00 GPA and perfectly well-rounded. Fifty-five hours of community service each semester plus being concertmaster in the school orchestra plus a nice-paying job as a receptionist at the hospital.(The interviewer did admit he was pretty impressed with your medical knowledge at the age of seventeen.) And you manage to balance Jonghyun on your plate as well.

The student body often wonders how the hell you two even tolerate each other, let alone date.

—-

Jonghyun spends his free time with you when you’re free or playing his guitar and composing songs with his friends.

Taemin’s too adorable to resist, Jinki’s a little too soft but you love him anyways, Minho’s way too competitive but so are you, and Kibum’s too cynical for your taste and you ignore his complaints about your fashion style.

Today’s your night off from work, a month before graduation, and you’re glad it’s both because a huge envelope has been sent to your address.

Specifically, from Princeton University.

From America, a place halfway across the damn globe.

You’ve been offered a full-ride there and this is too damn good to resist because this is somewhat your dream.

Your cellphone rings and you ignore it without looking at who it is because Princeton is officially taking over your mind, but when your phone beeps to tell you that there’s a new voicemail, you’re ready to throw it against the wall. But the words "Dino" flashes across the screen and stops you.

You call your voicemail and put the phone on speaker because you can’t find the strength to hold it to your ear and his voice just tells you that he’s coming over in three.

You can’t let him know. He’ll involuntarily find some way to make you stay. With him. And you want to stay.

You scramble to lock all the papers into your filing cabinet but Jonghyun’s already unlocking your door with a spare and catches you in the act.

"What’s up?" he asks, raising an eyebrow at your panic stricken face.

Oh god, you hate being Pinocchio—

"Just looking through some of my old medical texts," you quietly answer, forcefully plastering a fake smile on your face.

He believes you because you never lie to him and he never expects you to, but this is something you need to thoroughly think through and maybe spending time with him might clear up some things.

Jonghyun picks up his guitar from the corner of your room where he had last left it and starts working on a song he’s been thinking about for the past week.

He’s occupied the chair to your desk, so you settle for sitting on the bed and grab a medical textbook to make it look like you’re doing something, but really, the letter repeats its words in your head.

You look up to watch Jonghyun strumming chords and biting his lip and writing lyrics down in his little black journal full of words.

You can imagine running your hands through his soft brown hair and listening to his comforting voice when he sings; you admire that jawline of his, his perfect nose, his perfect lips; you think about his firm and possessive hugs, but a thought strikes you.

You’re going to miss him so much.

Which means, it’s decided.

"Jonghyun?" you call out shakily.

He looks up from his guitar to look at you.

But most of all, you’re going to miss his larger-than-average brown eyes.

"Can…can you sing for me?" you quietly ask.

His eyes give his confusion away because you’ve never asked him to sing for you before and there’s something in his brain that’s telling him something is wrong.

"…okay."

He stays in his seat and is about to start, but you call out for him again.

To him, the look on your face makes you look…scared.

"Can you sit next to me and sing?" you shyly ask.

He nods and you scoot closer to the wall to give him room on the bed, but when he’s comfortable, you uncharacteristically cuddle into him (you usually don’t) and he slowly pulls you closer to him.

His gentle singing sends you to sleep.

—-

When you wake up, you feel a breath slightly blowing your bangs and from the even rise and fall of his chest, you know he’s fallen asleep, too.

A content smile forms on your face and that much-needed sleep rolls over again like a gentle wave and closes your eyes.

—-

It’s graduation now and you still haven’t told Jonghyun that you’ve made up your mind about leaving for America for god knows how long because you still haven’t made up your mind about attending med school there or here, but the point is that you have less than a month with him.

You have June, fly to the U.S. in July, spend that month getting acquainted with your surroundings and speaking English, then school starts in August.

Time flies by just a little too fast.

All the hand-shaking for graduating at the top of the class and hugs for missing you seem to disappear from your brain when Jonghyun grabs your hand and drags you away from the crowd.

You don’t mind at all because you want to spend as much time with him as possible.

With all the time you’ll be in America, you know he’s going to move on and find another girl that’s as musically talented in the field of singing as he is. (In your opinion, your violin playing is nothing compared to his singing.)

When he’s found a small but cozy non-sunny place, he takes out a ring and places it on your left middle finger.

"W-w-wha—"

"I, Kim Jonghyun, promise to love you and be there for you. Always," he says, looking deep into your eyes.

Doesn’t he know promises are sometimes meant to be broken?

He hands you another ring and you slide it onto his left middle finger and in a quavering voice, say, “I, _______ ___________, promise to love you and be there for you. Always.”

You know you will never be able to move on.

His breathtaking smile breaks out on his face and he brings you into his hold so he can kiss you passionately.

I love you so much, Kim Jonghyun.

And when he pulls back, you put your hand over his heart and say, “I’ll always be here if I’m not around physically, and you’ll be in mine if you’re not around physically.”

There’s that nagging in the back of his head, but he ignores it.

—-

June goes by too fast, but you’ve done all the things with Jonghyun that you promised yourself you would do.

You’ve named his callouses after different dinosaurs, kissed him in public, gone window-shopping, ran through fountains, fed each other in public, doorbell ditched, and all those good things.

It was really hard to pack without letting him notice.

You told the other four about your decision and Taemin’s tears brought you this close to taking it back and cancelling everything, but Jinki said they’d be there to send you off.

Without telling Jonghyun.

Your flight leaves at 10am and you know Jonghyun won’t be close to awake when you leave.

It’s most fortunate that Jonghyun’s a deep sleeper, so there’s no problem in sneaking into his room to leave your letter and your latest picture on his nightstand.

You admire his features again, his peaceful sleeping face, and bend down to lightly press your lips on his.

It’s hard to walk away from this.

—-

You give the four of them good-bye hugs and Kibum is even tearing up a bit while Taemin is bawling his eyes out and he won’t let go of you.

"Look after Jjong for me, please?" You ask them while holding onto Taemin.

Jinki smiles that leader smile and assures you that they’ll keep him in check.

Minho pulls Taemin away from you but stays close enough so he can kiss you on the forehead in a brotherly manner. “Take care, _______-ah.”

"I will."

The airport is quiet when you arrive at your gate. It’s not busy at the security line and no one is bustling around in a hurry.

"Welcome to Delta Airlines, Flight A34 from Seoul, South Korea, to Trenton, New Jersey, USA. We’ll be boarding in approximately ten minutes. Thank you for flying with us today."

Twenty minutes later, you’re handing the ticket to the assistant who scans it and hands it back to you.

"Have a safe flight."

"Thank you."

You find your window seat and put your luggage in the overhead bin before sitting down and staring out the window.

There’s a small checklist running through your mind.

-Make phone international: check.

-Got a roommate: check.

-Ticket for bus to Princeton: check.

-Stuff for Jonghyun: check.

Jonghyun…

I may have never said it out loud, but I love you very much. I understand if you move on and see you in the arms of another girl when I come to visit. It just lets me know that you’ve let go and maybe I should, too.

And the whole time you think this, your thumb crosses under your index finger to fiddle with the promise ring.

It takes seconds to say hello,

months to say see you later,

and forever to say goodbye.

So,

see you later, Jonghyun.

—-

Jonghyun’s always had bad timing and today, he realizes that.

____________________________________

The plane lands and your ears are suffering from the change in air pressure, so the flight attendant’s electronic voice doesn’t make any sense to you whatsoever.

Sleep is still in your eyes when you repeatedly apologize to the man sitting next to you for accidentally falling asleep on his shoulder for ten minutes, but he waves it off with a smile and lets you know that he’s not going to stab you in the back.

Even though everybody else has their phone out, you don’t take yours out because honestly, you’re kind of scared.

Everything’s muddled up. You can barely remember grabbing your overhead luggage or waiting for nearly an hour at the baggage claim, but when your hand reaches for that phone, all your senses seem to sharpen.

Thirty seconds later, it’s and you press “2” and the call button to call Jonghyun.(Is it a bad sign that your phone isn’t beeping with alerts of incoming voicemails?)

You realize it’s only 7am over there, but you’ve never gone so long without Jonghyun’s voice and sue you for sounding a little desperate.

"…hello…" you don’t really care if he sounds half dead right now.

Damn these tears.

"J-Jonghyun?"

Ten second silence.

”_________-ah?” he asks in a more emotional voice.

"Yeah, it’s me. I’m sorry for calling you so early. I just—"

”I hate you,” he interrupts and hangs up.

Maybe this is what you deserve, and that’s what you wrote in the letter. “You’ll hate me for this, and I’m sorry, but I love you.”

When you call back, his phone is off and you walk out the airport with your head hung in defeat.

—-

He regrets telling you that he hates you, but in a way, he does because you didn’t tell him. But he thinks he hates himself more for not respecting your decision.

—-

Out of the sixty-two emails you’ve sent to him, only one of them has been replied to, and it says, “I’m fine.”

Just, “I’m fine.”

You still manage to webcam with the other four, despite the time difference, and they let you know that yes, he’s fine and that you should give him a little space.

A little space means a very long time because Jonghyun is very skilled when it comes to holding grudges.

You hope he’ll forgive you in the meantime.

—-

A semester has gone by, finals are finally over, it’s two weeks before Christmas, and the snow is past your ankle now.

The harsh, freezing weather gives you a sense of nostalgia when you’re outside and you remember all those times Jonghyun would put your hand in his jacket pocket to keep it warm.

But the one flashback that hits you the best is your first kiss with him.

"Hey, get up!" Groan. "How the hell did you wake up earlier than me, Jjong?" "It’s the first snow! Come on!"

You’ll never understand his obsession for first snow.

Twenty minutes later, you’re fresh and in winter attire and Jonghyun drags you out of the house and into the white world. He sticks his tongue out to catch snowflakes and you do, too, and maybe you’re having a little too much fun throwing surprise snowballs at his back.

But then he’s staring at you with an unreadable expression and it scares you a little bit because you can always read them.

”________-ah, you know what they say about couples having a kiss on the first snow?”

"Yeah, what about it?" you ask, raising an eyebrow.

But then he takes your face in your hands and presses his lips against yours.

So maybe you’ve had a fantasy or two or more about how soft his lips might be since the two of you started dating and you’re happy to know that yes, his lips are really soft and perfectly fit with yours. 

You already bought your ticket to Seoul and are seriously procrastinating in packing, but you’re a fast packer and besides, all the souvenirs are bought and done.

But you’re a little disheartened.

There’s a man with the name of Jinyoung who practically lives in the hospital because of his leukemia condition, but whenever you visit him, he’s always smiling and happy.

You first met him when he tripped in the hallways and you helped him back to his room. The thing was, his room was on the fourth floor and he was on the second floor for some unknown reason.

He later claimed that he wanted to see you. Such a sweet child.

Jinyoung was also Korean and gave you that sense of home because really, he was a mixture of everyone.

His bright smiles reminded you of Taemin, his singing voice reminded you of Jinki, his occasional comments about your doctor’s coat being stained made you think about Kibum, his slight competitiveness during card games made you giggle as you thought about Minho.

But, his words made you remember Jonghyun.

The things he would say at certain times were always the exact same things Jonghyun would say if in a similar situation.

"I’ll protect you. I love you. I’ll always be with you. You’ll always be in my heart."

Then, those three words on the phone overpower you.

"I hate you."

They’re a never-ending mantra in your head.

When you stop walking, you look to the right and see the hospital you work at.

You’ll buy some flowers for Jinyoung when you get in.

—-

The flight from Newark to Seoul is about seventeen hours, much too long for your taste, but if you have to, you’ll take the sleeping pills in your purse.

—- 

Your legs are sore as hell from sitting on the plane, (You hate getting up on the plane unless it’s for the bathroom.) but it feels to good to stand when you wait for your suitcases at the baggage claim.

Luckily, you only need one, so the price didn’t exactly clean your wallet out, but they’re mainly the souvenirs, some clothes, your laptop, your textbooks and homework, and sufficient padding so things don’t jump around and break.

Jinki’s car is in view and his back is facing you, so you childishly giggle and quietly run up to cover his eyes with his hands.

All of a sudden, the other two (no Taemin) hop out of the car, yelling and slamming doors, and soon you’re in the middle of a big, strong, manly group hug.

You miss this so much.

—-

On the forty-five minute (give or take) ride back home, the four of you share stories and laughter and all your worries just seem to dissipate into the polluted air of the city.

Jinki parks the car on your driveway and turns it off, but he makes no move to get out.

"Jinki?"

"Jonghyun doesn’t know you’re visiting," he slowly starts.

"I know, didn’t I ask you guys not to tell him?" you worriedly ask.

Minho takes your hand and squeezes it.

That means something’s wrong.

"We wouldn’t have told him anyways, even if you hadn’t said anything."

That means—

"He’s trying to move on, _________-ah. Do you remember that girl that had a crush on Jonghyun back then? Shin Sekyung?"

You squeeze Minho’s large hand.

Of course you do.

"He decided to give her a chance, to see how it works. So he’s on a date right now."

You foresaw it, you just didn’t want to believe it.

"That’s okay," you whisper.

Are you okay?

—-

You spent three days holed up in your room, wondering if you should give Jonghyun his souvenir and present or not and how you should avoid him if you decide to.

In the end of June, when you and Jonghyun were walking on the streets, the two of you passed by a guitar store and a guitar caught his eye. You willingly went in with him to check the price, and to his dismay, it was really expensive.

Since then, Jonghyun did gigs here and there with the other four and they named themselves, “SHINee”.

You thought and still think it’s quite cute.

If you calculated correctly, (with the help of Minho), Jonghyun’s still missing eighty-six dollars for the guitar.

Besides that, you didn’t know what else to give him.

—-

Jonghyun lives right next door and when you ring the doorbell, luckily, his mom answers and lets you know that he’s not home.

She insists on making you a cup of hot chocolate with four marshmallows, just as you’ve always liked it, but you tell her that Jonghyun probably doesn’t want to see you and you have something to do and you need to do it fast.

His room still looks the same, slightly messy and boyish, and it’s hard for you to find a space that’s noticeable.

Actually, you can just put it under the Christmas tree outside in their family room. That’ll be easier. You have presents for his parents, too.

Your eyes linger on his guitar and soon, it’s as if invisible strings are pulling you to it. You pick it up, carefully sit on his bed with your back against the wall, and position the guitar the way Jonghyun taught you.

And when you strum an A minor chord, everything comes crashing in.

You realize how busy you actually are, how pressured you feel rushing around the hospital, the actual horrifyingly short amount of time Jinyoung has to live, the guilt in your heart, the fact that Jonghyun’s moved on.

Nothing can stop your tears.

When you fold your arms on top of his guitar and bury your head in them, that familiar scent of his cologne wafts into your nose and it sends you into body-wracking sobs.

You should have known.

—-

You don’t realize that you’ve fallen asleep until you wake up with a terrible kink in your neck and throbbing pain in your back.

Just as you lift your head up, the door flies open.

Jonghyun.

In your muddled state, you hurriedly put the guitar away and turn back to bow to him (Don’t look, you don’t want to see the burning hatred and utter disgust in his eyes, your favorite part of him—) while apologizing.

"I’m sorry, I know you hate me, um, I’m sorry for touching your guitar, too, and, um, I guess I should go now."

You’re about to hustle it out of there with the presents and under his arm that’s still outstretched to hold the door open, but his voice commands you to stop and compels you to look up at him.

Surprisingly, he doesn’t look disgusted or severely annoyed with you; he looks…confused?

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks.      

At this point, you know your face has molded into a confused expression because you clearly remember explaining all this in the letter—

The letter.

You explained everything in that letter, and you mean everything.

Why you left, how it happened, how sorry you are, when you’re visiting, your schedule, when to call and to not call you, pleads for him to wait—

Then if he’s asking this question, that means he didn’t read the entire letter.

To him, your face has gone stone blank and he’s still waiting for your response.

Why are you taking so damn long?

You don’t know if you should feel disappointed or angry or expectant of this because it’s Jonghyun and you probably did imagine him stuffing the letter into a drawer after reading the first two sentences because it’s such a Jonghyun thing to do.

You don’t answer when you walk out, but he grabs your arm to stop you.

“You didn’t answer me.”

When you turn back to him, you nearly break down.

“Maybe you should finish reading the letter. That solves a lot of questions.”

You can tell the realization has hit him like a ton of bricks just by the look in his eyes and his grasp loosens around your arm.

When you go downstairs, you put the presents under the Christmas tree and tell Mrs. Kim,“I’ll take up that offer on the hot chocolate. Can you put it in a Thermos? I’ll be leaving.”

—-

Three minutes later, Mrs. Kim is sending you out with the thermos of your favorite winter beverage and you tell her to go in before she gets frostbite because of you.

It’s time to visit Taemin. Luckily, he only lives a right turn and a block away.

—-

He’s about to yell out in frustration because he can’t find your letter and he has to find it before you step out and damn it, he should’ve known—

There it is, buried under stacks of “miscellaneous” marked sheet music and when he picks it up, he remembers stuffing it down there because he was completely livid.

As he plops down on the bed, his eyes skip your first paragraph because he already read that part and trail down to the rest of the letter.

By the time he’s done, tears are in his eyes because he feels so ing stupid at this point, but just before he stuffs on a coat and tries to find you, there’s a little note at the bottom that reads, “Check your voice memos.”

His fingers shake as he whips his phone out and tap the “Voice Memos” app, impatiently waiting for the recorded list to load. He usually doesn’t use the app and starts to wish he had when he listens to your voice come out the speaker.

There’s static and shuffling around before her voice sifts through.

“Hey Jjong, by the time you hear this, I’ll be gone and on my way to Princeton. If you’re listening to this, then that also means you read my entire letter. I can’t really sing, but I composed this song with the knowledge you’ve told me about composing.” A small chuckle.“Well, here it goes.”

At first, your voice is slightly shaky through the first verse, but it becomes strong when the chorus rolls around.

He then realizes that it’s the song he caught you singing a month or two before you left. A week before you disappeared, he accidentally left his phone at your place. You must have recorded it then.

Your voice is beautiful, he thinks. He’s always thought so, despite your disagreements.

Your voice dies and whispers, “I love you, Kim Jonghyun. Don’t ever forget that,” before the recording ends with a click.

He has to find you. Now..

—-

“Noona? Is that really you?”

“Yes, Taemin, now please let me in before I die of hypothermia!” you whine, shifting on his doorstep.

He opens the door wide and you run in to bask in the warmth while he closes the door and turns to look at you.

For a few seconds, you realize he’s grown taller in the past few months and his hair is even died blonde?!—

“Noona!” he wails, wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug that nearly knocks you off your feet, but that all goes away because you missed him so much. “I missed you so much, noona!!”

You wrap your arms around in return and pat his head, silently tearing up a little. “I missed you more, Taemin-ah.”

Taemin pulls away and drags you to his room so the two of you can have some serious bonding time because bonding time is magical.

—-

“Aish,” he grits out, pulling his hair. “Why did she have to leave her phone here?”

Jonghyun runs down the stairs, frantically searching for his mother. When he finds her, he hurriedly asks, “Umma, do you know where she went?”

“She took a right before I closed the door. Shouldn’t you try calling her?” she asks, not looking up from her knitting.

“She left it here.”

“Call the others, maybe she went to go visit them.”

There’s no time, he thinks, no time no time—

He punches 3 on his phone to call up Jinki.

—-

“So why are your eyes all red and puffy looking?” he worriedly asks.

The two of you are currently cuddling on his bed with you laying your head on his shoulder tiredly. You take a few breaths before recounting the story and each word tastes more and more bitter as the seconds roll by.

“You said you wouldn’t overwork yourself!” he whines.

“I’m not overworking myself, Taemin-ah. I’m only doing a lot, just like my high school days. You know how much I did in my high school days,” you protest.

“Yeah, and I’m pretty sure you never told hyung about that time you passed out from exhaustion. Everybody knew but him.”

“He was preparing for a job interview,” you point out. “Who would I be to let him worry over such a petty thing?”

“It wasn’t ‘petty’. You passed out!”

“It’s not like nobody else does,” you grumble.

“Aigoo,” he sighs, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “You know, you can always cry on my shoulder if nobody is there. I promise.”

“Should I call you oppa now?” you joke.

“Yah-“

His phone cuts him off and Taemin starts muttering about who in the world might be calling him.

“Yobeoseyo?”

He looks down at you without you noticing and tightens the grasp around your shoulder.

“Should I know?”

There’s faint yelling coming from the speaker.

“Well, let me ask you this, hyung. Are you done hating her?”

You look up at him. What the hell is this about?

But then his face breaks out into one of his famous, sunny, attractive smiles and he exclaims, “She’s right here, hyung!” and promptly hangs up.

“Taemin?”

“Hyung’s coming to get you now!” he happily exclaims, bouncing off the bed and grabbing your arms to get you off the comfortable Pokemon blankets.

“Hey—“

“Out you go, out you go!” Why is he pushing you towards the door?!

“Taemin—!”

And out the door you go.

You don’t know what the hell is going on and start to wish that you hadn’t accidentally left your phone at Jonghyun’s because right now, survival guide 101 is running through your frozen brain, but the tapping on your shoulder stops all your thinking.

Larger-than-average brown eyes, short height, brown somewhat-spiky hair—

“We need to talk,” he says.

Oh.

You numbly nod and don’t answer; you’re just mentally preparing yourself for whatever disappointment might come because his tone sounds like things are about to get down to business.

“The old coffee shop?” he tentatively asks.

“…yeah. Let’s go.”

You walk ahead of him.

—-

The same barista that looked at you two with envy is at the front today, and her face brightens up seeing you.

But then she looks at Jonghyun and her face just completely sours.

“The usual?” she asks, meaning your regular peppermint mocha and coffee cake, but you’re surprised that she still remembers your “usual”. You left your peppermint hot chocolate at Taemin’s and by this time, he’s probably already found it and drank it all.

“Just the mocha today,” you smile and look at Jonghyun, silently questioning if he wants to order anything.

He looks at the barista and gives a small smile while shaking his head. “I don’t want anything, thank you.”

The two of you make your way to the old table in the back corner where you usually had your dates, and with each passing step, a memory comes.

‘This is what you get,’ a voice says in the back of your head.

At the little table, for you, it’s hard not to drink in his appearance after not seeing him for about five months.

Tick.Tock.Tick.Tock.

“__________,” he calls out, startling you from your dazed state. “Do you remember how we got together?”

A small, faint smile crosses your lips and you softly reply, “How could I? You were quite the creative one.”

This is you when you’re fourteen, crossing your fingers and silently promising yourself that you are never going to tell Jjong that you have feelings for him. He’ll probably get weirded out.

Your computer sounds to signal a new email. It’s from Jjong, meaning he doesn’t want to say something over the phone where your parents might overhear if they picked up on the other landline phones. Appa said you wouldn’t have your own cellphone until you’re sixteen.

You nearly punch the monitor screen because it’s July and it’s a baking oven out there, but apparently Jonghyun doesn’t fully understand that as he’s telling you to go outside and look for a lily in your garden.

Wait. You don’t grow lilies in your garden.

Oh gosh, he’s sending you on one of his little treasure hunts. Again.

It always ends in you getting a small prize, like a cookie, or chocolate, or more paper to satisfy your writing needs.

Not to mention that one time he made you a feather quill and gave you a bottle of black ink to let you feel like Hermione Granger, your absolute favorite character of your childhood.

You run out the back door in your white, pristine summer dress and the wind whips it around you as your eyes fight the blinding sunlight to find that darned lily.

But you don’t have to look too hard because maybe Jonghyun is a little considerate to put it between the external twigs of a bush or he was just too lazy; you can’t blame him though. It feels like there’s a conflagration surrounding you wherever you go.

As expected, there’s little piece of paper stuffed in it, but the clue is a little stranger compared to before.

“Put the lily in your hair and find the peephole in the fence between our backyards where we used to talk if we were ever grounded and alone.”

Put the lily in your hair? You’re not the flower girl…

It’s easy to shrug to yourself as you run towards the fence and easily finding the thumb-wide hole in the fence. A small scroll of paper blocks you from seeing the other side.

“I hope your fence-climbing skills aren’t rusty,” it reads.

The last time you climbed over the fence was months ago. Nah, you still have it in you.

You don’t worry about possibly flashing anybody because you’re wearing a pair of basketball shorts underneath and nobody’s in your backyard or peering over the fence like a stalker.

Your hands are slightly blistered from doing the monkey bars for half an hour straight last week (You’re still short enough to do them.). You push yourself up and raise your leg to place your foot on top of the fence. After balancing yourself with both feet for a few seconds, you push off and land on the ground with a muted thud.

Are those…rose petals?

There’s no written clue this time and you decide to follow the trail. It goes around the backyard, out the gate, into the front yard, and…into the garage?

Jonghyun is dressed casually and standing there waiting for you and his face breaks out into a smile when you pop up.

“So?” you huff, tapping your foot with your hands on your hip.

His face turns serious and he clears his throat before blurting, “You were born on May twenty-third in nineteen ninety. You brush your teeth in the shower because you think it saves water. Your favorite color is black, you wear shorts underneath all your skirts and dresses, you really like monkey bars, you don’t like roses, you’re really cynical and sarcastic and it kinda hurts sometimes, but that’s what I like about you because you don’t beat around the bush. You—“

“Jjong, why are you giving an oral biography about me?” 

Is he…blushing?

“Ireallylikeyouwillyougooutwithme?!” he half-yells, half-screams while closing his eyes and positioned slightly forward with clenched fists.

“What?” you exasperatedly ask because that sounded like gibberish to you.

“I really like you will you go out with me?” he repeats, slower this time, but not pausing where punctuation is usually needed.

Is this really happening?

“Yep, I’ll go out with you. I’m going home now. It’s so hot and it’s not fair that you’ve had a fan blowing at you this whole time.”

When you turn around and sprint to the front door, you hear him yell, “YEAH!”

"Those were good times," you muse before sipping on your peppermint mocha and looking out the window, slightly enviously gazing at the merry couples walking together.

"Yeah, they were."

A comfortable silence looms over the two of you, well, it seems content to you because you’re just giddy that you’re with Jonghyun right now—

"Oh my ing goodness!" the barista yells, slamming her fist on the counter top. Luckily, the two of you are the only ones in here.

Both of you turn to look at her with an eyebrow raised and she starts flailing her arms and making wild gestures at the two of you.

"Look!" she yells, using both hands to point to your faces. "The two of you even make the same ing faces at the same ing time in the same ing situation! Hurry up and make up so you—" she points to you with a shaking index finger, "can be finally happy and you—" pointing to Jonghyun this time with the same finger, "can stop moping and trying to move on with a girl that’s not close to  half as intelligent as she is!” pointing back to you at “she”. “Even her voice is annoying!!” she vehemently adds, throwing her hands up in the air in total annoyance.

The two of you are still looking at her with the same ridiculous expression and she uses her last resort.

"Just kiss and make up, please!” she groans and yells and pleads, clasping her hands together and bouncing with her bottom lip sticking out in a pitiful pout.

You’re about to kindly tell her off for unnecessarily getting into other people’s business but then Jonghyun decides to kindly intervene by shifting into your line of view and kissing you.

Kissing you.

He’s only there for about three seconds, but the barista is already screaming in pure elation(because she can now believe that there’s hope for her if you two are together and that there are perfect relationships somewhere) and promising you that you’ll get free coffee cake next time you come.

You’ll certainly remember that.

Jonghyun smiles, grabs your hand, and drags you out of the coffee shop while saying, “You know, I was actually trying to make up with you the whole time we were there.”

"Hun, you really need to learn how to stop beating around the bush so much and get straight to the point."

"I don’t want to be as painfully blunt as you!" he protests.

And when you turn to give him your famous stare, your resolve breaks and you can’t fight the muscles that make you smile because you’re relieved that things are somewhat falling back into place. Jonghyun’s happy to see you smile and takes this as an initiative to shove your hand into his coat pocket.