“Why are you in my head?”

SLEEPLESS NIGHT - CRUSH FT. PUNCH

Sehun was barely awake when he’s back in his apartment, stumbling inside and squinting through the dark. He still had that stupid proposal to make – they had several events coming, not to mention the preparation for the next student council’s president’s election.

It’s not that everything was his responsibility, Sehun just wanted them to be.

When Sehun called it quit after finishing the draft of the proposal it’s already past midnight, and he went inside his bedroom only to find Jongin sprawled across the bed, occupying it like he’s the owner. That’s not the only problem – Jongin also hogged the pillows, that bastard. Sehun knew Jongin wouldn’t wake up even if Sehun kicked him off the bed, but still he turned around to take the pillow in the guest room instead.

He threw the pillow to the bed before he slipped out from his jeans, climbing to Jongin’s side with an undershirt and a boxer on, pushing Jongin’s leg away from his side of bed. Jongin snore louder – one of the cons of sleeping next to him. But Sehun was already accustomed to it, it’s been a year since Jongin started to randomly spend the night at his place. Sehun wasn’t really sure was if for him or for Jongin’s own benefit, still he appreciated it the same.

Sehun patted his pillow and rested his head there, closing his eyes, ready to sleep.

But something felt different.

He opened his eyes, trying to figure out what’s bothering him.

It took him a while until Sehun finally realized what was it, and he sniffed the pillow he’s using. It’s the scent that lingered there, and it’s not Hyeri’s or Naeun’s. Sehun furrowed his eyebrows before he remembered that Hayoung had taken a nap at the guest room earlier.

The scent made Sehun thought of the girl, her calculated expression, always careful not to let her feelings read by him.

At first glance, Oh Hayoung was just a normal 16 years old, a first year in high school – but what kind of a normal teenager that didn’t question things? She just accepted the fact that her seniors had issues; one liked to drink, one had depression, and one was into fights. She didn’t ask what happened, she didn’t ask why. She just didn’t want to know.

It piqued Sehun’s curiosity.

She was too calm about everything, Sehun didn’t understand. Right now it didn’t seem like she’s going to tell anyone about them, but he couldn’t be too sure. He knew there’s something about her and he’s intended to find out. If you knew one’s weakness, it’s easier to control them. In their case, Hayoung knew about them, he needed to know about Hayoung to make things even; an eye for an eye.

He fell asleep like that, drowning in the images of a pair of big, brown eyes that always stared at him without a word, trying to read them but failed every time.

***

“Kim Jongin! Kim Jongin! Kim Jongin!”

The chant grew louder and faster as Jongin dribbled the ball between his legs across the field. He got blocked by the opponent’s defender, but the moment he seemed about to shoot, he rolled it back instead, looking up to the defender with a smirk.

His opponent, a first year, was dumbfounded when Sehun appeared out of nowhere, taking the ball Jongin passed to him, and with no one to guarded him, he kicked the ball right onto the right corner of the goalpost – the goalkeeper failed to block it.

The cheers that followed from the spectators were quite deafening, considering it’s just the third years played against the first years after school.  

Jongin grinned in satisfaction, pulling Sehun into a half-hug, walking with him to the side for a ten minutes break while waving to the girls who watched the game. The first years could only sigh, feeling betrayed since the girls from their grade also cheered for the senior.

“Crazy,” Youngjae muttered, walking to where Hayoung and Sooyoung sat while ruffling his hair. He was the defender that got tricked by Jongin. 

Junhong caught up to him, slinging his arm around Youngjae’s shoulder. “Those two are out of this world,” he snorted. He was the goalkeeper that failed to block Sehun’s shoot.

“I know, right.” Youngjae slumped down next to Sooyoung, gulping down his water. “And here we have a perfect sample of an obsessed fangirl…,” he said, narrowing his eyes to Sooyoung beside him.

“Jongin Sunbae is so coooool!!!” Sooyoung cooed, looking across the field to Jongin with dreamy eyes.

They were just hanging around after the class ended, Junhong and Youngjae played mindlessly with some other boys, Hayoung and Sooyoung watched because they planned to eat dinner together after, when some third years came and proposed to play against each other.

“Oh, Sehun Sunbae is also cool,” Sooyoung added later, almost like an afterthought, nudging Hayoung on the side. Hayoung just smiled, having nothing to say about the comment.

“Is this world fair?” Youngjae started to complain. “How come there are people like Kim Jongin and Oh Sehun? Especially your cousin,” he turned to Hayoung. Junhong glanced from his place. “What is he made of? Handsome, smart, athletic, really, is he even real? Is he always like that since he was a kid?”

With the question, Hayoung’s mind went blank for a second – because how would she know about Sehun’s personality as a child? – but before the silence stretched too long to be considered suspicious, Junhong stood up, pulling Youngjae along with him. “Yah, let’s ask to change position, I don’t think I can be a goalkeeper anymore. It’s too embarrassing.”

“Huh? Oh, okay, let’s do that,” Youngjae nodded, letting Junhong guided him to the rest of the first years.

Junhong patted Hayoung’s head when he walked pass her, and Hayoung bit her lips, secretly thankful for her childhood friend. 

Across the field, Jongin leaned onto Sehun so their friends couldn’t hear what he was going to say, “Hey, do you see Hayoung’s friend?”

Sehun raised her head to look where Hayoung sat with her friends, and he saw a lanky guy with short hair patted Hayoung’s head when he walked her by. He knew it was Choi Junhong, the one Hayoung called as her best friend, the one that knew that he’s not Hayoung’s real cousin. He should look out for him too…

Sehun shifted his gaze to the girl that Jongin pointed out - it was the same girl that always with Hayoung, the one who resembled child actress Kim Yoojung. She’s talking to Hayoung with a permanent grin. From afar Sehun could see Hayoung’s lips moved at times to reply whatever her friends told her; nodding, smiling.   

He turned back to Jongin. “… Park Sooyoung. Why?”

“She kept on shouting my name earlier,” Jongin grinned, making Sehun cocked an eyebrow at him. “Don’t you think she’s cute?”

Sehun shook his head, a smile tugging on his lips as he already knew about his best friend’s tendency to flirt with his admirers. “Don’t play with her,” was all he said to him.

The rest of the friendly match did nothing good for the first years, the pair of Kim Jongin and Oh Sehun still owned the field with their perfect team-play. Wherever Jongin directed the ball, however random, Sehun would be there to catch it.

The game ended with the third years’ victory, no doubt about it, and as the juniors approached the seniors to greet them, Jongin came to Hayoung’s side of field.

“Hey, Hoobae.” He smiled to Hayoung before glancing at Sooyoung. The girl blushed immediately, bowing and hiding her face at the same time. “… Your drink, can I have some of it? I finished mine.”

Sooyoung needed a moment before she realized it was her drink that Jongin asked for.  “H-Here, S-Sunbaenim!” She flinched herself hearing her high-pitched voice, handing the bottle to Jongin with both hands.

“Thanks.” Jongin took a gulp from the bottle before he handed it back. “See you around. Bye, Hayoung.” He left, waving at both girls – in the last moment before he turned around, Jongin glanced at Sooyoung and whatever he saw made him chuckled.

Hayoung raised her hand to wave back, feeling more comfortable now with the senior after she had spent some times with him the other day. But then she noticed how rigid Sooyoung beside her. She frowned, “Sooyoung-ah… Are you okay?”

Sooyoung was still holding the bottle in front of her with wide eyes, as if the bottle was a treasure. “… Jongin Sunbae… drinks… from my bottle…,” she said, gulping. Her hands were shaking a little. “I-If… If I drink this… I-indirect ki—”

Suddenly someone grabbed the bottle from Sooyoung’s grip, and her jaw could only hang low when she saw Youngjae drink from the bottle without her permission. “… Puaah! So refreshing! Oh, Sooyoung-ah, sorry, but Junhong drank all my water—”

“YAAAH!!!” Sooyoung didn’t let Youngjae finished, already hitting Youngjae’s head. “You moron! Moron, moron, moron! Idiot, don’t you know how precious that bottle to me!”

“What—What, what?! Auch, why are you hitting me?! I’ll buy you a new one!”

Junhong stopped by Hayoung’s side and raised his eyebrows at the scene in front of them, where Sooyoung continued to abuse Youngjae. “What’s with the two?” he nodded to their friends.

Hayoung laughed. “Jongin Sunbae drank from Sooyoung’s bottle, but before she could drink it, Youngjae took Jongin Sunbae’s indirect kiss.”

“No wonder Sooyoung looks like she wants to kill him…”

From the other side of the field, Sehun watched as Hayoung laughed with Junhong. She had a wide smile, and even though she didn’t have eye-smile, they still narrowed a little. Junhong told her something and she laughed some more, covering with one hand while she rested the other on Junhong’s arm.

She looked… happy.

It made Sehun realized he had never seen Hayoung smiled before.

***

Sehun looked down at the various side dishes the canteen offered for lunch, and he held back a sigh when he couldn’t find anything that could arouse his appetite. But he had skipped breakfast this morning, probably last night’s dinner too, he couldn’t remember, and he knew he had to eat so Sehun started to fill his tray with food.

He followed his friends to an empty table, putting it down across to Jongin. He’s rubbing his face, closing his eyes for a second, when he felt a ginger touch on his upper arm. Sehun opened his eyes and glanced, locking eyes with a concerned Naeun.

Didn’t want to make his friend worried, Sehun smiled and mouthed, “Sleepy.”

Naeun’s small frown didn’t change, but she didn’t pursue any further.

All of the sudden, in the middle of eating his lunch, Jongin chuckled to himself, taking their attention to him. “What a stubborn child,” he said, shaking his head in amusement.

“Who?” Hyeri asked, already turning her head to look around.

They followed where Jongin’s stare landed; it was the first years’ table, Hayoung’s. The table that normally used for six people were cramped with nine girls trying to fit their trays on the table, sharing chairs, and in the middle of all of it was a very uncomfortable-looking Hayoung.

“What, are they still following Hayoungie around for gossips?” Hyeri questioned, immediately got worked up.

Jongin bit on his potato before answering her, “Think so.”

He glanced at Sehun, and Sehun knew his best friend expected him to do something since he’s the one who caused it all. But Jongin was right, Hayoung was stubborn, and Sehun wanted her to come to him – not the other way around. So he simply stared back.

“Aish, so annoying,” Hyeri stood up, ignoring Jongin’s cry, “Yah where are you going?” and she walked straight to Hayoung’s table, carrying her tray with her.

When Hyeri placed her tray next to Hayoung, faking a bright smile to her juniors and asked them to make space for her, Jongin burst off laughing. It’s a typical thing for Hyeri to do something like that. She’s hot-headed, like Jongin, and girls didn’t exactly like her type – the pretty, confident ones.

But it didn’t take long until Hayoung’s table broke into a big laugh, apparently because of something Hyeri told them. And that’s her charm, how Hyeri could make herself the center of the attention with her jokes and her boisterous laugh. True, the ones that hated her guts would probably still hate her whatever Hyeri does, but there were people who changed their opinion because of her easy-going personality. 

As soon as the focus was no longer on Hayoung, Hyeri exchanged looks with her. The younger gave her a shy smile, it seemed knew the reason Hyeri was there. Hyeri grinned back, babying her with ruffling her hair. It only made Hayoung smiled wider although sheepishly, probably accustomed with the affection Hyeri showed her.

Apparently she could smile in front of them, not only in front of her friends.

It was in front of him that she didn’t.

“Sehun,” Naeun touched Sehun’s arm again.

Jongin was already gone back to eating, Sehun was the only one who kept on staring at Hayoung’s table.

As he picked up his chopsticks to eat, Sehun admitted to himself that the thought, somehow, bothered him. 

***

A few days later, Sehun stayed after school because the student council had a meeting with the full members from the third and second years, excluding the classes’ representatives. They were going to discuss the upcoming festival and the student council’s president’s selection, it was a crucial meeting, that’s why the four core members were present.

Namjoon stood in front of the room with Youngjae, while Sehun and Soojung took seats beside them.

“Before I start our meeting, I have a very important question to ask. I need your opinion about the matter,” Namjoon stated to the whole student council members and Sehun raised his eyebrows, he had no knowledge about this important question. Namjoon offered him no explanation and Youngjae only shrugged too. “Among all of you,” Namjoon addressed the room again solemnly with brows knitted, “Please raise your hand… if you think our Vice Oh Sehun needs some rest.” And then Namjoon himself raised his hand.

As soon as Namjoon finished, Youngjae snorted – but he covered it up as a cough – and he too, raised his hand, shoulders shaking as he tried not to burst out laughing. A lot of student council members also tried hard not to laugh because Namjoon looked so serious with his question. Knowing Namjoon, he probably did. Sehun just shook his head, glancing to Youngjae who didn’t even bother pretending he didn’t enjoy the whole situation.

“Well?” Namjoon, oblivious to all the struggle, asked, and all of the members raised their hands.  Sehun rubbed his forehead, amused and incredulous at the same time. “See, Sehun-ah!” he looked up when Namjoon called him. The student council’s president had this huge smile on his face. “Everyone agree with me, so go home and take a rest, okay? You look like you can collapse anytime soon, and I need you not to.”

“… Not everyone,” Sehun said. When Namjoon widened his eyes at him, Sehun continued, “Soojung doesn’t think I need a rest.”

All eyes were on the Treasurer now, including Namjoon’s sad slash hopeful eyes, and Soojung glared at Sehun for this. Sehun just smiled. Very reluctantly, Soojung raised her hand and Youngjae ended up in a coughing fit. Soojung directed her glare to the Secretary now.

“There! Now everyone agrees, so Sehun-ah, please, please go home, alright?” Namjoon said to Sehun, his concern was very obvious in his expression and his tone. Namjoon was the kindest person Sehun had ever known, and that’s one of the reason he trusted Namjoon to be the President instead of him. 

Sehun exhaled. “Alright. But call me if you need anything, okay?”

Namjoon didn’t waste any time to nod, raising his thumb, even though Sehun knew Namjoon wouldn’t. He looked at Youngjae, but lately Youngjae also sided up with Namjoon too much. Lucky for him, there’s always Soojung, who probably would even drag him out of his death bed if they really needed him.

Youngjae grabbed Sehun’s arm on his way out, whispering, “I saw Jongin earlier, he’s still in school. Call him and get some sleep.”

Sehun patted his back. “Thanks.” It’s nice to have Youngjae, because he knew and he understood, but unlike Jongin, Hyeri, or Naeun, Youngjae didn’t know and didn’t understand.

The Student Council’s room seemed larger now that Sehun was alone, and he walked to the computer to play some music. He chuckled when he saw Youngjae made a playlist for him; Sehun’s Lullaby. He clicked play, the first song was Akdong Musician’s Hello. Youngjae had taste.

He sat back and took out his phone, opening his group chat with his friends.

Oh Sehun:

Anyone still at school?

Namjoon kicked me out from the meeting, said I need a rest.

He only needed to wait for thirty seconds before someone replied. It was Hyeri.

Lee Hyeri:

And you do, you rascal.

You think you can live by simply breathing?

o(-`д´- ｡)

Kim Jongin:

You change your picture again Lee?

I still have practice ㅠㅠ

Lee Hyeri:

Don’t I look pretty? (´∀｀)♡

And I have a detention

Sorry, Hun-ah

Try call Naeun?

Kim Jongin:

Wait I have an idea

And no to your question, Lee

Jjangah doesn’t think so

Oh Sehun:

It’s alright.

I’ll try to sleep.

What did you do now Hyeri?

Lee Hyeri:

My metallic blue nails are too cool for Mr. Yoo

I’ll go to you as soon as I finished, Hun

And shut up, Kim ( #`⌂´)/┌┛

Sehun shook his head in amusement reading Hyeri’s and Jongin’s texts. They always found a way to be up against each other, and yet Jongin was the one who shielded Hyeri when she was in a trouble.

That was how Sehun got to know him; Jongin said he was Hyeri’s boyfriend when he wasn’t, and Sehun said Jongin indeed was even if he knew he really wasn’t.

He’s deep in his thoughts when there’s a knock on the door, and after Sehun said, “Come in”, Naeun peeked in.

Sehun sat straight, smiling at the sight of his friend.

“I was nearby…,” the girl told him.  “And I read your message…”

“You don’t have anything to do?” Sehun asked as he stood up, gesturing for Naeun to came inside.

She shook her head. “I can stay. So…, if you want to sleep…”

Out of the four, him and Naeun were the most distant, and yet she was the one who ever saw Sehun broke down when his world came crashing down; not Hyeri, and most definitely not Jongin. Sometimes he thought he caught Naeun stared like she’s disgusted of him, and he wondered whether it’s true or was it just his imagination…

Sehun didn’t want to think about that day, so he just smiled and said his thanks.

Even though it’s not the first time Naeun still waited for Sehun to settled on the couch before she followed, sitting beside him. She stayed still, glancing at Sehun from the corner of her eyes, and slowly so he wouldn’t startle her, Sehun rested his head on Naeun’s shoulder. He could feel how she tensed immediately with the contact, but she didn’t move away.

“… Is it okay like this?” Sehun asked – he always asked, because he’s not Jongin.

He’s not Jongin.

“… Yes,” Naeun’s answer was short, yet Sehun knew she told him the truth. “If it isn’t, I won’t be here, Sehun.”

“But you don’t have to,” Sehun replied, voice grew quiet as he closed his eyes. It stung a little like he had been awake for too long. He should thank Namjoon for kicking him out from the meeting. “Naeun-ah… Come with us next time. It’s not the same without you.”

“… How long is she going to be around?” Naeun asked in a whisper, like she’s afraid that she would disturb Sehun. The real Naeun was gentle and caring, and Sehun liked this Naeun. Hyeri was fun but she could tire people out.

Sometimes Sehun liked the excitement Hyeri created, the other times he preferred the serenity Naeun brought.

Sometimes he wished for something in between.

“As long as it takes, if I want to protect you...,” Sehun replied. It’s nice, someone’s presence around him, the human temperature next to him. He’s sleepy. “… I don’t understand her…”

Naeun was quiet for a moment. “… What about her?”

“She’s… different…,” Sehun was in the brink of sleep. “She never… shows any emotion in front of me. But she smiles when she’s with her friends… I don’t know… that she can look like that… I guess… she doesn’t like me…”

Naeun didn’t say anything for long, realizing that Sehun had fallen asleep beside her. 

*** 

Hayoung stood outside the Student Council’s room, unable to leave, but reluctant to knock.

Just a few minutes ago she’s preparing to go home, walking to the front gate through the field where some sport clubs were practicing, when Jongin called out her name. The senior had asked her to go to the Student Council’s room because Sehun needed help.

She was hesitated at first, but then she had remembered about the last time Sehun took her home, how he only left after making sure she was safe in her room; the feeling she had at that time. That’s why she agreed.

Now Hayoung’s having second thoughts, but she couldn’t stand there forever, she already promised Jongin that she’d help Sehun.

She raised her fist and knocked on the door, careful at first, then firmer when she decided to do it right. There’s a soft reply from inside – it sounded nowhere near Sehun’s voice.

Hayoung opened the door, and her eyes immediately landed on the two figures on the couch – what she saw made her frozen in her place.

Son Naeun was staring back at her with wide eyes upon realizing who she was, and from her place in the door, Hayoung couldn’t see who’s sitting beside Naeun – but she could tell it’s the school’s vice-president from his hair and his backside.

For a few seconds that stretched for too long no one said anything between them, and Hayoung swallowed, forcing herself to look away from how Sehun rested his head on Naeun’s shoulder. She tried to gather her thoughts, and finally remembered the reason why she’s there.

“Jongin Sunbae,” she started, averting her eyes to look at Naeun. “Jongin Sunbae said Sehun Sunbae needs help… So I…,” she didn’t finish her sentence.

Hayoung saw how Naeun made a move with her free hand to check on her phone. She’s being careful with her movements like she didn’t want Sehun to feel uncomfortable – somehow the gesture made Hayoung upset.

“… It’s alright,” Naeun said after she looked at her phone, not quite looking at Hayoung and keeping her voice low. “… He doesn’t need… He doesn’t need you anymore.”

It shouldn’t matter, how Naeun said Sehun didn’t need her, but Hayoung found that the words left an unpleasant feeling in her stomach. Unconsciously, she fisted her hand on her skirt. “Then… I will leave, Sunbaenim,” she bowed to the girl and turned around, trying not to make a sound when she closed the door because she could tell Sehun was sleeping.

He was sleeping on Naeun’s shoulder.

Involuntarily, the image of Hyeri came out from the room where she slept with Jongin before she curled up next to Sehun came to her mind, followed by the image of Jongin’s rubbing his thumb on Naeun’s hand to calm her down.

Hayoung fastened her pace, trying to block away the unpleasant feelings for taking over her emotions.

She really didn’t want to get involved with the seniors and whatever relationship they shared between them.

***

“Is it hard?” Hayoung snapped awake from her daydream, looking up to see the usual waiter at the diner, Dongwoon, peering down on her. He nodded to Hayoung’s book, and she looked at it. She’s been on the same page for the last thirty minutes, perhaps more. “You haven’t write anything…”

Hayoung smiled a little, gripping the pen on her hand tighter. “I’m not really good with Physics…”

“Yeah… I hate it too back then,” Dongwoon said, scrunching up his nose while taking the empty plates on Hayoung’s table. “Wish I can help you, Kid. But it’s already late, even for you, don’t you think it’s time to go home? Where’s your boyfriend?”

Hayoung forced herself not to look at the seat in front of her. “He’s not my boyfriend. He’s just… a senior at school.” For some reasons, she gripped her pen even tighter.

“Ah, really? He’s handsome,” Dongwoon said, winking before he left Hayoung alone.

She smiled to acknowledge him, but her smile disappeared as soon as her eyes landed on the empty seat. It’s strange that the seat had always been vacant except for one night and now when it’s unoccupied it just felt… empty.  

It’s not that she’s waiting for Sehun to show up like the other day – in fact, Sehun hadn’t come to pick her up since last time, and the last time they exchanged words were when Sehun took her home. But after what she saw earlier at school…

Hayoung exhaled, closing her book. It was indeed already past her usual time to go home.

And it’s not because she’s waiting for Oh Sehun that she stayed late.

She just had a difficult homework tonight.

Hayoung paid for her dinner and walked outside of the restaurant, in the middle of zipping her jacket when she saw a Black Honda HR-V parked nearby, making her stopped short in her track.

The window rolled down, revealing Sehun behind the wheel. He leaned over to call her, “Hayoung.”

Her jaw tightened and the childish part of her wanted to walk away, ignoring the boy, and maybe then he would chase after her. But her pride didn’t allow her to be upset just because she saw him sleeping on another girl’s shoulder. It shouldn’t matter.

Sehun waited – just waited, with no slightest hint that he’s impatient or annoyed, and Hayoung exhaled, giving up. She walked to Sehun’s car and entered without a word. Hayoung knew she’s being rude, but she had always been rude to Sehun anyway and Sehun didn’t seem to mind, so Hayoung didn’t care. Especially now.

There’s a heavy atmosphere between them that shouldn’t be there, and even the cheerful radio DJ chirping about the nice night and the upbeat songs played in the radio couldn’t seem to fill the silence.

It’s not until they arrived in front of Hayoung’s house, Sehun already pulled the hand-brake up, that he opened his mouth, “I can’t sleep.”

This was not in their routine. Hayoung stared at the dashboard, waiting for Sehun to continue.

“I have difficulties,” Sehun said, “… sleeping. It’s not always, sometimes I can sleep just fine, sometimes it’ll take a long time, but sometimes I can’t sleep at all. I need…,” he paused, “I need someone beside me.”

Hayoung turned her head and Sehun met her eyes, giving her that smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Naeun said you came to the Student Council’s room this evening,” he explained. “Namjoon told me I need to rest and he sent me home, but I didn’t. I don’t like being alone at home for too long. While at school…”

He didn’t finish his sentence, leaving the words hanging.

“… there’s a lot of people,” Hayoung said quietly, finishing Sehun’s words. She knew the feeling.

Sehun didn’t confirm nor deny it.

“… Sometimes I take a nap at school,” instead, he continued, “but when I can’t sleep, I need someone. That’s why Naeun was there. Hyeri had detention, Jongin had practice.” Sehun was still staring at Hayoung as if he waited for her response. After it was clear Hayoung wouldn’t say anything, he said, “You’re the only one who know about this, aside from them… and Youngjae.”

She thought about how sleepy and tired Sehun looked lately under his permanent polite smiles, and she thought about Jongin spending the night at Sehun’s, the guest room that had Hyeri’s and Naeun’s clothes, the apartment that had no signs of the Principal stayed there at all. 

There were a lot of emotions she felt upon Sehun’s revelation about himself, but more than anything, what she felt right now, was anger.

“Why? Why are you telling me this?” she asked, balling her fists. “… Did I ask you? Did I say I need an explanation? Why are you telling me your—” Hayoung shook her head. Another secret that she had to keep. “You don’t trust me.” It’s not a question.

Sehun chuckled hollowly as he looked away. “I also don’t know why I’m telling you this. … You’re right, I don’t trust you. It’s just…” He his lips, contemplating. “Before, when you told me to drive safe… I thought we’re getting closer,” he turned back to Hayoung. “I don’t know why, but you seem angry at me tonight.”

“I’m not—!” Hayoung stopped herself because for someone that’s not angry, she did sound like one. “… I’m not angry.”

Sehun stared for a second before he nodded, leaning on his backhand on the wheel. He stayed like that, just staring at Hayoung’s side profile for the longest time, before he let the words slipped out, “… Why you never smile when you’re with me…?”  

He said it carelessly in the spurt of moment, but the impact was spot on when Hayoung flushed, either from embarrassment or from rage. She looked at Sehun and opened but nothing came out, and flustered, Hayoung unbuckled herself, exiting the car in a record time.

Sehun watched as the girl took big strides onto her house, almost as if she’s running away from him.

He exhaled when Hayoung disappeared from his sight, resting his forehead on the steering wheel.

It’s not just Hayoung that he didn’t understand; he also started to not understand himself.

thank you for reading! ❤