A Surge of Unwanted Feelings

Looking at You
Minseok's first class just finished and he's a bit surprised to see Luhan already waiting for him outside. It was Minseok who usually arrives at the cafeteria first and him and Luhan just meet there. He thinks this is the first time this semester the male was able to fetch him after this class.

He raises his eyebrows as if questioning the boy's presence. Luhan gives him a tight-lipped smile before giving his explanation.

"Professor dismissed us early," Luhan takes some of Minseok's books from his arms. It's not heavy but Minseok doesn't complain when Luhan reaches out for it. No one can really win against Luhan's persistence.

Minseok just nods as a response.

"Where were you yesterday?" the younger boy asks which made Minseok furrow his eyebrows in slight annoyance.

"Where was I? I was at the library until closing time. Where were you yesterday?" Minseok asks not being able to hide the hint of annoyance and demand in his voice.

"I came back for you though," Luhan stops walking then faces Minseok who stopped his steps too. "I came back two hours later but you were nowhere in sight!" he adds in an agitated tone as if he's desperate for Minseok to believe him.

Minseok actually does.

"Well that was probably around the time I went out for a few minutes to buy some snacks," Minseok answers as he resumes walking with Luhan in tow.

"Oh," is Luhan's only reply. They make their way to the cafeteria quietly. Both seems to be thinking of other things.

"Sorry, Seok-ah. I wasn't able to walk you to your room," Luhan apologizes. His mouth twisted in a frown. He's blaming himself for not being there with Minseok when he promised that he would be.

"It's okay. You don't need to always be around me Luhan."

And such statement would have remain a simple statement if not for Luhan's over imaginative brain and oversensitive feelings. He feels like it's Minseok's way of indirectly saying that they're spending way too much time together than necessary. A heavy feeling settles in Luhan's gut but he chooses to brush it away temporarily as they both settle on their seats and greet their friends.

 

***

Luhan tries to distance himself from Minseok even just a little bit. It's hard to admit it to himself but what Minseok said the week before hit something within him and he cannot point out how he actually feels about it. He doesn't cut contact completely though. God knows he'll gonna be insane in no time if he doesn't see, talk or touch Minseok. But the decrease in their time together is definitely noticeable, especially for Luhan.

He's used to seeing Minseok everyday and not even two hours last as intervals pass during the day between his interactions with the boy. Now however, he's resolved to reduce his sleepovers this week. He decided to just cut it into two nights. He also decided to just see Minseok during the morning, lunch and dinner instead of their average 12-hour daily together time. It's hard but the thought of Minseok feeling suffocated and being angry with him makes him pull it through.

He just tries to distract himself through the rehearsals for their department's production and by hanging out with other people. It's hard but he copes.

It would be a lie if Luhan says he's not disappointed when Minseok did not comment anything about the change in their dynamics when a week passed. He was half-expecting Minseok to ask him if anything's wrong and why is Luhan spending less time with him. He expects Minseok to look even just a bit sad that his best friend's attention and time is not with him all day but all he witnesses are Minseok smiling daily just as he used to be, as if there was no change at all. Luhan dreads the thought that all the disappointment is completely one-sided but he never voices it out.

Luhan, as expected, makes the effort to bridge the somehow built awkwardness between them. He's outside Minseok's dorm room and is contemplating whether he should knock or just burst in just how he used to. He settles for the former.

Minseok opens the door for him and if he's startled, he doesn't show it. Instead he smiles at Luhan brightly and opens the door. Minseok's books are laid out on his desk and Luhan is a bit guilty for disturbing him.

"Wrong timing?"

Luhan eyes the variety of opened books, notebooks and highlighters on the desk.

"Not really, I was actually about to call it a night. My head's aching," Minseok laughs as he starts gathering his things.

Luhan's caring instinct for Minseok instantly kicks in upon hearing what the male said.

"Your head hurts? Do you need some medicine? I can get some for you I have them in my room," Luhan offers, trudging to Minseok's side. He pulls Minseok a bit to face him then puts his thumbs on either of the boy's temples, massaging it softly as he stares at the male with worried eyes.

"Don't worry, just a very mild headache. Nothing a good sleep can't heal," Minseok says but he doesn't shrug the hands off his face. He feels Luhan push him on his shoulders towards his bed and once he's seated Luhan sits beside him and resumes his massage.

"It feels good," Minseok closes his eyes as he basks on Luhan's soft touch.

Luhan can only hum as he's awfully distracted by how beautiful and handsome and cute Minseok is. He's grateful the older's eyes are closed because his stare on the boy now would never be mistaken as a look none other than of love. He traces his eyes on the boy's features and suddenly, a wave of different emotions flood him.

Luhan misses him. So much. They might still see each other everyday but it's still not enough for him. He looks at Minseok's lashes, his nose, his lips. Luhan gulps. He shakes his head to ward off any not-so-innocent thoughts that are starting to fill his mind.

He quickly shifts his gaze when Minseok suddenly opens his eyes.

"You okay? You're so quiet," Minseok jokes as he beams on Luhan.

"I'm okay. I just missed you Seok-ah," Luhan drops his hands, opting to encase Minseok in it, reveling in the warmth and softness of the other boy. He did not stop himself when his natural urge to nuzzle on the boy's neck kicks in. He's scared if he's being too clingy but assumes it's okay since Minseok's not stopping him. And boy, he does not regret it when that familiar scent reaches his nose and he only hugs the boy tighter. This scent is his comfort. His home.

Minseok chuckles then hugs Luhan back.

"We see each other everyday though. We even ate lunch together earlier," Minseok says, settling his chin on Luhan's head which is now buried on his chest.

Luhan murmurs something that Minseok does not understand.

"What did you say?"

"I said I don't care, I still miss you," Luhan pulls away from Minseok's chest for a second to repeat what he said before settling on it again.

"Hmmm, so soft," Luhan murmurs.

"Tch, sometimes I think you're just using me as your personal pillow," Minseok chides, hitting Luhan's back softly with his right hand.

Luhan whines and defends himself. "No way, you're a thousand times better than the softest pillows out there," he tightens his hug more, effectively zeroing any gap between them.

Minseok just hums in response. A few minutes in that position and Luhan hears Minseok yawn.

"You should sleep Seok-ah. Here, I'll massage your temples so you can sleep better," Luhan offers as he pushes the older nearer the headboard, helping him arrange his pillows in a more comfortable position.

"You sleeping over?"

"Hmm, of course. I can't let my best friend lose some sleep over some pesky headache," Luhan replies.

Minseok blinks and looks stunned for a second before smiling again.

"I shall sleep now then," Minseok says.

"You should," Luhan taps Minseok's right cheek lightly before proceeding to massage the male's temples.

It was definitely not intentional on Luhan's part but for the first time in the years they have known each other, they sleep on the same bed.

Yixing is not very thrilled to wake up to a screaming Minseok along with a loud thud that is most probably Luhan landing on the floor.

 

Note: This is somehow Luhan-centric. Don't worry, next chapter would be Minseok's side. Also I'm sorry for the late (and short) update. Because of this, I'll definitely post the next chapter later so it's kind of a double update. And it will be longer than this chapter too! 

Thank you for the new subscribers and the upvotes! Thank you so much. :)

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Comments

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Xiuhanisloveok #1
Chapter 7: I actually reread this fic a few times bc I LOVE THIS one so much ! Love your writing style,the characterizations and everything! Reading the same thing from both and luhan and minseok's pov was amazing, it helps to understand their feeling more and it's beautiful ! Also i just realized this had a school 2013 reference haha
adrabblemaker
#2
Hi, there. I might not know you and you might not know me either. But I know that once upon a time, this fic made me smile and brought me happiness. Thank you so much foe sharing this with us. This is one of the fics that stuck in my head because it's so memorable. The cuteness is just asdfghjkl. If I might say, this fic is so xiuhan, fluffy and naive in a good way. I wish to get to know you better tho. Happy Author Appreciation Day! ^^

Love,
adrabblemaker
icytoes
27 streak #3
Chapter 9: Definitely one of my favorite xiuhan stories.
London9Calling
#4
Gahhhh what a cute fic. Thank you for writing this ❤❤
sehunharu
#5
Chapter 8: this is so beautiful fic omg my xiuhan feeling all over in my heart..lol I love this so much!!!
venomboy17 #6
Chapter 9: You are always welcome. I'll be looking forward to the spin-off series. Hehehehe Fighting! :D
venomboy17 #7
Chapter 8: The bonus chap is awesome as always. hahaha. Fluffy in all the right places (whatever that means. hahaha) Thank you authornim for writing such a great fic :D
venomboy17 #8
Chapter 7: This is so good. Hahaha A very good Xiuhan fic. Off to read the spin off and the bonus chapter now. Its a good thing I found this hahaha
azeleepri
#9
Chapter 8: OMFG!! someone save me here. i'm basically melting! and i just can't stop squealing all over again with this fic. ohgawd~ i wish you can write more bonus chapters for this. i'd die happy. LOL :D
danigeo71727
#10
This was such a cute story! Minseok and Luhan were so oblivious but adorably so!