Story: Sticks and Stones, Chapter 7 - Painful Memories
Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia...

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"I guess I'll have to start from the beginning." America had said. He'd sat up, averting his gaze away from Japan.

"Where should I begin...?" he questioned to himself, more than even to Japan. "What do you want to know...?"

"Well, if I'm correct, aren't you and England-san brothers?" Japan questioned. The way England and America were always going at it, you wouldn't even think of them being like brothers. Then again, there is such thing as 'sibling rivalry', he supposed, and that's when he got to thinking.

He was aware that America was once a colony under the control of England. However on July fourth of 1776, he gained his independence as a country, and now celebrated that day annually, as it was known as 'Independence Day' in America. But still, he couldn't help but wonder if England and America had treated each other differently back then, compared to what they did now. He couldn't help but wonder if maybe it was the separation that drove their bond apart.

"Well, you say that, I suppose." America slightly shrugged. "We used to be brothers. We used to be so close...but I'm pretty certain he hates my guts now. Anyway, France and him found me in the 17th century; 1607 to be exact... When I saw them, as strange as it may sound, I soon felt an very close attraction towards England, even more than France. And from that point on, they raised me as a little brother. For years, I was happy, and he seemed happy. Everything was good. Until that happened... I just suddenly got to thinking about things beyond what I was used to. I wanted to explore more, and see more things. I wanted to be able to stand on my own feet as nation, I guess..."

He took a long moment to think about it, and consider his words.

"America-san," America struggled to meet Japan's eyes. "Can I ask you something?"

"...Sure. What is it?" he questioned hesitantly.

"You said that England-san probably hates you, but do you feel that way about him?" the Japanese man wanted to know. America stared at him, before once again turning away, as he thought about it. It was true that he did hate how England was always insulting him, but...in someways, he still looked up to him.

"No, I've never actually hated him." the young nation said honestly. "The main reason that I wanted to be able to explore was because, more than anything, I looked up to England for teaching me what I know. I wanted to thank him for taking care of me. I wanted return the debt in protecting him, like he had me... But I never told him that. After I told him I wanted my independence, he wasn't happy about it... And that's where the Revolutionary war ensued... In 1776, I finally gained my independence, but ever since then, he's only ever insulted and slandered me. He's always putting me down and telling me I need to stop eating so much. Nobody knows this, but the only reason I eat so much is because it's my only way to deal with all the pain... It hurts when Russia's constantly belittling me, and China keeps on going about my debt, and Cuba hates my guts, and so many others throwing insults at me like 'useless', 'capitalist pig', 'annoying', and 'clumsy', and what they say may be true, but this is family. Even Canada has made comments about me needing loose weight... I just don't know anymore... I was thinking that maybe it would be best if...well...I just stopped eating. It would take away at least one of their problems with me. I mean, it's not like I could die, and even if I could, at this point, I don't think it would stop me..."

Fresh tears once again welled up America's eyes, as he finished. Japan felt tears in his own eyes, as he gave a soft but sad smile, gently picking up America's hands. "No, please don't say those things about yourself. You're worth more than you think, America-san. You're very important to me. I don't want to see you suffering like this, for the sake of others. You don't deserve this..."

America glanced over at him with doubt in his eyes. "If that's true, why have you been avoiding me...?"

Japan looked down. "For a while now, I've actually been trying to avoid everyone; not just you. However, I really didn't know you were hurting this much... Dakara...Gomennasai...Gomenasai..."

America somehow felt a ping of guilt in his chest, when he saw tears streaming down Japan's cheeks, as he turned away. Truth was, he hadn't really been that angry at him. After all, the Japanese were naturally really self-reserved, and typically more off to themselves, so he knew that Japan wasn't doing it just for the soul purpose of avoiding him. He, himself, was also a fairly forceful person, he realized.

And with that thought in mind, he pulled Japan into a soft embrace, crying over his shoulder. "Don't worry, I could never be angry with you..."

Japan stiffened, once again at the contact, before allowing himself return it the embrace. He smiled a little in relief that America wasn't angry him after all.

"...Domo Arigato."

"You too, dude." America moved back, smiling for real this time. "Thanks so much for listening. This really meant a lot to me."

"Don't worry. It's really no problem." Japan nodded, then meeting his eyes. "Can you promise me something, America-san?"

"What is it...?" America hesitantly replied, taking a guess at what he was about to ask.

"Promise me you'll eat something soon." Japan told him. America's eyes slightly widened, before he grew silent, looking away. When he didn't reply for a long time, Japan spoke up again. "America-san?"

"Huh?" America glanced back up, a slight dazed expression on his face. Japan momentarily gazed down.

"Earlier, I asked you to allow me to shoulder your burden with you. If you're in pain, I'll suffer that pain with you." he said. It took a second before America realized what he'd meant.

"You mean you'd starve yourself along with me?!" He exclaimed. "Dude, you're crazy!"

"Well yes, maybe..." the Japanese replied casually, as he thought about it, eying America. "But, you're the hero aren't you? Are you going to stop me?"

"I..." America looked away doubtfully, as he contemplated his pale palm. "I'm just afraid that if I made a promise, something's liable to come up and I'd end up breaking it... I don't want to be known as a person who doesn't keep his word on top of everything else, you know..."

Kiku then reached out, placing a hand over the American's, a pleading look in his eyes.

"You have to try." he told him. "I know that it'll take a while, but I want to help you get back to normal... So, please, try to eat something by tomorrow, at least."

An emotion-filled silence settled between the two as they mused. America didn't reply immediately, but Japan didn't seem to mind it though, for at the time, all he wanted was for America to come to this decision on his own. He was the only who could, after all. He knew that if it was forced on him, he wouldn't learn anything. After Japan had left, the stubborn American would probably just go back to not eating. No, this was most definitely something that he would have to decide on his own. However, he did know how America was. He knew that he would end up choosing what was right. If it wasn't for himself, he would, without a doubt, do it for those who cared. That's just how he was.

About five to ten minutes had passed, and not once had Japan's hand left America's. Finally, America spoke.

"Alright..." he said, looking up, meeting the older nation's eyes. "I'll try, but I can't promise anything."

Japan wasn't fully satisfied with his response but he nodded anyway. "Agreed."

An eerie silence then settled between the two, practically causing America to go insane. After about thirty seconds, he'd had enough.

"Anyway!" he laughed, to cancel out the awkwardness of the environment. "Shouldn't we finish the movie?"

Japan looked over at him, smiling softly, as he nodded. "Hai."

The rest of the night was spent watching movies, however, neither of them said much of anything to the other, and by the end the fourth movie, Japan had fallen asleep, soon after followed by America, who actually manage to rest comfortably for once.

~ End of Chapter

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A/N: Hope you liked the fate of this chapter better than the original. Does anyone have a better chapter name? Any suggestions to make this chapter better? Feel free to let me know, as I'm beginning to loose motivation in this story. I can't think of anything, beyond this point. What would be a good surprise for America from England? Should I have a world meeting take place soon? Will happen at it? What will be a good ending for this story(aside from England and America making up for everything, as that's quite obvious)? Any other major events you think should happen? Or even minor events? Please, if someone has ANY suggestions they can share, Please share them. I'm totally lost on what to do now, even though I really want to continue this.

By the way, for any of you who might still somehow think this is AmeriPan (about them sleeping together), it's not. According to what I've read on several different sites, in CANON, Japan actually did sleep with America on a few occasions after they watched some scary horror movies, because America was too afraid to sleep alone.

Translations

Domo Arigatou - Thank you very much

Dakara - That's why

Gomennasai - I'm very sorry

Hai - Yes/right

Gracias, amigos y

Arigato, minna!