"I don't want to," Tao shook his head, sitting down on the other side of the wall to Yifan's room, his knees curled up to his chest and his head resting against the wall. He looked up at Joonmyeon with broken eyes. "I don't think I can," his last words came out as a whisper, and Joonmyeon decided not to press him further. He knew how much of a role model to look up to Yifan had been to Tao, and he knew that if he streched it longer, the younger would break down again. Last time, he hadn't stopped for days. Last time, none of them had.

Joonmyeon nodded understandingly. "I see. Join us if you feel like, then," he smiled, adding the last part to reassure Tao that he didn't do anything wrong. Then he turned around ninety degrees, and walked into the room where the other members where busy claening and taking stuff out of drawers and cupboards. Baekhyun, who was folding Yifan's clothes, noticed him and looked up from what he was doing.

"Is Tao coming?" he asked in a low voice, so the topic of their conversation wouldn't hear it.

Joonmyeon have his head a slight shake. "Just give him sometime," he said, before shifting his gaze to the stack of clothes, and then back to Baekhyun again. "Have you heard anything from the manager-hyungs, by the way?"

Baekhyun looked down, biting his lower lip unconsciously as he shook his head. "Nope. Not since the..." he didn't complete the sentence, and the unspoken word remained hanging in the air as his eyes became misty once again and he turned around so no one would see them. Why anyone still cared to hide their tears was a mystery to Joonmyeon, but he didn't question it and walked further into the room. Sehun and Jongin were going through the desk placed by the windowsill, cleaning it as well as looking at all the stuff and occationally stopping to wipe their eyes with a tissue. The heavy, stuffy and depressive feeling hung thick like a cloud in the room, and no one really said anything. Luhan and Minseok were looking through some of Yifan's albums from their trainee period, smiling as the tears rolled down their cheeks without being able to stop them. At some point Luhan intertwined his fingers in Minseok's, and Minseok turned his face to Luhan's chest and hugged him, not trying to keep it in anymore. His shoulders shook as the younger hugged him back, leaning his head on Minseok's shoulder, tears soaking the cream-white fabric of his t-shirt. Not being able to watch the scene Joonmyeon quickly turned away, looking for Yixing and Jongdae. They were supposed to be here as well...

He walked out in the kitchen, where Kyungsoo was making himself a cup of coffee, leaning onto the kitchen counter. As he approached him he tilted his head slightly, half-smiling without the smile really reaching his eyes. 

"Hi," he said, talking a glass out of one of the cupboards and pouring some water into it, before placing himself beside Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo nodded back, the usual happiness in his eyes long gone. He held the cup with shivering hands, and his usually small figure seemed even smaller now.

"Do you know where Jongdae and Yixing are?" Joonmyeon asked as he emptied his glass.

Kyungsoo, whose gaze had been staring into the middle of nowhere in the air, focused and his head turned to Joonmyeon.

"They were on the verge of a breakdown. I couldn't bear see them like that, so I sent them to the convenience-store to buy some drinks. Give them a break, and stuff," he muttered. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt and black jeans, and when he wasn't holding his cup he kept tugging his shirt nervously. When Joonmyeon didn't answer his eyes became unfocused again and wandered off to another spot in the air Joonmyeon failed to see, and it went quiet for a while.

But after a small period of time, Kyungsoo opened his mouth again. "But what if..." he muttered. "Joonmyeon, will things ever go back to normal?" he asked, his voice thick with emotion, to the point of almost cracking. His shivering hands made the coffee move unsteadily inside the cup, as the tried to control himself.

Joonmyeon shook his head as he put his glass down. "No," he said straight forward. "But we can try," then he walked out again, and into the room he originally had come from. 

When he walked in, he noticed Chanyeol sitting in a corner by himself, with a bunch of boxes around him. He had been assigned to the mission of sorting out the papers and other stuff in the boxes that belonged to Yifan, and even though the others had offered him their help, he had declined. A big stack of paper on Chanyeol's left side revealed that he had read through a lot of them already, and he still sat there, his attention fully on a light yeollow-white paper. It looked like plain and old to Joonmyeon, but something about Chanyeol's face told him that his assumption was far from the truth.

He stood there observing Chanyeol for a while, until the latter looked up and noticed him. For a second they just looked at each other, before Chanyeol spoke. Joonmyeon had thought his voice would be as steady though sad as his face, but his voice broke halfway though, ending the sentence in small sobs as he tried to catch his breath. "Hyung, you should - you should see this," he muttered, lowering his head and strecthing his hand forward. Joonmeyon nodded slowly and took the paper carefully out of Chanyeol's slightly shaking hands, reading it.

Wu Yifan, 130712 

Wishes

He read through the list. Every wish was marked with a number and a name of one of the members, and he counted twelve wishes in total. After reading, he looked at Chanyeol again. He had composed himself in front of the other to reassure them, but not he couldn't keep it in either and tears streamed down his face as he in the end gave up, trying to strangle his sobs.

"Hyung," Chanyeol said seriously. "I want to make all of these things real. I want to fulfill all of Yifan's wishes."

Joonmyeon nodded, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "Me too, Chanyeol-ah,"

He turned around and cleared his throat, getting the attention of everyone. "Listen up," he said, not caring if anyone saw his red, puffed eyes or heard his sobs who still came evenly. "Chanyeol found something for us to remember him by. He found Yifan's twelve wishes to us. Everyone, let's realize all of these wishes, one by one. Let Yifan live through us."