“I wasn't sure,

but it felt like our fate was already decided.”

IN YOUR EYES - ONEW

Hayoung checked her phone; 01:12am with no new message or missed call.

It didn’t hurt as much as before so she just pocketed her phone back, stuffed her books to her bag and zipped up her jacket, readying herself to go home. The waiter at the diner who already knew her well – Dongwoon, his name was – reminded her to take a taxi instead of the bus and Hayoung nodded politely even though she had no intention to ride a taxi at all.

Outside, she pulled the hood of her jacket up to cover her head and Hayoung walked with her hands inside her jacket’s pocket. Her headsets were blasting Nell’s Fantasy and she was just about to cross the road when a ruckus not far ahead from her taking Hayoung’s attention.

“Let me go!” a girl yelled. Basing from her pronunciation and her tone, she’s not entirely sober. “Ahjussi, if—,” she hiccupped, “If you… can’t give me love, I don’t care about your… your money!”

Hayoung looked around, there weren’t many people, and the few didn’t seem to care.

“I’ll give you love as much as you want, now come with me, I promise I’ll treat you good,” the middle-aged man said impatiently, tugging the girl’s arm, afraid that she would yell again and attracted more attention from other passerby.

The girl hiccupped again. “… R-Really? You-You’ll love me?”

The man grinned. “Yes, of course. I will love you right.”

Without thinking twice Hayoung rushed her steps to the girl’s side. “Unnie, I’ve been looking for you everywhere! Come on, let’s go home, Father is worried.”

The girl turned her head, and Hayoung noticed just now that she’s Hyeri – that Lee Hyeri. Her face was a little bit red with trail of dry tears on her cheeks, and her eyes were puffy and glassy too; she’s been crying.

Putting her initial surprise aside, Hayoung shot a look at the middle-aged man, whose hand was still on Hyeri’s arm. “Let go of my sister, Ahjussi, or I’ll call our parents and the police too,” she said calmly – Hayoung knew her blank expression could make the grown-ups uncomfortable.

The man glared at her but he let go, scurrying away.

Hyeri hiccupped before she looked at Hayoung. “But I’m not your unnie… I don’t have a sister…,” she shook her head in a cute manner, clearly under the influence of alcohol. “Sorry, Dongsaeng-ah,” and then she patted Hayoung’s head with affection, making the younger a little bit flustered.

“Sunbaenim…,” Hayoung held Hyeri’s arm to stop her. “Let’s call a taxi for you, okay?” She pulled Hyeri to the side and called a taxi with her phone. Hyeri plopped down on the ground, not caring about her surrounding, and Hayoung left her to buy a bottle of water on a nearby convenience store. When Hayoung returned, Hyeri was still on the same spot where she left her.  “Sunbaenim, please drink this.”

Hyeri narrowed her eyes and eyed the bottle. “That’s not beer,” she pouted.

“No, Sunbaenim, this is something better.”

“… Really?”

“Yes, you should try it.”

Curious, Hyeri took the bottle and drank it. After she swallowed down, she looked even sadder than before. “This is just water…” She sniffed and looked like she could cry any minute soon.

Thankfully she didn’t, only pouted and muttered incoherent words, some that Hayoung picked up were words like, “You fool,” or, “I love you,” or, “Go die,” or, “I can’t live without you,” and she wondered whether it’s a break up. She couldn’t help but to remember Junhong’s bet with his friends. Was it Kim Jongin? Or Oh Sehun?

When the taxi arrived, Hayoung helped Hyeri to get inside the vehicle, hoping she’s not too drunk to remember her address. “Sunbaenim, where do you live?”

“Home?” Hyeri raised her head, blinking several times as if the word triggered something in her memory. “Nooo! Hyeri doesn’t want to go home!” She shook her head furiously, whining. “Sehunnie! Hyeri wanna go to Sehunnie!”

Hayoung felt even more lost. “But I don’t know Sehun Sunbae’s place…”

“Hehehe,” Hyeri giggled. “That’s why Sehunnie write down his address for us!” She fumbled around her purse and showed the inside of her wallet to Hayoung. There’re a paper there, with Sehun’s name, number, and address in a neat handwriting, along with Please contact me if there’s something happened to Lee Hyeri.

Hayoung stared at the paper for a second longer before she showed it to the taxi driver, making sure he’d drive Hyeri safely to the destination. She’s about to close the door, but then Hyeri held back her hand.

“Dongsaeng-ah!” Hyeri called. “What’s your name?”

She probably wouldn’t remember Hayoung in the morning, but still Hayoung bowed to her. “… I’m Oh Hayoung, Sunbaenim.”

“Oh…? … It’s like Sehunnie’s name! You’re Sehun’sdongsaeng!” Hyeri giggled cheerily – her mood swing was amazing, Hayoung thought. “You’re reaaally pretty. Byeee, Dongsaeng-ah!” she waved, and Hayoung smiled a little, closing the door for her.

Later, when Hayoung was already on the bus on her way home, she recalled back her peculiar encounter with the senior.

If Hayoung had to admit it to anyone, she didn’t care about the fact that Hyeri drinks alcohol, or the probability that the rumors about her and older men were true. It didn’t surprised her either – not in the sense that she expected Hyeri to be like the one in the rumors, but because she knew people had their own secrets, stories, reasons that people didn’t know; therefore, it was never wise to judge.

Hayoung just curious why Hyeri chose to go to Sehun’s place instead of going home…

But whatever the reason was, it didn’t concern her and it’s not her place to meddle, so Hayoung brushed all the thoughts aside and focused back to the Nell’s songs on her phone.

She did wonder, briefly, if people would find her apathetic.

***

The self-study time after school was over, and the students that chose to take the class were preparing to go home. Hayoung always took the class – not exactly because she’s studious, but because it gave her a reason to stay longer at school.

Junhong and Youngjae – rather inseparable now, and Hayoung was secretly glad because even though Youngjae’s a chatterbox, at least he’s not a bad kid who smoked or bullied people – they skipped it, Junhong said something about a Starcraft match happened at the PC bang downtown.

“Hey, the kids said there’s this new ice cream shop, want to drop by there?” Sooyoung asked, linking her arm with Hayoung as they walked down the hall.

Hayoung smiled, nodding. “Sure!”

“Okay! Ah, I need to pee—”

“Student!” A teacher stopped them, on his hands were stack of books that he handed to Hayoung. “Student, can you help me put this back to the Art Room? Just put them on top of the desk in the corner.”

“Ah, yes…”

“Hayoung-ah, can we go to the bathroom first—,” Sooyoung lowered her body and clutched her stomach, as if she’s in pain. “I don’t think I can hold it…”

“Yah, it’s not good to hold it, just go, I can do it myself. Hurry up!” She nudged Sooyoung’s away with her shoulder. Sooyoung grinned before she darted to the nearest bathroom.

The Art Room was empty, it seemed like there’s no club activity that day. It’s full with easels, empty canvases with all kinds of painting utensils, and there were some busts on the other side of the room. There were also paintings decorating the walls, but the one that immediately took her attention was the one in the middle; it’s a painting of a bird inside a golden cage.

When Hayoung inched closer, she could see SN as the artist’s initial.

She found the desk in the corner that the teacher mentioned and she dropped the books there. She turned around, ready to go, but her elbow knocked onto an easel behind her and she heard a dull thud.

Hayoung looked down to the floor, where a sketchbook was opened in the middle, showing a pencil sketch of the bench at the school’s field. She picked it up, her eyes widened at the realness of the drawing. She browsed through the pages that filled with more pencil sketches, and all of them were scenery, inanimate objects – except for one.  

On the last page was a sketch of a boy, sharp jawline and thick lips with a soft smile on his face, leaning on a window’s frame while staring at the painter.

Kim Jongin.

Hayoung didn’t miss the initial SN on the corner of the page.

Carefully, she closed the book and placed it back to the easel, right on time when the room’s door opened and enter Son Naeun, half-panting like she’s in a rush to get into the room. Their eyes met before Naeun’s drifted to the sketchbook on the easel.

Hayoung stepped back, letting Naeun came inside and took her book.

She didn’t acknowledge Hayoung, grabbing her sketchbook without even spare a glance to the junior. Hayoung kept quiet in her place.

But then, when Naeun opened her bag to put in the book in a hasty, she dropped something – and that thing rolled to Hayoung’s feet.

She bent down to pick it up; it was a small tube, a bottle for pills. “Sunbaenim, you drop this—” Hayoung cut herself when she read the label on the bottle.

“Give it back!” Naeun cried out in panic, snatching the bottle from Hayoung’s hand.

Hayoung could only blink, staring at Naeun who’s trembling and clutching the bottle to her chest like her life depended on it, her expression could only be described as terrified.

Something clenched in Hayoung’s stomach – that expression, it’s so familiar.

She opened , about to reassure Naeun that it’s fine— but before she could say anything, Sooyoung showed up at the door. “Hayoung-ah! Sorry, are you done yet—”

Upon Sooyoung’s arrival, Naeun whirled around and left the room, bumping Sooyoung’s shoulder in the process but didn’t stop to apologize.

“Auch! Who was that?!” Sooyoung pouted, massaging her shoulder. “She didn’t say sorry…”

“… A third year,” Hayoung said quietly, purposely not mentioning Naeun’s name.

“Hah, really? I’m sorry, Sunbaenim,” Sooyoung bowed slightly to the direction where Naeun went. She turned back to Hayoung, “You’re done, right? Let’s go home!”

Hayoung smiled back, trying to keep up with Sooyoung’s enthusiasm.

Later when she came home, Hayoung went to the medicine cabinet to check on something.

She found what she’s looking for, a small bottle just like Naeun’s. She checked the label, confirming her initial thought about Naeun’s medicine.

It was anti-depressant pills.

***

It was Sunday, Hayoung had spent the evening at the library and it was sometime after midnight when she walked back home. She’s playing Candy Crush on her phone and she’s close at finishing the level, but then her steps halted when she heard a loud thud from ahead.

A few meters from her, a bunch of guys were ganging up on one guy – two here holding him back while the third threw punches and the fourth just stood aside, keeping watch. Hayoung didn’t move from her place, staring, until the fourth guy locked eyes with her, and he nudged the third guy, gesturing him to stop and tilted his head to Hayoung’s direction.

The third guy finally stopped to turn at Hayoung, and he spitted before telling his friends to let go. The boy they beat up slumped down to the ground, having no strength to hold himself up.

They walked pass Hayoung as if they didn’t do anything – even though the third guy threw her a look – and Hayoung did the same, pretending as if she didn’t just see them beating up a guy. After she made sure they had left, she walked to the guy.

“Are you alright?” Hayoung squatted down to look at him.

There’s a pained groan and when he lifted his head, Hayoung’s heart stopped beating for a second because it’s actually Kim Jongin, out of all the people. He looked like a mess with a bleeding nose and an ugly cut on his lips along with some reddish spots that probably bruised later, and he’s clutching on his stomach.

“Hey…,” he said weakly, a smile tugging on his lips. He winced after, apparently it hurt for him to move his lips. “… Thanks for saving me.” And Jongin still had that playful glint on his eyes. 

Hayoung frowned a little – the way Jongin took the situation lightly somewhat bothered her.

Jongin fumbled around his pocket, fishing out his phone with great difficulty and he hissed when he moved his limb. He tapped on the screen a few times but it remained black. “… Oh ,” he cursed when he realized he ran out of battery. “Now what…”

“… My house is nearby,” Hayoung said. “If you want to recharge your phone… And clean up the wounds.” She gestured at Jongin’s face.

The boy looked at Hayoung with question evident in his eyes. Then he started to grin before he said, “Don’t you know… it’s dangerous to invite strangers… to your house?”

Of course Kim Jongin didn’t know her. “I’m your hoobae, Sunbaenim.”

“Really?” Jongin raised his eyebrows. “Sorry, I didn’t know. So…,” he winced again as he shifted, “Is it okay… if I take your offer?”

Hayoung nodded and she pulled his arm around her shoulder, helping him to stand up. Although it’s a little bit difficult since Jongin was tall and muscular, Hayoung realized he’s actually quite lean, not as heavy as she thought he would.

It took some times until they reached Hayoung’s house with Jongin limping and panting hard, trying to keep himself together and didn’t put too much weight on Hayoung. He was about to collapse on the couch atHayoung’s living room, but she stopped him.

“Let’s go to my room, Sunbaenim, my parents…” She didn’t finish her sentence and Jongin only nodded.

By the time Hayoung let Jongin down on her bed, he’s on the verge of collapsing – beads of sweat trickled down his forehead and there’s a crease between his eyebrows as he closed his eyes. Hayoung took it to herself to take Jongin’s phone and charge it, and then she left the room to grab the first aid kit.

“Sunbaenim…,” Hayoung touched Jongin’s shoulder with the tips of her fingers. Jongin opened his eyes, looked down to the small basin filled with water on Hayoung’s hand, and tried to sit up.

“Sorry… for troubling you…,” Jongin said, furrowing his eyebrows to withstand the pain when Hayoung cleaned his face with a damp towel.

Hayoung shook her head. “… No, you’re not.”

No one said anything after that and Hayoung worked in silence until she realized that Jongin was staring at her – deep, unblinking, as if he’s trying to solve a puzzle.Hayoung’s hand stopped moving. “… Sunbaenim?”

“You didn’t ask.” Jongin’s eyes were curious, and so was his tone. He didn’t have to explain what he meant.

Hayoung dabbed the towel to the corner of Jongin’s mouth. “… It doesn’t matter,” she answered, voice only loud enough so that Jongin could hear her, continuing with putting ointment on Jongin’s cut.

What Hayoung didn’t expect was for Jongin to grin and pat her head, “I like you!” The gesture reminded Hayoung of Hyeri’s days before and she – again, flustered – ducked her head, avoiding Jongin’s gaze.

“Hey, Hoobae,” Jongin sighed when Hayoung was done and he lay back down. “Can I ask for more help…? Call Sehun for me, please? … Tell him to pick me up here. I’m just… not in the mood to hear his lecture now… Do you mind… if I take… a nap…?” His eyes were already fluttered close even before he finished his sentence.  

Hayoung stared at her senior for a few seconds, just taking in his appearance. He’s wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, a stain of blood near the collar, and earlier when Hayoung sat close to him… She thought she smelled a woman’s perfume mixed with Jongin’s sweat and probably his aftershave.

Jongin shifted in his sleep, mumbled something inaudible. Hayoung remembered to looked away.

It’s after midnight and there’s a boy inside her room, sleeping.

And it’s Kim Jongin.

Hayoung took Jongin’s phone from her desk, it’s already recharged enough for her to make a phone call.

The photo that greeted Hayoung as the wallpaper when she the device was a picture of Jongin, Naeun, and another boy that Hayoung didn’t recognize. They looked younger, maybe around middle school or so, with Naeun in the middle, Jongin’s arm slung around her neck and the other boy held her waist, all sporting happy faces.

She tried to look for Sehun in the phonebook but none came out, so Hayoung checked the logs.

Taeminnie was the last number that called Jongin. Under it was a received call from Long Legs Lee and Hayoung could only guess it’s Hyeri. Naeunnie and Perfect Oh were also there.

Hayoung called Perfect Oh, hoping that Jongin didn’t have another friend with the surname Oh that he could label as perfect.

Her train of thoughts stopped when someone picked up, low, raspy voice that thick with sleep answered her. “… What is it, Jongin-ah?”

Without having control of it, her heartbeat picked up a rate hearing the voice. She’s talking to Oh Sehun.

She cleared , throwing one last glance to Jongin on her bed before she slipped out of the room, didn’t want to disturb his rest. “Um, is this… Is this Oh Sehun?” Hayoung asked to make sure.

There’s a pause and a rustle from the other end, like he’s sitting up from his bed, before he replied, now much more awake. “Yes, I’m Oh Sehun. Who is this? Did something happen to Jongin?”

“He’s fine,” was the first thing Hayoung said and she thought she heard a relieved sigh. She hesitated, wondering how to tell Sehun what happened to his best friend. “I found him beaten up,…and I took her to my house. Kim Jongin Sunbaenim is sleeping, so he asks me to call you and tell you—”

“—to pick him up,” Sehun finished the sentence for her. Hayoung heard pacing sounds from his line and she wondered if he’s getting ready now. “Just text me your address with Jongin’s phone and I’ll be there soon.”

“… I understand.”

After sending a text to Sehun and cleaned up the first aid kit from her room, Hayoung waited outside her house, didn’t want Sehun to ring the bell and woke up her parents. She sat on the steps in front of her door, hugging herself tighter with her cardigan when the spring’s breeze caressed her arms. It’s probably past 1am now.

Left with nothing to do, Hayoung picked up her phone and played Candy Crush again, trying to beat the level she had almost won. Somewhere on her mind was Sehun’s voice – deeper on the phone – and Hyeri, drunk, almost let herself got pick up by an older man, then there’s Naeun with her pills that clearly a medication for depression, also Jongin, who got beat up on the street and how he acted as if he’s used to it; all those thoughts, Hayoung pushed them away to the back of her mind.

Some time passed before a black SUV, Honda HR-V, slowed down in front of Hayoung’s house and then stopped completely, parking there. Hayoung stood up at the same time when the driver’s door opened, revealing her school’s vice president stepping down from his car. He didn’t look like someone who got waken up rudely just half an hour ago – his hair might not styled, but his eyes were alert and what he wore was definitely not his pajama, the blue shirt has no single crease on it.

Sehun glanced up to her after he locked his car and took long strides until he’s in front of Hayoung. “Hi, I’m Oh Sehun,” he said, nodding a little, sounded and looked every bit of professional; polite, formal. “You’re the one who called me about Kim Jongin…?”

Hayoung swallowed, trying to gather her thoughts. There’s something nerve-wrecking about talking to him. He’s not the first rank and he’s not the council’s president, but he’s… Oh Sehun. His social position, somehow, was above those two.

She racked her hair, just to give her hand something to do. “Yes… He’s inside.” Before she could turn around to show Sehun the way, he stopped her.

“I’m sorry, but are you the reason he got beat up? Are you the boy’s girlfriend?”

Hayoung frowned a little, wondering if she heard it right. “I… don’t understand what are you talking about, Sunbaenim.”

Sehun didn’t react for a while, just staring at Hayoung like he’s trying to decide whether she’s telling the truth or not. “… My mistake, forget it, then,” he said in the end, but even after he said that, he still didn’t move from his place. “… You call me Sunbaenim, are you my junior at school?”

The memory of that day at the school’s backyard, when Sehun pushed the ball to her arms, whispering in her ear, his voice and his half smile, that memory was still vivid on Hayoung’s mind, but to Sehun, she’s no one but one of the new students. As she should be.

Hayoung nodded, bowing her head, hands folded in front. “I’m Oh Hayoung, a first year.”

“Oh Hayoung?” Sehun perked up immediately, repeating her name with a raised eyebrow as though Hayoung’s name switched something in his head. Second later, a brief recognition flashed in his eyes. “Oh Hayoung,” he repeated again, firmer now.

She could only nod, all of sudden feeling anxious because of Sehun’s stare. She didn’t know why Sehun stared at her like that, and she did not like it.

Sehun stared like he wanted to see through her.

“Are you…,” his eyes narrowed, just a little, barely recognizable if Hayoung didn’t pay attention, “Perhaps, are you the one who helped Hyeri?”

There’s nothing like malice in his tone, Sehun kept it neutral, but somehow it felt like Hayoung had walk into a minefield. Wrong move and it’d blow.

She opened , “I—,” but she wasn’t sure what to say with Sehun staring at her like that, so she closed back.

“And you’re also the one who found out about Naeun’s medicine?” Hayoung didn’t answer, but Sehun seemed to find the answer on her expression. “… And now you help Jongin.”

She played with the hem of her cardigan, now averting her gaze to the ground, didn’t dare to meet Sehun’s eyes. They made her nervous, uneasy.

“You know a lot about us.”

It’s not a question so Hayoung kept her silence.

“… Did you tell anyone? About Hyeri and Naeun?”

This time, she was able to answer. “Why should I?”   

“I don’t know. People talk.” Apparently they were aware about the rumors surrounding them.

“… I guess…”

Sehun didn’t reply to this and Hayoung was left fidgeting on her place. “Jongin Sunbae…,” she finally said, waving her hand to the direction of her house.

For a moment Sehun scrutinized Hayoung’s expression, almost as if he didn’t believe her. There’s that thing on his eyes again, the one that made him looked like he’s trying to see through right her, and it set her nerves on edge. It made her want to run away.

She clenched her fists behind her back, waiting for more questions.

But then Sehun broke eye-contact, rubbed his face, exhaling, “Right. Jongin.” And he followed Hayoung into her house.

When they got into her room Jongin was deep in his sleep, still in the same position as Hayoung left him, and Sehun woke him up with a gentle shake on his shoulder. “Jongin, wake up. Let’s go home.”

“… Sehun?” Jongin mumbled drowsily.

“Yeah, it’s me. Can you stand?”

Hayoung watched from the side while Sehun hoisted Jongin by the arm and helped him walk all the way to Sehun’s car. Sehun even put on the seatbelt for Jongin since the boy was too tired and sleepy to do it by himself.

After he’s done, he turned around to face Hayoung. “Thank you for your help.”

“It’s nothing.” She gripped her own hand behind her back. It’s strange; Sehun made her felt like she had to put up her guard even higher.

Sehun tilted his head slightly to the side, observing Hayoung, and once again Hayoung found herself avoiding Sehun’s stare. “… Tomorrow.” She lifted her eyes when she heard Sehun’s voice.

“Tomorrow, if anyone ask, just say yes.”

“W-What?” Hayoung asked, puzzled with the sudden order.

For the first time that night, Sehun smiled at her. It was his usual smile; the vice president’s smile, the respectable student’s smile, the senior’s smile. Polite, tender, and amiable.

“Good night, Oh Hayoung.”

Watching Sehun’s car drove away, Hayoung couldn’t help but to wonder – did she manage to get out of the minefield, or did she step on a mine?

***

The next day, everything went on like usual and Hayoung almost forgot about Sehun’s words from the previous night. But then at lunch, she felt a lot of people stealing curious glances at her while whispering or murmuring to each other.

“Do I have something on my face?” Hayoung asked Sooyoung.

“No?” Sooyoung answered confusedly, because she, too, noticed the attention Hayoung received.

Hayoung grew self-conscious and she even checked her uniform and her socks – did she wear mismatched socks? – but she found nothing weird about her appearance today. 

It wasn’t until she returned to her class that Hayoung got the answer.

“Hayoung-ah!” the girls flocked to her upon her entrance and Hayoung raised her eyebrows, a little bit concerned – she never received this much enthusiasm from her friends before. “Is it true? Are you really? Why you never tell us?”

“Tell you… what?”

“That you’re Sehun Sunbae’s cousin!” someone yelled, and the others just talked at the same time – about how it’s unfair that Hayoung never told them, about could Hayoung help them with Sehun or with Jongin or with Naeun or with Hyeri, about how they would do the same with Hayoung, keeping it as a secret if they’re Sehun’s cousin – Hayoung’s mind couldn’t filter them all.

“So? Is it true? You’re Oh Sehun’s cousin?” a girl asked.

Suddenly Sehun’s words came to her mind.

“Tomorrow, if anyone ask, just say yes.”

She thought of nothing and everything all at once; but mostly – Sehun’s deep stare and his smile, and the feeling he made her felt.

Hayoung grabbed the sides of her skirt, clenching on them. “… Yes…”

It seemed she had stepped on a mine.

Change the setting of Hayoung/Naeun meet (it's actually the original version!).

Change the details on Hayoung/Sehun first conversation.

And I change Sehun's car! It used to be a sedan, now it's a SUV. I think it's the most important change lol.

Thank you for reading!