No. It can't be. Not again. He can't... Before Kyungsoo could realize it, he has fallen for the ever so perfect Kim Jongin. But the thing is, he doesn't want this to happen. He's been hurt once-- the love of his life crushed him into bits and pieces and he couldn't handle it anymore. It was only the first, but he was hurt so bad. Who knows if the next one could be even more worse? Ever since then, he believed that love will always end.

But he... he was beautiful. How his tanned face would glow and how the ends of his lips would curve upwards when he smiles-- Stop it. Stop. You can't do this Kyungsoo. You know how it will end. Why bother developing feelings for this.. this... man? You're a man. Not a woman... He won't like you... Like him... He was terrified to fall in love all over again. He didn't want to become scarred again. Kyungsoo shook his head to clear his mind of all the thoughts of Kim Jongin and shifted his focus to the front of the class again. Jongin sat to the right a few seats in front of Kyungsoo's seat at the left of the back of the room. It was the perfect spot for him to stare at Jongin. But instead of it being an advantage, it was more of a curse.

He had to use all of his will to not stare at him and actually focus on the lesson. The way his bangs split and how he would fix them around every 5 minutes... and how his long fingers would rhythmically tap against the desk...How intriguing was he... He would tap his foot on the floor, annoying the teacher, and after the teacher tells him to quit the annoying taps, he begins again a few minutes later as if the teacher never said anything. Kyungsoo couldn't help, but to notice these small things and love him. He loved the way his sleeve was rolled up a few centimeters higher than the other and how his pants were a bit too short for him. The way his eyelashes would bat every time he blin-- Do Kyungsoo. Focus.

"Please stop this Kim Jongin..." He muttered under his breath.

--

Kyungsoo was able to get through his morning classes and was ready for lunch. Jongin finished his lunch before Kyungsoo could open his and was chatting with a few girls and guys. Kyungsoo was jealous. The people around him was breathing the same air as him and they could see him smile and laugh... Why do you care? Eat already. Stop staring at him. Before Kyungsoo could take a bite of his meal, he noticed that there were girls crowded at the doorway. They would giggle and stare at... Jongin. Every now and then he would glance at the doorway and the girls would argue about who he was looking at. He already has those girls. He probably already has a girlfriend... He likes girls...

He looked away and continued to eat, taking each bite in anger and jealousy.

--

The school day finally ended. It seemed such a long day to him. Everyone else left first and Kyungsoo was ready to leave, but before he could leave it was his turn to clean the chalk board. He cleaned the bottom of the chalk board and made his way to the top, his enemy. He wasn't that short but he was pretty short compared to the other boys in the class. Kyungsoo stood on his tiptoes and stretched his arm to reach the top. Why does the chalk board have to be so damn tall? He was about to jump to reach the last few etchings until another hand appeared from behind and cleared the last few scribbles on the board. He looked to his side and to his surprise he saw Jongin. He quietly did the rest of the work and walk back to his desk to grab his bag before leaving.

Kyungsoo managed to escape his dazed and squeezed out the words,"T-thanks..."

Jongin reached the doorway and paused. He looked at Kyungsoo and the corner of his mouth lifted slightly. He left without saying a word. Kyungsoo leaned against the board, leaving marks of the chalk dust on his back. He slid down to the floor and covered his face. Why are you like this? This isn't the first time something like this happened. All he did was help out. My God. Stop smiling like an idiot.

Kyungsoo went home and flopped down onto his bed. The coolness relieved him of the long day and the smell of home was calming. He quickly ate supper prepared by his mother, showered, and changed into more comfortable clothes. He was ready to sleep. Exhausted, he lied on his bed and covered himself with his blankets. He stared at the ceiling until he fell asleep. He felt at peace. That was until, he dreamt of his past... His past love.