I must say this room is much too cheery for me, all the bright colours and lively atmosphere. It kind of makes one feel as if this is a place where miracles happen.

Then again, this is a hospital.

Mrs. Jang returned, followed by three little kids; two girls and one boy. All of them were wearing the same pajama-like, white with colourful polka dots, hospital clothes.

One of the girls had two pigtails on either side of her head. She looked very innocent, fragile, and scared. The other girl, who was about an inch taller, looked rather peaceful and pleasant as well as talkative and social.

The boy looked just plain curious; curious about everything he saw through those square, thick-rimmed glasses of his.

“Kids,” Mrs. Jang’s witch resembling voice disappeared, replaced by a warm, motherly one in the presence of the kids. “This is Kai, call him hyung or oppa, he will be playing with you when you guys start your Saturday play-days next week! It’ll be lots of fun! Now introduce yourselves.”

They all stayed quiet for a moment and then–

“I’m Haneul and eight years old!” the talkative one chirped in a friendly tone. “Nice to meet you!”

She waved happily before the next one spoke.

“My name is Wookyung,” the boy cocked his head to the side as if he was analyzing me. “I’m eight years old as well.”

There was a long pause before the second girl spoke.

“I’m Sara,” the pigtails girl said quietly in a shy voice while avoiding my eyes. “I’m seven.”

They all looked at me expectantly and Mrs. Jang gave me a pointed look over her spectacles.

“Er, nice to meet you,” I said awkwardly.

“Jaehwa has an appointment right now so you won’t be able to meet him today,” Mrs. Jang told me. “You can see him next week. Come on, kids, I’ll take you back to your rooms. You can see Kai again next week.”

She left with the children scuttling behind her, the talkative girl, Haerin or whatever, waved before leaving. I figured I was supposed to stay here so I sat on the window ledge and looked out the window.

To be quite honest, my childhood wasn’t all that amazing and perhaps this is why I detest kids. There’s an annoyance and a longing to never see them again after my first encounter with the little beasts. It’s been ages since I’ve had contact with such tiny human beings, today just reminded me why it was like that.

A girl running into the room then took me out of my bitter thoughts.

She looked around and my first impression of this girl was lost, she looked just plain lost. As her eyes swept the room they landed on me and she jumped, just realizing I was there.

“Where’s Mrs. Jang?” she asked, blinking and still looking completely lost and confused.

I shrugged and looked away.

I felt her eyes on me before she left, probably to go find Mrs. Jang. I waited for a couple more minutes before Mrs. Jang arrived, looking as though she had a million things to do. She stopped in the doorway and turned to the right to shout to whoever was standing in the hall, “And make sure Haneul takes her vitamins! Thanks, Saehee!”

She walked into the room and stood in front of me. I looked up at her.

“There are some things I want you to know about the children,” she said, back to her strict voice. “First, Haneul has diabetes and other complications with her blood, be very careful about any food that she’s given, not that we will permit you to provide the children with any food that isn't in the cafeteria. And with that food too, be careful not to give her anything sweet because we will give her anything related to sugar.”

As if I was planning on handing out chocolates.

“Second,” she continued. “Wookyung has lung problems so do not let him participate in any activity that involves a lot movement, none of the children should for that matter, but take special care with Wookyung. Sara is a heart patient so she is very fragile as well, be very careful with her as she is very sensitive.”

I nodded as she was talking.

“And Jaehwa, who you will meet next week, has leukemia,” she said. “He was just recently diagnosed and is currently going through many tests and examinations. It is a difficult time for him so please make sure you help him relax and feel better.”

I nodded, “Okay.”

“All of the kids need special handling, you must be very gentle with them,” she reminded.

Geez, lady, enough with taking care of the kids as if they’re glass.

“You may go now, be here at 10 o’clock sharp next Saturday,” she said, writing something on her clipboard. “Report to me first and then I will give you further instructions.”

I nodded, stood up, gave her an awkward bow and left the stuffy, weird-smelling hospital that I was practically going to live in for the next ten months.

I decided to visit my mother after leaving the kid’s hospital. She was only a couple of bus stops away anyway.

Minutes after boarding the bus, I found myself in front of the psychiatric hospital that also had a rehab center in it. I walked in and went straight to the long term resident’s ward, I’ve been coming here for eight years so everyone knows me and I know this place pretty well too.

“Nice to see you Jongin,” one of the nurses nodded at me as she walked by and I nodded back. It was a long hallway with many rooms that had other permanent residents. My mother’s room was third from the end of the hallway where there was a large window overlooking the courtyard. 

I entered her room and found a nurse cleaning her closet while she was sitting on the bed reading a book.

My mother.

She had long, thick black hair that matched her dark eyes that were quite unlike my pure brown ones. She was very thin and looked rather weak, but she was still my mom.

“Mom,” I called as I walked into her room. “I’m here!”

She looked up and gave me a large smile, standing up to then give me a hug as big as her smile.

“Sit,” she said in her high pitched, gentle and soft voice. She sat down in her seat and gestured for me to sit beside her so I did.

“What are you reading?” I asked her as she picked her book up. The nurse gave me a nod before she left the room after tidying up the closet.

“Harry Potter,” she replied, holding the book up and giving me an excited, childish smile.

“That’s nice, do you like it?” I asked her.

She nodded happily and began reading once more.

I fixed my mother’s hair as she read, she didn’t notice as her focus only lasted on one thing at a time.

My mother’s state of mind had always been unstable, ever since I was born and it only became harder after she and my father went through many financial issues. My mother’s state became even worse after she immersed herself in drugs, eventually she went in too far to come back. She became a danger not only to me but to herself as well so she was brought to this hospital and she’s been here ever since, leaving me in my grandfather’s care when since I was nine. I visit her about once or twice a week, I did a lot more in the beginning but then the nurses told me I didn’t have to come so often. My grandpa visits a lot too, we go together sometimes.

My father?

I feel revolted to call himself my father; I blame him for my mother’s mind state. He didn’t bother taking care of my mom or me, he was always out and fighting with my mom, I hadn’t witnessed a very happy parentage. And when he finally got his together, he tried fixing our family ties but by then my mother’s sanity was already gone and my grandpa labeled him as irresponsible and unable to take care of me.

“I want,” my mom then said, her eyes still on the book. “I want my Jongin to be a good person, like Harry Potter.”

I looked at her with an amused smile on my face, “You want me to be Harry Potter?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “Harry Potter is nice and helps others and takes care of himself, I want Jongin to do that too.”

The image of Sungjong on the floor near the dumpster did no favours to my conscience.

“But I can’t do magic,” I stated.

“Who needs magic?” my mother said, she was talking to herself and unaware that I was next to her. To her, what I was saying at the moment was what her second voice was saying. She did that a lot when she read, she became immersed in a book and would talk to herself with replies from me that seemed like a second voice to her. “My Jongin has the biggest heart of all, that’s his magic.”

And then she let her eyes travel over whatever words were printed on the pages of the book, closing whatever conversation we just had.  

I wonder if she was in the right state of mind, how she would feel about me. Would she be disappointed?

Probably yes, but what am I supposed to do? I can’t change the way I am.

The person I’m closest to and respect the most in this world is my grandpa. But before that, it was my mom. Though she had trouble raising me for nine years, she never failed to show that she loved me even when her brain was so messed up.

My mom’s eyes began drooping and I knew she was getting sleepy so I gently took the book from her hands and put it on the side table. She made noises of protest but I lay her down on her bed.

“Sleep, Mom, you can read when you wake up,” I said, patting her arm. She was slowly drifting off to sleep when we heard a loud bang.

My mother shot up from her lying down position and I knew things were about to go downhill.

“Mom-” but she was banging her head against the side table.

“MOM! Stop!” I grabbed her by her frail arms and attempted to push her back but she fell to the floor and continued hitting her head against the side table.

I got down on the floor too and put my hand over her head where she was hitting her head, trying to trap her in my body so she would stop flailing. I could feel a bruise forming on her forehead as she continued to hit it, this time though, the pain went through my hand.

She began screaming and some nurses came in, helping me to control my mom.

We managed to get her on the bed, though she was still vigorously shaking her head.

“Here take this, Inhye, please,” one of the nurses held out a pill and glass of water.

My mom flung the glass of water out of the nurse’s hands and I grabbed her arms, forcing her to look at me.

“Mom, stop, please,” I said in a gentle, calm voice though my heart was pounding. “It’s me, Jongin, your son. Please calm down.”

Like usual when I did that, she calmed down and the nurses and I managed to give her medicine and I was able to leave after she fell asleep.

I always feel good after seeing my mom and taking care of her. Seeing someone get so happy just to see me, to see me the way I am makes me feel like I’m on top of the world. Not that Grandpa doesn’t, Grandpa might even care about me more than my mom at this moment, but a mother’s love is different.

Grandpa, the number one exception to my no respect rule, Myungsoo, who I respect but don’t listen to, and my mother who I cherish despite her uncontrollable flaws; they are the three most important figures in my life, thought I may seem to try and make it seem like I have none, they are. I try and take care of my mother and grandpa as much as I can, they need me.

But in all honesty, I think I need them a lot too.

When I got home, my grandpa was out, probably going around town with his friends and Myungsoo was at work.

The time was nearing two o’clock and I had nothing to do so I texted Sehun.

Where ya at?

His reply came right away.

Dying at an elderly people’s swim class.

I laughed at his response, it was impossible not to once the image of Sehun in water with a bunch of old people doing stretches came into your head.

The others?

Everyone’s busy, what about you? Don’t you have to serve your punishment somewhere?

I start next week.

Lucky. Gotta go, I have to help the elderly out of the water…….. -.-

I laughed to myself again and flopped onto the sofa. What to do now?

I don’t want to go running right now, it’s so bright and sunny outside, I hate running at that kind of time.

I decided to just head out and roam the streets for no reason, so I grabbed my wallet and jacket and I was out the door.

I used the bus to get to a busy street filled with different shops and began walking with my hands in my pockets.

It was pretty boring, walking around the streets watching people carry out their oh-so-happy lives, I found it quite incomprehensible that people could find joy without the aspect of daring and rule breaking.

“YOOOO, KAI!”

Someone bumped into me from behind and I found Baekhyun grinning at me as he walked beside me.

“Don’t you have a punishment to serve?” I asked as we bumped fists.

“I ditched when she told me I have a lunch break,” he grinned boyishly.

“Great, what should we do?” I asked.

“I’m hungry, let’s eat,” he said and we walked into the nearest restaurant for lunch.

We ordered a pizza and wings and were sitting at a booth waiting for our order to be done.

Baekhyun yawned, “Man that VP needs to chill out, he’s like an irritating rash.”

I snorted into my water at his metaphor and put the glass down.

Baekhyun looked expectantly at me from across the table.

“So? What are your plans? How should we get rid of him?” he asked.

“Why are you asking me? Suho comes up with the plans,” I shrugged. “Hopefully quickly cause I don’t want to spend another minute in a disease filled hospital.”

“You were given the heaviest punishment bud,” Baekhyun said. “Your indignation should rouse up a better idea than Suho any day.”

I smirked, that was true.

“Well, we could start the week off by paying some kid to break into his office and replace the cushion on his chair with a pillow case with water balloons,” I suggested.

“Ehhhh,” Baekhyun made a face. “You can do so much better than that.”

“I’ll let you know when I come up with something better,” I rolled my eyes. “Don’t worry, I’m not just going to leave this, he started a war with the wrong person.”

I may have agreed to go through all those punishments, but that was only for Grandpa’s sake.

I still needed my compensation from the VP for nosing into my life, but it was going to take me a while to come up with a genius plan.

Since I was suspended for two school days, I didn’t go on Monday and stayed at home with Grandpa and Myungsoo who had an evening shift on Mondays.

I mainly just helped around the house with cleaning and maintenance, I didn’t think it would be right of me to go out with my friends while I was suspended. 

Myungsoo and I were cleaning the garage when Myungsoo asked, “Grandpa told me that your mother had some trouble on Saturday, is she okay?”

I had barely seen Myungsoo since Saturday which was why he was asking me now. I had told Grandpa about what happened when he got home and he made sure to call the hospital to make sure she was okay.

“She’s okay,” I replied. “One of the nurses dropped a flower pot right outside her room while she was going to sleep, it just surprised her.”

“Ahh,” Myungsoo nodded. He knew all about our family situation and he was very nice about it. Myungsoo’s a respectable person who doesn’t do too much judging. As someone who works in a hospital, he just cares about saving people’s lives, not worrying about what they’ve done in them.

“So, I suppose you’re going to get revenge on the new VP?” he asked as I looked through a box of old decorations.

“I’m thinking about it,” I answered as I examined an ugly mask thing.

“Not that my words will stop you,” Myungsoo continued. “But don’t you think it’s time to grow up and learn to accept the consequences of your actions?”

“Nope.”

Just how long will I have to hear that darn word?

We started our detentions that week, it was hell, Choi made sure to breathe down our necks with his inflated nostrils every moment we were cleaning the stupid school.

Saturday arrived much too soon for my liking, I visited my mother before going to the kid’s hospital again. She was overjoyed to see me and didn’t hesitate to tell me all about what was happening in her Harry Potter book. I wish I could just stay with her the entire day.

Instead, I was sitting in the playroom once again, waiting for Mrs. Jang to arrive with the kids and whomever I was going to work with.

Seriously, this place makes me so uncomfortable, I want to get out of this as fast as possible.

Finally, Mrs. Jang came in followed by the four kids, one of whom I was seeing for the first time. He was following right behind Mrs. Jang, looking as though he was scared to let her out of his sight. He was wearing a beanie on his head and had a normal sized physique for a little kid, though he was a little on the skinny side.

“This is Kai hyung, the one I was talking about before,” she said kindly to him, bending down to his eye level. “Introduce yourself, he’s very excited to meet you.”

Just where did this lady get her information from?

The boy then turned to look me straight in the eyes and said, “I’m Kim Jaehwa, I’m eight years old. Nice to meet you.”

I barely heard his self-introduction, I was too busy being appalled by his eyes.

They were long and almond shaped, the double eyelid there but not very noticeable. They were chocolate brown and had a certain sparkle to them, a sparkle I hadn’t seen for a very long time.

Those eyes were exactly like mine.

This world is full of some weird .

Hello :)

Kai seems very complicated doesn't he? I hope I'm portraying his chracter properly T_T

On another note, Luhan's leaving Exo too? Dayummmm, well I hope things work out for them (the members staying and leaving)!

Tell me what you think about the chapter~! Bye!